We all laugh at the Afrocentrist historical claims, but European nations, too...

We all laugh at the Afrocentrist historical claims, but European nations, too, have a habit of making up all kinds of shit to make themselves look good.
What are the best "we wuz kingz" theories in history?

Other urls found in this thread:

rationalwiki.org/wiki/Protochronism
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_Israelism
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bosnian_pyramid_claims
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palemonids
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hungarian_Turanism
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

You just posted it

Pic unrelated

>Charlemagne was French

Hyperborian theory
>we wuz aliens and shit

...

its currently happening in my country right now.
thanks modi.

>we had sewers and (not) shit

The European "we wuz kangs" nations in order of strongest to weakest "we wuz kangs" sentiment:

Romania
Italy
Greece
France
Ireland
Sweden
Macedonia
Poland
UK
Norway
Turkey
Russia
Lithuania

All other Euro nations have acknowledged and accepted their Africa-tier history

well memed lad, but no.
He is going full atlantis tier
>in the vedic age we wuz airplanes and shit
>we defeated alexander
>we wuz the best
>cow piss is best medicine.

I guess that makes the wageslave happy as inflation and stagnating economic growth eats up his savings.

It's like you were saying that history itself doesn't have any value at all, (((user))).

>Charlemagne was anything else but a Frank

Slovakia and Hungary deserve a place there.

Are Swedes even allowed to wewuz about their nation?

you either dont understand the sentiment or memeing

either way real list
>Macedonia
turkoslavs thinking they have anything to do with Alexander the great
>Romania
daco romanian meme theory officially propagated and established by their commie leader who they executed
>Norway
le vikings
>Slovakia
SVATOPLUK AND GREATER MORAVIA
>Greece
we are ancieeeeeent greeks, no turkish blood, we dont look the same haha
>Albania
le illyrian masterrace, pirates and shit

the rest at least have some legitime continuity of their claims

"Macedonia" isn't a little low mate ?

Would anyone argue that wewuzism is an essential part of nationalism? Origin stories and all that

The most wewuz I hear regularly is
>we founded Russia an shit
>We wuz European superpower an shit

t. Swede

Yes. There are people on /pol/ (back when I'd been a bit more edgy and had a bit more acne I browsed that a fuck ton so I know these weren't bait) who genuinely believed Qin Shi Huang was a lost Roman explorer, that 'ancient India' was ruled by whites who were driven out by the Dravidians and that the Japanese are overtanned Caucasians

>inflation and stagnating economic growth
In the US we call that stagflation.

I thought India was doing well economically and is stable under Modi because everyone's generally on board with him. What's going on with inflation? Wasn't 2015 India's year of greatest proportionate financial growth in a decade?

Russians claiming to be vikings, Brits claiming to be germanic

a lot of that was built up over the last 10 years of congress rule. The economic vitals are stable, but modi has not delivered in most cases. After the first 2 years of a government's 5 year term, India always goes to permanent election mode because different states have different elections.

Inflation would be vastly reduced for essential foodstuffs in india because we are a net exporter of food, but the government distribution system is in shambles. The previous congress government was taking steps to do rectify that with private investment, but this riled up the traditional voters of the BJP who profit the most from the fucked up supply chain.

Ever since modi has come to power, inflation refuses to come down, absence of actual reforms makes the rupee weaker on the international market, and india's growth is showing discrepancies especially in tax returns to the government.

basically, modi is running India like a convenience store (lel) and we are going to get fucked hard in the ass when that happens.

>wasn't 2015
it was largely because the indian government spent a lot less on crude oil because of the low price.

>Would anyone argue that wewuzism is an essential part of nationalism? Origin stories and all that

Certainly. Nationalist ideology can and will be justified by making people believe that their nation is special among others. But since it is easier to make up a glorious past then achieve things in the present, nationalists naturally turn to wewuzism.

Finland as a country is nothing more than the concept of a few Swedish artists imagination.

>What are the best "we wuz kingz" theories in history?

Germanics claiming to be Romans/Greeks.

But Mussolini wuz actually Romans.

Poles claiming to be Vandals/Sarmatians

Are you saying Sweden wasn't a great power?

"Scots" claiming to be celts even though they speak a foreign invading language.

Brits claiming to be anything

Don't they have a common language which is unique in Europe for not being PIE-descended?

Its weird, most famous finns have swedish names

No, I'm saying it wasn't a superpower like France or Spain.
Sweden was stilla great power during the 16th century

17th century

They do.
Same as Hungarians. Mainly because Finns are from Siberia.

They still believe it, one of the reason I left 8ch /pol/ completely.

Right, my bad

But it reminds me of Sweden during the 16th century and all the tasty memes
>Muh blood bath
>Muh vasalopp
>Muh pea soup
>Muh Vasa in general

>Ireland
What?

Lithuanians ruled teh slavs

>Germanics claiming to be Romans/Greeks.

When has that ever happened?

Turkish Turanism is pretty god tier in the "we wuz" regard.

What? We literally were kings and shit though.

>POLISH-lithuanian Commonwealth
>language: Polish, Latin, Ruthenian
>in the last days changed to just Poland no more Commonwealths, lol.
>we wuz kangs n shite

>Would anyone argue that wewuzism is an essential part of nationalism? Origin stories and all that
Part of the reason why nationalism is retarded, really.

Greece definitely has to go to the top of that list.

So kind of like most civilisations then?

#RULED

Yeah, polacks ruled over you.

Pic not related, right?
Mussolini literally was Roman and would have recreated the Roman Empire - and gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling Allies.

Yeah, Romania is easily one the worst offenders.
rationalwiki.org/wiki/Protochronism

But Fomenko's "New Chronology" still takes the cake with his Great Russian Horde.

It's even funnier when you consider that indians were probably the first civilization to have a widespread, if primitive, form of sewer system.
How could they forget how to poo in the loo?

a lot of them would rather buy a new satellite TV dish and crap outside than buying a new toilet.
t. Actual indian.

>Russia
>Weakest
WE WUZ MAMMOTHS N AYYRIANS N VIMANAS SHIET

Then they deserve all the hatred and mockery they get.
That said, how comes the government doesn't at least try to put toilets as standard requirement in new buildings? That way in time your people would be forced to use the loo.

Never really noticed Swedes, Norwegians or Lithuanians online

No, you see, Mali doesn't count because it didn't develop as it was without contact with other civilizations, unlike European civilizations. Those developed in a vacuum without any impute from the Middle East and totally didn't rip off the Romans who were ripping off the Greeks who hadn't been trading and warring with their neighbors without any sort of exchange of ideas whatsoever.

>
>
>

they do that. People who shit in the streets even get those houses for free, and since a lot of them are prime real estate, they sell those houses as soon as possible and use the money to buy more motorcycles and clothes and smartphones - pretty much everything but a porta-potty.

God can't save this country because people here have decided that everything will happen in due course of time. Might as well keep shitting on the roads until we die and let our kids use the loo.

Of course the Unicef video was completely useless and became good meme fodder.

>Implying Belarusians wuzn't true Litvinz n shiet

>Never really noticed Swedes online
Start a thread about Gustavus Adolphus and you will.

The WE WUZ THE DESTROYERS OF NAZI is pretty strong in Poles.

kek. what?
how do they get that?

I'd imagine it's
>muh uprising
>muh AK
>muh dindu nuffin
>muh Western betrayal

I though Poles were more like "WE WUZ BASTION OF EUROPE" (against mongols, turks, russians/soviets)

>polacks had to bend over to some illiterate swampnigger
>a dynasty of said savages also ushered in the only golden age poolacks ever had
pretty pathetic, tbqh

"I was the archaeologist stationed at Great Zimbabwe. I was told by the then-director of the Museums and Monuments organisation to be extremely careful about talking to the press about the origins of the [Great] Zimbabwe state. I was told that the museum service was in a difficult situation, that the government was pressurising them to withhold the correct information. Censorship of guidebooks, museum displays, school textbooks, radio programmes, newspapers and films was a daily occurrence. Once a member of the Museum Board of Trustees threatened me with losing my job if I said publicly that blacks had built Zimbabwe. He said it was okay to say the yellow people had built it, but I wasn't allowed to mention radio carbon dates... It was the first time since Nazi Germany in the thirties that archaeology has been so directly censored."

Poles have a huge victim complex in general, together with adamant denial of their own mistakes which is pretty funny at times. They also consider their history a serious business.

we wuz romans is every british public schoolboy ever

he polonized himself and forgot about anything Lithuania related

lithuanian language was pushed out from existence too. if it wasn't for Bismarck that hated Poles, Lithuania wouldn't exist

Sarmatians and Vandals were a strong meme in Poland.

You posted the facts as 'we wu' you stupid fuck.

It's crazy to think whackjobs still fetishize Rhodesia when it was pulling shit like this.

we did defeat alexander you self hating hindu loving fucking cuckold

Pretty much every European country had a "we wuz romans" movement. Even if they didn't claim to be the direct successors to Rome, every kingdom and nation adopted the trappings of Roman power and prestige. For example, several Anglo-Saxon rulers adopted the style Imperator, despite it having nothing to do with their government structure or culture.

When a bunch of rich Englishmen declared that Anglo Saxons wuz actually israelitez n shiet

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_Israelism

Plus whichever Habsburg emperor had a family tree made which included Adam and several Greek gods.

>muh uprising, muh resistance, muh obscure unit of polish pilot aces in the British military

Poland never stopped fighting until the Nazi scum was defeated!!

Also inferiority complex

There's also the opposite, claiming an enemy nation is a bunch of subhumans who never had a civilisation was very common.

>There's also the opposite, claiming an enemy nation is a bunch of subhumans who never had a civilisation was very common.

Yeah, that's like every thread about Germany on Veeky Forums. I think you are onto something.

alexander subdued a few hill tribes in the indus and went home.
Fuck off bhakt. People like you will romanticize literal retards like prithviraj chauhan and some noname zamindar who just happened to be a hindu to get your revisionist saffron nationalist meme in order.

Crazy, I heard of that before I think it was called war propaganda or racism or something along these lines

It's because until the rise of nationalism in the later half of 19th century being Finnish was looked down on. Finns would speak Swedish and have Swedish names and state operated solely on Swedish language. So the elite were all Swedish speaking and elites always have easier way to fame.

>Charlemagne
>I WUZ SEEZAR

Franks literally believed they were the descendants of the refujees from Troy.
Medieval British too believed that they were Trojan descendants by the way of an ancestor named Brutus, that they used to hold Norway and Denmark, as well as Gaul and Hispania and even sacked and brought Rometo submission during the height of the empire.

One thing I don't understand about wewuzery is the descendants of FUCKING PEASANTS claiming various kings and emperors and aristocrats as their kin just because they spoke the same language (and sometimes not even that). It completely baffles me, I mean if you actually have traced your ancestry to some of those people then that's good, but otherwise it's objectively laughable. This goes for both Europeans and Africans.

That's different though.

There is a significant mile between an Italian feeling pride towards the Romans and n American of West-African descent feeling pride towards East-Africans, or the Xia dynasty. Europeans don't have wewuzism because unlike black Americans Europeans aren't completely disconnected from their true heritage.

If this is legit, this must be it
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bosnian_pyramid_claims
It sounds like some kind of bad joke though. I can't imagine there are Yugos actually believing this shit.

Funny, since most people can trace their ancestry to some noble somewhere.

Then Victorian Age Brits believed they were some lost tribe of Israel.

Again, this isn't wewuzism. Charlemagne didn't claim ancient Romans were franks he just decided to make himself a successor to Rome.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palemonids

Hungarian Turanists are the epitome of wewuzery, like it reaches downright comical dimensions.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hungarian_Turanism

>The extremist Turanians insisted on “ties of ancestry” with the Turkish peoples, Tibet, Japan and even the Sumerians, and held the view that Jesus was not a Jew but a Hungarian

The absolute worst offenders are "Macedonians" and "Ulstermen".

Macedonians claim the heritage of Alexander despite being turk/bulgar rapebabies

Ulstermen (of the protestant/loyalist camp) claim the heritage of the ancient Gaelic hero Cú Chulainn, who lived more than a thousand years before their ancestors ever even set foot in Ulster.
And some even claim Saint Patrick was a Protestant, even though he lived again about 1000 years before the Reformation.
>jewbook slash BELFASTLAD/videos/452310974973859/

all yuros are descendants of charlememe

The Red Hand of Ulster also comes from the O'Neill. Ulster loyalists literally have no culture other than burning bonfires and hating Catholicism and Ireland.
>inb4 they get triggered and start shitposting about the famine

Exactly. It's the application of modern, 19th-20th century national identity to a time when monarchs ruled a patchwork of territories inhabited by completely different population, and most people cared little about what happened beyond the boundries of their local community.

Except that nationalism is anti-monarchist and not based on monarchy. Nationalism is based on language, culture and ethnicity, not reverence of history. What you are discussing is more akin to patriotism.

They also claim to be Jews.