You will never live the lavish lifestyle of a Roman Emperor

FPBP

I'm willing to bet most Roman emperors would switch places with the average poorfag of today if they could. Just for the simple things. Internet. Air conditioning. Ice cream. Being able to travel most of the world unmolested. Deoderant. Shit like that.

knowing that aside from the free sex, I'm living better than every Roman emperor that ever lived by simply being a lower middle class American

where do you people get these memes from?

You're like the folks who think everyone from the middle-ages was constantly covered in dirt

Seeing as the average emperor lived like a fucking hobo would today

I don't fucking care

I have icecream and vidya, the fuck did they have? My history teacher told me the salary of an emperor is the equivalent of what a fucking bin man earns now

fucking this. I have fucking shoes, iphones, the internet, ceiling fans. Why would I swap that for some pathetic fucking emperor faggot who'd probably die at 30 of the common fucking cold?

>the salary of an emperor is the equivalent of what a fucking bin man earns now
sounds legit

even if that isn't true

did they have deodorant? air conditioning? the internet? I thought fucking not. I live like a fucking god compared to an emperor.

I dont know about you fags but I'd give up ice cream air conditioning and jet travel in a heartbeat if it meant I could command hundreds of slaves, have a harem, live in an opulent villa, and have the ability to start wars of conquest whenever I felt like.

Lack of internet would be hard though .

>Lack of internet would be hard though .

It would be a fucking blessing though

What the fuck are you talking about? The average Afghan farmer is an illiterate that lives in a mudhouse and his starving children run around half naked even during winter.

And Afghanistan is okay compared to some African nations

Trust me, they have it way worse than Roman emperors did

>Finally, he set aside a room in the palace and there committed his indecencies, always standing nude at the door of the room, as the harlots do, and shaking the curtain which hung from gold rings, while in a soft and melting voice he solicited the passers-by. There were, of course, men who had been specially instructed to play their part. For, as in other matters, so in this business, too, he had numerous agents who sought out those who could best please him by their foulness. He would collect money from his patrons and give himself airs over his gains; he would also dispute with his associates in this shameful occupation, claiming that he had more lovers than they and took in more money.
you will never be Elagabalus ;_;

>you will never be poisoned by your sister or stabbed by the captain of your bodyguards.

You can get most the luxuries they got, and you can get more of them for a lot less money and power than they had.

Well I'm sure many are figuratively.

This.

Due to my redpilled PUA techniques, I can "sack" ;) a whole town and take their women into my harem.

So much fucking this. The emperors only had acess to things that a fucking poor person would have acess to today.

Why the fuck are these jokes even called emperors?

>mfw the kid looks like an 80's British alternative gothic rocker

do you have access to blowjobs and gladiatorial fights every afternoon?

no but I have deodorant and ice cream

I'm probably richer than an emperor as well

I earn £24000 and an emperor earned on average about £14000

I delude myself into thinking that some day I will. It's pretty much the only thing getting me up in the morning.

Why do you guys assume people from ancient history would even understand what we have today?

Something as basic as an MP3 would be completely beyond the comprehension of someone from hundreds or thousands of years ago.

Roman emperors were the 0,1% of human population at their times, they held immense power, influence, had everyone else around them work at their pleasure and had harems of only the very best women.

>You're like the folks who think everyone from the middle-ages was constantly covered in dirt
>current tech is bad
>less infant mortality is bad
>less mother dying in child birth is bad
>general longer quality of life is bad
You can kill yourself and be transported back in time, you know?

yeah but did they have deodorant?

>current tech is bad
>less infant mortality is bad
>less mother dying in child birth is bad
>general longer quality of life is bad

I didn't claim any of that. Fuck off and stop making arguments out of nothing.

What does it matter? Emperors got to bathe every day with babes

Nigga wtf is there to understand? Does the average person understand what an mp3 is beyond its function as a way to listen to music?

>ITT: sour grapes
Reminder that the emperors were closer to gods than rulers to their people
>but muh deodorant
Baths. Not to mention body odour is a relatively new invention, before that people didn't even notice
>muh ice cream
Nero actually invented a sort of prototypical ice cream, by having mountain snow brought to him.

Not to mention your counterargument to not having a harem of concubines and all kinds of power is literally sugary foods, which is quite sad

>body odour is an invention
The fuck?

I'm pretty sure people would know and would take issue with if someone smelled like shit.

They are all off-shoots of not wanting to live in this generation, idiot.

In the old days everyone but royalty smelled like shit friend, you just got used to it

Epic meme my friend

Yeah and you're an offshoot that should have landed in a tissue.

>can't deny it
>l-le epic meme
What, you think your average peasant could afford to wash himself in freezing winter?

It's true though. People get used to smells, even horrible ones. It's called olfactory fatigue

If you live in a first world country you are already living the lifestyle, minus all the women.

You are very very stupid and ignorant as to what an emperor was.

This thread reeks of retards. Veeky Forums is dying too young.

A Roman emperor literally lived the lifestyle that a working class guy would live nowadays, they'd view a guy with more than one property as a god on fucking earth

Working class guys have an army of slaves and a harem of concubines ready to take care of their every need? Don't know what the fuck Marx was on about then.

"It's better to burn out than to fade away."
- Elagabalus (did nothing wrong)

>How do you deal with this feel?
By having a better general standard of living than them

Yeah aside from that what did they have? Fucking nothing.

As a 21st century first worlder, I have more money and power than an ""emperor""

user, you are getting called a memer because you are literally memeing. Yes they could. Do you also believe that people died when they were 35?

>aside from the major stuff, what did else did they have
Also I doubt you have more power than an emperor there my delusional friend, an emperor could start wars and order assassinations and what now, you can't
People had more important shit to do than heat up water just to do something they considered purely cosmetic

Why? Aside from the fact that everbody listened to their every whim, we have all the luxury they have. Though most of us have to work for it. The living conditions of most plebs were utterly miserable, comparable to modern Africa.We have it good.

Yeah an aside from the fact he's a billionaire, Bill Gates isn't that rich

He still had to wait for months to get the exclusive stuff. We can get everything we want instantly from grocery stores. Having alot of money back then isn't comperable with having alot of money nowadays.

Do you think the Emperor would do his own grocery shopping?

Oh wow another thread by someone who doesnt understand Damocles Sword

What, you don't think they used stockpiles and he didn't have his own special gardens?

>Le people worked 24/7 meme.

>le people would go out to draw water, then waste some wood to heat it all up instead of staying snug in bed meme

>Le everyone and everything was miserable back then and people couldn't afford wood or water meme.

>Elagabalus suffocate his hosts under a rain of flowers
you will never be Elagabalus ;_;

>le everyone and everything was idyllic back then and people would gladly waste valuable wood and water for something they considered cosmetic meme

>Le wood and water and food and houses and air were luxuries back then meme.

>You're like the folks who think everyone from the middle-ages was constantly covered in dirt
No, I don't think that.

But the were covered in "not having fucking penicillin", and I'd rather not be covered in that.

>My history teacher told me the salary of an emperor is the equivalent of what a fucking bin man earns now
Well, Roman emperors didn't really have a salary.

But for what I actually replied for: the fuck is a bin man?

>Something as basic as an MP3 would be completely beyond the comprehension of someone from hundreds or thousands of years ago.
That's not really fair. Like, precisely how it does what it does, maybe, but there are people today who don't know what computers of any kind are actually doing. But I think they could pick up on "box that makes music". Now, the stock market or Twitter, that'd be beyond them.

Who cares? They could take hot baths every day

etc.: fags

best answer

No one is trying to poison me with every meal and drink.

Also the chance of me catching a disease or horrific illness in this day and age are pretty rare.

rubbish truck operator

>being this american

I would never have lived past the age of five if I were born at any point prior to 1955, so while I am interested in learning about history, I'm not about to wax nostalgic about it.

yeah well nobody cares if you lived or not gaylord

And you're blowjob-less. Your house is not made of gold-incrusted marble and volcanic concrete painted with natural pigments so rare they have since gone extinct, your every home appliance hasnt been hand-sculpted with eagles, heroic representations of you hand-shaking all the cool gods and every single fantasy creature you can think of, you dont eat the hand-picked, literal best food in an entire continent nor wear furs from animals it took armies to find, fight and kill.

You can't make 80,000 faggots march into Germania and you dont get to air your balls in a sweet ass toga and be respected for it.

I can actually do the latter part in videogames, and do it while watching the latest happenings on youtube.
also
>3dpd

Be honest, the only thing you are jelly of is the thought of a huge harem and servants. Take away those two things and you would never even consider it

>having a net worth of over 1 trillion
>would never even consider it

>I want to be an hedonist but I am not so I am sad and anyone who does not want to be as hedonistic as me is a moron

kill your self

>comparing bad simulations to reality
you're playing RISK on an magnavox odyssey compared to a real general

>implying some lazy faggot on the internet has more drive than a roman emperor

>women with hairstyles of germanic men of the era

You have to be trolling. A Roman emperor would be a lot more wealthy than you.

We're talking about Rome here. There were public bath houses. Sure the poorest might've smelt like shit but that's the same today.

I know that, I'm talking about the medieval era

>ctrl+f ice cream
>5 results

get a life user

>muh reality
>says the idiot on a virtual imageboard.

Are you not real?

As opposed to a real life one?

I'm talking to a real person through a real medium. Nothing here is a simulacrum of something else. War games are simulacra of real war. They could be completely abstract, like a game of cards, but they imitate reality, or a fantasy reality, instead.

>I earn £24000

>he thinks his muslim pounds are worth something after brexit

All money is worthless, it is a representation of wealth, not wealth itself. The only way to be rich is to convert money(liquid) into goods(solid), because goods can increase their value or decrease it slowly compared to coins, which are always suffering from deficiencies like inflation due to the inexact nature of an economy's growth. They are market tools, not goods. Real state and land, vehicles, machinery and stocks in stable industry are all more valuable than the money you can buy them with.

The emperor owns an empire, you own a college debt.

>people dont realize that roman emperors had access to what was equivalent to trillions of dollars worth of wealth, thousands of servants who did everything for you, the ability to tell anyone in your massive empire with tens of millions of people what to do and access to every amenity and luxury

Yeah, you're actually comparing your shit tier modern salary to the power of one of the greatest empires ever where the emperor had access to what was considered 50-60% of the entire empires GDP. Augustus Caesar owned Egypt and had an estimated net worth of 4.6 trillion dollars.

classics.mit.edu/Augustus/deeds.html

Just read the translation of the book on Augustus. If you think your wealth even came close to a roman emperor you're a retard. There isn't a single human alive today who can come close to the wealth of a roman emperor. Some of these rulers would literally just shut everything down and run games for 100+ days and pay out of their own pocket.

By marveling at all the great shit I have. I have a vehicle that can take me further in a day than they could travel in a week. I have a phone with the a majority of the world's knowledge on it. I have a lifespan stretching into my 80s. I have a device than can capture memories forever. I have a license to use a device that can take to the skies and travel around the world in mere hours. Etc etc.

Roman emperors had parties and Visigoth twink boipussy to smash. Whoop-Dee-do.

None of that wealth made living a life of fear worth it.

I dont need a life because i have ice cream

British Pounds are though

Sooooo much this.

It blows my mind how you can be so stupid too even assume your wealth is somwhere near a Roman emperor. We are talking about razing large parts of romes inner city to build a large decadent palace (the golden house) or having an Arena that you could food for artificial sea battles. Sure you have more advanced technology at your disposal but todays society has no one who is even remotly comparable. Neither Bill Gates nor the president could just destroy inner city NYC to build a huge palace.

Compared to a modern guy, emperors were fucking pathetic.

I have deodorant, ice cream, air conditioning and baths. They had some fucking whores. Big whoop. I probably earn more than one anyway, and I won't die before 25 like the average roman.