S H I T

S H I T
I somehow got a tinder date. What do I do? Help me?

naive or lying

This, women have the attention span of a child. Cause they are fucking childrens.

it's all a mental game. stop being a sissy and just go for what you want.

>just because she says she might want to grab pizza sometime doesn't mean she's going to let some random stranger fuck her right off the bat.
that's exactly how it works

oh ye poor fool

find a chad and tell him to show you his facebook pictures, then tell him to point out every girl he has fucked

He doesn't get it my dude

If she actually just wants to get pizza you definitely wouldn't meet at her place

That's code for they want to get fucked by a guy who wants to fuck them at least more than once.

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>this fucking thread

/fitlit/ is a work of art

This post was obviously made by a girl

>a
an, you illiterate dipshit

'you've unearthed something old and broken.'

Are you taking the piss?

is this what lit is like?

>are
is*, you illiterate retard

>a friend of mine wants to hang out with me
>she has an amazing rack
>but no ass
>literally no ass to speak of, like her chest sucked all the potential from her ass
>she is also vapid

do I hump and dump and hope for the best, guys? We have A LOT of friends in common and I know she would tell them.
Beyond this, she is vapid as fuck. I don't think she's ever read anything outside of really shit genre fiction.

What do?

>I don't think she's ever read

LOL who gives a fuck reading is for fucking faggots and nerds kek

U wot m8???

>what do?

missionary my friend, that way you dont have to look at her flat ass but see her nice rack

>bad credit score

>girls on the internet
It thought we already talked about this ?

I mean to actually talk to the dude a bit first, those other girls in the picture give off the impression that they'd fuck the guy right as they showed up on their doorstep.
It'd make sense to actually talk to the dude a bit first just in case he gives off bad vibes or something, but then again that'd be the smarter thing to do, and these are just whores

she never specified getting pizza at her place, she could have very well meant to go out on "date"

Nah, I just have a very poor outlook on casual sex for being degenerate

"darn"

>Nah, I just have a very poor outlook on casual sex for being degenerate
You have a very poor outlook in general.

uhh, yeah I'll guess I'll just use my mind control powers

>australian """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""humour"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

>mind control? In ROLEPLAY? HOW UNREALISTIC
user I do hope you weren't planning on using actual, real-life threats/blackmail.

W-well...
I mean I'm not exactly experienced in that kind of thing

If it comes to it you can work that into the roleplay.

>H-hi I'm an apprentice wizard and -- Oh shit! I accidentally mind wiped you with my wizard powers! btw suck my dick

Okay you get the picture.

>I do hope you weren't planning on using actual, real-life threats/blackmail.
where do you think you are?

Actually friendo, this is Aussie humor ;)

sorry i wasted your time

lmaoooo

REST IN PEACE YOU CRAZY DIAMOND

hey Veeky Forums how many calories are there in sour grapes?

>Darwin once wrote in his origin of species of the survival of the fittest.
No he didn't

>Can I have a mug of milk coco too, mummy?
I dare you, faggot.

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Well, dubs already

Would this work on guys if you had a picture of a beautiful woman?

this isn't going to work, I promise you.

Even clever girls are still a slave to their primal sexual urge to submit to the pure masculine

She sounds dumb. Tell her that you want to just get to the fuckin

He should say:
>I just calculated the square of pi.
And she is like: "Ooh?"
>Yeah, it's rooted firmly in your pie. ;)

That is the most awful thing I've ever heard.

>you regularly make women you have no sexual interest in laugh because you aren't being a turbo autist around them
It hurts.

What about:
>I must be a Cajun...
Her: "Why?"
>Because I'd love to taste your crawdad. :P XD

tell her her taste is shit and that you dont date plebs

the best kind of raped :^)

Wow and I thought I was an autist with no social skills. It looks like this woman has me beat.

you better have replied to her, she's actually got a sense of humour

>5 days ago
>no reply

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Kek u blew it

Haha, holy fuck.

Can I use up one of my other dubs like:

>Text girl in the afternoon
>She hasn't responded in a while
>panic

EVERYTIME

WHY THE FUCK AM I LIKE THIS

Top shit lad

t. manlet

Just picture them as 'pleasure receptacles'.

Because you are a bright person, who perhaps did not mature emotionally as much as you should have as an adolescent (or are somehow hindered in that regard), and you falsely believe that everyone else in the world perceives the same shortcomings in your life that you do, which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy in the end.

Forgive yourself my man, you are a good person with many positive qualities, and you deserve to be loved.

LEL

Yawn....it's back on

>I stole the crown jewels, I need to hide them, any ideas?
Her: "What?"
>I know! Can I bury them in you? ;)

Oh, faggot, nice way to recant.
>I might be kidding about that, but I'd like to make kids with you.

Holy shit that's one of the nicest things someone said to me on Veeky Forums thank you

mummy mummy me want milkies!
*grabs tits*
*sucks nipples*

>tfw trapped in a relationship

OK long story short, we met on this livestream app and we instantly kicked off. Thing is, she leaves a few states away and we're both poorfag students.

The relationship obviously isn't going to work, so I want to end it. However she is constantly texting me "I love you so much" and telling me how I'm her only friend.

TL;DR: How do I break up with a girl I've never met without breaking her heart?

>Are you an empty yogurt pot? Because I'd lick you out.

Now tell her that you want soitroast her with your boy Jamal

WINRAR
Since was a waste.

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kekked hysterically

Block her and never contact her again, that's what I'd do.

You need the punchline:
>I know! Can I bury them in you? ;)
Also

Don't ignore my winrar you cuck.
Finish the Crown Jewels shit then do my winrar

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Oh fuck my life... :'D

But that will break her heart user, she has me on social media as well

You just need to talk to her about how you think it won't work.
It's going to hurt.

fucking gold

This needs to get sexual, fast.

Tell her your going to pick her up for a nice dinner, then set her back down on your dick.

Well guess what, that's what love is. It sucks man, but this girl deserves to know the truth.

>Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.

Rolling for this, after

holy fuck

>Have sex in my parents house.
That wasn't going to happen

How is it that you are consistently half delivering these lines.

this is /fitlit/ not /shit/

how are women this fucking stupid

these threads depress me

>tfw I used to be chubby and dorky so girls would never give me attention and now that I can get any woman I want I just reject them all out of spite
I'll never enjoy anything and I don't even want to anymore.

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