Stupidest Veeky Forums related things you've done/seen?

>be me
>buy new car
>rear wheel drive, making 250+ hp
>time to be dagumi
>build up speed and rip the e-brake in the wet
>car slowly jerks to a stop
>mfw i realise I had ABS on

>e-brake
>ABS

hand brake* park brake* idk

>hand brake* park brake
>abs
>250 hp rwd
>needing handbrake and wet for skids
git gud

Got a warning for doing a burnout with a 300D W123 Benz.
The police officer just laughed and told me that I've probably made a world record or something, actually managed to get a ticket for doing a burnout in a 80hp diesel shitbox.
He thought it was so hilarious that didn't even feel like ticketing me, just told me to not try that shit again and let me off with a warning.

>be me
>be a small town girl
>live in a small town world
>have penis
>be 15
>have car friend also 15
>like cars a lot. Know supra has turbo
>what is compression ratio? What is duration and lift
>know names but no real knowledge
>pretend like we do
>friend has pulled a ls1 from a wagon and disassembled and reassembled it in less than a day
>I am just super smart with cars, no real hands on experience
>see 88 Nissan Pulsar for sale. No rego. $150
>think "heck yeah". Use friends centrelink money to buy it and push it home.
>pushed it the 100 metres to his house
>no licenses but whatever we thugs
>cars in his garage, we turn the key
>it starts
>time to modify this bitch
>run 11s
>1.6L automatic carbureted 4 cylinder
>begin weight_reduction.exe
>seats are gone, carpets gone, roof liners gone, stereo and dash too.
>duct tape the speedo to the steering column
>have shaved at least 400Kgs and 3 seconds off this bitch
>friend is busy modifying the engine
>radiator is now full
>find hatchet in garage, use it to tear off the plastic panels
>talking to friend about the tune up we will do
>decide to tap the passenger window with hatchet
>entire window shatters in safety glass pieces
>another 50kgs and 0.5 seconds shaved off
>car has been tuned
>hole in bonnet and PVC pipe running to the open hole over the carburettor
>airflow times 10
>time to run 9s
>turn key
>engine cranks, does not start
>must be a blown fuse
>spend hour looking at fuses and telling friend he messed up the tune
>jiggly spark plug wires
>hit distributor with hatchet
>amazed it still doesn't start
>keep turning key to crank
>blow fuse
>no more crank
>replace fuse after a trip to the parts shop
>cranks but doesn't start
>starter_must_be_broken.bat
>remove starter and take it to girlfriends dad
>he is mechanic
>tell him its broken
>he connects it to a battery
>it makes a quick jump and a loud noise and we get scared
>starter is fine
>reconnect it and give up for the day
>turns out it had no fuel
>we know cars

>remove abs relay/fuse

Now you can drift.

>be me poor fag
>try a burn out in my v6 stang
>only one wheel spins
>learn what an LSD is
>Sell car
>cry

I saw someone buy a Ford once.
That's the worst thing I've seen

>hand brake* park brake* idk
>ABS

Unless it's one of those new cars with a retarded electrical parking brake, there is literally nothing but a steel wire and a few levers in the entire system. ABS doesn't affect it at all.

I'm waiting for the day I get a ticket for excessive acceleration or something because I actually pay attention to stop lights and get a second or two head start on everyone else in the line. Wonder what the judge's face would be like when I tell them "I drive a jeep cherokee. Your sedan is probably twice as fast."

>$70k+ C7
>automatic
>driven by an elderly man
>never exceeds 5 mph over

My friends and I were bored enough to take a corolla through this offroading trail. Made it about 3 miles back and got stuck. Had to get some redneck passerby to pull us out

nah you can just press a button to turn it off from the factory

It does tho because when i turned off ABS i could easily do skids

abs doesn't affect the parking brake or your bus pass.

>be me
>2013
>buy my first car off my parents pic related
>go full autism, put a 12in sub in the trunk and plasti dip the wheels/emblems black
>cringeworthy stickers on the back window
>first weekend with the car out fishing with some friends
>know there is a dirt road(unprotected cliff on right side) behind the lake every kid with a fast car skids on
>pile my friends into this poor oldladymobile, floor it onto the dirt road
>only ever seen people drifting in the movies
>hit about 55 right at the first bend comes up
>Turn the wheel as hard as possible and floor it, immediately lose control
>car goes sideways, oversteers
>we slide halfway off the cliff while still going sideways
>hear the boulders shred the under part of my car
>SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT.jpg
>lay on the gas to try to get the back end onto the road
>poor beat up AWD system is screaming
>as we stop sliding the car pulls itself back onto stable ground, simultaneously rip the front left tire off the wheel
>later learned I blew the rear main seal from laying on the gas for 45+ seconds
>friend gets out and goes ape shit
>throws me out of the car
>>YOU ALMOST KILLED US
>tell Discount Tire worker the tire "just fell off"
>looks at my car
>under carrige is ripped to shreds, dents in my resonator, car full of dust
>he gives me the biggest longest stare ive ever seen
>put the tire back on
>go home
>never again

nice one. moron

This is me having fun in my car

This is me afterwards

>post on Veeky Forums a year ago confessing I didn't know how to do a burnout in pic related
>finally find ABS button, too late, it's screencapped and posted every time I post my car

>Driving home from Florida to Ohio
>le winter roads
>literally 15 minutes from home on 55 mph highway
>grandma is going 25, I get impatient and pass her
>hit patch of black ice, car goes into disgusting spin mode, spin out across four lanes of traffic and hit the ditch on the other side
>busted front/back bumpers, bent my exhaust
>uncle talked the cop out of giving me a ticket

All things considering my Veeky Forums life hasn't been too bad.

Two days ago some stupid fucking cunt in a Volvo estate ambulance sat in the right hand lane of a dual carriageway (UK so thats the fast lane) doing 50mph holding up probably 5 million miles of traffic because he is a massive cunt and no one would overtake/undertake him because they thought he was a police car.

"tire just fell off kek"

I bought a 97 f250 powerstroke with 214k that had been sitting in someone's yard for three years. This past December.
Leaks, bad smells, and rust.
Leaks, bad smells, and rust everywhere.
Also, the electronics are fucky. When the lights are on, the left turn signal and hazards don't blink and the transmission loses one of its shift points (35mph).
I'm not too bright, I guess.

another promising thread topic undermined by the OP's chronic faggotry...

Kek , screening this

Same story with my volvo but it all went better than expected. I don't notice the smell of gas anymore because that's all I smell on my commutes

Kek iktf
I feel of diesel exhaust every time I drive the truck, but damn is it satisfying.
Broke down the first two times I drove it, though. That wasn't fun.

>Going to school
>Middle of winter in Ohio
>Hasn't snowed for days
>Roads are completely clear and salty af
>I'm behind some stupid cunt going 15 mph in a 45 mph zone
>Literaly no reason to go that slow, this road was completley clear
>Stuck behind her for about a mile
>We turn onto this road that cuts straight through a cornfield
>Pass her
>As I'm re entering the lane I hit a patch of snow that got blown in from the field the night before
>Literaly the only patch of snow on the road and I managed to find it
>Ass end of truck gets hektik
>Countersteer
>over correct and end up backwards in the other lane
>Come to a complete stop
>Think holy shit I just spun out
>BANG
>I get rear ended by a vw golf
>190$ ticket for failure to control
>Need new rear shocks, exhaust, tailgate, and bumper

...

>be 17
>have '99 Chrysler Concorde
>stop Laughing Veeky Forums it was $4K w/ 60Kmiles full loaded
>driving home from work
>sudden deer darts out in front
>OhShit.jpg
>Turn to avoid
>end up in ditch
>needs new front bumper
>gets towed out
>shop guy comes back
>says totaled the frame is bent
>Fuck you bambi

>Be me
>Just bought first manuel car
>driving with my mom, cause she knows how to drive it and I dont
>have to make a right turn off of the highway
>didn't know how to downshift
>took the turn at 55 mph, getting hektik across 4 lanes of traffic
>continue on like nothing happened

I could have thrown it in neutral and braked, but I don't think I was thinking clearly.

>losing control while on the togue
bet you didn't have EUROBEAT™ blaring at the time, or it wouldn't have happened.

>can't downshift
>this somehow means you can't apply brakes
get the fuck off the road

>doesn't know how to green text

Then your parking brake is electronic.

Are you autistic

>late night maccas run with some mates
>at an intersection, see a mate of mine in his black lancer
>I'm driving a Mazda Astina shitbox
>both turning right
>we're both blaring music with people in the back
>he revs
>I rev
>light turns green
>I take off as fast as I can in my shitbox
>he absolutely guns it, going around the corner with 3 people in the back
>he starts skidding, and drifts to the outside of his lane
>bang.jpg
>bent his front axle in like a motherfucker
>had to get towed
He learned his lesson at least, he's less of a hoon now.

...

Haven't been driving long, it's mostly little shit, no accidents yet (thankfully). I like to think that I'm driving better than 80% of other college kids but I don't know anymore.
>For a while the car's parking brake was acting up and the light was constantly coming on
>Seemingly random when the light would come on or turn off
>One time I pushed it down, released it, pushed it down, released it, light is still on
>Drive anyways
>"Damn, did my car always shake so violently?"
>Pull over at gas station, inspect car for something stuck in the undercarriage or fucked tires, nothing wrong.
>Car is still angrily rumbling whenever I hit 30+ mph.
>Pull over again and figure out I had the parking brake still pushed down
>tfw going 55 mph with your parking brake on
>Mechanic said nothing was wrong, just had to push the pedal up a little bit to fix it.
Lots of little things while I'm driving just because I'm retarded. I'll drive in the middle of the road, regardless of solid lines, to avoid potholes and dips. Sped through an intersection and actually went airborne for first time a month ago, head hurt for a bit after that. Haven't been pulled over yet, despite gunning yellow lights in front of cops. I picked up a dashcam recently so hopefully I'll capture some of the dumb shit I see on my daily drive every morning.
>tfw a cambered pick-up truck with underglow races a civic
I did almost rear end this car I tried taking a picture of, haven't seen it around before.

Buying a car with an electronic e-brake is where he fucked up. Seriously what the fuck.

let's see..

231

2-3-1

4 comes out of fucking nowhere and rams into 1.

what is the sign that isn't yield?

give way?


the sign for 2 is t-junction

yup, thats yield
only retards doesn't know the orders and should only be allowed to play with plastic toy cars

wtf is t-junct?

But 231 is right..

Not necessarily, it might have been part of the stability system might be part of the ABS, and if it detects the car is skidding, it does shit to make it not skid.

I'm confirming you guys answers :3

But 231 is right..

pls be joking

o ok then

there is an exact replica of pic related that i drive daily, but the only sign is a stop where the yield is
i've never seen that right side up triangle before that is white

I was the 2 and a 1 ran out in front of me
>the urge to kill that prius driver
>their insurance blame me for 20% fault
>still waiting court decision

not very exciting but

>try to drift a corner on the way home one night
>forgot to turn traction control off
>car just carved corner and wobbled weird

atleast no one saw it

2 goes straight through since no stop sign
3 waits for cross traffic before turning left
1 has a yield and waits for no traffic from both directions before pulling out

You stupid nigger.

sure my sentence is confusing everyone :^)
>meant to confirm the answer is correct

If it's just your word against the cop they will always side with the cop user...

Where in Ohio lad? /OSU/ here

Veeky Forums

Mustang with a body kit lol

Get off the fucking road

> break Windows
> what is aerodynamics

y-yes

you cried because of the depreciation right?

i can almost fully guarantee that isnt true

actually yeah, what is aerodynamics?

>I'll capture some of the dumb shit I see on my daily drive every morning.

yeah maybe you'll see some autist crash into a shitstang he's trying to take a picture of