ITT: we design the car from hell

two gas tanks, one in the front and one in the rear. both get drained at the same time, keeping weight distro the same throughout race.

Literally everything is vaccum operated

hi guys i was wondering if anyone in this thread wanted some part time work as a designer

sure
these are my ideas so far. where do I pick up my check?

the paint is all lead based and magnetic
the steering rack only has 8 notches on it and you can't mount a suicide knob to the steering wheel since its ribbed.
also the steering column is non-adjustable and neither is the seat.

The car is a miata/mr2 hybrid

engine mounted in rear, front wheel drive

>vaccum operated headlights
Press a switch which activates a solenoid which actuates a diaphragm attatched to a separate electrical switch

The electrical system was designed by Germans but sourced in and installed by Brits.

automatic headlight highbeams running off of vacuum
>every time there are no cars ahead of you
>PSSSSSSH

That has a .25 liter tank and you have the option of pre mixing, so you have to carry around a jerry can or you can tick the box for out oil and fuel injection which costs an extra $2,000 and draws fuel from your main tank and oil straight from the sump so you have a maintenance free accessory and you just need to take your car in to our dealer for its monthly propulsion engine rebuild because that is sealed for life so you can't check the oil that is being used.

But we are a very reliable brand because we call you in well in advance to slap you with a $15,000 bill because we are reputable and engines are wear items

also the headlights are flip-up and the flip mechanism is on the same vacuum system, and the headlights are non-replaceable and linked so if you burn one out, you have to change the whole headlight system on both sides.

>vaccum operated throttle
Press the pedal which opens a valve creating vaccum that runs to the throttle body and actuates the ten very small butterfly valves

>mfw

the spark plugs are ran by magnetos and it has an all mechanical distributor

Cooling system designed by GM and Transmissions by Ford.

it only uses genuine Marvel Mystery Oil as the coolant.

Let Mercedes do QC

The radiator cap is at the bottom of the radiator.

axles by dodge and interior by toyota/jeep

The oil pan must be completely removed for an oil change

All internal engine components are non-servicable. Valve covers, timing cover, and oil pan are all welded to the block to prohibit access to anything. Engine replacement required for something as small as a valve adjustment.

the only way to check the oil is from a small sight glass on the oilpan which you can only see from under the car when the car is jacked up

The car is unlocked and started by voice activation, and only recognizes rural Chinese voices

Let Tesla design the battery tray.

>vehicle battery ends up fused to the chassis and entire vehicle requires replacement when battery is dead.

...

it is non-adjustable 4-link and sfa

FWD
We're all thinking it but nobody wants to say it

also its an I3 with a chevy transverse axle in it

It's assembled in a defunct Soviet era factory not in Russia

the whole dashboard is a screen and all controls including steering are controlled via touch

The air intake is mounted underneath the oil pan

>resurrect henry ford
>give him a 10 minute refresher on cars over the past 10 years
>tell him to design a 2016 engine, chassis and body for an all new ford
then scrap that car and just get regular ford employees to make a brand new car lel

You have to remove the head covers to access the spark plugs

You have to remove the intake manifold to access the head covers

it would be 100 HP detuned inline 4 on leaf springs and 4 drum brakes. it will cost 5000 dollars new. It can be ordered in any color, as long as that color is GRABBER BLUE

if you read the last sentence the joke is that whatever a fossil from the 1900's can create is on par with anything ford can create in 2016

I know, I just let my mind run wild after thinking about Ford making a modern "people's car"

So a C3 corvette? I'm serious, even the headlights like this user suggested. It is vacuum hell.

Let Microsoft design the os

Vaccuum is created by a venturi effect with reversed hood scoops that pull air out of the engine bay

A single camshaft pushes pushrods which open valves that cause a vaccuum effect that spins the triple overhead secondary camshafts

Call subaru for the ringlands

Have ferdinand porsche design a supercar chassis even though it will end up being a facelifted golf/jetta

Windows are operated by central cranks on the console that are connected to the doors by an extensive pulley system.

seatbelt is attached to the door

Some.C3s even have the windshield wipers operates by vacuum :^)

this so much

but put the transmission in the front like a backwards 944

also use only mid 1970's Lucas electrics, preferably pulled from any british leyland car of that era.

It has a front bench seat with rear bucket seats

jesus christ

FWD

Wheel wells slightly too small so with new tires the tread scrapes on the inside before the steering hits full lock.

If your tires are worn it's no problem though.

>made by gm
>used to be v8 and rwd
>now is fwd econobox with a 4 cylinder or underpowered v6
>chrysler or gm quality (they're both equally shitty)

W12 with 10 of the pistons missing

The transmission is mounted by the rear drive wheels, making the drive shaft spin at the engine's RPM constantly before reaching the clutch

No hole to put the tow hook in.
Thin and expensive windshield that breaks while hitting potholes.

>Windows are operated by central cranks on the console that are connected to the doors by an extensive pulley system.
Oh dear.

Rear steer, outboard powered boat style. There's a lever you pull side to side instead of a steering wheel.

so basically a corvette

Reciprocating ball type steering with turns a smaller steering wheel connected to a non power rack an pinion setup. It will have solid rubber wheels on wood l alloy rims. for security purposes the steering lock is too vacuum operated.

A/C climate control does not allow setting up the temp.
Automatically set up at 120F/48C in summer and -40C/F in winter

Instead of freeon, A/C is cooled by an ice chest in the glove box. The glove box has a drip valve so that the melting ice has a place to go.

>RHD
>reverse pattern valve body automatic, without reverse pattern shifter.
>Transmission takes years to shift at full throttle and slams into every gear at anything under 75%
>brakes are electric, booster units are only special order from the dealer.
>Half metric half standard on every bolt in the car
>all bolts have triple square heads of different sizes
>6v electric system
>engine is inset so far into the body that you have to take the engine out to remove the valve covers
>trans tunnel is so close to the transmission you have to cut access holes in the floor to remove the bellhousing bolts.
>exhaust is routed through the cab
>Wiring is all the same color for every wire
>Rear end is a dana 25 front end is from an f body camaro
>sway bars on front and back are so stiff they lift the opposite wheel when going in and out of driveways
>battery replacement requires entire front end removal

Stanced from the factory

H-pattern automatic

The shifter is also an E-cigarette

That narrows branding to BMW.

drum brakes all around using the retarded single spring design GM came up with that requires either 2 people, or a special tool to service.

>Put it in H!

I do this all the time by myself, git gud.

This is sounding dangerously like a 4th gen F-body.

>front end is from an f body camaro
welp

Normal drunk brakes are cake. Take a closer look at that picture. You'll notice everything is held in place by one horse-shoe shaped "spring". Getting it off is easy. Putting it back on? nightmare fuel.

>drunk
Drum. ducking autocorrect.

It's difficult yes, but nowhere near nightmare fuel.

>radiator cooled through heater vents in car
>bmw grill on front
>flat iron hood

Cars might be like that one day. "Oh yeah, electric motors and drivetrains etc. are impossible to repair because when one part shorts the whole thing shorts"

The car has a single-point EFI system with no built-in ECU : data from the sensors is refreshed at a 10 Hz rate and then sent by AM signal to a single Amstrad CPC in a basement on Tuvalu. It then sends back the FI sequence signal with a 56k modem back to the car.

>car will not start unless you have one hand on the steering wheel, your foot on the brake, handbrake on, gear in P, door shut, and seatbelt clicked in
>If the car is turned on, a loud repetitive beep sounds if you don't have at least one hand on the steering wheel, or you undo your seatbelt (even stationary in park)

sounds like any recent car

I maxed out the 'want to kill yourself' levels though

3 speed manual tranmission that automatically shifts by an small electronic crane that is holding on to the shift knob.

Image a crane similar to the claw game that grabs the shift knob and changes the gears for you with a small delay.

Or it's locked by an electronic lock that only dealers have access to. These locks are finicky and tend to fail often. And by failure I mean they seize up often.

Electronic handbrake that can only be used when the car is not moving

It beeps a lot if it detects you aren't buckled up.
It beeps a lot if you leave the lights on.
It beeps a lot if you don't turn the lights on.
It beeps a lot if it detects you aren't sitting square in the seat and has a pressure sensor for each buttock (American models have just one big sensor).
It beeps a lot if you park at an odd incline.
The steering wheel locks up if you park an an odd incline.

Fucking Nissan

Here you go

he said from hell not heaven

This, but steering is controlled the same way.

ford transmission failures arnt as common as people think they are. ford disables automatic transmissions if the CEL comes on.

All engine accessory replacement (AC compressor ps pump alternator etc) require engine removal. There's a hack involving removing the radiator and bumper cover though

Fix
Ot
Rgain
Dony

Heh heh heh

Fix
Or
Repair
Daily

EVERYTHING made from plastic

Found
On
Road
Dead

Except for useless stuff, like caps and buttons are made of carbon fiber.

NO! let saab do the transmissions

Failed
On
Race
Day

>InB4 "nah user it be 1st"

No, cooling system by BMW and transmission by Chrysler. Interior by GM circa 1992. Fuel tank designed and installed by Ford circa pinto days