As you sit in your local Starbucks sipping your grande latte macchiatto and reading Das Kapital...

As you sit in your local Starbucks sipping your grande latte macchiatto and reading Das Kapital, you are approached by this man, who demands that you pay jizya lest you recieve nothing but the sword. How do you.solve this situation through Hegelian dialectics?

But the internet told me Sikhs were bros!

I tell this sikh man that I saw some faggot shitposting on Veeky Forums with his picture

that's sikh turban and that sword is indian talwar

I detonate my concealed bomb vest, injuring many and killing a couple.

I pay my legitimate taxes of course. This fine Muslim fellow is just doing his job.

Prep the bull of course

I would argue that it would be wrong for him to demand this payment according to the laws of the land. He would reply that he is honor bound to collect it due to his religion. Then by discourse we would discuss the consequences of payment versus not payment, and eventually conclude that due to the circumstances I would not pay and he would not try to kill me would result in the most mutually beneficial situation.

Wrong answer.

You just got your head cut off in the middle of Starbucks.

I'd alert the constabulary and watch as the fair hard of justice does its job.

Ah ah not so fast, the Hegelian Dialectic presupposes both parties are interested in pursuing a mutual agreement of truth through reasoned argument.

we have a good laugh the man is clearly a sikh yanking my chain...

"My condolences"
*teleports behind him*
"But I'm fast"
*teleports back in front of him*
"And you're already dead"
*Muslim oppressor's upper torso slowly slides off*

ALLAHU ACKBAR

I pick up on his notion of "nothing but the sword" as he seems to not have considered what this means. The "nothing" is clearly the entry point into our logical perception as, in fact, it, within itself, it contains "being" or more precisely "Sein". This "Sein" however is empty and without boundary, which makes it indistinguishable from the "nothing", the "Nichts". Having established these two categories of "Sein" and "Nichts" I would point out that their distinctness in connection with their inseperability implies constant "motion", "Bewegung", between the two in the form of "becoming", "Entstehen" and "dissolving", "Vergehen". These two however are again directionless, as "Nichts" and "Sein" are, as we would have established before indistinguishable. So I would explain to him that they essentially come to rest in "becoming", "Werden" and then punch him in the face and run away while masturbating furiously.

>Awright m8 yer under arrest for racism

Christ is that really Hegel? How do people unironically think this word salad has meaning?

It's my shitty reproduction of Hegel, to be fair. And there is some meaning withing Hegel. It's just insanely hard to extract from his writings.

I would tell that fine sikh about a sharia zone and we would go kill all of the muzzies

>ISIS-tier Muslim Caliphate where infidels have to pay taxes
>Starbucks is allowed to run
>You can get Das Kapital and can read it in public without being arrested
>Sikhs are tasked with collecting jizya, probably the last religious group Muslims would trust with a job like that.

What a bizarre scenario you got there OP.

Toronto, Ontario.

'Racism' isn't a specific offence in law, officer. Give me your badge number, I will be suing your force for wrongful arrest and pursuing a complaint with the IPCC.

t. Lives in browntown

>get shot
Land of the free, home of the brave
Truley

>Oi 'ats it yew cheeky cunt!

What's haram about Starbucks (other than potentially the logo used in the West)?

10/10 dialectic triad in motion, Zeitgeist finally absolute.

I would pay the tax in that moment. Soon after I would organize my fellow Christian brothers into an orderly militia to remove kebab.

>How do you.solve this situation through Hegelian dialectics?

>Solve
Kek

But I assume you are just asking how does your dialectical idea win

The actual answer is with a gun

As Hegel would have said in times of physical conflict

Borrow his phone to call Zizek on how to solve it instead.

Shoot him in the knee cap

Thesis: I'm reading and enjoying "coffee."
Antithesis: This guy working for the local government wants my money for not sharing his religion.
Synthesis: I'm reading and enjoying coffee, only poorer now.

>Sikh
>jizya

he's making a joke

Didn't Hegel just state the absolutely obvious and hide the banality of it behind the aforementioned word salad?

I introduce him to Pokemon Go, and sneak away as he finds a new obsession.

...

>sikh
>Muslim
So the joke is that a lot of people on Veeky Forums are retarded and don't actually know what they're talking about? Or is this an attempt to weed out the /pol/tards from this board?

It's an ancient /int/ joke but I wouldn't expect redditors to know that

Obviously pay him.

I don't want to be called out for racism, cultural insensitivity and religious intolerance by not allowing him to practice the rules of this religion.

Grab my CC gun and shoot him.

That's Sikh you dumbass

Isn't that guy a Sikh?

What are you gonna do? Stab me?

>Deus vult

I'd slit his throat with the most recent vinyl reissue of Free Jazz by Ornette Coleman

But what could be a more reasoned argument than 'submit to the will of Allah'?
Contradicting Mohammed (PBUH) is the definition of unreasonableness
You are forgetting that the Holy Qu'ran is literal truth