GET OUT OF THE CAR CUNT

fart

What's the maintenance costs?

I drive a Mercedes W220.
I would gladly get out of the car and thank the robber for taking this burden off my shoulders.

send it to me m8 so's i can rally it

>grab gun
>shoot self out of adrenaline rush

Well if the SLS starts leaking again, that will be 1800€ for a piece and there's two of them. That's if you do the labour yourself.

See those spark plugs and wires? Me neither.
The alternator belt is starting to develop a slight whine. Guess where that is.

I wanted a 750il, that thing has 2 AC compressors, 2 alternators and so on.

>roll up the windows and go

fuck that

v12 is hot but fuck that

he's on the wrong side of the car, wait for him to go around and haul ass in the opposite direction while he's walking and not paying complete attention to you. hopefully not get shot.

Im a career magician but I went to school for mechanical engineering and my dad owns a whole list of specialized machine shops. Inventing new concealed weapons is my hobby. I'd have taken his gun and stabbed him three times without his notice while pulling a parachute out of my nose.

Want to hear something even better? One of the most common reasons this thing kicks in limp mode is not even because of the engine. it's because the electronics work through the gauge cluster or some shit, there's this one tiny soldered spot that is bound to fail due age. Your car might kick in limp mode or not work at all, just because of that tiny solder giving up.
The thing will not give any sort of fault code or anything and the soldered spot is behind miles and miles of harness.

holy fuck it hurts just looking at that and imaging myself working on it.

Cool car for the outsider, but it must be HELL maintaining that thing.

How the fuck do you even access the spark plugs? Are they under the black BMW cover?
It looks like to take that off, you'd need to take off that tank(?) sitting ontop of it at the windshield.

Fuck.

Why do Germans feel the need to overengineer everything?

laugh and drive off, my cars worth less than his gun and he knows it.

Step out, walk away, then come back in about 20 minutes after he has given up trying to drive it because lol manual and lol most car jackers can't drive manual.
If he did know how how though I'd probably just buy another car with my insurance dollars without getting too upset over it.

BUT since this is Veeky Forums
Draw my concealed (anal carry is best carry) Deagle brand Deagle , and turn his head into read mist.

>cc's a deagle

Have fun holding your pants up 24/7

Easy. Well assuming he's just a thug and and didn't already shoot me, I'll put me hands up, he'll probably force me out of the car. Then when he's getting in the car I draw my Glock lol9mm 42 and magdump. I mean i don't know if I would try and draw with a gun to my head. I would have to be in the situation to know. Besides that this is a case of situational awareness failing you because you should notice the nigger walking up to your window. I've had to do it a few times in Philly where I'm at a light and a less than desirable walks towards my window either asking for change or something else. They get drawn on fuck you I'm not letting you rob me.

>get out and let him in
>proceed to watch him fail to drive a manual

Then you get shot when you attempt to go for your gun while he still has it pointed at you. Dumbfuck.

Where did this meme that people who steal cars can't drive manual? Where is this statistic? Do you honestly believe that people who thieve vehicles for a living and work on cars all the time can only steal automatics? I've said this before; every car/motorcyle theif I've ever known is a civic rice fag that drives manual.

Most cars on the street worth taking are manual anyways, why would a professional thief cut out most of his opportunity. General population statistics do not correlate with specific subjects like this.

That's like saying "99% of the population can't properly strap down loads on a flatbed" so then you assume that 99% of truck drivers can't strap down flat bed loads.

So he's leaning in the passenger side. You have to get out of the driver's side. He either gets into the passenger seat and shifts into the driver seat or has to walk around the car to get in the driver's seat. You don't think in that time there won't be an opportunity to draw on him?

Draw my katana and cut his gun in half. Then I build up boost and let off the throttle so the BOV goes off just before I say "Nothing personnel, kid"

>professional thief
if they were really pro they wouldn't car jack though

Professional meaning they do it for money.

ok yeah but it depend on what kinda cars they targets really most highend sports cars are automatics nowaday

So what I can sell a drawing of a penis I made for $1 but that doesn't make me a professional artist.

professional
a person competent or skilled in a particular activity.
"she was a real professional on stage"
synonyms: expert, virtuoso, old hand, master, maestro, past master; More
antonyms: amateur

Your idea of "worth taking" and what is actually worth taking is very different. Stealing an actual expensive car is very risky because the money isn't in selling whole cars, it's selling the parts. A Lamborghini, or even a higher end Merc part out would draw way too much attention.

esurance.com/info/car/top-10-most-commonly-stolen-cars

They're all very nondescript, and most lack manual options.

I'll correct myself: some lack manual options, but most are sold without.

Why would he shoot you?

>what are belts
sure is dumb 'o' clock right now

I don't think he would have the gun pointed at him 100% of the time unless he's a robot.

>squeeze gun against your fat
>implying you can bend
>implying your fat roll won't pull the trigger
>implying you can get it out when you need it

>sure is dumb 'o' clock right now
You can say that again.

>all this projecting
Man you get real angry when people call you out. Everything ok at home? Wanna talk about it?

>GET OUT OF THE CARCUNT
>no u
>pull out my conceal carry taser and stun him
>press the close window button quickly a few times so it's faster
>window closes, crushing his forearm and holding him up
>gun drops down inside the car
>he's held by his neck by the window with legs still on the ground
>look him in the eyes
>smug face
>after a few seconds scream at the top of my lungs
>GET OUT ME CAR
>put it in first gear and burn out, smoke coming from the front wheels chokes him further
>press a button on the steering wheel
>MAX POWER, MAXIMUM
>169 shots of nitrous oxide
>vtec kicks in
>drive up to a river, jump out of the car and drown my car with him still stuck
Shouldn't have fucked with a civic owner

Anal carry bro, keep the asshole tight and you don't have to worry about pants sagging.
>reading comprehension

>get out
>he gets in the driver seat
>lean in close and whisper in his ear "I drive"
>stab his face with my tire iron
>reelhumanbeen.mp4

Get out and tell him to make sure it's totaled before he leaves it

Insured for double what i paid master race

lol i bet you don't even cc

That's why he anal carrys.

Duh

Fuck get out and let him have it, won't get far when the key gets out of range anyhow. I've seen in person what a .45 does to a skull, no thanks.

>you can have it
>get out
>call police
>oh no my precious car has been stolen
>little does he know that it will kill him
>around right hand corners it goes dorifto for no reason
>rear shock strut is completely fucked
>so is the sway bar
>he writes it off
>it is insured for $35,000
>its worth maybe $17,000 if i sold it
>mfw

Doesn't matter what style you train
Doesn't matter how many people you are fighting at once
Doesn't matter if you train for the streets, train for sports, or train.
Doesn't matter how big or expensive your gun or knife is.
Nothing beats a well placed pipebomb.
Why waste hundreds of dollars and hours of your time with the risk of hurting yourself while you practice when you could make a pipebomb over night for about 40 bucks. All you have to do is google free pipebomb recipes, go to your kitchen or bathroom sink. Maybe go to Lowes or Wal-Mart. And you can make a device that will instill more fear and harm more people then any style, weapon or workout routine.

The fight doesn't magically end. There are no time limits in the street. The fight ends when you want it to end. If someone confronts you, retreat, regroup, its a viable tactic. Follow your enemy find out their daily routine to work, to school, to the grocies. Exploit them when their guard is down. Just like how they were trying to exploit you. Now google free pipebomb recipes, assemble your pipebomb. And plant the pipebomb on the side of the road or at an intersection you know they will drive through. There's reason why people such as soldiers who are better armed, better equipped and better trained than any martial artist or fighter fears improvised explosive devices such as a pipebomb. All that training, all that knowledge is out the window when blind-sided by a pipebomb. Thinking a street fight is just a fight will get you killed. A street fight is a personal war on your well being. The first person to do the most horrible thing wins. If they try to out muscle you, you punch them, they try to punch you, you stab them, they take out a knife, you shoot them with your gun, they take out a gun you blow them up with a pipebomb.

Nothing beats one.

Get out of the car and never ever visit the U.S. again.

Well, at least I won't get bored easy

Uhh, they're in the same place as in any normal i6 car, on the side of the block. Under that black plastic BMW cover are the injectors and the headers that go across each other.
Plugs are basically under the headers, under all those oil and fluid reservoirs and under everything else, on the side of the blocks.

Because MUH RELIABILITY. The M70 V12 engine is basically two straight six blocks sharing a crank. So there's two throttles, two ecus, two whatever the fuck is needed for a regular i6 engine to work.

brazil*

I Kek'd

>wat do oh?
I have full Onstar services. I call the company and say it was hijacked. The car dies on them in a few minutes.

Most Effective Scenario for CarJacker:
a. Get Out of Car Cunt
b. Carjacker Shoots Owner Dead To Prevent Disabling
c. Profit

With the Three Strikes laws out there mandating life imprisonment as a minimum sentence, the criminal might as well kill you. And lots of them do things to avoid 3 Strikes in my area. Among them:
a. Cut your eyes in places where they can't approach you with a mask on (has been done multiple times)
b. Poke your eyes out (has been done multiple times)
c. Tie up victim and pour battery acid in eyes (only two such so far in past 2 years, so not really done, mentioned her for completeness)
d. Tie up victim then choke them dead
e. Shoot them dead
f. Stabbing victim dead

For fear of copycat crimes, the newspaper and TV will not publicize the blindings. The few times it did, there were huge numbers of complaints saying it would only cause copycats because it was effective in preventing witnesses. Black Lives Matter followers are probably spreading the info because 100% of all the blinding type crimes are caused by criminals from two minorities.

>But Sir, that gun s probably worth more than this car

This. Take the keys out as you're getting out and he'll probably start yelling to give him the keys. Throw them past him, he most likely won't shoot unless he's really deranged. If he turns to get them, reach into center console, grab gun and go pop pop pop

Eh, I don't have much to lose. I'd just floor it.

id suck your dick.

is that the response you wanted?

W220's are GOAT though
except for ABC
and engine mounts
and idler pulleys
and transmission conductor plates
and crank sensors

These americans with trump butt plug up their ass shoot around people just for fun.

Get out and laugh while they fail to drive a stick. Even if successful I'll have my remote start key shoved up my pooper so when they drive off the car will stall/die away from me while I'm laughing my ass off calling the local 5-0.

I think you mean shillary dindus. Trump supporters at least know proper trigger discipline and to fire at center mass.

My dad drives this back in Germany and he doesn't have any complain of it. He bought it in 2005 and loves it.

> FUCK YOU
> Smack him in the face because he's on the driver's side
> Drive off, putting the window up as I go
> Phone the police once I'm free.

No time or room for a weapon, so my fist will do. Otherwise, I'm in a car.

You hit five innocent bystanders, and are on trial for murder.

Daily reminder Omar Mateen was a registered Democlap.

>You hit five innocent bystanders, and are on trial for murder.
no.

People can't remember license plate numbers when they fucking tailgate how you think they gonna see them while i'm speeding away also
>implying there are bystanders.

It's a stick shift, phaggot. Carjacking foiled.

>implying there are bystanders.
Implying you leave any bystanders alive.

>2+ Ton truck
vs
>manlet robber

I wonder what'll win. I don't even need to pull my gun, just hit the gas and drive off/run him over.

Step out and let him take it. Its insured, and I'm not taking a bullet for an 18 year old rusty Mercedes

A bomb is a poor choice for close range combat.

The motors in my window are fucking huge and can raise the window in under a second. I didn't even install them in case a thief decides to put his arm through them, just wanted fast windows.

The car itself is very comfy and it drives very well, but pre-lift ones rust almost as much as W210s do and they're very expensive to maintain, especially if anything happens to the suspension.

>say the car thief

With Allah on my side I dont have to worry.

...

>live in America
"Want me to teach you how to drive manual first?"

Yeah but no..

Maybe you could just place explosives in your car attached to a car phone.

And a camera.

...make a speed sequel.

So you can phone your car jacker.

Wait no, that's not how it goes.

Get out of the car. The average thug doesn't know how to work the a stickshift.

*gets out of car

I live in Canada where hadnguns are banned

Handguns aren't banned you tard.

t. RPAL/PAL holder

It's because of South African drivers defending that caused South African carjackers to kill the driver at the start.of the robbery.

.

>grab gun and go pop pop pop
Actually, if you have the chance to run away, but choose to stay and kill him, you have a proven chance of losing the court case. Both self defense and murder is based upon why the person makes an attack choice. If the plaintiff brings up racist "kill the perp" remarks by you in past internet posts, this would show your decision to kill was not self defense but desire to commit aggravated assault. Since the black person died, you could be convicted of murder.

.

In the city of Johannesburg south Africa, carjackings were so common that there would be thousands of carjackers per year. The huge crime rate occurred during the demise of apartheid (white rule) of south africa. High violent crime rates continues to this day.

Because of that, a flame thrower car defense mod called "The Blaster" was made is still legal to this day to use. Even the chief of police put one on his own car. The Blaster mod retails for $690 in 1999 dollars. Link to video demonstration of The Blaster at the wikipedia site. Other videos at youtube courtesy of owners.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blaster_(flamethrower)

South Africa:
Ulf Gunther never leaves his driveway without stashing a bottle of brandy laced with cyanide in his glove compartment, just in case he runs into a carjacker. It's what he calls his "small solution" to the scourge of violent car theft in South Africa. "If hijackers get my car, they'll go through the glove box, find the bottle and maybe drink it. They won't get very far then," snickers the 56-year-old chemical engineer. "I know it's probably illegal, but so is thieving and carjacking." The inspiration for Mr. Gunther's poison ploy came to him 18 months ago after a gang of black children tried to steal his car near his house.

i would floor it into the nearest side swipeable thing

Haha, this post cracked me up.

Not him but can you actually own guns there? What are the restrictions?

Gunther's a real G

>south africa

yeah, no

>Alright, Alright!
>Open door, draw CC as I get out
>Stand up, spin around and shoot him
Alternatively, grab his gun and punch him in the face, since there's no mag in it.

Get out of the car
Be thankful to him for stealing
Tell insurance my 100$ shitbox got stolen, get good cash.

Canada has a pretty high gun ownership.

You can own almost any gun, but no suppressors and we don't have as arbitrary gun length restrictions like the US does. Rifles are limited to 5 rounds, handguns to 10. Rifles that take handgun mags are permitted to use the 10 round mags.

We are overflowing with Chinese and Russian surplus due to lax import laws unlike the US.

>Actually, if you have the chance to run away, but choose to stay and kill him, you have a proven chance of losing the court case.

Glad to live in a state where you can stand your ground. As long as you feel that your life or the life of another is in serious and immediate danger you can use force necessary to defend yourself.

Trust in allah, but still remember to tie up your camel

Ask him if he can drive a manual and because I'm in burgerland he of course can't

Everyone saying they'd draw a firearm needs to take a fucking firearms self defense course. Drawing on a drawn gun will end in disaster everytime unless you have some sort of concealment or body armor. NEVER draw on a draen gun unless your locked, cocked, and ready to go, and the assailant DOES NOT see you draw.
Vid related

youtu.be/2ClstuTYGFE

Sure thing buddy.
Do you know how to drive stick? No? Oh my...

>My mother was about twenty and had borrowed her father’s car to go to a party. Around midnight, after dropping off the last of her friends, she stopped at a red light. Suddenly, a man jumped into the front seat and held a gun to her head, ordering her to keep driving. My mother didn’t scream, didn’t panic. She followed his instructions, which were to keep driving in no particular direction. After a while, she finally took a good look at her abductor and realized this fearsome gunman was actually a malnourished, scared, and exhausted young man. Maybe he was a drug addict— it’s hard to say. He was certainly desperate. Eventually, he asked Georgette to surrender the car. She was quiet for a few seconds, and then simply replied, “I can’t do that. If I don’t bring the car home, my father will kill me. And I think I’d rather you do it than him.” That was not the answer he was looking for.

>My mother then began a conversation with the man.

>“What could be so wrong with your life,” she asked, “that you would think this is the answer?” The man didn’t reply. She began wearing down his resolve and dissipating his anger by telling him that if he killed her, he would ruin not only his own life and hers, but her father’s, too, because he would die of heartbreak. My mother always had a way with lost souls. Not necessarily ones with guns, but still, people rarely ruffled her feathers. Along an abandoned street, the gunman motioned for her to pull over, fished out forty dollars from her wallet, and left. My mother drove home slowly, her nerves, which had been steely and calm, dissolved into shakes and shudders. By the time she got home, she could barely feel her legs.