Automobile Bathroom Emergencies

>eat a toastada for lunch
>notbad.jpg
>20 minutes passes, driving home
>stomach starts hurting
>ohshitneedbathroom.jpg
>drive really fast
>hetikk skidz toward house
>sweating.jpg
>farts leaking
>make it home
>run for the door
>fumble for the keys while flexing my ass muscles to keep it in
>run to bathroom and unload on my unsuspecting toilet
>shit immediately starts, solid at first
>midway through gets increasingly wet
>first log plops down
>log two begins
>quickly becomes a jetstream of shit spraying all over the bowl
>ass covered in shit particles from the backsplash
I'm going to refrain from toastadas for a while. What a mess.

Times you've been out in your car and had to take a shit stories? Pee or puke also would be good.

I used to get car sick really badly as a kid. I've thrown up twice before the age of 13 that I can remember right now, and there must be many many more instances of me vomiting.

I'm 20 now, don't really get car sick any more unless I'm using my phone out reading something


Very Veeky Forums related captcha

Is that what triggers getting car sick? reading and looking down? I've heard other people say that before. It's the motion in the peripheral or something?

Why didn't you just stop somewhere along the way?

>At a wedding
>Eat some of the Hors d'oeuvres
>decide to leave early because I don't know this person very well or many people here and I'm getting bored
>get in the car
>stomach hurts, think nothing of it
>home is an hour away
>start driving, listening to the radio, having a nice time
>suddenly hear my stomach make that sound, kind of like when you put a shitbox in reverse
>then feel something move
>oh shit (literally)
>suddenly all of the world's shit wants to escape my anus
>i'm not in the city yet, fuck
>grab my phone and tell siri to find a petrol station
>make 4 wrong turns because sat nav and phone are giving me wrong directions
>find a station, burst in
>someone is in the queue
>wait until i can finally ask the attendant to open the bathrrom
>he seems reluctant
>seriously dude just do it
>spend the best part of an hour in there
>there is so much shit that some of it gets on the rim where the flush cant reach and on my ass
>have a really long shower when I get home

Gas stations are terrifying places to stop. Plus half the time they are closed or have no bathroom for the public or whatever else, the one time you really need to go.

Then when you do get into the bathroom, it's absolutely disgusting and you leave with an STD if your penis accidentally hits the toilet. Better hope they have lots of paper to make a paper safety seat.

story of my fucking life

i'm a heavy equipment operator with bowel disease

shit's awesome

fuckin captcha knows

what third world shit hole do you live in?

i haven't seen a gross gas station bathroom since the 90s

Initially when I was young, I couldn't tell you what set me off. Partly because I don't remember, and partly because I never read in the car.
Might be just motion sickness I don't really get any more.


But yeah using my phone as a passenger is still guaranteed to make me feel at least queasy within 5 mins regardless of the conditions

America. I think the 90s is the last time I've shit in one. I think if I was far from home I'd look for a Burger King or McDonalds.

I think so. You're focusing on an immobile object but you have the sensation of motion.

I get carsick, but only in the backseat. Idk why. I can ride shotgun without a problem unless it's a long drive, and I can drive forever without a single complaint from my stomach.

I don't see many awful ones these days, especially if it's somewhere off of an interstate, highway, or some other high traffic area. However, the other day I stopped at a gas station in a lower traffic area and it was pretty awful.

It depends, if it's one where the attendant has to open the door with a key then yes, the bathroom is going to be awful

Hard to know that when driving up to it, other than just making sure not to go to a super small one. I think fast food restaurants are safer places to stop for a shit, if possible.

>visiting my friend at uni
>stay overnight
>next day, eat breakfast at the dining hall right before leaving for a 1 h ~30m drive back home
>bad fucking idea
>less than a quarter of the way feel the sensation of having to take a messy diarrhea shit
>pedal to the floor for a while
>hit traffic, bad accident on the parkway
>about to be another bad accident in my fucking jeans
>sit in stop and go traffic for 30 minutes while wanting to die
>finally free, WOT on the way home
>unbutton my jeans, begin to accept the realization that I might have to shit in my car
>pull into the driveway and jump out, don't even bother to turn off the car
>fumble with the keys, almost shit myself right then and there
>as soon as my ass hovers over the bowl, the floodgates open
I'm never eating dining hall food ever again.

>be mexican
>used to mexican food OP's bitch stomach can't handle
>go to white friend's house for dinner
>she serves some meatloaf and a weird ass casserole that tasted like garbage but I had to finish to be polite
>take a shit like I've been drinking mexican tap water for days

>begin to accept the realization that I might have to shit in my car
Would be terrifying. I don't even know what would happen. I'm guessing even jeans it would leak through and ruin the seats. Cloth would be fucked, leather might be okay...

here you go
Don't eat lactose if you can't handle it
>be me about a year ago
>drive 7 tons for a moving company
>need to shit at like 3 pm, but I don't use customers bathroom as she was hot
>1hr later, omw home in the 7ton,buddy asks me to drive him home
>fuck, say okay, gotta b a shop bathroom I can use after I drop him off
>turns out he lives out in the sticks
>drop him at the end of his road as it's too muddy to drive down.
>fuck can't use his shitter if I stand up I'll shit like right away
>panicking now, strange rumbles are coming from my bowels, can no longer trust farts
>searching for anywhere with a shitter
>I see a taco del mar far on the horizon
>like porcelain oiasis in an un-shittable desert
>park in a handycap spot, will b handicapped by the time this is over anyway
> insides began to cramp and gurgle, I knew the time was coming
>fucking dairy man
>I realize I might not make it
>sprint through taco del mar while shamelessly holding my ass
>Two feet from the door my steel ring of an anus has a moment of weakness, and a golf ball sized leak of molten shit falls out of my shorts onto the ground in front of the bathroom
>no time
>run into bathroom, and as I spin around and whip my shorts off at lightening speed my anus can no longer handle the stress of holding back an entire pepperoni pizza
>shit began streaming out of me, into the toilet, onto the toilet, around the side of the toilet
>the damage is done to my shorts and to the toilet
>I accept my fate and sit down, curled over in terrible pain and half covered in shit
>spend almost 45 minutes cleaning bathroom and myself, (and shorts). I just threw out my underwear
>they knocked on the door twice
>when I left in my freshly (hand soap) washed shorts there was a lady mopping up the shit I had left outside the door
>I will never forget that look of bewildered disgust
>shamefully walk to my truck and leave, never to return
And that's the day I started eating balanced meals

>Don't eat lactose if you can't handle it

I don't seem to be this bad, like if I have a large pizza I just get the farts regardless of toppings or sauce

Milk or milkshakes though... hell no

probably the butter or oil in the casserole. casseroles are fucking disgusting.

Yeah, I'm OK if I have it with some fibre. If I stabilize my system with some greens it turns out OK. My overall diet was very unhealthy back then.
I can handle a pizza now

>lactose
for sure, today I had a huge explosive shit and I think it's because I had a latte someone kind of forced on me. a cup of whole milk was probably in the thing and I never drink milk.

>And that's the day I started eating balanced meals
careful, I did that and now whenever I get stuck in some restaurant that doesn't have anything healthy I get the shits because my body isn't used to all the sugar and garbage most people eat.

Imagine that same feeling except you are trying to pass a phys 2 exam at 8am and it just started.

pull over and shit on the ground yo, what's up with you guys?

>Be me
>Driving back from parent's house, 6 hour trip
>We went to a dodgy looking curry house for lunch prior to me driving home
>Casually cruising down the motorway, Spotify playing from my phone
>Suddenly I get a bad feeling from my stomach
>Full on vibrations and groaning from my stomach
>At this point in time it's about 11pm at night in the darkness of the winter months
>I pull into the first petrol station I come up to
>I frantically run to the store in search of a toilet to relieve the pressure in my stomach
>I must have looked pretty crazy so the clerk doesn't let me in
>At this point I get very pissed off
>I stride into the middle of the fore court, take my trousers off and let a river of shit burst from my ass
>Even though it feels like a stream of fire, I make direct eye contact with the clerk
>He looks on in horror as a puddle of shit begins to form around my feet
>Maintaining eye contact, I wipe my ass with a paper towel from the pumps
>Get back in my car and carry on with my journey

This one still gives me shivers

>Inna job, heading to meet a customer
>co-worker driving company truck
>late in evening, we decide to eat dinner before we continue
>know all the restaurants in the area that are safe for me to eat in and pick one closest to us
>pull in and sit down, have a Reuben sandwich which I've had countless times before without any problems
>finish diner and head to the traffic asshole of the world, NYC
>feel belly rumble as soon as we get back on the road
>NotTakingAChanceNigga.exe
>pull at gas station and have a refreshing normal shit
>feelin much better we roll again
>finally get on the GW bridge when belly rumbles begin again
>quickly disregard as normal movements
>as we begin to enter NYC, rumbles turns to pain and pressure
>oh fuck no, pls no
>have to shit again
>co-worker is yapping away at something nobody gives a fuck
>shitting pains intensify
>we are easily 1:45 ETA to our destination
>Company issued GPS is being good and keeping us moving
>co-worker decides to take his own route
>tell him no, follow GPS as it is doing a fine job
>"you kids don't know what's good"
>takes exit and all clusterfuck begins
>ask him to find a place as I need to shit
>"but you just took a shit"
>dude, just do it man
>as it is NYC, no places to shit
>co-worker gets us lost somewhere in the most ghetto of places
>FUCK YOU OLD MAN
>shitting pains come and go
>little relief from tiny farts but can feel my colon playing tricks on me
>asshole is being a bro holding back the shit
>we finally get back on the highway when
>fucking Yankees game was over
>literally the whole goddamn highway is a parking lot

Cont

...

>red lights as far as the eye can see with no viable way to go around
>have never experienced hoplesness in that level as I did that day
>thinking "I will shit my pants today"
>making things worse co-working road raging with other drivers
>asshole bro begins to quake over the immense pressure
>have little moments of weakness but asshole bro manages to stay put
>every little thing is a life and death struggle
>shut off the AC, and turn down the radio
>feel every bit of Acceleration and braking and take every drop of will power not to shit myself
>continue like this for 1 hr
>finally traffic clears and we get on the Long Island express way on our way to the east Hampton
>still could not find any toilets
>for a while pain and pressure recede only to come back with a vengeance
>I'm literally bargaining with my colon to hold it and pleading wi asshole bro to do this one thing for me
>after we get to where customer is
>jump out of the truck limping, can't walk straight
>see the finish line ahead and hope comes back
>this is where the final battle is fought
>get extreme pressure to shit
>nearly feel to my knees from pain
>run to the toilet as fast as physically possible not to shit myself
>finally see that porcelain bastard I've been yearning to see
>as I begin to lower my pants and myself I realize I'm out of time
>asshole bro lets go
>as in some sort of synchronized movement
>as my pants barely clear my asshole and my ass points towards the toilet, this jet of shit comes out of my ass
>I am spraying the bowl with liquid rancid smelling shit
>the relief is immense
>better than any feeling in this world I've experienced to this day
>luckily, shit is contained in bowl and courtesy flush 3 times to keep toilet from clogging

After that shit I feel child birth would be a walk in the park for me, I would not even in a million years wish this to my worst enemy.

topkek I want to believe this happened.

That's hard to do in a city. I guess I'd do it if I could find a spot and it was my only option. Better than shitting my pants, I'd be afraid of getting caught though and thrown in jail.

i once had to take a shit in a box outside while installing a cellular communicator in the middle of nowhere, i had to mcdoubles and a mountain dew

it was so awful

did you have toilet paper?

I remember when I was like 9 my mom was in the front seat eating some two-week-old chicken salad she found in the back of the fridge. I was really convinced it was rancid but my dad, having been the one who made it, refused to believe that his cooking could be so awful that it was making me gag just smelling it, even with the goddamn windows down. After about 5 minutes I straight up puked all over the back seat and neither of my parents even believed that I actually did until they got out and saw it. But at least I proved his chicken salad REALLY IS that bad.

>two-week-old chicken salad
chicken makes me nervous. I'd only keep fresh chicken (uncooked) from a store for like 3 days before cooking, and after cooked maybe another 2 days. That's it. I'd rather just go to the store more often than risk it.

no it was on the side of a locked building all by myself

truck smelled for like a week

damn man that's awful. I carry a microfiber clothe in my car, for just wiping stuff off. I guess i'd have used that for me ass in a similar situation.


I know lots of girls carry wet wipes in their purse, those lucky bastards.

I keep a roll of 3-ply toilet paper from home in my car, as well as a package of moist wipes.

I have not had a bathroom emergency yet that involved anything other than finding a close business and using their toilet.

Shit storm? Bring it on.