Close door

>implying any of my latch Assembly's work and I can open a door.
We dukes of hazard now.
Luckily I have a dei alarm and window modules so I can roll them up/down with my remote...

>new alternator provides car with 16 steady volts

>close door
>try to lock car but cant because lock on door doesn't work

>Close door
>Opposite door opens

>na miata
>shut one convertible latch
>other one falls open

shit actually happens when the latches are worn and the safety lock wears out

>german quality

>16

Isn't that a tad too high, though?

guys i know this is a joke thread but my only car is a 2003 Suburban and I don't have enough money to buy anything else, just the gas. Send help

Nigga my jeep does that shit...

>sort of want

isnt this a shit going haywire thread?

Lmao, it really is some mr bean type shit when youre just alternating between slapping them shut and then you resolve to close them both at the same time

Looks my understanding did fit right in then.

I loved all my shit boxes more than my current "good" car.
It's fun when you have to have a specific way of opening a window, closing a door, operating the stereo, working the lights, or keeping it idling.

I can guarantee you that you didn't even look hard enough. Enjoy your shit gas mileage.

No I don't think you understand man

My income is barely enough for rent, food and gas. There is no money to put aside for anything else and I'm stuck in Tallahassee, Florida which is a fucking nightmare of a town. There's no jobs anywhere, it's rife with poverty and violence.

I closed a door once in my Impala and the central locking stopped working. I love GM

what went wrong user, how do you imagine the exit from this life?

There is no exit. I consider going onto the interstate the wrong way with the lights off every night when I come home from my desk job. I asked for a raise when gas prices spiked and I started skimping on food and my boss told me I was lucky to even be working at all and to double my workload. You know those r9k memes about the wageslave? They're not jokes

I like how i have to double fist the steering wheel at highway speeds so my lower control arm bushings and bad tie rods stay under control.

i'm sorry, this kinda looks like the life i'll have too if i don't get my shit together. living is so bothersome

Please listen to me

Do whatever you can to succeed

Work harder, do your work, whatever it takes

everyone keeps saying that to me but i have 0 motivation to get up every morning, let alone being a "productive member of society". i'll probably kill myself before 30, 40 tops.

Who said anything about Germany? It's all bout dat Nippon steel

If that's the case then early R.I.P then.

thanks bud

>my only car is a 2003 Suburban and I don't have enough money

>being the picture perfect basketball enthusiast

You can sell your truck and get something more fuel efficient.

If you head in the right direction for a year youll be surprised how your life turns around so quickly and a year is nothing in a lifetime. Step one, move out of that economically depressed hell hole you call your home state and move to somewhere like louisian or texas where you can make like 25 an hour if you can pass a drug test and posses a twic card. I wouldve legit sent you 20 bucks if you werent suxh a lazy shit and posted a paypal, but i feel like telling you this is even more valuable.

Step two ditch the gf. If you have one. If you feel this way about life and money, and you have a gf... Chances are shes sort of the money problem in ine way or another. Ditch her.

Last but not least.. Sell that 6000 pound mommy wagon and use the take to buy a more economical vehicle and have some cash in your pocket. It sucks driving a shit box for the better part of a year but they are cheap as fuck to fix when they do actually break.

t. ex convict with a decent job

This just confirmed Stop being a fucking idiot.
If you did that with your fucking Suburban you'd not take out your fucking SORRY ASS, you'd probably stay alive and just fuck up someone else.

Holy fuck, how can people be seriously that dumb.

this guy knows

>Slam door shut
>Something somewhere on the car that was broken suddenly starts working again

>Step one, move out of that economically depressed hell hole you call your home state and move to somewhere like louisian or texas where you can make like 25 an hour
i am actually thinking moving to alaska or at least montana, iowa, wyoming or some fly over state with god tier nature, heck even canada would be fine too but it's kinda difficult obtaining their citizenship, don't have anyone to sponsor me and stuff.

Hey man, I often feel the same way, even though my financial situation is different. I get the same feelings at my job, and I've quit a bunch because they genuinely made me want to kill myself, not from the burden of work, but the idea that I'm wasting my life as a slave to a corporation rather than making money with my own hands and mind.

Our society, our work habits, and the way we desire worthless paper is fucked up, but killing yourself won't fix any of it.

he openly stated he intents to go the wrong way on the interstate with his fucking suburban.
I don't even know how to talk to such people. endangering others because you're dumb as hell is disgusting.

follow the conversation, that's not me. i don't intend to endanger others, i'd just suffocate from cabron monoxide and sleeping pills.

do you happen to have some creative skills? some people achieved to get out of their horrible life by making interesting content for others to enjoy

nothing. but i like the idea of carpentry, it's not the highest paying job but you work with hands and tools building houses and furniture. sounds stupid but for me anything would work.

>carpentry
doesn't sound too bad.
also, I was surprised how much some of those earn. I'd say fucking go for it. start a new life and see where it goes.

>close door
>engine stalls

>Buy Nippon vehicle
>Instantly rusts

i might, thanks for the kind words guys.

>Turns off car
>Car explodes
Allah Ackbar

Hurry up m8,

My first car did that. Was an '00 Clio that I bought completely uninformed for £200.

Had a blown head gasket between pistons 2 and 3, so with a 1324 fire order, I was not having a good time.

Got it all fixed up and totaled it the very next day. RIP James.

Checked

>attempt to signal a right turn
>turn signals dont turn on, but the blower motor which i thought was broken does

>go to pull up on parking brake
>grab passenger's dick

>Close door
>Window glass falls inside the door panel
>Have the glass put back on the window motor mechanism
>Window motor doesn't work
>Glass slowly starts falling gown
>Glue glass to the bottom of the window seal
>Glue dry rots
>Glass starts falling again
>Have a friend get in the back seat
>Hit the door window button
>Glass goes back up and motor randomly starts working again after literally 4 years

>start car
>hood pops

>Close door
>Mirror falls off

>reach to grab shoulder of passenger seat when reversing
>accidentally grab passenger's breast

'95 Blazer, 200k miles, rust, sadness

>doesn't start
>pull hood release lever, nothing happens
>go around to hood
>reach into gap of hood while girlfriend holds hood release lever, yank hood up on one end
>hood releases halfway
>maneuver hands safely around rusted metal everything to pop the other side of the hood up to find a rusted wiring harness, leaking battery and horrific dirty engine bay
>burnt wires
>hand catches on rusty wire

that car was scrapped after the rear left tire blew out in the driveway. Some cars are fucking haunted man

>put tape over paint so you can spraypaint over rust without affecting the surroundings
>take tape off and it tears away paint to reveal more rust

>turn car on
>car is idling
>rev car
>bad ass flow masters exhaust sound
>sudden boner
>go out side to the rear of the car
>insert dick into tail pipe
>dick gets 3rd degree burns

>install new serpentine belt
>the labels/wording is upside down when standing in front of the popped open hood

>accidentally grab passenger's breast
>accidentally

wut

>clean throttle body
>AC start working again

youtube.com/watch?v=dVnQcK2zZk0

>be American
>Try this "cornering" thing

what the fuck is a corner?

I don't fucking know but it hurt a lot and i don't know if I did it right. All the internet guides are so confusing. What the fuck is an apex???

>redline engine
>exhaust blows off

Then start looking for a new job. Or KYS, one of the two.

Happened twice in that red car before I finally fixed it properly.

Spotted the lada slavshit owner

>tfw no Pulsar EXA

>push NOS button
>danger to manifold
>floor pan falls off

That looks amazing

Wow man just take it easy

>Muffler rusts off, starts dragging on highway
>Straightpipe.mp4
>pull over, get out, kick it off into ditch
>door handle breaks off
>other door is locked

Join the air force or something. You'll get money and be safe.

>roll window down
>it doesn't go back up

Holy fuck this thread. My sides are in orbit.

>remove key
>engine continues to run

Had a GMC Yukon do this. Thankfully it wasn't mine.

>Get in car
>start car
>mirrors in wrong place
>seat in wrong place
>car smells weird
>tfw my keys started someone else's car

>dies in a porche crash.

>hit bump
>radio works again

>get in car
>see a note on the windshield

But... Doesn't AC work off vacuum pressure sometimes?...

Wtf why

>Reach to grab shoulder of passenger seat while reversing
>Accidently hit passneger in the fucking face

>start the car
>press gas
>car stalls

>be my friend's 2002 Ford Explorer
>passenger window doesn't work
>brings it in shop
>fills tires with air
>it suddenly starts working

>get in car
>note on windshield
>"no cover" coupon for strip club

Looks like steak for lunch :^)

LOL

>On highway doing 80
>Shift into reverse and floor it

prepare to leave a month in advance and skip on rent in order to have enough money to drive elsewhere and set up shop. should be able to live out of your car long enough to get a job and then a cheep apartment.

try small town apartments around here i can find some 600$ month with utilities.

>mfw this happened to me when I rented a car once
>it was a chevy cobalt

I should've known better than to get a shitconobox

>close door
>passenger window falls down

fucking nice