Red flags thread

fucking kek, I can only imagine

>some autist goes to check out my car
>takes a deep whiff of the seat, looks up with a dissappointed expression
>"what's up?"
>"it doesn't smell like p-pussy"
>mfw he got a noseful of seat my ass farted in for years

>Interior picture is taken from outside the car with the window rolled up.

>selling car
>fat neckbeard in a "Make America Great Again" T-shirt shows up
>"h-hey can I d-drive this car"
>He smells like doritos and sweat but reluctantly I hand him the keys
>Drives off half a block away, parks and following a struggle comparable to an Afghani death march, finally manages to exit the car
>Starts smelling the seat
>Notices I'm watching him
>Waddles away with his size 60 pants around his ankles
>Trips and falls five feet later
>Out of breath and trying not to cry he makes a phone call
>10 minutes of flailing around in the street and wheezing later his mom[?] picks him up

>Ad posted in the summer but the pictures have mounds of snow in the background.

>Seller doesn't feel comfortable signing a bill of sale

>Start the car, the loudest rap station in existence is blaring through the speakers and the interior smells like black and milds.

Time to leave

>ran when parked

I tried to sell my 170k mile ZJ with a cracked piston skirt for $1000 just to see if some dumbass would buy it. I was unsuccessful. It has great A/C though (before it overheats because the water pump started leaking)

Off to the crusher it goes.

Not a bad thing if it's a second car and you get it for the right price.

I once went to check out am Acura shitbox that said "everything runs great!" in the CL ad... When I went to check it out it sounded like it had one wheel in the grave. When I asked about the CEL he said it was for the back brake light (near the windshield) lmao

I've had so many friends go to check out CL listings that said "no issues!!" to have like every single warning light on the fucking dash on.

I took my Autel diagnostic tablet out with a coworker who was looking at an early 2000's 3 series BMW, ad said like 3 separate times:

>no issues!
>Runs great!
>I drive it every day!

We get there, the battery is dead (I brought a jump box). When we get it going, it has over 30 ACTIVE error codes, and 150+ stored ones, with pretty much every single warning/fault light in the dash on

Jesus fucking christ, this. Been looking for an Integra for awhile just because I want one, but every one of them around here has been riced or neglected to death. WTF do these asshats put in the ad "no problems!" when it will be super obvious the CEL is on and I'll be super pissed I wasted my time. GDit the levels of stupidity that exist out there...

> I just don't have time to fix it!
In my case that was true. I sold a '98 750iL that needed a couple of radiator hoses. I even bought them. Just didn't have the time to fuck with it anymore, given 60 hour work weeks.

Gave the parts I had to the new owner, and he had it running fine within 24 hours.

The dealer I bought my ML 430 off of had literally pulled the gauge cluster out, and tried to black out 2 warning lights with a sharpie, but did such a shitty job you could clearly see the edges of the warning lights showing through afterwards. Pic very related

>he spent more time and money pulling the gauge cluster out to try and hide the lights than it would have taken to fix the actual problem

the battery is a tactic hoping that someone is too impatient or ill equipped to start it before buying, right?

Is this a bad idea? I totaled out my car today and new a new ride ASAP.

I can get this this weekend, have it in the hop next weekend and have a car in two and half weeks.

leesville.bookoo.com/i/59889404

Often times it is

Or they literally just lie about driving it, and haven't cranked it in so long the battery actually died and they didn't know. In helping friends shop CL, I have come across plenty of old fucks where it was obvious the car had been sitting for months, and when the battery ended up being dead, they stammer around, backtracking about not driving it that often.

I know it's different because I've been a car salesman so I know the game, but I HATE dealing with craigslist nowadays, its just always such a clsuterfuck trying to deal with anyone

Not really unless you want to rebuild the valve train of the engine. Then you might find out that the transmission is not "good."

Hahahaha.... man, this actually made me LOL.... thanks. What did the problem end up being?

>needs a tow its on the side of the road
>picture is car parked on the freeway

The washer fluid bottle sits right above the ABS pump, and it had developed a tiny leak at the bottom. The little bit of washer fluid leaking out had shorted a relay connection on the top of the ABS pump. $5 dollar fix, took less than 15 minutes

If it's just a timing belt issue, It shouldn't cost more than 350-400 to fix. Hell I'd go a head and replace the water pump, get new plugs and have a shag wagon shit box

You've gotta be shitting me, that's so stupid. How did you get the sharpie ink off the idiot light? Also, how long have you had the ML? Any issues? It's a pretty baller car, but the Merc reliability thing makes me shy away. Internet says the entry level cars like the C class are the shitty cars. You have to step up to the higher end to get the legendary reliable cars.

92 Accords all had interference engines. Not exactly sure what 'timing slipped' means, but if its a busted belt, theres a 90% chance the valvetrain and possibly a couple pistons are fucked. Not worth the hassle when you can spend a bit more and get a running one.

I fucking just left it on, I didn't wanna go through the hassle of pulling the IC out again. It would only be annoying if I hadn't fixed the problem and they were still on

I've had the ML for 2.5 years now, no problems at all, runs like a tank. And the C class was only shitty during the chrysler era, so 2000-2005, anything before or after that, you're fine. I've owned 5 Mercs directly in my life, and my family has owned many more. Just helped my mom get a used 2014 C300 4matic, which thus far has been fantastic

>invested over 30K in car over the years
>needs a $50 dollar part
>no time to fix
>my loss your gain
>no lowballers

Fucking Cancer.

>Runs great, no issues except X
>Small fix, don't have time to do it myself
>MOT (inspection, rego, whatever your regional equivalent is) expired yesterday but it'll pass no problem
>NO TEST DRIVES WITHOUT X Y Z AND HALF THE ASKING PRICE DEPOSIT (on a £1000 shitbox)

>will trade for jetski.

Why is this the biggest red flag ever? I only see will trade for jetski (or even worse, will trade for harley) at the end of the shittest, most overpriced cars ever made

Hmmm... really? This news makes me want to rethink looking at the C43...

>live in Commiefornia
>buyer must smog
>only needs cats to pass smog
>cats are $800 each
>car needs 4

Fuck you, asshole. You KNOW you live in California and you KNOW you need those cats to keep the car legal. And you cut them off to gain what, 3 hp and a shitload of noise?

>Live in the Socialist Republic of Scotland
>Needs tested
>Only need cat to pass
>Removing cat is hilariously illegal, invalidates your current MOT and requires a retest
>Call police on him
>Ad is gone the next day

MISCHIEF

>live in soviet canada
>need cats to pass inspection
>get pulled over by cops
>car too loud, get a ticket and have to get it inspected the next day
>take h-pipe with cats and bolt it in
>pass test
>put "offroad" h-pipe back on when i get home

why did you end up buying it? I feel that them being that dishonest and deceitful would have spoked especially over a american built MB

>have car older than 20 years old
>get a free pass on emissions they just give you the sticker

wew, I dunno if I could turn down those trips IRL user

>just needs a new battery
Wow thanks, now I have to take it to a shop after I buy it and pay $600 for a new battery? Yeah no

see

part markup and labor

>all highway miles
are "highway miles" a meme?

>Labor
>To replace a battery

It's literally 2 bolts, maybe 4 if it has a retaining band

>floor and rear has almost 70% rotted away, whole car is 99% rust
>"hasn't moved since 1982"
>two sentences later has the balls to write "ran when parked"

>go look at car that's basically made of rust
>door falls off when I open it
>owner expects me to fix it
>He slams his fist on the hood
>Fist goes through the hood

>Mechanic's special!!!!

>GREAT PROJECT!!!
>JUST NEEDS FLOORS, DOORS, ENGINE, TRANNY AND GLASS

>roll down window
>door opens
>wtf
>try again
>happens without fail everytime i do it

>needs minor bodywork

>will trade for jetski.

Why do trashy people all want jet skis?

>mint

>paint: good

youtube.com/watch?v=uLGMQ6WG9Kc

reminds me of this

bretty cool
>mfw some mechanism related to this breaks and i've gotta fix it
>mfw it's raining and you want to get in the car quickly

What do you think about the 2008/9 C300? They are just now creeping in my price range

>saab turbo arrow

>looking to buy a car
>find one
>agree to meet at the mall
>pull into lot
>see car
>see woman standing next to it
>don't even stop and just drive away

This is a regular occurrence on ebay. They're really only selling the documents and VIN so someone can clone the vehicle.

>Seller is a nigger, or associates with niggers.

That's a shitbox not a flag

>your picture, show me your plate cunt
>not giving out VIN
>being a general prick while you try to get me to give you thousands of dollars

I think that pic is from a thread I made a couple months back of a nigger trying to sell his car for 67k lol

>clone vehicle
What do you mean by this?

>implying that most neckbeards weren't sanders fans

lol xd i like meemess too

>Only 50,000 km on new engine!
>Never lists the mileage on the rest of the car

LPG, every post you make is great. Quit your job right now, and go write a book in green text format, you could retire.

>Ad for motorcycle
>Good condition never dropped etc. etc.
>Pic of it sitting in the corner of his yard under a foot of snow in the middle of winter

>Tfw just found out an is300 I was looking at at this dealership was owned by a woman
Not if want, at least it guarantees this thing wasn't hooned

>Paki

>km
>mileage
I get what you're trying to say, though.

>only one owner
>check carfax, actually 2 owners

alternatively
>only 3 owners

I, and most others as far as I'm aware, still say "mileage". I can't think of a better metric alternative to the word

>lady owned

So it's hit 17 inanimate objects and is never maintained until servicing is due

>hooned and maintained
>woman driven and not maintained

Take your pick

Great, so it's got scratches and dings all over the body and it's probably never been serviced.

Mate, we only get the best here.

jesus that is one clusterfuck of an edit.

>He hasn't replaced a battery on a Chrysler Sebring
>He hasn't had to replace a trunk mounted battery when the owner has their car stuffed full of junk

If you have time to sell it, you have time to fix it.

Who looked at that design and was like "this seems okay"

>i recognize that pussy smell!

IIRC this was around the time when CAD started to take over engine compartment design and designers were cramming shit anywhere it would fit in order to shorten the bay and increase crumple zones.

observe

The other day I was trying to think of one single thing Chrysler has ever done correctly but I couldn't think of anything.

torsion bar suspension in a lot of classic mopars.
that went well. then there was the A833 transmission.
they usually had pretty good front ends.
and the slant 6 was good tier

so in other words, nothing.

...

you know, where you slam on the gas, slam on the brakes, swerve through traffic, drive in the shoulder, cross four lanes to get the exit you almost missed

just real easygoing stuff compared to going 30 mph and waiting at stoplights on city streets.

>meme air intakes
>ugly aftermarket wheels

>you know, where you slam on the gas, slam on the brakes, swerve through traffic, drive in the shoulder, cross four lanes to get the exit you almost missed

Not everybody sucks at driving user

where do you live? they do here.

They are actually pretty easy to replace you faggot, just looks difficult. The most difficult ones are Porsche cayenne/Audi q7/vw touareg which are under the passenger seat, and ml500 etc mercs that are under the driver's seat.

The point of my post was the other user wondering why there's a labor charge for changing a battery. Not all cars have them in easy-to-reach places and besides, why should somebody work for free?