Yfw cop car behind you

>yfw cop car behind you

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whats his name Veeky Forums?

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Inspector Gadget

Do it with Dan

"squeeze tighter she's a biter"

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>you were speeding

>cop car in front of you
>going slower than the speed limit

...

Hard mode
>no lisence and fake plates on a car that has no title

God mode
>warrant out for your arrest

Aloha Snack Bar!!!!

>yfw the cop is going over the speed

Could it be a trap?

European Extreme Edition
>mashing the OnStar button yelling CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM

Auscuck death wish edition
>sticker implying hooligan activity on your windshield

Level 2
>your tyre slides 1/4 of an inch since its wet out

>Cop is driving in front of you
>Your inches from him
>Only thing separating you is that he's in the front seat and you're in the back

>Mongolian Plainsman edition
>FWD only, automatic transmission

>miss turn
>cop behind me
>there's a side road I can take but it means crossing double solid yellow line
>don't wanna test to see what mood cop is in
>keep going until intersection
>he's still behind me
>turn left to shake him and u-turn
>s t i l l t h e r e
>took ANOTHER side road to three point turn in and finally shook him
>ended up ten minutes late.

Also
>shitty road design where you need to cross three or four lanes of traffic to get to the left turn lane after merging into the road on the right
>not very much room to do it
>people usually understand and give you space if your left signal is on
>trying to get into left turn lane, few cars already in it
>cop guns it into the lane before I get there
>no lights or siren, just flat out cuts me off
>stranded in lane next to cop with my signal on
>taco behind cop left a car's length in front of himself for me to back up and squeeze into
>other cars already lined up behind me
>mfw a cop actually caused me to dangerously obstruct traffic in a busy intersection

>frostbyte mugshot.jpg

>mfw they follow me and ive done nothing wrong

>So i goose them and pull over and they seedily cruise by
Fucking NSW HWP

Dan "The Man with the plan to get your daughter into the van" Schneider

Dan "spike her cider to get inside her" Schneider

>do a second gear pull from a stop to 10 over the 45 limit
>that was fun
>take a left turn up the road
>see cop SUV pull out of a stripmall exit in front of me
>probably heard my racket because late at night
>car has boiracer decals from the last owner and I'm too lazy to remove them/don't want to see unfaded paint
>accelerate like I'm a grandma shifting at 2k rpm
>go exactly the speed limit
>can practically feel his speedgun laser burrowing into the back of my head all the way down the road

Drive normally while accelerating to the speed limit at a brisk pace.

>driving with expired sticker and inspection for almost a year
>usually have weed in the car

i hate it when im a passenger and the driver freaks out over a cop. you literally attract attention, theres nothing you can do at that point but try to ignore him and play by the rules, or change route in a subtle manner

>cop going 30 in a 60
>stuck directly behind
>everyone too scared to do anything
>signal
>mirror
>blind spot
>passing lane
>accelerate to 65
>pass cop
>get back in right lane
>continue on

idk whats so hard, i literally din du nuffin, what is he gonna do? pull me over? Go ahead, you cant even see my dash and inside cam.

Also they're not going slow to screw you over, when i used to work with the cops, they told us that they have these plate scanners on their cars and sometimes they get a stolen vehicle spotting so they gotta go out and scan, problem is these scanners dob't work well at high speeds, so they slow down and scan every car in every driveway.

Also after passing, i took a right and went back to speeding.

>mfw I got my first speeding ticket on Sunday

You have no one to blame but yourself.

How much where you over?

>Mfw 5 over limit
>No disco lights

I'm pretty sure 5 over is okay, but 6 is asking for a ticket

5 is the range because of speed reading uncertainty.

Your speedo can never actually read exactly, it's usually off by 5 anywhere.

Best part, so is the cops gun. That's why you can kinda get away with 10 over. But remember uncertainty goes both ways.

>see cop coming up behind me so I slow down to exactly the speed limit
>cop flies by doing 15 over, no lights or anything
Cops are bro tier in this city. If only the highway patrol was too...

>drive to work
>Last stretch of road has 45mph speed limit
>But for some reason, it drops down to 40mph for about a quarter mile then goes back to 45mph
>there is a motorcycle cop that is always there and waits

Shit gets annoying because some people decide to go 35mph and then traffic builds up slowing everything even more

>Driving i75 through cincinnati
>Construction out the ass
>Going 49 in a 45
>Metro police starts tailing me
>Gets super close to my bumper, I'm mildly worried as even 4 over is like $100+ in construction
>Another guy comes from one of the dozens of poorly routed merge lanes, zips in at a good 60+
>Cop instantly off my bumper and onto his, they both disappear up the road a bit
>See them not a quarter mile later on the shoulder

Dan "Rough Rider" Schneider

>be me, kiwifag
>drive pic related, have hoonigan sticker on windowscreen
>other boiracer stickers
>get stopped for """random""" license checks almost weekly

also our shitty zero tolerance for alcohol for under 21's makes sunday mornings a bit edgy

My compliments to the crafty asshole who set up that speed trap in Louisiana

Eyes ahead not looking in the mirror more then I need to and only moving my eyes if I have to

>old ass fiat panda
>literally a safe ticket, nobody gives a shit

>be me, ausfag
>drive tastefully modded R33 with no faggy stickers
>never pulled over

>cop car in front of you
>going slower than the speed limit

There's this troll cop who always does -5mph in my area, nobody dares to pass him. Pisses me off cause it creates traffic for not reason. I've passed him every time and never even batted an eye at me.

>implying a massive front mount and shotgun exhaust tips aren't tasteful

Fuck off, grandpa

>Cop on highway
>2 miles of empty highway in front of him, bumber to bumper traffic behind him
>everyone too bitch to match his speed of 4 over the limit when everyone does 20 over typically.
>"fuck it, he seems legit, not flashing or chasing anyone"
>match his speed
>"whoop whoop"
>mother fucker points to the floor saying slow down as i look at him in disbelief

>Tfw deliver pizza
>Tfw twice I should've lost my license for doing more than twice the speed limit
>Tfw got pulled over five times in the eight months I've been delivering pizza and never got a ticket because they love our pizza and we give them discounts as well as understand how difficult it is to deliver when we have a retardedly huge radius and not enough drivers
>Tfw speed past cops and speed with cops and haven't been pulled over in three months
>Mfw cop car behind me
>Mfw haven't applied for vehicle modification/reconstruction inspection yet so car isn't legal
>Mfw getting gas with police eight feet away from me and they didn't stop me for not having a decal that shows my car modifications are legal

Maybe if you didnt lose your front bar

Always wonder if the rumors are true. Poor thing, but so lucky old man lol

Of course they are user.

youtube.com/watch?v=xdNZjxJ0ifg

He can't keep getting away with it!

That kind of "policework" is like strictly enforcing speed limits at the bottom of hills. Why don't you stop being a cocksucker and go catch real speeders instead of bothering a mom in her minivan who went 7 over because of gravity?

>decal that shows my car modifications are legal
Wew lad, sounds awful

Why does she have tears in her eyes?

>going speed limit on freeway (highway)
>in slow lane
>cop slowly passing by in overtaking lane
>suddenly slams brakes, moves behind me
>disco lights


>'random license inspection'
Such is life as a p plater in an import

Such is life when you own an import generally.

>be me, ausfag
>drive R33 with fuck off loud cannon and anime stickers, dakimakura in passenger seat
>cop tells me how dissapointed my parents must be

Tell those sausage patties that your parents are proud of who you become

Fucking asshole pig cops

>Section of road heading into town is 55
>At the bottom of the hill it turns into 35
>It's a steep incline but it's a short distance to travel
>Dirt road behind trees a cop waits at the end of the month nearly every month
>He got me once for doing 50 in a 35
>No longer take that route because of this

The sign isn't visible until you pass the crest of the hill. By then you have to lay on the brakes hard to drop down to 35. If you coast you'll still be doing 55 as you enter town.

No reduced speed zone ahead sign so there's no warning. He nails out of Towner's.

Dan the Hymen Divider Schneider

Holy Shit this I almost got my first speeding ticket last week because of this
>Driving through town
>There is a hill going into town that is a 30 mph limit that is a good incline for about 1/3 of a mile
>Massive RV parked on the side of the road broken down
>Let my Old Mercury roll down the hill end up going about 41 by just letting gravity pull me
>Pass RV and see cop pull out from behind RV obviously radaring
>Disco Lights
>Pull Over on side street so cop doesnt have to worry about traffic on major street
>Every goes fine only get a warning however insurance papers were expired
>bogerface.png
>Ended up going to court house next day with non experienced insurance

Everything went better than expected

*Expired

>Driving home stoned at 3am
>It's only 2.5 miles back to my house
>Have weed in my pocket but only 1 working headlight
>Police car pulls out and catches up to me quickly
>Shit
>Driving high is an instant ban in Bongland
>They follow me for nearly 2 miles
>I get to the end of my road and they keep going

Second time:

>Super high again
>Doing the same journey but following a different route this time
>Car goes into limp mode
>I'm doing 40 in a 60 mph zone
>Foot is mashed into the firewall trying to go faster
>I'm carrying weed again. Friend has coke
>Turn a corner, friend suddenly looks pale
>Ask him if it's police. He confirms that it is
>The police car is behind another car
>The sirens go on
>I pull over and begin mentally preparing for life without a driving license
>The car behind pulls over too
>The officer gets out and walks to his window
>Holy fuck
>I slowly slink away and drive home

Fun times

"Beer Can" Dan Schneider

disgusting

It is.

>Tfw deliver pizza
In my area, the cops pretty much leave commercial vehicles alone. That's why UPS, FedEx, and yes, pizza delivery vehicles can often be double parked and not get ticketed. The police just pass by as I saw. Didn't stop to give them a ticket.

Kill yourself, I'm not even joking.

>have expired plates on my car
>moved and wanted to keep my old insurance
>walking to my car, cop hanging out right there
>waves me over, tells me the expired plates are a jailable offense
>runs my license asks me a bunch of questions
>"Sorry sir, I didn't know it was a big deal. I'm a good ol' boy I promise"
>may or may not have had something else on me that could've resulted in even more trouble
>cop is acting like some hard-ass so I think I might actually be fucked
>"Here's your license. I didn't see you here"

I end up getting out of a lot of shit acting like I'm all scared and I would never do it again. If the cops feel like they at least exacted their authority upon you, they won't go balls out and totally fuck up your day.

Might've been a crash ahead.

>Morning commute
>lighter traffic on highway
>motorcycle cop flies by in the shoulder doing 80
>guy in front a few cars ahead slams on the brakes

I've had that happen so many times back when I was a pothead. I've told this one before
>with retarded rich friend, just bought a half zip of some skunky skunk from other buddy
>like midnight, just left skunky friend's house and me and retarded friend are just kinda cruising around smoking
>middle class suburb, but area we are in has some apartment complex with lots of nigs and Mexicans
>at 4-way stop, cop at other corner and he hesitates while he's running my plates
>pull a couple smooth moves and lose cop
>like 5min later, cop pops out behind me a few miles from where we saw him and he pulls me over
>literally blowing out a cloud as his spotlight is on me
>light up a cig real quick, drop everything between the seat, and tell retard friend to keep his quarter in his pocket and shut up
>roll down window, cop says the plates come back to a yellow car and not a black car.
>had car painted 6mos earlier, never changed color on reg, tell cop I have paperwork from Maaco right here
>before I can even reach for paperwork, cop says have a good night
>tfw there's no way the car didn't smell like a skunk
I still don't know how that went down so smooth. He didn't even run my license or anything. Obviously cop had a bigger mission going down that night.

>Driving on toll road
>The toll road authority has its own police department with literally nothing to do except sit on the shoulder of this highway all goddamn day
>Speed limit is 65 on the entire length of it until you reach this bridge where it drops to 50
>Literally nobody slows down, only two lanes wide, slowing down would cause massive traffic
>Bridge is very tall and steep, all the 18 wheelers are coasting downhill and would rather run you the fuck over than slow down if you start braking
>Fucking cop always sits at the toll plaza at the bottom of the bridge and picks out one unlucky bastard every few minutes to pull over when literally everyone on the highway is doing 15 over the limit
This shit makes me so angry. One day that unlucky bastard will be me.

"Ass Man" Dan
Danny Daycare
Spread 'em Dan
Candy Man Dan
Family Man Dan
"Big Daddy" Dan
"Deepthroat" Dan
The Big Dick @ Nick
“Dirty” Dan Schneider
Open Wider Schneider
Schneider The Butcher
"Bend Over" Schneider
"Foot Soldier" Schneider
Dan “The Man” Schneider
Dan "The Biter" Schneider
Dan "The Spider" Schneider
Dan "The Defiler" Schneider
Dan "The Initiator" Schneider
"Down South" Dan Schneider
Dan "The Plunger" Schneider
Dan "The Bladder" Schneider
Dan "The Seducer" Schneider
Dan "Teen Bedder" Schneider

Dan “Rough Ryder” Schneider
Dan “The Collector” Schneider
"No Lube Required" Schneider
Dan "The Despoiler" Schneider
Dan 'Chunky Diddler' Schneider
Daily Dan "The Man" Schneider
Dan "Deep Pounder" Schneider
Dan “She’s a Fighter” Schneider
Dan 'Blobby Molester' Schneider
Dan "Get in The Van" Schneider
Dan "Cunny Hoarder" Schneider
Dan "I've Had Tighter" Schneider
Dan "The Fart Inhaler" Schneider
Dan “Deep Inside Her” Schneider
Dan "The Overnighter" Schneider
Dan "put it in her clam" Schneider
Dan "Came Inside Her" Schneider
"Please Mister, Slower" Schneider
Dan “Likes ‘Em Tighter” Schneider
Dan "The Rough Rider" Schneider

Dan "The man with a plan to lick her clam, tie her up and slap her with your ham, start with 2 fingers then your hand, no reporting and no bans, fondle her clit then her cans, rip off her clothes and throw her in the van, not one-not two-but a 6 man gangbang, into her mouth right inside her, make that pussy wider and wider, soft smooth skin better is the whiter, pound her so hard they call me the Hymen Collider, give me a ciggie this'll be an all-nighter, dont go soft got to be a hard rider, hold her tighter shes a fighter, we wont kill you if you stay quieter" Schneider

>But remember uncertainty goes both ways
No, it doesn't. You always drive slower than what the needle indicates. If you don't, take your car to a repair shop.

Hey /tv/

>6 years ago
>hooning in my dads 2003 cobra
>not paying attention on highway
>crest of the hill theres a state trooper
>look down and im doing 105 in a 65
>tons of cars behind me
>he has to wait a second to pull out
>pulls out and lights come on
>panic
>see huge cloud of carbon behind his car trying to speed up when he pulled out
>gun it and take the next exit after the curve blowing two stop lights
>drive about 10 more miles and stop a movie theater/mall and go inside
>sweating bullets for 2 hours looking outside at the car every few minutes to see if they found it
>calm down, have a slice of shitty pizza and go home
>

15 over in a 70mph zone

I was just over the flow of traffic but the cop decided to be an ass, which sucks because I drive that way pretty regularly

A good lawyer can get that charged tossed out if the flow of traffic is 85.

Unfortunately you'll spend more on the lawyer than the ticket and increased insurance cost.

Cops are scum. They're not here, at least in the states, to protect and serve. It's all a money game.

If I pay the ticket and go to traffic school I won't get a hit on my insurance, which is good, but I plan on fighting the ticket until it gets to that point where it's not worth it

Luckily I've taken two jobs over the summer so I have the money to pay it off if need be

>Tears in her eyes
>Trying to pull his arm away
>She's holding used tissues
>Practically grinding on her ass

holy shit

>flying down the highway going 40km/h over with the rising sun painted on my hood
>come approaching a car going probably 5km/h less than I am
>he flashes his lights
>I slow down to 130km/h
>he does nothing and keeps driving as I slowly distance myself

bro cops 4 life

Never noticed that before, good eye

ausfag here ive done 50km+ by some cops and they know they couldnt catch me so they kept going

NSW rural but i am going to run out of luck soon.

Hold me

had this happen when i got a R33 just as i got my fulls

it was a BLACK LOW GTST and ironically the HWP never pulled it only the locals

Prob thought i was a dealer since it had DARK tint like illegal.

Ended up totaling it

>Totaled
I fucking hate you australians so goddamn much

>this bitch is literally my age
>this bitch is only a month younger than I am

supreme wew la. And here i was thinking she's at least 4 years younger than me.

>one of those rare blessed days when there is very little traffic and you have all 6 lanes of highway available for maximum hooning
>absolutely no cops for miles
>tfw perfect time to test your cars' maximum speed

So yes. boring, mild-mannered 2008 V6 Camrys can really touch 140 MPH.

>she's at least 4 years younger than me.
I just looked up her age. I always thought she was younger as well.

She's roughly 7 months older than I am. All of a sudden she isn't even slightly attractive. Weird how does that.

>this evening
>car in front doing ~20mph under speed limit
>gap in traffic, do an easy overtake
>come off the throttle, sitting about 80mph
>police car is two cars behind oncoming traffic, make eye contact
>set my cruise control to 59mph until I got off the road.

>last weekend
>driving around, having dinner with friends
>doing normalfag things
>get tired and head home
>traffic is slow at midnight
>turn onto 40 MPH road
>shift into second and gun it
>disco lights
>start panicking, slow down and pull over to the side
>he just passes me and turns his lights off up ahead
>notice the same cop do it to two other cars as he drives up the road

Hey I got away without a defect and pissed myself laughing when he pulled off

meh, some cops are scum. EMTfag here and some are pretty damn chill to work with. one I see regularly has some old VW he takes to a track. pretty chill dude

Grorious Nippon Edition:
>You're cornering at a 35° angle to the centre line
>Wheels screeching but you're in your lane doing the speed limit
>ALL I WANNA GET
>IS
>YOU
>BA
>BY

>driving on some toll road in PA I think
>90 in a 70, only car in that section of road
>cop with radar out, pass at 90 and just keep going because I didn't want to admit guilt via break lights
>doesn't even move

I don't know if his radar didn't pick me up or if he was looking for someone faster.

Just pass him at a reasonable speed lad. As long as you don't blow by him at 75 WOT in top gear in your civic you're fine

Because it was the end of shooting the finale.