/twg/ - Total War General

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>Warhammer News
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Remember the alamo

>wake up
>no patch

...

AHHHHHH ROME...

THE ETERNAL CITY...

The etewnal city...

Need... gobbos...

HASHUT! VORGUND! ZHARR NAGGRUND!

G O B L I N S

I have seen the end of days...

>There are people itt right now who don't love the Dawi above all else

Explain yourselves

Best Elves when?

they have autism.

SUMMON

One day

I want to be dominated by a best elf!

Why is he so chinky?

>Angled from below to make him look like he's not just an angry manlet

Lewl. It's like when fat chicks take photos that strategically hide their additional chins.

He's an immigrant in FantasyCanada.

Cool it down guys or we're going to run out of memes pretty fast

NO MORE TEASES
JUST BONE ME ALREADY

brava, GW

Ancient Empires never

>Want to look up what Dark Elves actually have in their roster since haven't played tabletop in a decade, see what they might have when they're finally added to TWW
>Go to GW site
>No Dark Elves section
>Instead Dark Elves are scattered across half a dozen factions that sound like their names were decided by a think-tank of edgy 12 year olds

Jesus.

Why tomb kings fighting norsca?

Because Tomb kings just want to be left alone really, most of the times they go to war its to reclaim treasures some fleshbag stole from them or to defend their borders. Settra was planning to reconquer some of their lost territory after he was done bashing rebellious skulls in but I think that was retconned. The also help the living factions from time to time and constantly try to fuck with the vampires and their plans. Especially Khalida who also has an enormous hate boner for her dear cousin Neferata, and I hope they both get added so we can recreate their enormous bitchfight in Lahmias ruins during the end times. She also had Gotrek and Felix running tasks for her in a book.

Traders and mercenaries from Britain travelled all the way to the Phoenician city-states

Not the same

Geographical proximity.

Bjornlings trying to get some of that end game loot.

>Tomb Kings still not announced

You seem to have made a mistake, friend. You posted a picture of Dark Elves while your post clearly asks about the status of Best Elves.

>begging for dlc news

>Forcing new meme

Wait a sec
ARE THOSE BEASMAN TRYING TO RAPE THAT WOMAN?

Really makes you think, huh?

It wouldn't surprise me, Beastmen tribes are notorious for their culture of toxic masculinity.

I'm glad shitty leafelfs are coming out first, they'll be ready to enslave when Delfs finally arrive.

they are trying to rescue her before the wood elves take her away.
>Quickly friends! free the maiden while I hold the knife eared monsters back!

>Woman

Those High elves looks very similar to Gondor

As it is she's going to end up as Orion's cocksleeve anyway since that's the fucking Wild Hunt.

They're not really in the business of saving humans they find in the forest.

Actually, the WETA design was after warhammer fantasy.

>siege dwarf city
>attack one of the gates with a ram and all elite troops to cap the flag
>get to the gate
>thunderers open the gate and start shooting
>can't ram the gate
>can't attack the thunderers
>end up losing

Better be raped by qt elves than a fucking dirty goats

this rattles my bones

Aren't bloody-smelling knife-ears as close to okay as they can get with earthy-smelling knife-ears?

Siegies suck in total war games, but specially in warhammer.
Wall placement is too restrict, streets are too narrow.
The map is too small and pretty much forces you to rush the walls, as if you are not the one doing the siege but being sieged.
Theres no reason to breach walls in this game, just ctrl+G your infantry in the wall and that's it.

>not wanting to get raped by a hot, muscular goat-man

Not really. They still consider them untermensch.

>wanting to get raped

>Siegies suck in total war games

>he didn't play Shogun 2

>tfw I think shogun 2 sieges were the best

Don't reply to my post ever again.

...

They were for a simple reason. You had space to fall back and the way walls were conquered allowed you time to do so. Especially on some maps with higher level forts.

I remember once I defended on this map with Castle and behind me was a waterfall and bridge, in front of me two huge boulders so I could be only properly attacked from two sides. I crushed one side, killing the general there and then moved back to the 3rd level of my fort and made the other side route. And I was outnumbered by quite a lot.

Amazing feeling and something you can't attain in any other TW game. Attila had some great moments, but of the newer ones, WH falls flat on its face.

It's ok to admit you were wrong, you shitter.

ded

>saw this picture 10 years ago
>"haha it's funny because she's fat"
>watch it now
>the fat picture is now more attractive

Nothing to post about until AE or Wood Elfs.

>AE
steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=772236345

They are teasing us!

Empire total war sieges were the shit

You always had cannons
You would just shoot each other on top of the wall

No clusterfuck attrition battle

>Battles only

>Cavalry will not charge formed units (more on these categories later).

Definitely the worst thing they could have done is unlimited tower range on sieges and the lack of ladders going up the wall

You lose a shitton of troops before even getting in their archers range
Artilley become fucking useless since you wont be sitting on your ass waiting for a breach when the fucking towers are destroying your units

They made attacking siege battles such a nightmare that not even the AI want to fight them

Shouldn't that be easily fixed with mods?

I wonder if there is one
There probably is

empire siege were the fucking worst of the entire series

a bit late, ROLLAN

the total war series is literally why we still have racism today

one day we do away with it and put humanity on the correct path

Enjoy your genocidal games children while they last

at least tower range can be modded

Are Slavic Nations worth it?

Are they comfy?

>tfw that's my wallpaper, minus the dog and onion.

Its garlic

I just bought a shogun 2 key but it turned out to be the master collection. Which total war do I start with? I'm leaning towards empire and Napoleon but any other recommendations?

Venedians can be if you expand west. Sclavenians and Anteans are way too fucking close to the Steppes and the Hunnic spawning area to have any kind of comfines

empire and napoleon are ok. But if you grab the darthmods for both of them you wont be disappointed

shogun 2
empire
don't bother playing nappy

Why do I love Vlad so much?
It's pretty simple when I think about it.
Vlad isn't just the best character in the Warhammer world, he might just be the greatest character of all time.
Just imaging him riding through the swamps of Sylvania, the wind in his hair, his mighty steed below him.
As he rides through the World's Edge Mountains, the Lahmians swoon at his very scent.
They know how he smells, the essence of his smell is sold in Marienburg under the the name of "Carstein Orgasm."
The very nature of Vlad is mystery.
Could he be playing a deeper game than even his creator realizes?
The answer is yes, he has transcended such boundaries as the written world, and has free will to do whatever he sees fit.
However, Vlad is filled with such guile, such arcane craft that he does not even use these powers.
Why, you might ask? You will never know, for the mind of the Vlad is not one that is easily penetrated.
Vlad is such a force of nature in his realm that nothing can truly touch him, the only thing keeping him bound to the page at all is his will to exist within the preordained boundaries of his world.
Vlad is not only beyond the comprehension of us, he exists within a plane of true focus and beauty.
Observe his playful smile, his gorgeous and rippling biceps, his gallant nose, and most importantly, his eyes.
His eyes, like pools of saffron, provide the only glimpse into the true machinations of Vlad. Do not stare into them. Many good men have gone mad in the attempt.
Vlad is not just a character, a formless collection of words and images, he is himself is the binding that holds the Warhammer world together.
Without Vlad, the entire Warhammer world, the entire Games Workshop as we know it crumbles.
The Reik would stop flowing without Vlad, Athel Loren would become a desolate crater, and Norsca would melt without his frosty gaze.
These are just of a few of the reasons why I like Vlad so much.

>Be Slavs
>Migrate to Egypt
>Conquer Fertile Crescent
>Build farms everywhere
>Wait for Ice Age to crippled all other factions
>Dominate the entire fucking world with Slavic farming magic
>Laugh as your well-fed troops wipe out the hungry skeletons of less Slavic nations

>abandon settlements, become horde
>move to Britain to have cozy Island Slav campaign
>your hordes are piss poor, can barely even support one full army between them
>get shit kicked in in Britain trying to take a settlement with outnumbered Slav levies

It just ain't cozy.

Shogun 2

>it's a "faction with stone age tchnology attacks your max level walled city/fort" episode

>not taking Yemen and using the dam to magnify your Slavic magics

I tried it once, even posted here, but got bored. If you combine Venedian farm bonuses with the dam's farm wealth bonuses, and then convert to Semitic Paganism after you've build Slav shrines everywhere, you can get your farms producing insane amounts of wealth.

Rolling for old mods!

I want a fantasy Total War with a few factions with huge-ass cities and forts, really powerful units, but really limited in number, against massive literal stone-age hordes.

...

...

>likes beastmen, dorfs and vc
>but dislike empire, greenskins and chaos

So you like easy campaigns?

>It's no news until tuesday episode

None of them were hard, only 2 of them were fun. Dwarfs were mildly entertaining. Orcs were just boring, Empire was RNG the campaign and Chaos Warriors are just terribly dull on campaign.

As much as I like TWW, the campaign in it's present state is oppressively boring. Since finishing a campaign with each race I'm going to stop and come back next summer and see if they haven't fleshed it out a bit more.

>Not liking Empire
Gay

playing chaos with the helmet cosmetic mod is the greatest thing ever

>Dwarfs
>Good

Please elaborate how the Benny hill campaign is good

I don't understand why they made them helmetless to begin with. I mean I kind of get it with lords or mutated ones, but the whole deal with Chaos armor is that they are sealed inside it.

When I play Chaos, I expect an (eventually) elite horde of bucketheads, chopping down the faithless masses.

Oh boy, byt popular demand legend has a new channel dedicated to VLOGS!

youtube.com/watch?v=x8sYbj2oaBc

You ready for his witty humour and sketches?!

>tfw in to THICC

Just build a beastmeme minotaur doomstack and go fight savage orks in the badlands

11 months 17 days from now ;_;