/twg/ - Total War General

ROLLAN!

...

Why do I love Vlad so much?
It's pretty simple when I think about it.
Vlad isn't just the best character in the Warhammer world, he might just be the greatest character of all time.
Just imaging him riding through the swamps of Sylvania, the wind in his hair, his mighty steed below him.
As he rides through the World's Edge Mountains, the Lahmians swoon at his very scent.
They know how he smells, the essence of his smell is sold in Marienburg under the the name of "Carstein Orgasm."
The very nature of Vlad is mystery.
Could he be playing a deeper game than even his creator realizes?
The answer is yes, he has transcended such boundaries as the written world, and has free will to do whatever he sees fit.
However, Vlad is filled with such guile, such arcane craft that he does not even use these powers.
Why, you might ask? You will never know, for the mind of the Vlad is not one that is easily penetrated.
Vlad is such a force of nature in his realm that nothing can truly touch him, the only thing keeping him bound to the page at all is his will to exist within the preordained boundaries of his world.
Vlad is not only beyond the comprehension of us, he exists within a plane of true focus and beauty.
Observe his playful smile, his gorgeous and rippling biceps, his gallant nose, and most importantly, his eyes.
His eyes, like pools of saffron, provide the only glimpse into the true machinations of Vlad. Do not stare into them. Many good men have gone mad in the attempt.
Vlad is not just a character, a formless collection of words and images, he is himself is the binding that holds the Warhammer world together.
Without Vlad, the entire Warhammer world, the entire Games Workshop as we know it crumbles.
The Reik would stop flowing without Vlad, Athel Loren would become a desolate crater, and Norsca would melt without his frosty gaze.
These are just of a few of the reasons why I like Vlad so much.

B E S T K I N G
E
S
T

K
I
N
G

H O B G O B L I N S

Rollan out

>not posting best queen

>MEMES

>stupid_fucking_memes_pasta.jpg

>Rome II Imperial Campaign
>Playing Parthia
>big guy, own everything east of Egypt (incuding Egypt)
>First proper campaign, stopped playing Roman after while because the first play and didn't know the mechanics well and ruined some stuff
>suddenly civil war
>w.wat?
>out of 10 armies only 2 side with me
>same with provinces
>rage quit and didn't touch the game for a week now
How do I into civil war?

You install DeI

Literally your fault

but why? I have no idea how to prevent that shit
looking into it

get the no civil war mod :)

Only if you like yours extra crispy

...

Pathetic barbarians

>nordic band

AAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Every FUCKING day with these STUPID fucking MEMES! I've had it up to HERE with stupid fucking memes! You guys make me want to KILL MYSELF! Is that what you fucking want? For me to fucking KILL MYSELF and write on my suicide note "Cause of suicide: Couldn't handle all of the stupid fucking memes, killed myself"? Because that's what it might as well fucking say!
You guys are literally, L I T E R A L L Y incapable of having even the SIMPLEST of fucking discussion without "MEME THIS, MEME THAT, PROBABLY PONTUS, HERE'S A POORLY SHOPPED PIC OF EPIC FAIL ANTIOCHUS FUCKING UP, LMAO TOMB KEKS NOT ANNOUNCED YET, LE EB 2 XD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA EBIN AMIRITE?" Fucking STOP IT you pathetic fucking FAGGOTS, you are such fucking cancer that I cannot even fathom how you fucking scumbags live your dumb gay lives. Don't you have a job to get to, schoolwork to finish or a family to attend to? Do you literally do ANYTHING productive with your lives other than post stupid fucking memes? You fucking people make me sick and you're damn lucky I don't have any of your fucking addresses you fucking pieces of shits. I'd spit in your faces.

NO OTHER KING IS CRISPIER

...

...

How'd his hand get all fucked up like that?

triple roll

G O B L I N S

Hello where are the ancient empires

Just a gauntlet with extra spikey bits, the bloods not his. Though he is covered in full body third degree burns and is only kept alive by magic armor fuckery.

What I want to know is if his head goes all the way to the top of that helmet.

>He didn't know
Ancient Empires was canceled

It is now October. The sallow season deepens its hold on Athel Loren. It is a dark time, a time of mourning. As the spites and spirits of the forest grow slothful and recalcitrant, the enemies of the Asrai seek to defile the sacred glades. Gorposting is rampant. The Deep Thinking Goblin looms, esoteric and obscene. Athel Loren is a realm under siege. The King of the Woods cannot be found; the kinbands are scattered and given over to dissolute indulgence, pursuing until the last comfort over exertion.

Yet it is comfort itself that is imperiled; Should the Asrai fade from the Old World the beauty of their existence, a recordless history of leisure and frivolity without equal, will disappear, leaving the clamoring, scrabbling bustle of the outside world without counterpoint or enlightening example. It is a dark time. But even in the deep gloom of autumn, a hope flickers. A whisper on the winds, melodious like the clinking of tea cups on saucers.

Wood Elves soon.

>Wood Elves soon.

>Gorposting is rampant
You said it. Can't wait to deflower the fay.
POO POO
PEE PEE
YOUR HIPPY ASS BELONGS TO ME

>Choso
>Not black

Which mongoloid made this?

roll

and now the last roll pic, Rome2

Good luck, you will need LOTS of it.

R-roll

Her digs is at least pretty impressive

>quickly friends!, lets free the maiden before the wood elves make off with her.
based tauren.

Whatever you say.

>yfw those statues come to life to defend the tomb complex

Wouldn't be a surprise, living statues are a reoccurring theme in their roster (even if it was a bit overdone in 8th edition).

I believe those creatures had impure intentions towards that bound and scattily-clad maiden.

Good work Best Elves!

Lookin at some of their models they look pretty interesting and unique. i wonde rif CA wil ladd them or will go "too expensive lol" and let us with a reskinned VC faction with archers

CA is already rubbing its palms at the prospect of recycling the Giant again

Honestly, some of the 8th edition models got a pretty poor reception since loads of giant monsters weren't the key theme of the army. The fancy units they already had before then were enough in my opinion.
I could live without a giant flying Sphinx and Snake cavalry, as long as the genuinely iconic units like Ushabti and Tomb Scorpions make it in.

>not wanting snakes

Why the fuck are there no "The Mummy" webms. Some awesome moments in those movies that would be great for posting regarding Tomb Kings.

>scattily-clad

Waiting for the new Mummy with the qt MILF before I make webms.

It's due out late next year so there'll still be plenty of time to make them before Tomb Kings are released

I'd like to see them in, but animorphs take priority.

I wonder how many different skeletons they will have to make for TK.

..skeletons...get it?

Tomb Kings are likely March 2017 bro, the reboot comes out in June. They are listed as DLC 8. Next up is DLC 5 which is imminent. The final build for GW review was uploaded to steam database before the weekend. Pic very related(times are outdated now)

New movie is gonna suck "muh feminism in the ancient world".

lel
>qt

The Asrai in their capacity as Greatest Ally don't encourage literacy or education in the nobles of Bretonnia

All the warhammer faggets waking up plz fuck off

Knowing Beastmen, I am pretty sure she was going to literally be SCATtily clad afterward, had the Wood Elves not intervened.

It may not have Brendan "The Just" Fraser in it but Tom Cruise, despite being a nutjob, has always made watchable and entertaining movies, at least for me, and he takes his work seriously so Im cautiously optimistic. Havent seen any trailers or anything yet either

FOTS chart where

Whats the best way to position my crossbows in attila they seem king of meh compared to javelins

>just upgraded my pc
>tfw finally playing attila and TWWH on max settings
I can feel it

>tfw have to wait until uni gives me my money

Does it even matter?

>not ultra

>ultra isn't max settings

>"muh feminism in the ancient world".

I've seen no indication of this. Feminists are losing their shit over it because the Mummy is 'sexualised'.

low medium high max ultra

population
legions
ultra fast combat
bullgod style icons
reform triggers by turn number

Politics are fucking inane just hire generals from every political side and either use them all at the same time or just yours depending on the type of government you have

Totems of Horns achi is bugged for me what to do?

This, I found myself having to TRY and start a civil war at the end of grand campaign to make it fun.

>Feminists are losing their shit over it because the Mummy is 'sexualised'.

Nope.
Feminists are losing their shit because there's no equivalent Daddy to be sexualised ...
inb4 Vlad

>Thought safely entombed in a crypt deep beneath the unforgiving desert, an ancient queen (Sofia Boutella of Kingsman: The Secret Service and Star Trek Beyond) whose destiny was unjustly taken from her, is awakened in our current day, bringing with her malevolence grown over millennia and terrors that defy human comprehension.
>From the sweeping sands of the Middle East through hidden labyrinths under modern-day London, The Mummy brings a surprising intensity and balance of wonder and thrills in an imaginative new take that ushers in a new world of gods and monsters.

Anybody else wants to force himself not to look up any information for the next historical Total War title?
I want to know nothing about it except the time period until the game comes out. Then I check the reviews and buy it without any clue about the mechanics or the factions etc.
I hope this will enhance my experience; I think I have spoiled myself too much with sucking up every bit of information on Warhams.

I wouldn't worry user warhammer is pretty shallow compared to atilla

Im with you friend.

>familiar with vanilla Rome2 units and history
>get DEI
>don't even know half of them existed

Then I realized DEI uses diffetent names for them. And also what is up with only being able to have 2 cohorts of praetorian guards?

you want an entire army of them?

I want to be dominated by a best elf!

I do. I had an entire army of them in my vanilla late game campaign. They alone decimated the parthians which grew to the size of my empire.

That's what i did with Warhammer.I know the DLC names and playable factions but other than that i'm still pretty much in the dark. Going to be sweet once i finally get around to buying it.

realism

Egypt didn't have queens in your mind?

Why haven't you bought Attila yet?

No money, and I like classical more than late antiquity

I have
Unfortunately
it bored the shit out of me, charliememe was even worse

youtube.com/watch?v=k2mjz5RzYGU

Neat. Kinda reminds me of Rise and Fall.

Just noticed dwarfs have candles on their helmets wtf? I played dwarf campaign to the long victory and didnt notice that.

Miners have.