2 am in Florida, Feds including ICE agents quietly line up outside a quiet, unassuming white import shop. They place chains on the large overhead door which are firmly attached to the back of an acquired MRAP. With a solid tug and wail from the diesel powered behemoth, it rips the entire door and parts of the wall with it and agents move in quickly, spotting their target.
Producing another chain, they attach it to the closest hard point on the slumbering 116i, an agent gives the signal and the MRAP makes short work of pulling the plucky little sport wagon out of the shop.
Tires squeeling from the still engaged handbrake and alarm triggered, with the horn signalling a warning to the other sleeping imports.
An agent in full battle rattle looks up from the hastily printed out papers from a website about trailers for sale, rent or whatever and says, “That’s the one.”
Looming in the shadows of the poorly lit street was a fork lift and a semi towing a trailer outfitted with a mobile automotive crusher.
Lights are suddenly focused on the 116i, horn still blaring away, the forklift operator pushes the tines through the doors with a sickening crumple of sheet metal, ripping through the fabric upholstery and out the other side, driving it home all the way to the hilt on the forklift.
The other cars sit in the shop, they just stare on in blank horror. A Mercedes Diesel drips some extra oil on the floor in terror.
Horn still blaring, rankling the nerves of the agents trying to make quick work of this assault, they pull the lever and the crusher begins to do the work it was born to do and this looked to be a special treat.
The metal crumples. Glass shatters. Airbags deploy. The blaring horn trails off as the battery is destroyed.
The agents toss the flattened carcass onto the driveway of the shop as a message.
Nothing left but the sound of gravel crunching under shiny black govt. issue combat boots and the heavy, hungry tread of the MRAP and equipment as they steel off into the shadows of the Florida night.
The Mercedes Diesel drops another bit of oil into growing puddle on the floor.
Somewhere in Washington, a man in pinstriped pajamas receives a text, he smiles and goes to sleep with a very firm yet tiny erection.
Jace Taylor
>bmw
>no one gives a shit.
Ethan Lee
seconded.
Caleb Murphy
wasn't there an r34 or r33 for sale in Florida recently?
Jacob Baker
At least it wasn't the twingo
Anthony Ward
>drive a mustang >constantly feel the need to pull down imports so they don't make my shitbox look bad
What's wrong with people from red states?
Asher Miller
TL;DR USA car market is so shit they force you to buy domestic by banning imports.
Sebastian Torres
No, its unironically Mercedes fault. They got upset Americans were importing higher spec'd cars for the same price as base model ones sold by MB USA so their dealer network lobbied the government to stop grey market imports.
As if you needed another reason to never buy a Mercedes Benz
Brayden Bailey
>US government keeps eating up lobbying >it's somehow the lobbyists' fault and not the government's Pic related, (You).
Noah Hill
Let me guess...another Mercedes Benz owner arguing for the automotive jew.
Juan Richardson
What he's saying is that we need to keep the carjews out along with the gasjews and the gunjews and the insurancejews. We need to jewproof our government.
Mason Peterson
as if benz has enough sway with the government to pull that shit off
It's to protect the domestic market you dumb yank, and was done for same reason no one outside america buys your cars They're shit as fuck
Nathan Thompson
I hate to side against my countryman but the Britbong is right. It's the government's fault for "muh infant industry" economic fallacy.
Nobody but skin deep patriots really thinks buying American because "American" is a smart move.
Connor Barnes
>no one outside america buys your cars >They're shit as fuck guess what the recent best selling sports car in germany was
Grayson Reed
If it's to prevent imports how come I can buy a virtually identical USDM model of the same vehicle that was also made in Europe?
As an American I'm honestly fucking surprised, even if that number is only 780 cars.
Logan Miller
>0.0004% of all car sales
Gavin Cox
...
Nolan Williams
Actually their whole dealer network in the USA does. Dealers that aren't just owned by Mercedes Benz USA but a bunch of other rich people in America as part of a franchise
Sebastian Anderson
i hate when they show the full loaded version of the car for the base/starting price
Aiden Green
>Pony car >Pony car >Muscle car >Fag car >Boyracer >Sportscar
