Why haven't you converted to Eastern Orthodoxy yet, Veeky Forums?

>Jews and Islam are out because Jews and Islam
>Paganism is out because it's just an epic meme, anyone claiming to be pagan on this board is a LARPer who has never attended a pagan service outside of an imageboard. Anyone who's ever attended a real pagan service knows that it's the sheer definition of new-age bullshit
>Protestantism is out because anyone with a sense of early Church history knows in two seconds flat that it's bullshit
>Catholicism is out because the Church has become cucked beyond belief, it's literally the biggest lobbying force for SJWing and letting rapefugees flood Europe right now
>Eastern Orthodoxy stands strong as unchanged and unmoving, a staunch defender against the plague of Modernism and the SJW

Why haven't you converted to Eastern Orthodoxy yet, Veeky Forums?

>inb4le epic kek meme

But user....I am Orthodox :3

And I am a girl like Constie

>implying Orthodox aren't some of the biggest LARPers around

>>Paganism is out because it's just an epic meme, anyone claiming to be pagan on this board is a LARPer who has never attended a pagan service outside of an imageboard. Anyone who's ever attended a real pagan service knows that it's the sheer definition of new-age bullshit

Oldest religions on earth are "new-age" . Kill yourself

boy i love me le cuckity cuckold meme it makes me go hehehe looool.
i love trolololing sjw cucks with my epic beliefs XXDDXDXDXD, heh looks like im to smart for you reddit and tumblr fags.... TROLLED.

>Catholicism is out because the Church has become cucked beyond belief, it's literally the biggest lobbying force for SJWing and letting rapefugees flood Europe right now

do you have literally no idea what Christian values are

christianity isn't a means to some ethnic identity either, so any type of orthodoxy lends itself to non-evangelistic attitudes, not actually carrying out the word of the Lord.on that note, if you're actually considering eastern orthodoxy without having a family tradition or ethnic background behind it, good luck famalam. literally muh secret club: the denomination.

Wtf I love Orthodoxy now

>muh EARLY CHURCH

Why should we give a fuck about the early church? As far as I'm concerned everything after apostles might have been apostates and indeed they often were.

Cuck.

>do you have literally no idea what Christian values are
This is Veeky Forums. "Christian Values" mean DEUS VULT and killing all heathens and heretics here.

I don't get why racists think Christianity works for them

But user...God guides and protects his flock

Eastern Orthodoxy is literally a meme.

>cuck
LOOOL... looks like uve been... EPICLY TROLLED teeheee.
looks like le (((cuckolds))) and there degeneracy is epicly failing and le trololol master is getting pose xd.
how much power u ask... OVER 9 THOUSAAAAAND xddxddxd

like the concept of Christianity here is so twisted and far removed, the teachings of the Lord were fully meant to spread across the planet for all, not some silly excuse to insult Arabs and (((Jews))).

Still a cuck.

>>all other religions are false but for my supar sekrit khristian klubhouse.

Fuck off.

Pretty sure you guys are larping a semitic, Jewish fanfiction. You have no writings from Jesus himself. Nor any proof that the gospels were even written by the person they claim to be. Never mind the contradictions in their various accounts.


Larping jew meme

I am a cute Orthogal :3

I am ready to serve my husband to be~

POST FEET
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F
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Tee hee user ^////^

You are a very lustful boy

Please go for Confession :3

>Why should we give a fuck about the Early Church?

Y-you are aware what board you're on, right?

Also,

>True church was founded in the sixteenth century and every doctor, father and saint was just an apostate until then.jpeg

I'll take the council of Nice over the council of Salt Lake City Magic Underwear any day, thank you very much.

is this satire or something?

Constantine's constant retardation has shown me how shit Orthodoxy is. Anyone who believes Jesus was born from anal sex is no group I want to be in.

heh, im afraid the only cuck here is... YOU!!!!!
luckily we have strong white upholders or western society to fight you (((cuckolds)))) off...
*teleports behind you*
*cuts off you're dick*
*teleports back*
heh, now only white alpha males can create offspring, nothing personnel kid.
OMGGGGGGGG~~~~~~
*composes self*
would you.... like 2 b.....my subservient white waifu.....?????~~~

I confess, I've been a very naughty boy... If only I had a modest waifu like yourself :3

S-Satire?

I am a true girl

Are you Orthodox?

I am cuter than Constie :3

yeah nah it's supposed to mean killing everyone who isn't white, cuck

My my

Remember to go for Confession, the Orthodox way

In front of everyone after liturgy :3

Why don't you leave moms basement and attend an actual pagan service. Then please come back and report on the glorious MUH HURITAGE you found there.

NO! M'lady! Pay no attention to this rascal! I'll convert to Orthodoxy faster than you can say slava!

Yes

Remember to listen to what Father says and pray to God for guidance :3

Our Savior is not born from anal sex

But Hypostatic Union, combined with Mary's virginity, necessitates it.

user....that is very blasphemous

Constie is a heretic who loves Patriarch Kiril of Moscow

Please don't listen to her. Oneegai :3

How is it blasphemy?

Constie who?

Sakurahime :3~

The Theotokos is pure

It is very wrong to say she has anal and gave birth to the Savior through that like Kiril and Constie teach

Remember, side with Ecumenical Patriarche, not Moscow :3

Maybe if the orthodox didn't build churches over the pegan temples i could've

>siding with Kiketholomew
>not siding with based Moni Esfigmenou

Too bad, I was actually thinking you were kinda cute for a while.

This attitude is a dealbreaker

Remember to read the Bible and seek the fathers of the church for guidance

You my children are the guardians of our Holy Tradition. No one can add or take away from it like Constie does with her fixation on dirty anal

Don't obey Moscow. Russia is not the third Rome :3

Also, read Fr Andrew Louth's "Introducing Eastern Orthodox Theology" for starters

Follow and support Paris school of Orthodoxy~

Patriarch Bart is not a Jew

Why are you so rude?

Pretty rude senpai ;~;

What else would you expect from a tranny?

He is a Catholic-friendly Freemason
Anyways, do you know anything about the Esfigmeniots?
Utterly based
Yeah, should've figured

I'm serious

They aren't the same as the original paganism, they are reconstructions. Besides, they are reconstructed by modern new-agey people; seriously - listen to OP and actually go to a service and look at what a joke it is.

Oh shit!

CAT FIGHT

F
I
G
H
T

Because I'm an Oriental Orthodox already.

Better to be have a 'secret club' where our values are maintained and uncorrupted, than evangelize.

But the Savior had a human nature, distinct from the divine nature. He couldn't speak at "birth". He stumbled and fell learning to walk. Sperm + Egg made the body. Since she was a virgin, it must have been anal, since that doesn't count as sex.

I am a real girl b-baka >~<

They were angry with Ecumenical Patriarch since he is friendly with Catlicks

Our Savior didn't come from anal sex >__

Constie no no no >~<

This is so wrong

The Theotokos did not have anal sex

Stop being brainwashed by Kiril

CAT FIGHT
WHO IS THE HERETIC?
WHO IS TRUE TO THE FAITH?
WHO SHALL REACH THEOSIS THE FASTEST?

TUNE IN NEXT TIME ON Veeky Forums TO FIND OUT

>Constantine put the trip code on again to show who's the alpha female

Constie is heretic

She thinks the Theotokos did anal

That is very wrong

OOOOH SAKURAHIME STARTED OFF WITH SOME LIGHT JABS
LET'S SEE HOW CONSTANTINE WILL RESPOND

and yet pagan temples can still be fucking found all over the world, sure most of them are ruins but they're there.
Why aren't they used then? you might ask, because modern paganism has litteraly nothing in common with the actual ancient paganism it's just some 60's hippie commune attempt to revive it, without actual knowledge about it.

That's an absolute Satanic lie.

AND CONSTANTINE BLOCKS THE PUNCHES WITH HIS EFFEMINATE HANDS
WILL HE GO ON THE OFFENSIVE?

Why did you say this? I'll say over 10000 Jesus prayer for you :3

Sakurahime loves her enemies

this. 'paganists' are just social rejects who yearn for a special snowflake religion to cling to - i.e. hippies or stormfags.

Why someone in their right mind would convert to a religion which doesn't even exist anymore, is beyond me.

NOW WE SEE SOME OFF-TRIP SHILLING FROM SAKURAHIME, THAT SHOULD KNOCK THE AIR OUT OF CONSTANTINE'S LUNGS

That wasn't me user

Let us all pray together so that Constie will see the error of her ways :3

ANATHEMA
ANATHEMA
ANATHEMA

Constie

Please stop believing that the Savior came from anal

That is wrong and insulting to the Panagia

Please stop committing sacrilege.

why believe in god when you can jack off and smoke weed instead

There can be only one.

WOW SAKURAHIME IS THROWING POWER PUNCHES ON CONSTANTINE AS FAST AS A BULLET TRAIN
WOAH
CONSTANTINE DELIVERED A DEVASTATING COUNTERCROSS ON SAKURAHIME'S JAW
SHE SEEMS DIZZY
SAKURAHIME KEEPS UP THE DEFENCE AND SLOWLY RECOVERS FROM THE HIT

CONSTANTINE SEEMS TO BE PERFORMING A ROCKY HERE

Who shall be...

Our most chaste, most modest, most virtuous....

Constie, believing the Theotokos did impure things is blasphemous :3

CONSTANTINE
LIGHT ON HIS FEET AND FULL OF ENERGY SEEMS TO BE BRINGING THR FIGHT TO SAKURAHIME
WHAT OUTCOME WILL THIS ENTAIL?

>>>/tumblr/

Oops wrong image.

Most pious ORTHOFU?

SAKURAHIME'S DEFENCE ISN'T HOLDING UP
CONSTANTINE HAS SEEN THROUGH HER TACTICS

user...weed is bad

But masturbation within marraige is ok :3

Don't do it to porn or other women

Your wife is your queen in marraige :3

user

I am the first amongst sinners :3

what if my wife used to be a porn star?

SAKURAHIME SEEMS DISTRACTED
WILL CONSTANTINE GO FOR THE HIT?

>wow so modest
Heart status: melted.

Wait why is weed bad

Surely the lord understands the need to toke up

let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

She must stop making porn

Do not go to porn today user

It is bad for your marraige

I said used to be a porn star. what is wrong with using her movies to fullfill my cuckold fetish when the sex happened before our marraige?

Tswift fucking sucks unless you're a leg-humping waifufag.

What if she only makes videos of us together and I use them when she is away? Is that fine?

Sakura won me. It's Patriarch of Constantinople then

Getting high is like getting drunk :3

Weed is good for medicinal purpose

user....cuckoid is wrong

You cannot enjoy infidelity >~<

I think so I guess

No cuckoid :3

Leave Ms. Swift alone.

>You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye
>implying christians can't judge other christians

WHAT IS THIS???
CONSTANTINE HAS BEEN KNOCKED OUT
I REPEAT ABSOLUTE K.O

AND NOW LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
I PROUDLY PRESENT THE WINNER OF THIS EVENT AND EARNER OF THE WOMEN'S HEAVYWEIGHT ORTHODOX CHAMPIONSHIP
SAKURAAAAHIMEEEEEEE

>Do not judge, or you will be judged. 2For with the same judgment you pronounce, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Anons

Let us pray Constantine will amend her ways :3

I hope she learns her mistake and returns to truth

I bet constantine is actually kind of upset right now. I remember one time someone debating her implied that Mary possibly raped God by not requesting her consent and she was like, begging and crying, lmao, for him to not speak of the virgin mary like that ooohh nooooo

Someone asserting that she thinks Jesus was an assbaby is actually making her upset enough to break out the trip, what a little pissbaby. Thanks random namefag.

Too much like Catholicism, seems like the clergy reap the most out of spiritual labor and laymen are greatly attent to their whim. I do admire orthodox tradition though. It's seems closer to the practices of early and medieval Christianity than it does in the West.

Why haven't you converted to Judaism?
It's the oldest Abrahamic Religion

Because "Judaism", as it is used today, means Phariseeism.

Wow repent Constie