Veeky Forums Humor thread, let's get going lads, I need to fill me folder

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>this triggers the orthodox

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youtube.com/watch?v=4ztOV2wrrkY

>that pictures
shut it down

I got you senpai

I laffed, better than the shit reposted in every thread here

an
>Veeky Forums History & Humanities
edit would be nice on this one

>not using v instead of u
6/10

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oc

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Kek

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pernicious milan

indeed

Imagine being the janitor on this board and having to be all like "damn, Anonymous, your memes' fuckin' fine, all epic with your rehashed content and horrific unoriginal jokes. I would totally use these memes, both on the internet and in real life." when all he really wants to do is troll another 16 year old on facebook. Like seriously imagine having to be the janitor and not only sit on this board while Anonymous flaunts his disgusting memes in front of you, the Yotsuba B layout barely concealing his putrid body odor and greasy skin, and just sit here, thread after thread, hour after hour, while he perfected that meme. Not only having to tolerate his monstrous fucking memeshit but his haughty attitude as everyone in the thread tells him he's WELL MEME'D, FRIEND and DAMN, Veeky Forums MEMES LOOK LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit here and watch his redditish fucking posts contort into types of autism you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been posting nothing but a healthy diet of historyfu threads and /map/ generals and later alleged "Empire" threads for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in /b/. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on his scraggly neckbeard as he sucks it in to chortle dismissively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to not get paid to sit here and revel in his "dank (for that is what he calls them)" memes, the memes he worked so hard for with personal trainers in the previous hours. And then the OP calls for another thread, and you know you could ban every single person on this board before the admin could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're the fucking janitor. You're not going to lose your future moderator career over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

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Nani?

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Does someone have the one where newton posts in ye old Veeky Forums in old english ?

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A reactionary, counterrevolutionary Vendean and Aristocrat was teaching a class on Joseph de Maistre, known ultramontane.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Christ the King and accept that absolute monarchs ruling by divine grace are the only righteous form of government, even greater than republicanism !”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, Grande Armee soldier who had fought over six coalitions and understood the necessity of revolutionary terror and fully supported the merciless execution of nobles and priests stood up and held up a copy of the Constitution of the Year I.

"Where is sovereignty vested, Citizen?"

The Aristocrat smirked and smugly replied “in the throne, you stupid jacobin”

”Wrong. Under the Republic, and then our fairly appointed Emperor Napoleon who rules by the will of the people, France has reached untold greatness and made herself the premier power in all of Europe. If, as you say, executive power rightly belonged to the royal family, then Louis XVIII should have been restored to his throne by now."

The Nobleman was visibly shaken, and dropped his fleur de lis and copy of Memoirs Illustrating the History of Jacobinism. He stormed out of the room crying those false royalist tears. The same tears royalists cry for the Dauphin” (who was imprisoned in such luxury that it took him two years to die).

The students applauded, joined the Jacobin Club that day and accepted Napoleon as l'Empereur. A revolutionary named “Marat” stumbled into the room and collapsed atop the arc de triomphe and bled on the Declaration of the Rights of Man. La Marseillaise was sung several times, and Robespierre himself showed up and enacted universal male suffrage.

The aristocrat was proscribed and hauled before the revolutionary tribunal the next day. He was guillotined and nothing happened after that because the afterlife is a myth created by the Church to keep free men and women under the despotism of the king.

A bearded, child-eating, tyrannical and perfidious Carthaginian Envoy and bum fucker was parleying with the Romans in the Forum and extolling the virtues of Hannibal, a known barbarian chieftain.

Before you surrender, you must get on your knees and worship Hannibal and accept that he is the greatest General the world has ever known, even greater than Alexander the Great!

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, true Roman centurion who had served 1500 battles and understood the savagery of the Barbarians and fully supported Cato the Elder's opinion that Carthage Must Be Destroyed held up his gladius.

"What do you call this weapon, Puno?

The arrogant Envoy smirked quite punicly and smugly replied "A Gladius"

The centurion then proceeded to stab the swarthy Carthaginian, after which he held aloft his sword and cried.

"ROME DEMANDS VICTORY FROM HER GENERALS, AND THIS DAY IS CLEARLY OUR VICTORY."

The envoy was visibly wounded, and dropped his bribe money and copy of the peace treaty. He stormed out of the room crying those duplicitous punic tears.

The citizens applauded and all signed up in the legions that day and supported continued war against Carthage. An eagle named "Pietas" flew into the room and perched atop the Roman Standard and shed tears of gold on it. The Sibilline books were read several times, and Romulus himself showed up and led Rome's Legions into war.

The Cathaginian exited the gates of hallowed Rome and died the next day and he was buried in a mass burial site only fit for homeless lepers and widows.

HEY KISAMAS,
WATASHI NO NAMAE WA ANANIMASU OFFU KAKUSU TO WATASHI WA KIRAI EVERY SINGLE ONE OF ANATA. ALL OF ANATA ARE FAT, BAKA BAKA NO-LIFES WHO SPEND EVERY SECOND OF MAINICHI MITEIRUING AT BAKA PICTURES. ANATA WA SUBETE THAT IS WARUI IN THE SEKAI. HONTO NI, HAVE ANY OF ANATA EVER GOTTEN ANY NEKO? I MEAN, WATASHI GUESS IT'S TANOSHI MAKING FUN OF HITOS BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN UNKAWAIINESS, BUT MINNA TAKE IT TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL. KORE WA WORSE THAN ONANI-ING TO PICTURES ON HESUBUUKU.

SHIRANAI HITO JA NAI DESHO? JUST HIT WATASHI AND BE SURE TO GANBARIMASU. WATASHI WA PRETTY MUCH PAAFEKUTO. WATASHI WAS AMERIKAN FUTBORU NO CAPTAIN, TO WATASHI WAS HAJIMASHTATER ON WATASHI NO BASUKETOBOORU TEAM. DONNA SUPOTSU DO ANATA ASANBOU, OTHER THAN "ONANI TO NAKED DRAWN NIPPONJIN"? WATASHI MO GET HOMO JA NAI A'S, TO WATASHI HAS A BANGING KAWAII SHOJO (KANOJO WA BLOWJOB WO SHIMASHITA; KUSO WA HONTO NI CASH.) ANATA WA ALL KISAMAS DARE SHOULD JUST KOROSU THEMSELVES. DOMO ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU FOR LISTENING.
(SONO PIC WA RELATED DESU, ARE WA WATASHI TO WATASHI NO ONNA)

>be 13
>I admire Robespierre so much
>I know all his quotes
>All evenings I pray to Robespierre
>I thank him for the Republic that we've been given, by our Creator
>"Robespierre is love, Robespierre is the Revolution", I say
>My father gets mad and calls me a faggot
>He's jealous of my devotion to the Terror
>He slaps me and sends me to my room
>I cry because it hurts
>I lie on my bed
>A warmth is moving towards me
>I feel something touch me
>It's Maximilien Marie Isidore de Robespierre
>I am so happy
>He whispers in to ear, "it's time for Terror"
>He makes me lie down on the bed
>I'm ready
>I spread my ass cheeks for the Revolution
>He penetrates me with his incorruptible dick
>It hurts, but I do it for la Republique
>I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
>He pushes farther
>I want to please Maximilien
>He roars "Despotism!" while he fills me with his fraternity
>My dad walks in
>Maximilien looks him in the eye and says "The Revolution is the war of liberty against its enemies."
>He leaves through my window
>Maximilien Robespierre is life, Maximilien Robespierre is the Revolution
>Next morning, I find my dad decapitated

I think he just means history related memes.

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>capital vol 3

kek

Anyone got the extended Christian dark ages meme?

How is this one?

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my fucking sides

ive got an even better one, although it isnt a meme

Somebody post the one with "sick fanfiction"

I like this one.

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10/10

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Why is the nigga wearing Hungarian crown?

Why do you guys hate Martin Luther? The idea of commercial indulgences is fucking ridiculous.

LARPing

fuck off back reddit

no seriously

>The envoy was visibly wounded
holy kek

Triggering /pol/acks.

A Cao Wei general and veteran of the Jingzhou campaign was teaching a class on Cao Cao, statesman and posthumous first emperor of Wei.

"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Cao Cao, acknowledging that he was the greatest general that China has ever known, even greater than Zhuge Liang!"

At this moment, a brave, patriotic soldier of Shu who had served in all of the expeditions from the Qishan Hills and understood the godlike abilities of Zhuge Liang and fully supported Emperor Liu Shan as the Han Emperor stood up, showing a map of Wu.

"How does one defeat Wu and reunite China?"

The arrogant general smirked like a foreign pigdog and smugly replied: "You invade with a large army in concert with a large fleet, you stupid Han supporter."

"Wrong. If that was true, Cao Cao wouldn't have been defeated by Zhuge Liang in the Battle of Red Cliffs and let live only by the mercy of Guan Yu."

The general was visibly shaken and dropped his ink brush and copy of Cao Cao's plagiarized book of strategy. He stormed out of the room crying those Cao crocodile tears. The same tears cry for the Wei Emperor (who today lives in luxury while Sima Yi controls the empire) when they blame the loss of Red Cliffs on bad timing. There is no doubt at this point our general, Cao Ren, wished that he had pulled himself out of his bootstraps and defeated Liu Bei at Xiangyang before Red Cliffs. He wished so much that he had a sword to slit his own throat from embarrassment, but it had been confiscated by the Simas!

The students all applauded and decided to move to Chengdu and accepted Liu Shan as their emperor. A young phoenix named Pang Tong flew into the room and perched atop the banner of Liu Bei and shed a tear on the Art of War. Zhuge Liang himself showed up and revealed the necessity of fire use in battle before revealing the rest of the school was ablaze.

A neoliberal capitalist burgeois eurocentrist professor and Armed Forces General graduated in the School of the Americas was teaching a class on Benjamin Franklin, known Yankee imperialist.

"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship the United States of America and accept the globalized Free Market as your only religion".

At this moment, a brave young man that had read "Open Veins of Latin America" and listened to 15 000 hours of the national government network stood up and held up a rock.

Whose rock is this?

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "since it was inside the faculty, it's the faculty's property, stupid leftist".

"False. If the entire university's executive comitee has benefited from the work done by the workers that built the faculty... the rock belongs to the people."

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of "Capitalism and Freedom". He stormed out of the room crying those neoliberal crocodile tears.

The students applauded and all changed their first and last names to native american words that day. Che Guevara's silhouette apearred on everybody's t-shirt and shed a single tear. Several american flags where burned that day and Bolivar himself appeared and declared the reunification of all of Latin America as the New Great Colombia.

The professor was fired the next day and all his posessions where expropiated.

Kek

fucking kek

>A revolutionary named “Marat” stumbled into the room and collapsed atop the arc de triomphe and bled on the Declaration of the Rights of Man

This is some quality fucking pasta

reddit tier

Never get old. Sound better in french tough.
>it is time for terror.

Hey, remember when we had a board-tan for about a month?

Of course it is. But being a complete autist about it is even worse.

>an unlocked gate in the
>JEWISH
>sector

We had a board-tan?

Good effort.
Very well done.

Can someone do a islamist one against a shia or an atheist?

>had
We just don't have a thread dedicated to drawing him like some stupid autists.

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A Persian Zoroastrian homosexual cataphract horseman and fire worshipper was teaching a class on Zoroaster, known heathen.

"Before class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Zarathursta and accept he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!"

At this moment a brave, patriotic, pro-Nicaean Roman centurion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decisions made by the Emperor of Constantiniple stood up and held a sealed envelope.

"What are the contents of this letter, pinhead?"

The arrogant professor smirked quite despotically and smugly replied "the letter from Khosrau to Kardarigan, ordering Shahrbaraz's death, which you intercepted and used to win the last war."

"Wrong. It's a letter from Muhammad, and I haven't actually read it yet."

At that moment, 20,000 Muslims burst into the room and beheaded them both. All the nations from Spain to India were conquered, and all of their subjects converted to Islam. Mankind entered a dark age, and Orthodoxy and Zoroastrianism were removed to the far corners of the Earth, where they languish in obscurity.

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I... need to cry for a moment

yeah the guy definitely was autistic

i laughed

Bullshit. All Italy did during the world wars was to get owned by shit tier European nations like Greece and Austria-Hungary.

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What is the context of this?

A backward, moronic and unwashed farsi was teaching a class on ali, known heretics.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and ali, the greatest caliph that the entire islamic world has ever known!”

At this moment, a brave, pious muhajideen who had beheaded 1500 alawite and understood the necessity of jihad fi sabil Allah and would give his life for Ibn Taymiyyah stood up and held up a copy of the quran.

”How important is the The Twelve Imams, munafiqun?”

The arrogant persian smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “It is the soul of the Islamic faith, you stupid bedouin.”

”Wrong. Everyone knows that the Shahada is the true creed of Allah. If Islam was about The Twelve Imams… then we would all be guilty of shirk by now.”

The persian was visibly shaken, he dropped his chalk and his hummus. He stormed out of the room crying those persian crocodile tears. The same tears shiite cry for the zindiks heretics while they were righteously purged. There is no doubt that at this point our savafid sultan shah ismail wished he had pulled himself up by his turban and become more than just a poorly disguished persian nationalist. He wished so much that he had a bomb to martyr himself, but he himself had made his islamic way of life into a jahilliyah parody of itself!

All the students applauded and accepted wahhabism as the only true version of Islam. The Prophet himself (pbuh) showed up and shed tears on how well preserved his teachings were and how there wasn't even a single person in sight named Ali or Haidar. The Quran was recited several times, and Allah himself showed up and executed Ali and every shiite kufr that ever lived.

>and how there wasn't even a single person in sight named Ali or Haidar
kek

>that black soldier
WE WUZ ROMANS N SHIIIIIEEEEET

Praise Kek the Christ.

>Veeky Forums posters

>nobody noticed he was making a Civilization joke

even then it makes no sense because the Med is always all or mostly coast tiles in Civ

> They refer to the Netherlands as "low countries"

FUCK YOU WE WERE AN IMPORTANT KINGDOM REEEEEEEEEEEE
THE NETHERLANDS WERE IN CHARGE STOP FUCKING PRETENDING THE OTHER LOWLANDS HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT, THEY CAN'T EVEN TRADE AROUND A SUNKEN SHIP IN THEIR HARBOUR

WE FUCKING REKT SPAIN AND RULED SHIT ACROSS THE PLANET,
SAY IT WITH ME,
NETHERLANDS, NETHERLANDS, NETHERLANDS!
JE MAINTIENDRAI NIGGERS

>not ending it with "furthermore I submit that Carthage should be destroyed"

PAISES

BAJOS

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WE DIDN'T FUCKING KICK YOUR ASS SO YOU COULD DECIDE WHAT OUR NAME WAS, CUNT. GO SUCK A MOOR'S COCK, SPANJE

anyone got the 'im tsar ferdinand and this is jackass' one?

my fucking sides

HOLANDA

I came here to laugh, not to feel

the fuck do you think "nether" means?

HOLLAND ISN'T EVEN THE FUCKING COUNTRY YOU FUCKING SPAINAL LOVING FAGGOT, IT'S JUST TOO PROVINCES YOU CORDOBAN CUMSLUT.
GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OVER HERE AND SUCK MY MASSIVE DIKE