A friend of a friend has set you up on a date with a rather handsome young gentlemen (pic related).
Unfortunately for you, you're a God fearing Christian. Regardless of whether or not you would enjoy an evening of brutal sodomy with Christian Von Assfucker, it is not worth an eternity in hell.
The only way you can influence your date to dislike you and save yourself from sin, is to make an exceptionally off putting choice of what car you will use for taking him to the restaurant.
Rusty 1984 Ford Tempo with a broken exhaust and no floorboards.
>Von Assfucker
lmao
Andrew Parker
That guy is exceptionally unattractive in the face.
Logan Brooks
It's probably the facial fat. When you really look at someone's face, almost 9/10 times it can be improved by not being fat. It pains me when I see landwhale girls that could be smoking hot if they just didn't eat so damn much.
Oh well.
Noah Nelson
looks like he's british or something
Nathaniel Bailey
The only thing that women care about is money, so I'm sure he's doing just fine in that department
Jose Reyes
...
Christian White
Rusted out AE85. It's ugly, slow, and lacks all luxury, but doesn't come off as gay.
I hope you saved trunk space for lube.
Jaxson Myers
>is to make an exceptionally off putting choice of what car you will use for taking him to the restaurant An automatic V6 Mustang. For good measure I'll lose to a BRZ at the lights while dropping hints that it's leased the whole way.
Ryder Mitchell
Fiero f40 replace bondo with lead
Logan Garcia
>what happens when you watch Alex Jones without proper judgement Not even an ounce.
Ethan Scott
any other answer is wrong
Henry Howard
Ford Mustang with Ecoboost.
I would rather be in hell tbqhwyf
Connor Barnes
clapped out scion xB
Evan Myers
...
Jeremiah Robinson
It'll blow the engine after 6 miles, absolutely ruining any chances I may have had up to that point.
Adrian Jones
He's an autocross enthusiast. You are teh raped.
Ryder Myers
he's gonna bend you over the hood and go to town after you break down.
maybe not the best choice
Tyler Jackson
A Fiero with a Ferrari 348 body kit.
Mason Gonzalez
>watching alex jones >being such a conservitard that you believe anything alex jones says is applicable to anything ever
Hunter Rodriguez
I'm a girl so I don't drive
Hunter Lopez
...
Ethan Evans
I used to laugh at Alex Jones then reality became crazier than fucking conspiracies and somehow he ends up telling the truth in the last 2-3 years.
Funny how that works
Hunter Martinez
He was like 'hurr minimal input' in the lead up to the presidential debate, then once it started he wouldn't shut his fucking mouth. For that I'll never forgive him.
Liam Butler
>"""""girl""""" Being a trap/trans doesn't count
Grayson Wood
>brand spanking new leased crossover with FWD only and a CVT >silver paint job >rosary hanging on the rear view mirror
Dylan Peterson
This
Charles Lee
Can't resist to that dose pipe.
>Von Assfucker lmao
Benjamin Howard
James Bond villains are making cars now?
Blake Morgan
If only I could be so grossly patriotic
David Hill
we can discuss the folly of capitalism on way to meal hall
Cameron Garcia
that would certainly stop me from riding anywhere with you
Luis Thompson
a honda cr-v
Joshua Nguyen
I went to a different feed like 2 minutes in.
Kayden Evans
Probably something like this
Carter Lee
This is why you buy the all new aluminum-body Ford F150.
Mason White
I'd strip the interior out of my rusted out Prelude so he would have to sit on the bare metal floor and I'd have this playing on loop at max volume.
not that guy, but a pickup with a 4 ft bed? are you TRYING to get raped by chris von assfucker?
atleast you could do some actual work with that 8ft chevy bed and retain your asshole
Kevin James
A fiero with a really terrible Agera bodykit, and I mean bad enough that the name is misspelled on the side, and that the wheels are painted black to pretend it's cf. Then spend the whole ride to the restaurant insisting it's the real thing.
Angel Flores
A ~2001 f150. Dull, boring, and no personality.
Eli Kelly
>implying you can't get an F150 with an 8' bed
Kevin Reed
You mean like the one I'm sitting in?
>except auto I guess Does the manual really make a difference though... I mean really. I tell myself it does but it probably doesn't.
Cooper Reyes
Oh god yes, ive driven one of these for pizza delivery as a teen, the thing had a foot of shifter travel between gears and 10 second delay between pressing the gas pedal and something actually happening, also no brakes or suspension travel.
Carson Martin
09 Dodge Caliber SXT in all pink, even the interior. Big nigger donk rims, a dukes of hazard horn, and a TV in the dash. Fuzzy dice keychain, a steering wheel cover that looks like a tire and a CVT transmission.
Other option is a BMW 5 series with an M badge on it.
Hudson Kelly
>V6 mustang >radar detector
wishful thinking
Eli Hill
>haven't gotten a speeding ticket in 2 years >got detector 2 years ago >only ticket I have on record is 63 in a 40 from my last car
Butthurt faggot?
Eli Kelly
The worst part is that its a v6 mustang, a fucking sonata is faster than that piece of shit
Isaac Jenkins
You're pretty much just backing up what I was implying
Eli Clark
No it isn't. I've beaten a sonata by bus lengths, my v6 is procharged you homo
Alexander Price
I've used a radar detector in every car I've owned since I bought that one including SUVs what's your fucking point niggerlover
Matthew Martin
Bread under hood.
Aiden Harris
>needs a procharger just to make 0-60 under ten seconds
Just try to race a v6 sonata, not a poorfag 4 cylinder
Asher King
Post what you drive bitch I bet its a piece of shit
Ryder Baker
That a V6 mustang is incapable of breaking the speed limit
Easton Gomez
Try 5 seconds retard. Stock a v6 does 6.5-7 seconds
You've never driven one to say that. Post what you have faggot, till then you're a busrider or some civic homo I beat every stop light
Noah Evans
Bread. Under. Hood. Or do you have as much fat in your eyes as you do your old man jeans?
Jackson Diaz
I'll take the time to get out and post it when you post your car you writhing homosexual nigger
Jayden Nelson
I'm not even the same person. I'm just calling you out for bullshit since you think your shitty 90s mustang even went 0-60 in 7 seconds. Stop claiming gt times in your poorfag car.
Carson Butler
You really are retarded GTs are 5 seconds as well.
Post car before I go to class and I'll open my hood in the middle of a fcking parking lot to prove to some faggot on the internet I had $3000 and a weekend
Adam Hughes
Also it's an 04 not 90s learn cars better autism/o/
Bentley Campbell
A 2006 PT Cruiser
Charles Brooks
>learn cars better >says the fatass that thinks a v6 mustang is fast Kek. Fuck off trailer park.
Nicholas King
Guess your not posting your car busrider. Off to uni, hope you die of cancer.
Liam Collins
>whaaaa people said my car was shit so that means they're all as poor as me >better go full autistic and be a keyboard warrior Get to walking mcfatfuck.
John Peterson
Easy to talk shit when you have literally no evidence of who you are or what you have.
In my head, you're a nigger, busrider, gay, fat as shit and have no money. Do you expect me to get offended by you or feel sorry for you lmfaoooooo
Jace Reed
Can't believe this dude is seriously trying to brag about his V6 mustang.
Charles Taylor
>m-muh mustang is procharged >p-post your car y-you busrider Always the fat poor people with their hilarious damage control. >i-im not offended >proceeds to be an insecure racist faggot while hoping I go away because your shitstang is completely stock Hurry to class fatty, don't miss that next grammar lesson.
Luke Wright
But it's PROCHARGED!
John Morales
Still not posting your bus route
John Wood
I don't have to post shit when you're too much of a retard to be able to backup your lies.
Ethan Barnes
Samefag
Cameron Flores
Can't post something I don't have
Wyatt Wright
you have a THE v6 mustang, one of the worst mustangs ever made. Only women drive them or faggots who think "OOOOOHHH, it's a mustang!"
Evan Martinez
So you walk. At least you're burning off them love handles nigger
Christian Clark
When did I say it's a v6?
Luke Rivera
This guy is trying to call anyone else fat. Kek. >so fat you have to get stretchy old man jeans
Levi Smith
6'5 200lbs Yourr an absolute Manlet if you think that's fat
Julian Long
>more lies I guess those meth fumes at the trailer park got to you.
Christian James
A stanced Nissan Silvia S14
Jason Ward
Are you crazy? That will get all the faggots flocking to your dick.
Nathan Gomez
I choose a Kenworth with a soundproofed windowless sleeper whose pax side airbag I've modified to contain a sheet of fiberglass cloth holding many lead balls. I have a concealed switch.
This is all legit per OP because it's my choice of vehicle and therefore vehicle-installed dissuasion technologies.
I modified the pax side seat belt so it will not release. I've placed windshield washer nozzles and a manifold in the headliner aimed at the passenger's face. I have my gas mask under my seat. A can of bear spray is connected to the nozzles using a can piercer for old style refridgerant cans. The passenger seat is on a post mount, step-van style, but hinges backward and is spring-loaded. The latch is operated by a linkage going to a handle on my left. Also at my left is a seat holster for a PR24 baton whose extension is replaced with stainless steel bar stock.
I'm a Christian and my God REALLY hates fags.
Assbandit sits and buckles his seat belt because caring me insists. (If not, my K-whopper will mace him and beat his ass anyway.) We drive off and I fire the airbag knocking him out and/or injuring him enough to take him out of the fight. I unlatch the seat and he slams rearward to the steel floor which I've thoughtfully equipped with a steel plate for easy cleanup and rubber coated D-rings with handcuffs. I pull over and cuff him to the floor. My KW is equipped with a dental speculum custom made by me so it's strong enough to break tire beads. I open his mouth and insert one of the steel ball gags in my wall mounted Christian Fun Kit.
I have still not tried to dissuade him from wanting sex. He can dissuade himself while contemplating his situation.
My Lovemobile is towing a portable car crusher with an un-crushed windowless van chain-bindered in place.
We drive to my rural property and park. My choice of vehicle will retain him for about four days with no food or water so he's too exhausted to fight. (to be continued)
Gabriel Barnes
(continued) While praying for his soul I winch him into the van using the jib crane mounted winch. (String cable through van, hit buttom, he'll move...)
I forgive him all his trespasses because that's the right thing to do. Then I open the valves to crush the van slowly. I crush a few other vehicles and let the van sit among them until it stops stinking.
I scrap the lot then go about the rest of my business.
Hunter Diaz
That's not a lie idiot
Jordan Kelly
Koenigsegg Agera
Josiah Diaz
Damn, how can you handle that fire breathing 150whp?