/ss13g/ - spessmen on a spess station

I was wondering as well, unless he is night shift

>that captain
I wish being that clueless and terrible could get someone headbanned. Borderline griefing security.

Play along with the thread!

Also non dead thread reminder that PJB is the ONLY ONE who can turn the panic bunker on and is too busy advertising us on reddit to do so.

>grab an intellicard
>hang out at the bar
>10 minutes later xenos are showing up and the captain refuses to call it
>run away, crying for security to help but they never show up
>move to cargo which is broken open and try to make a flamethrower
>random treenigger sec officer shows up chorals me and drags me to maint
>wake up, scream that im being kidnapped but suddenly all of sec is there in the dark of maint doing nothing
>they drag me to random places until he finally reaches the brig and buckles me, grabs my stuff, tells me im set to arrest but doesn't know why
>xeno shows up, facehugs an officer, eats him and crawls back into maint while the diona shoots tasers at it
>runs away and leave me to die, xeno comes back and kills me
>check logs
>someone was at a certain point setting everyone who touched maint to arrest

shitcurity is the best

Weren't people in the thread just last week talking about how low our server pop is and how much we're stagnating and how close the server is to death?

I TOLD YOU TO MAKE A FUCKING FEATURE REQUEST YOU NIGGER

youtu.be/pIiBB1dA-3o?t=5m35s

They're fucking wrong. The most fun on this server is at lowpop.

You're fucking wrong. The most fun on this server is at highpop.

pastebin.com/Tt8YZWtX
here
i'm a bit rusty so it might be shit, but i tried to make something that could be taken seriously

>Be Gary
>Rage cage is built by Fritz
>See Frank inside, lay down some rules
>No pushing, fists only
>He agrees and we start fighting
>Aim for the groin for increased knockdown chance
>Uppercut him in the balls and watch as he drops to the floor
>Start stomping on him American History X style
>Frank gets back up and starts taking me to the cleaners
>He has be on the electric grilles, fight's not looking good for me
>Captain throws in a knife
>Grab it with the intention of throwing it outside the cage
>Accidently stab Frank
>he disarms me and grabs the knife, I think it's going to plunge it into my chest, but instead he throws it out of the cage
>my nigga
>Security comes in and breaks it up
>They take Frank and I to medbay
>we're both pretty fucked up, but I got it worse
>Doc does surgery on my broken skull
>Exit medbay, see more rage cagers dead in the lobby
>Go back to where I belong... The Cage.
>See a guy with a spear and another spear on the floor
>Make the same deal, no pushing, spears only
>He Agrees and we commence the spear fight
>Best him and win the fight, he's in critical or dead
>Another greysuit jumps in, grabs the spear and we start fighting
>Motherfucking FRANK enters the cage and takes out the other greysuit while we're both shocked from the grille
>It's time to finish our fight
>A short but intense spear fight commences, with Frank getting some good shots on me
>Frank falls down from blood loss and I stab him in the face
>ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!
>IS THERE ANYBODY THAT CAN FACE GARY'S WRATH?
>Some random walks in, pushes me down first try and spears me to death

That's the way she goes boys... the way she goes.

The solution is to let the serb get to high pop, and then have pomf host a second serb to be low pop.

lord

>PJB is the ONLY ONE who can turn the panic bunker on
You keep saying that and I have no idea why, because unless something changed very recently, it's completely false

...

no text shows up for me on this server but it does for me on others. how do i fix htis?

install internet explorer?

What OS are you on?
What version of Internet Explorer do you have?

Quick user, the new players are coming and we all need to become robust.

Tell us something only you know.

radium and hyro in a single pill cure viruses instantly

space lube the floor with a space cleaner bottle, aim for the mouth, and stab with spear

Directly sawing off limbs leave people in pain crit wild ride.

print a bible if you're a tator and hide shit in it. bonus points for hiding said bible in your survival box

The clown can be your biggest ally, or greatest enemy. This is decided by how you first interact with him, regardless of how he acts to you.

youtube.com/watch?v=wjyNrGUD2SI

Windows XP

>radium and hyro
Not only everyone knows about this but your method is fucking shit, too.

Slipping someone and then force feeding them a monkey cube restores their hunger all the way! Seriously, slip and force feed monkey cubes when their is no chef.

>destroying hacked apcs still don't increase the milf timer

oh no, was it shit?
i tried to do a good writefaggotry for you /ss13g/

It did last I tried.

Everything about abusing your way out of a virus is shit and should be removed.

It's the underlying cancer in the game that you pick a job and someone else just does it because of shortsighted coding.

uhm
that is literally how you're supposed to make antibodies

A circlejerk over really bad pornography written for each other is not the same as enjoying stories. I'm sorry.

If it makes you feel better the people you wanted to impress are terrible.

welcome to the working life. I've ran out of stamina to play games, myself. It's why I just spectate every round.

Whats the point of working if we don't have energy to do anything else?

You know its funny how ""they"" can spend all this money on upgrading business technology, yet they can't even invent a way to make workers not sleepy. baka.

pneumatic cannons can be used to force feed people monkey cubes from a distance. 3-4 hits and they should have ate an entire cube.

>Tell us something only you know.
But then I wouldn't be the only one to know it

How do I speak over general radio using a different language?

Don't.

manually set your language through the ic tab, the verb is known languages or something involving language. After that just speak over the radio normally.

;:v caw skree chirp lol birdb buirf :3 :v

Fat people can eat monkeys
Even monkey people
Even changeling monkies

shards that bump into other shards make them both explode.

after a fat person eats 100 monkeys, they gain the ability to eat people when?

wyci

New poster?

NICK
WELLER

Ambrosia Deus blunts inherit the bio luminescence colour of the plant for when they are lit

PURPLE GLOW

more like
DICK
SMELLER

HAH

He flipped shit in the admin chat and made it so only people with sekrit repo access (very few people - no admins) could toggle it.

I'll add it tomorrow

post it in an issue so you can take credit

>29326▶
>
free kingston

>walk in maint
>see this
>air isn't getting out
>???

(You)

Bug repoort

...

admin autism at max capacity tbqh

You know what happened the first time I told people something only I knew about?
Cuban Pete got nerfed. Like five fucking times.
Then I told people about handpicking.
And spiritbreaker in asspies.
Then some idiot mentioned IV drips in the thread.
Fuck off, my secrets are all mine now. If you say them, some dipshit coder WILL eventually see them and the flagpole up his ass WILL lightly quease in discomfort and they WILL NOT rest until every trace of it is destroyed.
Wanna know what?
It works.
Every robust trick I discovered and use nowadays, I don't tell anybody about. If I ever tell anyone about it, I NEVER SAY IT IN THE THREAD FUCK'S SAKE
And it works. None of them ever got "fixed".

>And spiritbreaker in asspies.
That genuinely needed to be removed, though.

cool

>get shit from Eva
>get confronted by a random sec dude all suspicious of a mechanic that has access to EVA regardless of starting access
>get equipment anyway for space expedition.
get everything then finall the Hand tele and set the destination to escape so i can get back to station.
>same sec dude sees me and I jump through portal, then I fly out of the airlock to escape.
>find goon code station and explore it.
>find cyber horror and look around for my gun
>realized I got caught up with escaping I forgot to get one.
>horror wants to succ me
>panic and open portal to escape, horror flies in along wiht his buds.
>hatch idea to open portals into space and get horrors to fly in, have trouble doing it along the way to code.
>fucking more horros see me
>want succ
>panic AGAIN and hit "z"
>notice Im not moving then out of sheer fear, hit OK
>opens portal to station again after the horrors break windows and shit to get to me.
>all of them fly in and the beacon that I was locked to flys right through.
>Im stuck on a goonstation with no way home.
>get code, leave and wait until I can get comms signal to ask ai to change teleporter dest
>got comms, sent message, back at station with code and the station is freaking out because I let horros roam the station and I guess other shit happened
>I finally realized what I did.

Im sorry everyone but you were sacrificed for the goon code

free kingston
free kingston
king freeston

>nobody ever makes these
>nobody ever uses this
>
>
>
>OH SHIT SOMEBODY POSTED IT IN THE THREAD WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK NERF NOW
>it genuinely needed to be removed :)

why not play on goone

It did.

:)

Been away from ss13 for like a year. Whats new?

What's "Goon Code Station"?

Cuban Pete was always awful

I don't remember handpicking

Spiritbreaker in asspies should have never been merged but collaborators aren't perfect

IVs accepting non liquid containers is retarded.

I love a good powergay but bitching that people find exploits and remove them isn't going to stop people from removing retarded shit.

>you can escape from perma with only the things inside perma
>broken lightbulbs can break windows
>galoshes+crayon results in normal, colored shoes
>you can hide items in plants, sheet racks, and toilets (use crowbar on toilet)
>the neurotoxin bartender drink really is neurotoxin and can be put into space beer bottles
these aren't exactly top secret but its very rare to see anyone else doing them

lol, drugs in pies is so fucking old and was done to death on goon like 2 years ago. same for IV drip fuckery. i dunno what "handpicking" is though.

>but bitching that people find exploits and remove them isn't going to stop people
Please I urge you to run to the store and buy some reading comprehension because the single point of the entire post that I stated multiple times is that the thing that does stop people from fixing them is not telling anyone about them

>you can escape from perma with only the things inside perma
not anymore
thank celt ;^]

>Then I told people about handpicking.
>And spiritbreaker in asspies.
>Then some idiot mentioned IV drips in the thread.

since they're already nerfed why dont you explain these?

i did it like 2 days ago, was it changed since? ive been permabanned since so can't check without setting my evasion vm up (free kingston)

You used to be able to chili it up but now space instantly makes you fall asleep even with assloads of chili.

post changelog?

also are you sure you remembered to take the dex/inaprov from the medkit in execution? that's important.

Xenoarcheology used to be easily done by hand picking once, then clearing with a pickaxe.
asspies used to contain spiritbreaker, a horrific version of mindbreaker from which death is no escape.
There's a PR open limiting what items can be put in IV drips.

space is safer than the station

why the fuck do we even have fire extinguishers?
there is never a fire unless there's plasma in the air and then you can go ahead and use that fire extinguisher to jetpack your way to the derelict, your new home
in the exceedingly rare occasion that somebody uses napalm you are also fucked because an open flame instantly turns the entire room into an oven, the only reason why foam extinguishers even get used is because they can magically make gas cool down to 0 kelvin

bashing heads in and extinguishing people who don't know how to stop drop and roll

Yeah two people have reported this issue and both were on XP
Download the newest version of IE
If that doesn't work, stop using a fucking fifteen-year-old OS

Foam extinguishers can lower the temp in a room, useful after a fire.

i was kind of maybe talking about the non-foam ones
you know the ones that there are more than 3 of in the station

That's him, Cluster, and Sood, at least.

>sheet racks,
you can what now?

>Captain throws in a knife
ahahahah holy shit that fucking piece of shit captain!
he was being a fuckwit across the entire station

why the fuck do office buildings have them in real life?
why the fuck do we have all that paper and all those filing cabinets if absolutely nobody touches them on a bet?
why the fuck are there so many potted plants and square feet of wood flooring on an industrial space station?
why the fuck does the service department even exist?
why the fuck do we not just replace it with more maintenance and toys?
why the fuck does anyone play a role other than traitor or security officer?
why the fuck aren't we just playing counterstrike?

if you have the bite ability aiming at someones arm and trying to bite them will chomp it straight off in one clean go

there is an energy axe in the vault safe of Defficiency

>why the fuck do office buildings have them in real life?
in real life, they work