Portugal

>dudeweedlmao
what?

fought the dutch many times

>We gave up our last colony (Goa, India) on 1999...
>We're among the top 10 most evil empires in history

It's a nice place to live but we didn't catch up to the industrial revolution and a lot of other shit so now we're the poorest country in Western Europe

> no towels

There were loads of Portuguese in South Africa. I had a girl in my class insist that she wasn't just ordinary Portuguese, her family was from Madeira.

I never did get how being from some shitty rock in the Atlantic made you more special. I get the same vibe from Channel Islanders, too.

Apparently inbreeding makes you special. Well, I guess it makes you "special" at any rate.

>>We gave up our last colony (Goa, India) on 1999...
you're mixing goa with macau, china.

regionalism is strong in portugal. people like to say they're from the north or the south, despite being just a mere 8 hour trip from one place to the other

Living in an Island so far away from the Continent, especially in a rustic and not so developed country, meant you got an unique identity and culture for centuries. Even today it's not cheap to travel to/from the islands

Are Portuguese Muslim ?

no.

I'm Jewish personally.

d. manuel expulsou-te

Alcazarquivir, 1578
Just fuck my rojalty up.
Cue 80 years of spanish control over the country.

Yes. Lisbon is considered a holy city in Islam second only to Mecca. Every Portuguese individual learns to recite the Quran by heart from childhood and will put Arabs to shame when on vacation in Mecca, etc. Some Portuguese scholars claim that Muhammad was Portuguese.

Everyone just converted.

King Phillip IV of Frane petitioned to Pope Clement V to disband the Templars because he could pay them back. Plus the Pope was getting worried about a parallel Christian institution other than the Vatican in the West so he agreed. That commenced the persecution of Templars.

King Denis I of Portugalwas grateful for them for their aid in the reconquista, petitioned the Pope to allow Templar forces in Portugal to be absorbed by the state. Thus was born the Military Order of Christ.
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Order_of_Christ_(Portugal)
This allowed Portugal to absorb the Templar navy as well. They went on expeditions and were believed to discover Brazil early on before 1500. That was back when the Papal Bull split East and West between Spain and Portugal, so Portugal renegotiate for the treaty of Tordesillas and sent Pedro Alvares Cabral on an official expedition to "discover" Brazil.

Portugal and England have the world oldest alliance this enforce. It started way back in the formation of Portugal during the reconquistas where English bowmen proved useful.
Being situated next to Spain. A neighbor desperate to annex Portugal and English rival only strengthened the relationship.
It was the Portuguese who introduced the custom of drinking tea to England.
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catherine_of_Braganza
In 1870, the British in their desire to build a "cape to Cairo" railroad had the Portuguese colony in their way. They eternal Anglo'd the Portuguese by demand all between Angola and Mozambique or face war. The Portuguese had no choice.

The Anglo-Portuguese alliance is still in effect, all probably against the better judgement of Portugal. Never trust the eternal Anglo.

...

Moãohama WAS portugese (bad hygeine and unkempt facial hair be upon him)

t. Alberto Barbossa

>countryballs

Henry of Navarre made Europe actually relevant by colonizing the azores and kickstarting colonialism

what??

>redditballs

De-colonization was pretty interesting. The fascist government had pretty much achieved military victory in it's colonial war. After the revolution, lead by army officers upset over unfair promotion policies, the democratic government pulled back from Africa like snap and it enjoyed alright relations with those former colonies.

Angola, I recall, fell into civil war after several political parties opposed the party that the now democratic Portuguese Republic left in power.

Both the mainland and the former colonies got governments with socialist leanings.

He is referring to decriminalization of drug consumption. You can't trade, and they'll confiscate stashes, but you won't be persecuted for having it for yourself. Makes it easier for you to try detoxing because the gov won't give you flak for it. It was a measure meant to put a lid on the then growing AIDS problem (needle-sharing). It worked on that end.

Goa and Macau weren't treated badly, relatively to other colonies and other colonial powers. Even the African cities were sort of OK, it was just the rural blacks that got the short end of it. And the mainland Portuguese hicks too, of course. The fascist government was allergic to industrialization because of the Red Scare. Boy, did that backfire.

Pretty much everywhere had civil war. Moçambique and Guiné-Bissau only stopped their wars in the 90's.

Does anyone really like to say they are from the south or center? Maybe the guys from Alentejo, but other than the Norte, I don't get the impression our regions have very strong identities.

People from Alentejo definitely like saying where they're from. I get that impression from the people from the Oeste Region (i.e. cities other than Lisbon), and also Margem Sul. But yeah internationally people will just say they're portuguese unless they're from Madeira, Açores or maybe more rarely the North.

Soon after the revolution, there was a discussion of what to do with Cape Verde. Lots of important dudes like Mário Soares actually felt Cape Verde should remain a part of Portugal as an autonomous region like Açores and Madeira.

Can you compatriots imagine how that would've turned out?

Wouldn't have been that bad. Cabo Verde is like one the least corrupt and most developed countries in Africa. Most of their population lives abroad (either in the US or in Portugal), anyway.

Do we have any other region that is the butt of many jokes or is that just Alentejo? I can't think of any jokes regarding another regional stereotype, right now.

Yeah people don't really make fun of the Beira or the Ribatejo. We could make more Algarve jokes, honestly, the alentejanos really have it bad and they don't deserve it. Al-garve however is the perfect butt for any joke.

It also looks really pretty. Reminds of a Caribbean nation, sort of.

Could've been our Aruba/Curaçao desu.

>People from Alentejo definitely like saying where they're from
Only the ones from the interior gave me that impression. Especially when they want to talk how hot Beja is and they've worked under near 40º super duper extreme conditions.
People from Alentejo are extremely chill and good people in my opinion.

A lot of people living there actually came from Angola/Mozambique as retornados and others are just immigrants. iirc the Algarve/South of Alentejo were actually having a fertility rate spurt due to the immigrants over there (mainly from our old colonies but also Ukrainians)

*40ºc

I have cousins who now live in Évora and everyone I meet there, despite being super chill and all around friendly, really goes into detail on how they're alentejanos.

There's always that kind of person everywhere. People love to tell you their roots to feel like special snowflakes.
>tfw that's how I ended up discovering I'm a fucking Jew from Trás dos Montes
No day of the rope for me eheh

Literally nothing wrong with Sephardis. I'm part Jew I think too.

It's astonishing really. Just took a picture from Google, these guys are literally me.

I'm not going to fucking convert back of course, fuck religion, but sometimes I meet with my cousins for the Ramadan.

Looks like my dad.

>Even the African cities were sort of OK, it was just the rural blacks that got the short end of it. And the mainland Portuguese hicks too, of course. The fascist government was allergic to industrialization because of the Red Scare. Boy, did that backfire.

It's weird how mainland Portugal was so neglected by the government for upgrades and investment. It's like the only people that benefitted from the increased investment in the colonies the majority of times were the Portuguese upperclass/middleclass that went to the colonies (the more recent ones). I think there was a lot of illegal immigration to the colonies because mainland Portugal being neglected.

Me on the left 2bh.

Is this the worst alliance ever? Why are Anglos such awful allies?

Napoleon conquered it in 11 days

Except he didn't.

Because they only cared about their interests like always.

>Except he didn't.

Yeah, not in person
I mean that some obscure general he sent did it for him

>Napoleon ordered Junot to commence the invasion, with the cooperation of three divisions from the Kingdom of Spain.

>Paralyzed by fear and indecision, the Portuguese authorities offered no resistance. Junot occupied Lisbon on 30 November 1807 to find that John and many of the leading families had left for Brazil aboard the Portuguese fleet.

>The French quickly occupied the entire country and appropriated or disbanded the Portuguese army.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invasion_of_Portugal_(1807)

After that, Portugal remained under French occupiation for about a year until the British came to liberate their sissy ass

You can't really conquer a country if you can't control it and it's ruler. That's just me though.

He's called Maomé in portuguese.

>sissy ass
While the ruling bodies fled and the army was disbanded, the portuguese actually began a guerrila warfare against the french, rendering their control of the country limited to Lisbon and a strip along the Tejo connecting the capital and Spain.