Is there a more wtf lol moment than this in history?

>Pope switches sides
Basically the original idea was to split Venice between France, HRE and Spain. Then HRE and Spain peaced out for internal reasons and the pope shitted himself at the prospect of fully french northern Italy.
>Venice switches sides
Basically the pope and the HRE tell Venice to hand over half its territory for no real good reason (literally >muh lombard league revolt 200 years after the fact) so Venice goes to France to preserve its own territorial integrity.
>France calls Scotland
Hey, why not? England joined.
>Somebody calls Swiss mercenaries
Mercs gonna merc.

It's not really complex, if you look into it.

>But in that case, shouldn't the spanish succession war considered a french victory too ?

Yeah, but the pic focused on the only theater the Brits took part in (Queen Anne's War)
In most big European wars, Brits did nothing but focus on North America to steal French and Spanish colonies by outnumbering them there while these countries were busy concentrating their army on much more relevant theaters in Europe

That's how you have Queen Anne's War, King George's War, the French and Indian Wars...
There's a reason why Britain was called 'Perfidious Albion'

>split Venice

Were medieval popes the original conductors of the Concert of Europe?

this is European geopolitics in a nutshell.

Why are Europeans so violent?

Well no. It wasn't a question of balance of power, it was just a way to convince everyone else to partecipate. However when faced with the prospect of having France bordering him, he remembered Avignon, sobered up and backed out.

Question of the millennium, senpai

Many different peoples, very little land.

we're not more violent than other people, just more competent

This

The Auld Alliance

Because we kicked ass m8

France still won most of the battles in the French and Indian war

They performed pretty well indeed
Resisting almost a decade while outnumbered 4 to 1 is impressive
But then again, the British army was among the worst European armies of the time when it comes to quality

>"was"
More like "has always been"
>btfo by vikings
>btfo by normans
>btfo by the french
>btfo by spain
>btfo by the dutch
>btfo by the americans
>btfo by the Central Empires
>btfo by Nazi Germany

in first world war the nglish army was the best army at the beginning of the war but there were like 300000 professional soldiers so they died fastly and were outnoumbered by conscript

>But then again, the British army was among the worst European armies of the time when it comes to quality
lmao

Pretty sure they sent 80,000 troops to France in 1914, and they had increased it to 250,000 in 1916, but by that point they essentially had lost almost all of the experienced soldiers they had originally sent.

That list is so inaccurate

The first one for example lists the French as being part of the Norman invasion...Sure some French were there but it was an entirely Norman organized expedition with little French royal involvement

But senpai, the Normans WERE French themselves

IIRC the league was formed to fight Venice, but one of the lords who called upon the league accidentally promised France like all of north Italy or something and then typical euro politics ensued.

the Battle of Karansebes

>endless war since 5000 bc
>competent

The Normans are French, dipshit.

obligatory

shit, meant this one

...

Is this some advanced form of baiting? Im so confused

Yes.

holy shit that chart tho

now the austrian are trying to make us believe that it never happened

Probably because it didn't.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Nagashino

This

>cavalry charge straight into a fortress full of musketeers and stockades defended by spearmen

Yea, Canadiens did a pretty good job

It wasn't. Not counting Bohemia which was forced to side with Austria after the initial rebellion was crushed, everyone else who switched sides was pretty undecided from the get go.

Everyone else were pretty solid, even if they didn't get involved in the war directly they worked against the same enemies throughout the war.

British army was good but it was basically equivalent of Austrian army. French and Prussian armies were simply better so they stood no chance in an all out battle. So British did well instead using their advantage at sea which started in 18th century to minimise the amount and size of land battles.

That looks like a list of wars between [fuckton countries +England memeing] and [France+San Marino]

>Norman Conquest
>French victory
Wtf

They didn't even helped them with the war. How the hell is it a French victory?

>normans
>french

>first barons war
>inconclusive
>rebels btfo, French prince kicked out of england, counter invasion btfo, forced to remove all claims to england

>""""french"""" invasion of england 1326
>leaders were English marcher lords and the English king's wife, army consisted of Flemish mercenaries and English rebels

They were allied
The pic focus on France and Britain, so when they're on the winning side, it writres "X victory" even if they barely did anything

If it wasnt the case, there wouldnt be any British victory at all since they never even won a war without tons of allies

this one is kind of neat

this shit was more chaotic clusterfuck than russian civil war and syrian war combined.

What was the name of the battle where HRE troops accidentally fought each other?

...

The pope proposed all allies to split Venice up, but Spain and the HRE peaced out of the war early so in the end France was the only one who would get land if the war was won.

Stop baiting, your country was the bitch of France without Austria,HRE or spain to help you

""""Bating"""" with facts, UK won the rivalry, the UK won the colonial game, the UK kept the European balance of power from being dominated by France, the UK became the first global super power and all France holds is a few irrelevant medieval wars and a couple years of napoleon.

They achieved all that by coaxing Austria, HRE and Spain into knocking France off the top dog position then switching up on their allies and taking the top dog position for themselves.

>using a modern map of modern Germany and not of the Confederation of the Rhine
This triggers me.

Let us never forget the War of the Bucket.

I'm surprised that nobody's posted this.

It happened but never on the scale that was implied later.

150000 to france, 85k infantry, the rest cavalry, artillery, enginers and other support troops

strength rose rapidly peaking at 4 million total more than half of which were in france or belgium.

training was condensed but still longer than french or german training period

>turcii, turcii!

separate language, separate culture, separate leaders...

were they?

It didn't happen at all, considering nobody even mentions it until 45 years after it supposedly happened, as a funny anecdote.

>separate language
This one is entirely false
They had an accent and a few varying words (basically like American and British English), but it wasn't a different language in any way

>separate culture
By 1066, their culture was basically French
Few difference remained there and there, but not enough to call that a different culture
Fucking Bretons had more cultural difference from Paris than the Normans did

>separate leaders
True but politics don't mean shit
Look at Taiwan and China, the CSA and the USA, North and South Korea.....etc

What's going on here? He was leading an army against himself

>What's going on here?
The various divisions of the army weren't aware of each others' location, and were divided by nationality, which meant different language and uniforms. So when the scouts from different divisions met each other, they thought they were the enemy and conflict ensued.

Someone yelled "allah" and chaos ensued