Has a hunter's pack of dogs tear him to shreds because he accidentally saw her naked

>has a hunter's pack of dogs tear him to shreds because he accidentally saw her naked
>murders 14 children because their mother was overly proud of them
>lets Dionysus rape Aura the Titan because she insinuated that Artemis isn't really a virgin

Artemis was a huge bitch.

Most of the Greek gods were.

>goddess of childbirth
>a confirmed virgin

How did that work?

The moment she was born she helped her mother give birth to her twin brother Apollo

This.

Hades was pretty much the only one who wasnt a colossal douche.

Persephone might have a different take on things.

Hermes did nothing wrong

Actually nevermind, he stole Apollo's cattle one time

And Hephaestus. Poor bastard.

Fair enough, but I just would've thought Hera "mother of half the pantheon" would've been the better bet

He was also the patron of thieves, so he was kind of inherently a dick.

There is NOTHING to suggest she was sad that she became his wife, it was only her mom who threw a fit

I wouldn't say half, desu the only one I can think of off the top of my head is Ares, but I'm sure there's more. Also, she despised any son of Zeus that wasn't hers.

He tried to rape Athena once

He couldn't even do that right, he wuz a good boy.

Yeah, and I can't think of any other Greek myths that suggest any of the women are sad to be raped by strangers and dragged to their home and tricked into staying there, but somehow I bet that had they happend, said dames would not be skipping with joy.

He was a literal cuck.

>traps Ares and Aphrodite in a net to shame them
>they started fucking
>entire pantheon laughs at Hephestus
>Zeus then orders him to let them out

What about Medusa?

That version, that she was raped by Posiedon, originates with Ovid. And it's not she that's upset, it's Atena/Minerva because it happened in her temple.

>supposed to be born a physical manifestation of beauty
>born so ugly that his own mother threw him off Mt.Olympus in disgust
>agrees to be the smith of the gods in exchange for a marriage to Aphrodite
>still gets cucked by Ares consistently
On top of all that he probably did the least wrong of all the Olympians. Poor dude.

I think the only Greek god/titan that wasn't an asshole, was ironically, Prometheus.

>tried to rape a war goddess

Lel I bet he got his ass kicked.

Prometheus was an absolute bro who loved the human race.

wtf I hate the pantheon now

He got kinda close but he just ended up shooting on her leg

>>human race
Leftist or centrist detected, not sure which one.

Wow you should be a detective you fucking mong. Go back to your /pol/ safe space

Whoops, meant for

>muh /pol/ boogeyman

So paranoid and salty, just like your hero Mr. 34 million Stalin.

The phrase "human race" has been used as a synonym for mankind since the 1500s, long before the 19th-early 20th century race politics you obviously adhere to came about.

Holy shit, I'm loving these tears.

>muh race politics
>muh /pol/

Cry some more and get trolled roflmao

Dionysus is a pretty cool dude tho

You don't disrespect an eternal spirit of nature, boyo.

Real talk, how would Artemis punish OP for his insolence?

Thats why romans are superior. Because their gods are superior in all aspects.

They didn't embrace tragedy in the divine sphere, yet another reminder that the Romans lacked refinement.

>trololo xD

...

wow rude

Unfortunately for you, you shan't have a polite response b/c you pretty much spoiled it when you mocked me :)

...

Good day to you then

Hermes was just fun.

I enjoyed the one story that basically describes how he did everything he could to be more clever than Apollo.

Like Apollo was god of music or song or whatever so Hermes became god of the lyre

Hephaestus was a hard working god he didn't deserve to get cucked by chad Ares man.

The greeks ruined her. The italic, anatolian, celtic versions of her aren't nearly as arseholish (tho still pretty bloody).

post more funny greek god stories

Fuck, Roman/Greek statues of women get me so fucking hard

>all of this modern slave morality used to judge ancient gods

The Greeks were shallow out of profundity, because they grasped life in its fullness.

Sexuality is a great thing.

>ywn be Huemac

This one gets me wet.

Rape was culturally accepted back then, probably like getting shoved in a crowded place.

L O N D O N

>ok don't murder me let's kiss

>be priapus
>try to rape a goddess
>fucking donkey makes me lose wood
>get so mad at donkey get boner
>rage boner is eternal
>rape anybody trespassing