Attracted to Getting Sued/Cucked By Other Businesses

You've seen me on here before. I'm the guy who sends emails to businesses saying that I defamed them or used their intellectual property rights without permission. My M.O. is to apologize for having done something wrong (even though I actually haven't done anything) and give them all of my personal information and sometimes even offer to pay for their legal fees. I spell out a specific story of how I defamed or misused their property and claim responsibility.

My confession is that this is a fetish. I'm submissive and the idea making myself vulnerable and giving a profit-oriented stranger the power to take action against me is very hot. I've also tried to do crazy things like offer to take on an expense for a business for no reason and pay for dumpster diving rights at a restaurant.

Obviously this isn't in my best interest and so far, I've just been ignored. May this be the strangest post you've read on Veeky Forums: Does anyone have any idea of something I could take responsibility for (without actually doing anything wrong in the process) that a company would pounce all over me for and sue the shit out of me? My goal is to look like a moron for putting myself out there and then just get worked over by whatever company is involved.

Sorry for the weirdness. Previous posts I've made on here now make more sense.

I have done something similar before by starting a business to fail intentionally, then all people go unpaid and hate me, its def hot so I understand you.

So you started a business, it failed, and people were left unpaid. I'm kind of the opposite. I would prefer to be one of the unpaid. I also get off on the idea of paying to work. I worked at a restaurant and convinced a guy to let me work a shift or two per week signed in as him so he got paid and I had to work. I even "owed" him my tips for those shifts. He was the owner's son who turned a blind eye. Super hot.

Nothing, no advice to get me screwed over?

Must be nice to have no valuable assets, nothing to lose.

5/10

If I knew how to use you I would. Sadly I don't own a company at the moment, or I could've made a lot more income using you.
Things as simple as me owning a convenience store and wanting you to fill the position for X hours of the week on low pay while I get it off the ground.
Just having an extra had for a startup business would be huge so maybe you could try there.
Go find a startup that needs someone to help shill their product, odds are you won't be paid much and you might actually benefit from it because they think you're genuinely interested.

Is there a way I can make myself look stupid and still get away with it? Like offering to work for minimum wage?

Take responsibility for everyone else's fuck ups ?

One of the big problems with joining a company is that you develop comradery, friendship, etc. I tend to get along with people. The reason I'm looking to get sued, or enter into a harsh, one-sided contract is that we don't know eachother. It's just business, I owe them money because I'm a moron and they caught me.

I do like this idea of being a shill for someone. Should I advertise myself on craigslist as someone with management skill for hire for minimum wage? What's the best way to go about this?

Since I play video games, is there a way to make it seem like I owe someone a game on steam and have people take advantage of me here on Veeky Forums? Like, say I tell Veeky Forums that I owed an user a game but lost track of them and post it on /v/. Would 4chaners pounce on that?

We'll see how this goes.

Just got cucked out of $90 worth of games on /v/ on steam. Not the same...

Well, you could start off by sending me some money on PayPal. My personal profits this year have been a little lower than expected, so anything would help to make up for that. You want to help me be able to buy that new car I've had my eyes on, right?

Trademark infringement will get you noticed very quickly

Although I like the idea of my money going to you, what I'm more into is suddenly owing you money because I fucked up, signed a contract I shouldn't have, entered a one sided deal, etc.

I've tried claiming to use someone elses logo for my personal business before. I just got ignored. Any tips about how I should go about it?

Alright, you want to bet on something dumb?

Let me think on this for a bit. I prefer to get doormatted by a business. Something bigger, more impersonal.

Make your own business using someone else's logo, but make it a really poorly thought out, shitty, embarrassing business. Then report yourself anonymously.

Wouldn't it still work if I did that and reported myself not anonymously? Why does it have to be anonymous?

It might seem suspicious if you report yourself, or companies might not take it as seriously. If you act apologetic then they will not view you as a threat and thus not waste resources on you.

Oh, interesting. So my being apologetic may have worked against me this whole time.

>ooooh taking on expenses gets me soooo hot and bothered! mmmmmmm! that profit-oriented stranger is going to pounce all over me with his big legal brief and make me moan with debt!

Yes!

Couldn't you just be normal and let a lady in heels beat the shit out of you or somethin?

Lol, nope.

Dox yourself on Veeky Forums. I promise bad stuff will happen.

Alright let's draft and sign a contract on investing in my record label but don't read the contract correctly or at all.

What skills do you have? Maybe I can use you

9/11

A HAHAHAHA HA WTF.

No company will fuck with u if u are poor.

If they sue and win they still can't collect.

My advice? Buy some real Estate and keep it paid for in your name while getting chucked and becoming homeless u fucking weirdo.

God I hope u are a troll.

If so u a good one.

If not then cannot stop lol

just join the church of scientology