How do i haggle for a used car without succumbing to my autism?

yeea thats always a solid one try hitting your head on something right before you shake the sellers hand

>implying our boy needs practice

Harold, please. He's a professional.

When you start getting into options packages. Tell them how your dad really liked those options on his car, but now he's dead and you're trying to honour him by keeping the same options on your car. Talk about how you feel like he's ghostriding in the car with you, especially while you're on the test drive with the salesman. Start talking to your dad's ghost while you're in the car with him.

What about talking to myself and constantly interrupting and laughing out of no where for no reason and showing absolutely no sense of hygiene

This is good stuff right here

sounds like you are pretty good at this. Enjoy your low prices

I joke about this stuff with friends so i have experience

Just look the car over and give them your fair, solid offer. If they want to meet somewhere in the middle, continue forwards.

Don't listen to this asshole.

Tell them how the upholstery reminds you of your uncle's couch, the one he pressed your head into while he raped you.

make sure when he's talking to continuously ask him if you can get that in writing

if he says yes ask him to initial each point and sign and date at the bottom

when he uses the date format mm-dd-yyyy, inform him on why it makes more logical sense to use dd-mm-yyyy

oh god this is top tier autism

I deal with faggots like this sometimes, I work in insurance and retards think that ANYTHING IN WRITING is some legally binding contract that can never be changed or altered, it's pitiful.

I'll have a 20 minute phone convo with some idiot about their claim, and talk about settlement options. They'll tell me they understand everything, but then they'll say "I'LL NEED THAT IN WRITING, JUST TO KEEP EVERYONE HONEST AHUA HUA HUA. Seriously."

It's funny because I send them an e-mail with nothing in writing, just a short sentence confirming that we discussed "deductibles, settlement options, and contractors."

It infuriates them. Because they underestimate my own autism combative skills.

Be sure to talk about whatever anal issues you have in detail.
If you don't have any, make some up.
Also, be sure to point at a random car and remark"golly, that one sure looks like a feminine penis"

user I hope you know that these people are just normies. It's not that they won't acknowledge social cues it's just that they operate at a reduced brain capacity.

So in reality, because you acknowledge their normie-tism, you're actually bullying them. It's not nice to punch down like that.

There's plenty of shitposting boards, faggot. Go find one.

I have no charisma and can't haggle for shit so when I buy things with negotiable prices I just keep responding to their selling points with "I don't know what that means." I figure they're gonna get way more money than it's worth from me anyways so I might as well make them work for it.

Don't tell me not to bully normies, they make my job more shitty than it already is.

>tfw I tell them the settlement amount, less their deductible
>tfw they ask me "what does that mean, less?"
>I explain it's being subtracted
>tfw they realize they have a 3rd-grader understanding of the English language

have cash
>start with low offer
he will come back with higher offer
> meet in the middle price.
>pay price, do paperwork, drive away.

its not rocket science.

>try to sound more important than I am
>it doesn't work
>EVERYONE ELSE IS A RETARD

>he never even looked at the car

enjoy getting fucked

>have cash
>start with low offer
>he will come back with higher office
>pee your pants visibly in front of other staff members
>tell him you once fucked a goat
>roll your eyes back and start humming the theme to Big Comfy Couch
>reach into your fanny pack and pull out a Donald Duck Pez Dispenser and start using it to speak for you
>go sit in convertible model with pee pants
>tell them you want this car but only if it comes in orange
>scream when they tell you it doesn't
>walk into random offices and begin taking small things and putting them in your fanny pack
>walk out into the parking lot and then back in through the other set of doors and sit down and tell them you're here to buy a minivan for your wife's son

t. normie who felt stupid after a basic phone conversation with a stranger

kekkkk

If you have cash or your own financing, know the value of the car, and are in a position to walk away i.e. you aren't desperate for a car, then you have all the power you need.

Just dont fall in love with the car first.

Keep in mind if you are looking for a particular kind or a few kinds of cars, you probably know more about the car than the salesman does.

Then go to CARMAX nigga

newyork.craigslist.org/lgi/cto/6002353121.html

OP here this is what I was looking at that inspired this post.

I don't get it.

I imagined how I would haggle for less than 4k since paying 4k for a 25 year old car is kind of ridiculous

Oh I just thought it was autistic since he provided no information besides two descriptions, the transmission, and the specific engine. As if normies care about that engine type.

Like there are so many other things to mention before talking about the engine. Also:
>the blood on that fence

Also:
>twingo US legal in 1 year
>muh 25 year rule