Quick dude! Hide this for me. The cops will be here in 24 hours looking for it. Don't let them find it

>Enjoy prison. The cops don't like people hiding drug money.

Sorry?

Did I forget to mention it's in a forest in another state, multiple bagged and in quite a deep hole? Also in multiple locations.

Simple, swiss bank account, under a rat hole name such as my brother in law.

give it to a homeless.. problem solved

Your senpaitachi asshole

Haha faggot bootlicker, but luckily people like you stay virgin all your life and won't procreate

>Quick dude! Hide this for me. The cops will be here in 24 hours looking for it. Don't let them find it.
>Where would you hide $1,000,000 cash, Veeky Forums?

just burn it, man. if you want a different solution, go ask someone else.

that's an idea btw i could be out of the country within an hour. before they issue any court orders or warrants.

Just put a dead animal on it and they'll disregard the lead

Easy, dress homeless and go out begging In the street nobody would check my backpack

A lot can be done in 24 hours, you are giving me too large of a window if my friend is in panic mode.

spend it all

theyll never find it that way

Buy a safe and dump it in a lake

btc atm

Give it to friend to put in self storage under his name.

Duh.

I know you cops think we have criminal minds, but the only criminal activity that goes on here /rhg/

bitcoin

Every bitcoin atm I've seen requires you to enter a phone number so they can text you a pin to verify a transaction.
Kind of defeats the entire purpose of it imo.

But yeah, local bitcoin would prob be the way to go.

Casino. 4 $250,000 chips. Done.

I'd burry it to be honest. Take it way out into the back woods and get the gps cords on the hole.

Wrap it in plastic obviously.

>Implying I don't rip my air freshener off the rearview and tie it on the bag

Dogs will be following my scent or the money's scent, not some pine mint shit

I'm wondering... how easy would it be to smuggle counterfeit chips into a casino? Or create them for that matter?

Hide it at your parents. Since it's winter, stash it in the tube of the leaf blower.

Easier than counterfeiting bills.

You could even "wash" them at the table games. When you go to the cage only exchange real ones.

especially when the backpack smells like piss
It's not your money anyways

i actually know a faggot that found a backpack that smelled like piss and took it home to wash out and use it. so you never know.

If it were easier, more people would be doing it. There would have to have the exact same weight, feel and balance or else the dealer's would instantly know something was up.

It's a clay disk. How many security measures could it possibly have?

When you pass a $100 bill to a clerk you instantly draw attention to yourself but thousands of dollars are being thrown around on the blackjack table by the hour. You can't go in there with fucking Play-Doh but if your counterfeits are reasonable no croupier is going to think twice.

You'll probably face more scrutiny at the cage, particularly if you're cashing out a large amount and in high denomination chips only. That's why you take a few hours to "wash" them at the table games.

The only real downside is that you WILL be caught. Cameras track your movement from the second you walk in the door. Once a counterfeit is detected they will eventually track it back to you.

Still, If you had a team of people who could dump the fakes all in 1 night and then be gone I don't see how the casino would possibly stop you.

Storage.

Not like they have any reason to investigate you.

i think op assuming sooner or later they track the dude to you and cops get a court order for search your car and home.

Put it in a bunch of bags then throw it behind a rock in a aquarium for fish.

>How can cops prove that YOU dug a fucking hole in the forest ?

They can see your DNA, foot marks, whatever.

>How the fuck can a dog sniff a fucking entire forest ?

Yeah, he will sniff your marks. They will find out. You fail.

Up my rectum.

>DNA
jesus christ are you just jizzing the entire way to the drop spot? are you retarded?

well the truth is user doggos track you by shed skin fragments. technically you are leaving a trace of dna everywhere you go. altho it's currently uncollectable.

search "burn"
only post

Only correct post
Evidence burned beyond recognition and great plausible deniably as most believe no sane person would burn money. Successfully completing friends request quickly with little effort.

Although all btc atms ask for phone number. The transaction tracking thing can be avoided simply by dumping it into an e wallet, then exchanging the btc into another currency, then swaping it back into btc. Btc atms are the most descrete way, especially if you have a "fun" phone.

Buy expensive watches, silver candlesticks, persian rugs, paintings, jewellery, rare vintages of Bordeaux wine, old cognac, old whisky, antique furniture, and a grand piano.

The police can look right at it and do nothing. Donut eating dolts probably will just think you're a doctor.

Better watch the fuck out for auditors, though.

In 24 hours? How does he know this?

>Where would you hide $1,000,000 cash, Veeky Forums?

i don't have to hide ALL of it. just SOME of it. observe:

>hide a single 100 dollar bill
>cops show up
>cop: bro is that 1,000,000 dollars? we've been looking for that shit
>me: lol nah, it's only 999,900 dollars.
>cop: OH shit, so sorry to bother you, citizen, have a good day
>me: np and you be sure to do the same

you idiots are way over thinking this.

Serial numbers, you dip. They would look at the bills and match them to the list they received and see that these 999,900 dollars are, in fact, the ones your friend stole. And on top of that, you used 100 of your criminal friends stolen dollars, which makes you a shitty friend.

buy 1m worth of gold and some scuba equipment and drop the gold at the bottom of a lake

Leave it sealed in a bag locked in a safe buried underneath a hole in the ground that's a snake pit in on an odd piece of land in the middle of a gator infested bayou. Cover the pit with a mesh net and some leaves.

Prior to doing this, though, walk around the bayou with the money in random areas, so the scent is all over the place. Airboat to the final location, though.

my fuckin bank account

So your "friend" drops off a bunch of money to you, you then take it to the woods and bury it.

You are telling me the police will not only know it that you had something to do with it, but that it is in whichever woods will be chosen, and that the dogs will have skin samples from you that they will be able to sniff out a buried bag that has been sealed in these random woods?

>Excuse me have you seen this man/woman (OP)?
No officer, not for a while now. Are they ok?
> Holy shit you are lying, quick grab his dead skin so we can track the missing money to the woods and sniff it out.

This was meant for

casino's have ridiculous laws protecting them against fraud. It's not like a normal theft, it's literally extreme punishment of years in prison.

Yougo in your car,and drive out of state.

says the guy making a bunch of threads about credit card fraud.

I'd take $10K of it and give the rest to the cops.

>put the money in aluminium sheet (the one that folds)
>coat it with wax
>bury underground

...

why would they use a metal detector?
you know how much this thing cost?

how much do you think they cost?

>they run the dogs on you and find 10k at your place with the matching serial numbers

They wouldn't be able to use a metal detector if they don't know where too look for it. The wax throws off the dogs scent, and if the money is buried far away from the place where is got covered in wax, you're okay.

We have a new TV game show here (It's probably a copy of some US show, so you may know the concept already) that gives two candidates the objective to hide a suitcase with 30k (?) within an hour. They get a phone they can use and a car with a GPS tracker and when the time is over, they get "detained" and interrogated by one team of investigators, while another team does the footwork and searches for the suitcase. So far, from what I have seen, no candidates have managed to hide it well enough.

You fucks have time to play make believe?

You a Danebro?

Name of show?