What are Veeky Forums thoughts on the Book of Revelation?

What are Veeky Forums thoughts on the Book of Revelation?

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dates_predicted_for_apocalyptic_events#Past_dates
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

I believe it was written to critique and inspire the seven churches of asia, and by extent allow later readers to learn from their strengths and weaknesses. Most of the flowery language and images comes from the fact that it's written in the style of jewish apocryphal literature and so isn't literal in the word-for-word sense. Basically it's a lot more like the other epistles than people realize and doesn't have really anything to do with the judgment.

"Romans get out REEEEEEEEE" taken too seriously. And too many people treat it as a code to be solved because they can't handle symbolism.

Written by St. John.

Fanfiction

jewish apocalyptic eschatology

why was it canonised?

Qabalah is interesting but what's even more interesting is how angry baptist preachers will recite Revelations to an audience without knowing what it's actually about.

A constant source of hilarity from overconfident interpreters
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dates_predicted_for_apocalyptic_events#Past_dates

I want the drugs they took when they wrote it.

le ebin meme :,)

You were offended.

>Book of Revelation?
An allegorical tale foretelling the destruction of the old Jewish culture by the Romans and the rise of a new Christian consciousness in the aftermath of the destruction.

They had to write it allegorically so that when the Roman censor came into your home and started rifling through your books, he just assumed that they were stories and not subversive anti-Roman propaganda.

But the pieces fit nicely, and avoid the huge implausibilities of thinking that this will literally happen sometime in the future

>The whore of Babylon
clearly referring to Jewish culture, which spent time in Babylonian captivity and was then suffering under the yoke of Roman oppression
>The beast with seven heads
clearly referring to the seven hills of Rome
>The Mark of the Beast
in Roman times a mark was a stamped coin or document, such as what you got when you made an appropriate sacrifice at a pagan temple allowing you to practice your trade in a primitive system of licensing. Jews and Christians obviously resented being forced to go to foreign temples and make sacrifices to foreign gods just to practice their livelihoods. Not to mention the every day coins that they were using were stamped with the mark of the Caesars as divine beings, and speaking of which,
>the number of the beast
In ancient Hebrew letters were used as numbers and our Arabic numeral 666 would be spelled NRON QSR and would be pronounced "Nero Caesar"

It's a beautiful book with striking imagery but it's just a political allegory

>nero made jews so butthurt that they based the end of the world on him
based.

the Jews had a good reason to hate him: he oppressively taxed them without representation.

The Christians had a good reason to hate him: he had them mauled to death by wild animals because he needed a scapegoat after rumors started circulating that he started the great fire in order to clear space to build his monstrous Domus Aurea ("the golden palace") right on top of Rome's most prized and valuable real estate

The Romans had a good reason to hate him: he would have his secret police corral them into amphitheaters and force them to sit there and listen to him play shitty music for hours on end. I mean imagine how shitty it would be if Barack Obama put out a rap album or George W. Bush put out a country album and you were required by the state to buy it and listen to it.

Roman censors weren't very smart or motivated it seems. Beast with seven heads should be obvious even to a complete moron.

>weird monotheistic religion from Judea
>oh it has a seven headed beast, cool

Or just not possessing the resources to comb through every single two-bit religious tale that every two-bit mountain town writes for itself.

but even if one did find it, it's fuzzy enough that a bribe would probably be enough to smooth things over. The Romans were great soldiers and engineers but horrendously corrupt and incompetent bureaucrats

>Roman censors weren't very smart or motivated it seems.
Well, yeah. You don't get the rise of a decent, professional secret police force until you get the rise of a decent, professional police force.

A roman censor going through your shit would likely just have the office because he was a loyal citizen of a good family. Maybe, if he got his position by competence, it was by slaying barbarians on the ass end of the earth.

He looks around your place for signs of sedition, opens up the book of revelations and sees "Yep, that's a load of mystic nonsense" and moves on.

It's the best part of the bible tbqh

Technically the censors weren't secret police they were religious/morality police. The Praetorian Guard were more like the secret police as they were the emperor's personal army of goons.

But your point is still a great one

Some guys hallucinations written down.

>What are Veeky Forums thoughts on the Book of Revelation?
That biblicism is the most retarded way to interpret the bible

Troof. Already came true, too.

Sounds like a crazy trip. Would drop acid with Saint John any day.

>I mean imagine how shitty it would be if Barack Obama put out a rap album or George W. Bush put out a country album and you were required by the state to buy it and listen to it.
There's still a few months left :^)

I'm a Historicist Post trib Pre wrath Amillenialist

So what about the Frogs in OP?

>Pope Innocent III (d. 1216) predicted that the world would end 666 years after the rise of Islam.
by far the best

Why do you peddle this lie? That theory cannot explain anything in revelation beyond the letters to the churches of asia. How do you take "A thirdof the sea turned into blood,a thirdof the living creatures in the sea died, and a third of the ships were destroyed." Figuratively?

A horrifying account about how God will judge the world for its wickedness and prophesies many things which have not yet come to pass.

Red sea dead sea redemption sea?

Real life. It's all coming true really.

I WANT TO BELIEVE