This job should only take me about ten minutes

This job should only take me about ten minutes

*bolt shears*

>mfw everytime

...

...

>tfw

[DROPING TOOLS IN THE ENGINE BAY INTENSIFIES]

...

>is changing alternator
>spend an hour going over everything make sure I did it right
>just about done
>bolt everything back in place
>wont turn over
>wont turn over
>rage intensifies
>look at everything
>seems fine
>keeps telling myself I did everything right
>frantically looking for what I fucked up on
>makes sure battery is hooked up
>it is
>why wont it turn over?
>maybe I missed something hooking up the alternator
>take everything apart again
>everything hooked up
>ree intensifies
>forgot that the battery was dead because alternator decided to sudoku itself and I had to basically run the battery till it was about to die so I could get home
>jumps battery with other truck
>it starts
>mfw i forgot battery was died and took everything apart to see if i missed something

...

>no power to the driving lights in the 7-pin trailer socket?
>probably just a cable come loose

Oh, put the flywheel bolts onto the crank without the flywheel, I'll just... Oh wait

>he underestimated what we meant when we said don't drive with a cracked flexplate

This is me.

>Changing motorcycle windshield
>Plastic screws holding the shield in place break after 1×10^-15 nm of torque
>Buy new stainless bolts from Home Depot with a 10mm head because everything on a metric bike is 10mm
>Bolt heads are too thick for small trim piece to go over top
>Grind them down
>Finally fits

Fuck plastic fasteners

>installing OEM foglights
>instruction manual says 45 minutes
>have to feed thick wire to bulkhead
>destroy my hand on hard metal edges behind dash blindly trying to find where the wire feeds through
>find out there's two layers of bulkhead and the wire slipped between them
>have to remove bumper
>snap two rusted bolts, round off one
>have to get the grinder to saw off the back of the rounded off bolt and replace it with a nut
>don't even bother with the snapped bolts
>bottom off the bumper is now held on by two points instead of six (2 bolts were already broken)
>have to drill 4 holes into a THICK steel beam on the front of the car
>it's so strong I have to drill 4 times with smaller drills to make one 4mm hole
>break a lot of drills
>have to saw 2 slots into bumper for some brackets
>find out later the slots weren't large enough so the bumper didn't seat properly
>other small annoyances

Installation time was one day.

>change front lower control arms
>bolt is so corroded to shit that it rounds off the second you dare to look at it
>inner metal bushingis completely stuck to bolt so it won't spin freely
>tear apart old rubber trying to turn bolt+bushing anyway
>bushing gets pulled straight through subframe because of excessive force
Suspension work in countries that salt the roads is hell.

Kill them all johnny...

>wheel stud snaps
>have to either take the hub apart or cut into it to replace it
GOD DAMMIT HONDA WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO HARD?

>OEM install
>Requires fucktons of retarded fabrication
I think you're just an idiot.

>get bull bar for new
Oh, ive installed these before, should only take an hour!
>open instructions
>Remove entire bumper, grill, head light assembly.... fuck you, remove the entire front end for something that nornally is like a 4 bolt job.

How is it that much? Does it attach to something else than the underside?

It was a very rare and expensive option from 20 years ago dude. The car wasn't designed to house foglights from the factory and had no designated places for it besides the gaping radiator holes in the bumper next to the license plate. The people who bought it let the dealer install it anyway. It looks like an aftermarket install but there are pretty much no foglights avaible with those dimensions and brackets so none will fit without sticking out.

So yes, the manufacturer did indeed ask me to saw in my bumper and drill holes in my frame.

Go to vacuum car after it rains. My spare tire is almost floating.

Go away dirty wagie.

need more rage repair stories

>wagie
citation required

Alright, I have another for you:

>helping dad fix his car
>needs new front brake hoses, no big deal
>except they haven't been changed in at least 15 years
>EVERYTHING is corroded to hell and back
>everything that needs to move is completely stuck
>end up having to bend new metal brake lines that go on the calipers as well as using all new nipples
>one side removed
>ready to install new hose
>it just barely reaches
>what.jpg
>turn steering all the way to one side, hose is pulled tight like a piano string
>this_isnt_good.png
>he bought hoses for an Audi A6 because the site said they'd fit
>the connectors are the same but the hoses are too fucking short
>end up having to buy new hoses AGAIN, car just sits there with brakes one side completely disassembled
>what should take maybe an afternoon took multiple days

And as a final stinger
>bleed brakes
>still feel spongy as all hell
>turns out most of the fluid drained out and air got into the ABS module

fix it right faggot

>bolt shears
>head breaks off
>10mm socket flys into engine bay
>never hits the ground
>part doesnt fit
>cant reassemble car because broken bolt
>its raining
>user U SHOULDA TAKEN IT TO A MECHANIC
>no more pb blast
>engine stud snaps off flush
>you find more broken shit while working

>brakes spongey
>ask guy at Sullivan tire to check the brakes while getting oil change
>"Yeah looks like your gonna need brakes"
>buys rotors and pads, sets day to do brakes
>jack up and pull tire off
>Brakes are almost brand new from when I did them correctly over a year ago
>Don't need brakes
>either vaccum problem or needs new booster
well looks like im not doing that

alright, again
keep in mind im not a mechanic, I just prefer saving a few bucks and learning how to fix things

my original story happened a few weeks ago, this is another alternator one; the one above died for some reason after 3 1/2 months of use

>be me
>driving home from work
>beginning to mid of january is japanistanada
> its fucking -32C
>battery light comes on
>ok, weird
>keep driving not thinking about it
>truck dies
>dafuh
>wont start
>no lights
>ok what ever i'll just call a tow truck
>calls tow truck
>we'll be 35 mins-an hour
>1 hour 35mins later he shows up
>hooks truck up and tows it home
>asking him if he knew what might of went wrong
>probably alternator
>ok
>go next day and buy new alternator
>go to replace it
>went down to -34C
>doesnt have heated shop and cant get it anywhere that does
>get everything out of the way (intake hoses, a rad hose etc)
>trying to take belt off
>forgot about tensioner
>freezing my face and ass off
>gets breaker bar to loosen tensioner
>pulling wrong way
>didnt know this at the time
>rummaged around in dads pile-o-stuff to find a pipe
>wow this thing must be really seized
>breaks it
>im getting angry because its cold and i just broke the socket of the belt tensioner
>goes on youtube
>finds vidya of my truck
>shows him going the other way
>wow im retarded
>tensioner is broken so im thinking of how im gunna get it off
>dads a pipe fitter and has lots of pipe wrenches
>grabs one
>manages to get belt off
>gets alternator out
>put new one in
>now i have to struggle with a pipe wrench to get the belt back on
>cast iron pipe wrench
>even with thick gloves I could feel the heat sinking into it
>got it to do it
>jumpstarted truck
>it runs
>relief.exe
>drove around until my original post with a broken belt tensioner
>truck never blew up

webm related
I clicked end recording before I said "fuck its cold"

>if you don't fix your broken car it wins!

>no audiostreams
oh right.
i forgot about that.

if you fix your broken car it wins*

quote weeddude properly please.

>finish gasket or any other job
>satisfied with no leaks
>turn around to workbebch
>1 left over bolt
>no idea where it goes

>take car to oil change place once because it was ready for one and I was just too busy to do it at the time
>next time I'm trying to change the oil the drain plug is rounded off and the oil filter is on so tight it takes me half an hour to get the fucker off because it ripped in half

>work at a quick lube shop
>some shitbox drives in
>all rusted up, holes in the floor
>skid plate held on by zip ties
>fart can exhaust
>clip off skid plate to find the drain plug bolt completely rounded off
>let upstairs tech know, the owner "didn't remember" where they got it done last (always code for a shitty diy job)
>try and get the drain plug back on because the guy was too cheap to spend $10 on a new one
>end up rounding it completely, tighten it up with a set of vice grips
>just for shits crank on the oil filter with a cheater bar

Pretty much an average day as a lower technician at a fast lube shop.

>drain plug
>$10
Found the jew

Canadian dollars, so that's like $2.50 USD

>continue driving car
>everything is fine
>add piece to bag of misc shit thats come from working on your car

I like to show passengers it, its mostly full of old bolts from stuff i've replaced and broken plastic bits. I just do it to scare people, it amuses me.

>Europoor
>friend asks me to help change oil in his car
>it is old Ford Focus
>everything int he engine bay is so close together
>everything is covered by unneccesary plastic bullshit
>takes an hour to get the oil out
>cannot get the filter out, because it is so tightened and so hard to get
>another hour passes and we get it out
>everything is out of oil, including us
>put a new one
>he decided that we are never doing it again and rather putting it to service

I hate when the idiots make SMALL CARS and you have no fucking room in the engine bay

>work on friend's motorcycle
>all the fairing hardware is an assortment of various sized Hex, Phillips, and Allan heads
Can't stand mismatched hardware

>woken up early telling me my window is down in the pouring rain
>Window wont go up
>Tape a trash bag over it go back to bed
>go to work later
>FLAPAFLAPAFLAPAFLAPAFLAPAFLAPAFLAPAFLAPAFLAPAFLAPAFLAPAFLAPAFLAP
>nope.jpg
>still raining after work
>Saturn, so its ass
>door is retarded design
>window fell off track
>oh easy fix
>Cable bracket not on rain properly
>"Oh well that's why it fell off..."
>I can just push it back into pl 'SNAP!' ...ace....
> Broke bracket
>Now I have to remove it
>fucking star pattern bolts
>fucking why Saturn, why do you hate people
>Take it out, notice it hasn't been on the rail correctly the entire time ive had it
>Everything is riveted together and cant slide slider back on without removing something riveted together
>Superglue plastic rogether
>Vice grip and bend the top of the rail to slide the bracket on
>Unbend
>Reinstall
>Works great
>soaking wet and 4 hours later
Well im SO glad I got to experience that

>go to do oil change
>filter seized

>Replacing timing belt on shitbox Kia
>Follow repair manual to the letter
>Okay unbolt this unlabled thing here
>Oh god its full of antifreeze

You think the fuckin manual would tell you about that shit or at least say its a thermostat housing or oil cooler remnant or whatever the fuck it was.

>tfw eventually you get so pissed you stab the shit out of it with a screwdriver and manage to use the screwdriver for torqz

>mechanic standing next to you borrowed your magnet without telling you
One day I am going to murder that Romanian bastard

Been there a few times.

>bolt drops into engine bay
>don't hit the ground

"Small" cars today are something completely else. They manage to be pigfat but still have a stupid tiny engine bay like a van and it's always completely stuffed with stupid shit and plastic covers. I drive a 90's shitbox and there's enough room in the engine to fit actual luggage. If you can't see the ground you shouldn't bother trying to fix the engine.

>throw away plastic covers and skid plates

and there ya go, just like it's 1987 again

Except it's not, because today there's power steering pumps and reservoirs, fucking ABS bullshit and extra wires and vaccuum lines for all the added pollution reduction equipment. Meanwhile in order to change the oil filter or fill the washer fluid you need to take off a wheel or some stupid shit. My car doesn't have all that shit and it still has a an engine bay about 1/3th the lenght of the entire car.

I once got the change to look inside a VW Up! engine bay and oh boy, what a fucking clusterfuck of bullshit.

>try to find exhaust leak
>"Oh, looks like there's no doughnut gasket holding the pipe to the left exhaust manifold"
>order doughnut
>it arrived a week late, excited to finally seal up this leak
>put it on
>rev truck to test for leak
>still leaking loudly
>get frustrated
>come back hours later and start checking for where the fuck it could be
>the manifolds are like a fucking mile apart from the engine block, its a miracle anything is coming out of the exhaust pipe
>resign

All of a sudden this shit seems pretty smart.

The UP isn't all that bad. Mostly because it's not that popular and doesn't get drived around a whole lot. It doesn't break asides from constant brake discs and drums.

But fuck me whenever a passat 4-4 two liter diesel comes in.

>I HAVE SIX 10MM SOCKETS WHY CAN'T I FIND ANY OF THEM?

>have Mazda
>clutch sticking to floor
>get new clutch and flywheel from mechanic
>100k so still worth the money
>throwout bearing was broken
>1 week later clutch starts acting up
>bring back to shop, says its probably master cylinder
>replace master cylinder myself
>clutch worse now after bleeding
>replace clutch slave cylinder myself
>old slave visibly broken
>put everything back together
>check clutch line for leaks
>start car
>clutch still fucked
>limp car to work for a couple days and try to find the solution online
>turns out that series has a problem with clutch pedal assemblies BREAKING
>royally pissed
>tfw no recall
>limp to junkyard, slog through antifreeze soaked mud and pull pedal from a newer model
>install new pedal next day
>clutch works
>looking at old unit, spring was greased up by the previous owner who obviously halfassed a repair
>small logo on the side of the clutch pedal assembly
>FUCKING FORD
On the bright side, I leveled up in wrenching. whole ordeal cost me nearly 1500 bucks, but I got an almost complete clutch system replacement, flywheel, and 2 cv's out of it.
Anybody have any junkyard stories? My time there was an eye-opening experience

>after two hours of putting everything back to gether.

>Turn around and and one of the vital parts that holds everything together is still sitting there.

>>small logo on the side of the clutch pedal assembly
>>FUCKING FORD
Why the fuck did this make me kek so hard?

...

>pulling a piece of dash trim, all I need that day
>wasp won't fucking leave me alone long enough to snatch it, and it's an old Jeep so it could be done in thirty fucking seconds
>get irritated and go to a different truck and pull that one
>it was a cleaner peice anyway
That's about it

>picking up interior parts for my Civic when I had it
>Find a civic major front end damage but majority interior still inside
>Majority of interior splattered with blood stains
>mfw

>wanting someone elses farted on interior anyway

...

This is genius. What car?

Ttrying to fix a piece of plastic trim that rattles is the fucking worst. Delicate shit. These 2014 mustang a pillar covers are the dumbest fucking things. Going to have to glue a screw on the inside, install a washer and a plate to connect two pieces...fucking a.

Audi A2. Aluminium body means it's very light for its size and its drag coefficient was among the lowest ever produced at the time.

It was way ahead of its time and sold like shit.

Don't ever listen to a mechanic unless you know them. They have the skills to fix it yes, but they don't have the time to do forensics on every car that comes in. So they will usually just suggest a catch-all replacement.

New plastic grommets and a liberal amount of black silicon. I ripped out half of the back interior paneling looking for any more signs for rust and moisture.

>fog lights were a rare and expensive option in 1997

Nigga what?

>header bolt is so close to the pipe that no socket fits on it
>no wrench fits on it either
>spend 5 minutes turning the bolt 1/8th of a turn with a tiny wrench

>Have to change water pump
>"Should take me like a day at the most."
>Takes 5.

>changing drum brakes
>drum rusted on, shoes wore a groove into them too
>drum literally coming off in chunks as I pry it off
>takes 3 hours to get one drum off
>another 2 hours fucking around with springs and such, popped the wheel cylinder open several times
>spend an entire hour just shoving the new drum on
>only done with one side but it's getting dark, go to test out car
>no handbrake, car can't stop for shit
>end up spending another hour adjusting the drum
>still haven't done the other side a month later
FUCK drum brakes

This guy was recommended by my go to mechanic. I trust his judgement.

>Replacing clutch on Golf TDI
>Normally takes a little over half a day
>Get tranny out, remove pressure plate and clutch disc
>Dual mass flywheel
>Suspended mass has holes in the center that the bolts run through
>Suspended mass has shifted so the bolt heads are now covered, pic related
>End up having to cut the center out of the flywheel to get to the bolts
>Takes way longer than it needs to
>Metal flakes in my hair and all over my shirt
>Face itches from metal flakes
>Can't scratch face because everything is metal flakes
>Finish job with itchy face
>Look at clock
>It took 7 hours

Probably the only job that made me genuinely angry.

>Five days to replace a fucking water pump
How? What car? Were you only using a flathead screwdriver and a crescent wrench?

Just get these and never have this problem again.

Heh, this'll be easy.

>Have to cut your fuel line and re flare a new one while shit and PB Blaster drip in your eyes.

If the screwdriver trick works it wasn't stuck, you're just a pussy.

When you tear the filter apart with the screwdriver and still can't get that fucker unthreaded, then you have a reason to complain.

Had a similar problem on my ford fusion. A new oem clutch pedal was only 110$ and took about 1hr to replace.

Did this but they didn't torque the plug and it came of

>Orlando VW dealer

>buy car with heavy front end damage
>pull the engine so i can send it to the frame repair shop
>got the frame fixed, after repainting it im putting the engine back in.
>last thing to bolt on is the power steering pump
> fill everything up with liquids, time for a test drive
>power steering is completely dead
>turn left and right full lock, drove around the block trying to bleed the system
>powersteering still ded
>take out the pump thinking that it was dead and i needed a new one
>in the pump oil intake there was a piece of cloth that i had jammed in there previously to prevent dust from getting in while the pump was in storage.
>both relieved that i don't need a new pump and fucking mad at myself for forgetting to remove that.
>bolt it back on, works fine.
About 2 hours wasted.

>change the oil and filter
>30 minutes max
>2 minutes to jack up the car
>45 minutes to get the sump plug unscrewed because hurr durr alfa romeo uses giant hex head that has been rounded out by 10 years of over-zealous mechanics
>45 minutes to go to the shop and buy a bolt-head replacement
>15 minutes to drain the oil
>5 minutes to change filter
>2 minutes to refill
>2 minutes to put car back on ground

It was nerve-wracking trying to undo that bolt without rounding it out even worse and potentially trapping myself into having to drill the fucking thing out. Worse still because the fucking thing was very nearly flush mount, it was only about 2mm proud and that isn't a lot of meat for vice grips to hang on to. Got it in the end with the vice grips, a hammer, and some creative lever extensions.

>when it takes you a solid 30 minutes to fit your coil+shock correctly
why is life hard

that's what I love about 90's shitboxes, you can reach absolutely everything by hand. water pump/ alternator fucked? just grab it, it's right there. oil filter? sticks out of the engine like a stiff willy, a hippo could unscrew it.

Hold me.

>Just going to change these front shocks.
>Should only take an hour considering how easy the back ones where!
>Later the next day and 6 rust stripped clips later...

>Having anything but a mechanical clutch

>Changing oil on bike
>pull farings and shit off to access
>drop oil and replace filter
>sump plug is tight enough to put fluid in but needs nipping up
>put oil in
>just need to tighten it up and re-assemble bodywork
>go to grab something
>tell mate who's helping to tighten plug
>he attempts to use a 1/2 inch socket wrench
>mfw spanner would've done fine
>hear loud crack
>"crush washer is seated" he says
>mfw i know that wasn't the crush washer
>mfw oil starts dripping on the ground
>mfw when Sunday and shop isn't open

Last time I let anyone "help"

>Change head gasket
>End up with 5 bolts left over
>Found homes for 2 of them
>Kept the other 3 on hand just in case
>It's been 4 years now and I have done tons of other work on the engine
>Where the fuck did these go?

Hydraulic clutches are fine. Maintain fluid replacement and the seals will last much longer.

Complaining about hydraulic clutches is like complaining that your brakes are hydraulic

I guess abs and traction control are fine too.

traction control is poo in winter

>bleed brakes
>still feel spongy as all hell
>turns out most of the fluid drained out and air got into the ABS module
Reason number three why I hate ABS. This happened on my Subaru once, the only fix was a dealer plugging in their factory scan tool to run a "bleed procedure" which works the solenoids in the module to bleed out air.

>have 29 year old rust bucket with 270,000 miles
>Literally every job no matter how small ends up being more complicated than the repair manual says because of stuck or broken bolts, corrosion, or the parts store catalog being wrong about what fits my car
>Stuck bolts threatening to shear is so common that I pull out the MAPP torch by default, not as a last resort
>Can't do work any times except Friday or Saturday so I won't miss work if it turns into a multi-day project
>Half of those days it's raining

>only 110$
>only
>for a simple mechanical item that should easily out-live the car
planned obsolescence is getting bad these days

I'm so sorry user.

Okay, all I need to do is change the O2 sensor on the downpipe

>no access unless you have a lift or take apart the entire exhaust side of the engine
>don't have correct size wrench
>get 02 tool from autozone
>build long breaker bar tool that can only move 1 click at a time
>what feels like hours of clicking later it comes out
>okay time to screw in the new one, but its not going in
>take a look at the old o2 sensor
>the fucking threads are totally missing, all I did was shear off the threads
>back to autozone for a tap
>three clicks forward one click back, feels like hours
>finally fucking done and new o2 sensor screws right in

...

I know that feeling.

>Putting on new coilovers
>Trying to work the bottom perch into the shock seat
>Pull control arm down
>Almossstt
>CV joint pulls apart
>Spend 3 hours trying to fit it back in
>No dice
>End up having to leave car for a week while I wait for new axles since old ones had ancient torn boots anyway

what am I looking at there