I know nothing about Buddhism or about the fat fuck who started it

I know nothing about Buddhism or about the fat fuck who started it.

Explain it to me or give me a TLDR version of it's creation and beliefs.

>it's
*its

That's all you need to know

...

i haven't had to do homework since 09 also how dare i be curious about something i know nothing about.

>the fat fuck
You're thinking of Budai, who is a different figure from the Gautama Buddha. Budai is sometimes associated with the next Buddha, and often seen as a god of happiness in Taoism and Shinto.

If you are sincerely curious about Buddhism, and are at the "I know Jack Shit" level, then the first link would be the one you want.

>thousands of years ago Siddartha Gautama, a prince in pre-Indian civilization sets out to end suffering.
>meditates a shit ton and comes to the conclusion that suffering is inherent to life, and there is no solution.
>since from a darmic perspective you can't kill your self without reincarnating, he proposes that you try and achieve zero karma by following the "middle path" and thus freeing yourself from the cycle of reincarnation.

I'm not I Buddhist but from what I understand this is the best tldr I could give you.

>the fat fuck who started it.

Holy shit

>the next Buddha
i always thought the Dalai Lama was the reincarnation of Buddha.
Tell me more about this "next Buddha"

Tibetan Buddhism is different obviously, the Dalai Lama is their leader but I don't think he's a reincarnation of Buddha, His Holiness the Dalai Lama has reincarnations but they don't claim to be that of Siddhartha

If this is for a homework assignment, I don't really care, because you're going to sound like a rambling idiot without context on any of these things.
In Theravada (South-east Asian) Buddhism, there can be only one Buddha at a time, who discovers the way to enlightenment on his own. When his teachings can no longer be understood by humanity, it is an apocalyptic period known as the Days of the Latter Dharma. Maitreya is the name of the Buddha that will appear after Gautama Buddha's teachings can no longer be followed. This is of course different from, say, Mahayana Buddhism that has a fuckton of different Buddhas running around and Gautama isn't very important.
The Dalai Lama is the leader of a specific set in Vajrayana (Tibetian) Buddhism. He is understood to be an incarnation of the Bodhisattva of compassion.

Basically an East Asian version of Santa Claus.

Man, I wish my school gave me an assignment on Buddha instead of making me read fuckign Guns, Germs and Steel along with A World Lit Only by Fire

Fucking shit sucked man, should've treated us AP kiddies better

>fat fuck

Guatama was a Kshatriya and would've been pretty fit. Then he became an aescetic and would've been skelly-mode.

Putting aside hagiography, founder found Hinduism flawed and set up a religion with a differently organised universe. There are essentially two branches - Theravada (orthodox), and Mahayana (heterodox). Tibetan branch is Mahayana along with a whole lot of other sub-branches with many including messiah cults (who believe the Buddha will return to Earth at its end point), various eschatologies, and a very specific universal order that consists of six physical realms, with human beings occupying the first of the top three, the next two being higher order being states, the pinnacle of which would be the state of the Buddha himself occupying an omniscient realm of nirvana. All Buddhists are required to adhere to the concept of dharma and are permitted to evolve it as they deem fit (hence what often appear to be contradictions such as the Mahayana concept of 'skilful means'). There are theories Buddhism may have been influenced by Greek thinking (as there is evidence of trade with NW India at the time of its inception) and Buddhism continues to post major challenges to (and offer relief to many within) the caste system. Of historical note is that Buddhists were utterly uncompromising on animal sacrifices and hence the reason Hinduism dispensed with it, and Buddhism became popular in China as it offered answers to people's questions regarding the after lives of their beloved ancestors that Confucism could not. It should also be noted that Buddhism is not a philosophy but a religion in every sense of the term with many adherents in the Far East for instance praying to the Buddha to intercede for them on their day to day affairs, monasteries dedicated to specific chanting to ensure the universe deteriorates at a steady rate, and (in Thailand amongst others) adherents keeping notebook records of their karmic tallies based on day to day events.

I like your basic summary, save for a few things.
I would do away with the whole heterodox/orthodox dichotomy; every sect sees itself as the true sect; for instance, Mahayana is named for being the Greater Vehicle of knowledge, as opposed to Therevada, which they term the Hinayana, the Lesser vehicle. The concept of Skillful Means is used to explain the contradictions between sects while asserting their particular "higher truth-ness". Connection with the Greeks was a possibly a mutual exchange, with Buddhism greatly influencing Greek philosophical movements.
I also think your explanation of Buddhism providing for Chinese ancestral sacrifice customs is better explained by folk beliefs later to become compounded with Taoism. The sacrifices are to keep their spirits appeased in a distinctly Taoist spirit world, though there is a great overlap between Mahayana and Taoism in actual belief and practice.

Sheltered prince discovers suffering.
Pursues asceticism without success.
Vows to sit under tree until truth is found.
Defeats Illusion and finds freedom from suffering.

Yeah, conceded on all. It's been a while since I covered it and you certainly seem to know more.

Thanks for all the points and clarification; agreed on all and appreciated.

No, I can tell you probably know more about Theravada than I do. I'm more interested in Mahayana, and its relationship with Taoism and Chinese folk religion.

Pic related

Good topic. My only experience with Buddhism is reading Siddharta by Hermann Hesse. How misguided/eurocentric is it?

I didn't read it personally, however it does mention Buddha in it doesn't it?

How's he painted as, in your own reading?

thats not actually about buddha and isn't really about buddhism

whats it about?

hedonists seeking adventure as a fight,disguised as salvation, against boredom

Why should I meditate when I can spend my day wanking and being a neet

You can't want when you're old. You can't wank when you're outside, with people, etc.

Meditation is supposed to build up a mental framework that allows you to live your life with clarity and wisdom in mind.

Go read Saints Oniisan. I'm serious. And every time they mention something related to religion you don't know about, google it.

The whole part of him being a prince is almost certainly a later fiction. The central lesson the Buddha taught was meditation, particularly the form of meditation known as "metta" which helps you to cultivate love for all beings. He probably believed in reincarnation but you don't have to be Buddhist, his main message was not to worship gods but to cultivate inner virtue.

My understanding is that Dalai Lama is one of those rare people who always reincarnates as himself.

You can do both, meditating can take just a few minutes and still be effective. As to why, it's good for your brain function and may stave off some forms of dementia. Also, enlightenment.

That sounds a really fascinating focus, actually. I wish we'd covered more to do with Taoism and folk traditions in the region. Also, Western European paganisms which there really is so little knowledge on its upsetting if I'm honest.

Also, for anyone interested, we used the Oxford Very Short Introduction to... series as our core texts. The name is a huge misnomer and they really are very in-depth and engaging if you're interested. I can certainly very highly recommend all of the major religion ones and actually a lot else in the series. Excellent ones on rhetoric, logic, legal philosophy and so on. Good price too and very cheap if you get them second hand. Pic obviously related.

Imagine this. You spend every day wanking. It feels good for a bit but eventually you see that it loses its appeal. Over time you realize that there is no end goal to wanking, it will never feel any better than it already does and that when you are not wanking you wish you were and therefore suffer. Your attachment to wanking does not get you far and does not keep you happy at all times. Meditation will help you build a set of skills where you learn to be happy all the time, regardless of your circumstances and will help you learn that there is cloud of delusion over your life. Meditating will help cut through this cloud.

>People unironically believe this shit.

Hey, his religion is about shedding all desire.

Why does he desire a free Tibet again?

No crazier than zombie Jesus, who forgives your sins if you telepathically worship him and eat his body and blood.

Get the fuck out Grade Schooler. There's a thing called Wikipedia for you tards.

>09 was 25 years ago
>oldfrog.jpg

>shedding all desire

Buddhism isn't about that.