Veeky Forums, have you ever... masturbated with engine oil?

It does feel kind of sexy when it's nice and warm but ultimately I think it would be too gritty.

anyone else get an erection from touching warm engine oil? something about how gooey/slick it is just does things to me

>too gritty.
Use fresh oil, cheapass.

Holy fuq screen cap? I've been here since 2009 never seen it

No, they use raw feces and hate transsexuals.

No, but I had a wart on my finger that turned black and fell off after I changed my oil one day. I'm assuming the oil didn't do good things to it and killed it. Seems more effective/less painful than the usual methods of wart removal.

Yup.

Nigga, I don't want dick cancer

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>not using gear oil

75w-140 is where it's at.

Then it wouldn't be all warm from being inside my beautiful car. That's not sexy at all.

fwd

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>lube

Dont need it because I am not a mutilated American/Jew/Muslim

Unlike your hand or arms, the skin on a penis is thin and not as tough. So the chemical additives in the oil will be absorbed into your bloodstream easier.

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2612787

If you have to have the feeling of thick goopy oil, you should just use cooking oil. At least that is guaranteed non-toxic.

How does one thicken cooking oil

No one who would post in a thread like this is using their penis for anything but pissing anyways, no loss.

No, because my parents aren't siblings and my chromosome count is normal.
>mfw i just read a thread on /k/ where a female aviation tech used jet fuel as lube and a female marine masturbated with the buffer for her service rifle

We /b/ now

Even without moderation and some of the worst tripfags around, we'll never be that shit.

Kek that's great, link to those threads?

Cornstarch

>the chemical additives in the oil will be absorbed into your bloodstream easier

So could you get drunk by putting alcohol in your pee pee?

Just read that one too, that was fucked.

if you really want quick absorption, shove it up your ass

Once.

Are you sure you belong on this website

Just find a carfu

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Inb4 thread 404

It's archived now. But among those stories was a gem about a guy that had to unclog a drain in some female showers. Two words which will send shivers into your guts; blood mushrooms.

Honestly, sometimes I wonder that, too. But I just try to keep away from the worst autism and ignore the really retarded threads. That usually works.

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Were there pics?

Thank all that is fuck there weren't. I was just about to eat breakfast and the mental image alone made me want to go and buy all of the drain cleaner.

I can actually imagine Itsuki asking Iketani a question like this, and then Iketani does that confident lean and says .

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Here I capped the post, Anonymous always delivers

One time when I was around 16, I saw one of those pictures on /b/ showing how to make a poor man's fleshlight. Being the horny teenager I was, I grabbed a cup, put two sponges in it, and then put a latex glove on the cup. I was pretty proud of myself. The only problem was, I didn't have any lube. I was in the kitchen looking for a lube substitute and I figured that dish soap would work. Well, I fucked that fucker good and it felt alright, it wasn't terribly special or anything but I suppose it was better than just jacking off. Once I finished, I threw it all away. However, being the lazy fuck that I was, I didn't wash off my dick. The next day I woke up and it felt like my crotch was on fire. I pulled down my pants and my dick looked like a fucking molting snake. I didn't really know what to do but it hurt like a mother. Then I got an erection and all the dry skin started cracking and I was in even more pain.

Don't be like me.

Trust me, looks like a good idea, so much regret. DONT DO IT OP!!!

/k/: a magical place

You'll get a rash. From one, it being on your skin. And two, you beating your meat with a substance that has the ability to give a rash

>women are just as civilized and intelligent as Jews and Muslims.
No surprises there.

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