Mom wants me to pay to live home, should i just pay her?

Soft_member
Soft_member

So me and my brohter have been living with only our mom since i was about 6 years old (16 years total).
Earlier this week mom said i need to pay her 110 EUR/115 USD each month because she needs more money (she wastes too much, but get angry when i mention it).
Is it normal to pay their parents money for living home at age of 19?
I'm a nice kid but she is so rude at me and my brother lately. Should i just say fuck it and pay her 1320 EUR/1380 USD each year until i buy my own place?
I dont help alot home, but that is because she prefers to be alone. Ofcourse i could help her with laundry but i dont need to, so i dont. But on the other side, i'm not really a shitkid. I'm always being super nice and do everything she says. She can argue with me with anything, but if i say anything thats "attacking" her opinion she gets like crazy angry and almost cry, its seriously pathethic trust me, i cant even try to be funny to her.
She also says i shower way too much and its only my fault the water bill is so expensive.
I shower 5 times a week for about 10-15 min each. + 5-10 min showers 3 times a week after i been working out (Its not like super crazy right?.
She also pay for all my food (which is dinner + bread with ham and cheese i make myself (she pay).
If i dont pay each month, she will be upset. Is there any arguments i cant use or should i just pay her?
I'm saving 90% of my income for my 3.2% interest house account, so that means i'm not wasting my money atleast.
So the things she pay for me is Housing, food (and making dinner), washing my clothes, pay water bills, electricity.
I'm helping her with cutting grass in our garden and such, so if i moved she would have more things to do and i think she is happy i'm still living at home.
Sorry if i repeated some of the things twice, but i think i got every important thing down.
I REALLY APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE ANSWER!

hairygrape
hairygrape

You're 19. Get the fuck out or contribute. Don't you have a sense of pride?

You are full of millennial entitlement and the sooner you get that shit out of your system the better.

"In the old days" you'd be toiling the dirt since age 12, or you'd be sitting in a ditch with a panzerfaust in your paws.

Your mom might be a cunt, but you are one too. Grow up.

Methnerd
Methnerd

Mfw 27 and don't pay a penny

PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

Time to grow up and move out.

I've been there mate. And came out better after leaving.

Carnalpleasure
Carnalpleasure

That was rough, well i guess i needed a headsup, thanks dude. If anyone else have any comments. please drop em below! :)

Emberfire
Emberfire

mfw I'm 28, live with my mother and she won't allow me to pay for anything
mfw she doesn't want me to leave
mfw I'm saving up money for my future business in the meantime

SniperWish
SniperWish

First of all, it's not normal to pay your parents to live with them, even after 18. Having said that, if you're earning enough, why not help her a little?
Probably I would help her, but at the same time I'd have a serious talk with her about her wasting so much money. If she doesn't care about what you're saying or starts crying, don't give her shit.

RavySnake
RavySnake

the problem is OP is that there is really no objective argument to be had here,

she wants you to pay, you don't want to pay.

parents or guardians until a certain age have a legal obligation to provide for you, but after that there are no hard lines drawn in the way of what is a right or wrong arrangement between parents and children.

It goes without saying that if you are living with ANYONE, but especially your own mother, to contribute in the way of doing your share of the chores, upkeep of the house, picking up after yourself, and so on, money is just a more tangible form of contribution.

If you don't agree the arrangement is fair, its in your power to withdraw from the situation. it is after all, HER house..

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

Either pay up or move out. It's that simple. There's nothing you can argue about

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

My pleasure. I am full of painful truths today. But really. Sort out your shit. Contribute, by running a tidy home or by money. I spent a large part of my life being a parasite, but things really turned around for me when I started caring about others more than myself.

It really is to your own benefit to start acting like an adult in all situations.

Good luck to you.

eGremlin
eGremlin

NEET spotted

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

That shit probably does not help you one bit. I could do that with my own mom, but I'd rather do the adult thing.

Pajeets stay with their families all their lives. See what they are like.

Better for you and better for her.

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

Wagecuck coping. Did mommy kick you out?
I'm 28 and live at home comfortably. I haven't had a job in the last 3 years because I hate working. I earn $200/month with my affiliate site, it's not enough to live on my own but at least I don't hate myself like when I used to work with idiots.
"The old days" are over, the new world order is here and soon everyone will realize that you don't have to work fulltime to earn your right for living comfortably.

But OP how much you earn? Do you study? You could give your mom a little each month to help with the bills, I do it when I see that we are short on money but if she's mean to you without a cause then I say you should look for ways to move out.

Booteefool
Booteefool

you should pay for the marginal increases in the cost of living due to you being there
that definitely includes food, and probably a nominal amount for utilities as you mentioned
just at least pay for food senpai, i'm a shutin and i have to pay my mom for that at the least or i'll be homeless, and i get charged twice what you do

King_Martha
King_Martha

You know what doesn't help me one bit? my shitty earnings of ~1000€. That's why I'm saving money.

Soft_member
Soft_member

Wow. 28 years old. Making $200 a month.

Holy shit.

takes2long
takes2long

wagecuck coping
Not at all. I do affiliate marketing too. But If I made 200 per month I'd probably kill myself.

How the hell do you make only 200 per month when all your expenses are paid, you have free bandwidth and oceans of time to use?

earn your right for living comfortably.
You have no rights except dirt to dirt, ashes to ashes.

Bidwell
Bidwell

It's just a neet spiral user. 1000 is enough to get out. Move to a cheaper country. Use your mom's generosity to help you get out if you get into trouble instead.

idontknow
idontknow

What do you do? And where?
The main reason because I'm a NEET is because in my country I only find jobs that pay ~€300/month and no the living costs are not that low either. I rather live at home and make 150-200/month with online affiliate stuff than work as a slave for 300/month. (It's not even enough to rent an apartment in my city.)

lostmypassword
lostmypassword

In commercial real estate, that's known as 'forced appreciation'.

Maybe your mom has old kneepads you could borrow?

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

literally everyone i know pays housekeeping. You're such a moron lmao

Methshot
Methshot

No you idiot, she means that it's time for you to move out.

Snarelure
Snarelure

You're a textbook loser.

Skullbone
Skullbone

No been in a full time job since I was 16,I pay for some of the food and help out around the house ,my family just isn't degenerate enough to charge me to live there

Firespawn
Firespawn

It's just a neet spiral
I see why you think that, but actually my fiancée is finishing med school and we're moving out together in maybe 2 years' time.
1000 is enough to get out
Yes, but not enough to save up for a future project I have in mind.
Move to a cheaper country
All of my life is here dude. The surplus in earnings could never compensate for the loss of my friends, gf and family, as well as my city where I just love living in.

What do you do? And where?
Freelance psychologist, Barcelona

I'd look for at least a half-time job dude. Even if they pay shit it opens doors to new opportunities you can't fathom right now. You have to move in some direction, any direction, and know people, make yourself a network.
Shit, I don't like working either (nobody does) but it's just a way to try and live confortably in the future- make my own business, start earning some substantial cash, or at least try to. I can always go back with mom if I fail.

SniperWish
SniperWish

If I was your dad and you insisted living at home, I'd charge you rent and board.

But I'd put that money in the bank and give it back to you five years after you moved out.

WebTool
WebTool

You have no rights except dirt to dirt, ashes to ashes.
We have very different views on life so I won't waste my time.

Btw what is your niche (in general)? I made a small review site that has 25 amazon products on it. (Amazon referral rate: 4-7%)
I knew a guy who promoted scam sites of binary options and made 10k a month but I can't do that for moral reasons.

In my country if you don't have a job and you don't live in the capital city you can apply for welfare.. for like 3 months then they send you to do communal works and pay you $200/month. Unemployment rate is low but everyone is dirt poor and yes we are in the EU.

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

literally everyone i know pays housekeeping

Supergrass
Supergrass

We have very different views on life so I won't waste my time.
can apply for welfare
can get $200/month
Then those are your rights, literally.

Btw what is your niche (in general)?
I have basically sold anything on the internet. From legal highs to antique weaponry. My current breadwinner is Ebay sales of a print-on-demand product. Got thousands of listings up at any one time. Also have a b2b service in a certain niche that gets me about 25% of my income.

If I was mollycoddled at home I would never have gotten "this far". In my life, I need to be unhappy to be motivated.

made a small review site that has 25 amazon products on it. (Amazon referral rate: 4-7%)
Yes. Used to do Amazon too. Got canned for a mistake. Big problem. Good gig if one makes it big enough and do it the right way (ie by the book).

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

Freelance psychologist
OK, at least now I know why your 'motivating' words are so familiar. But no, I won't do anything I don't want to do anymore, I was playing an act for years pretending that I like to work in an office while I hated it. It was so traumatic that I rather live as a monk for years now than go back to an office working with pretentious stupid people.
I was depressed, had serious anxiety, took pills and stuff like that, now I'm getting better going out more and more but I still feel the same.

Methnerd
Methnerd

If I worked at some shitty office, having to eat my manager's ass daily in order to be promoted, I'd kill myself. Office jobs are for people who don't have self-standards and just want to cash in every month until they die, with no higher purpose than to have money. Even if it means working for somebody who doesn't know you exist and drives a Maserati while getting road head from an escort.

Out of the office world there's a whole world of opportunities. While I hate working, doing nothing almost killed me the whole year I was a NEET. My mental health just exploded. Truth be told, I do like my job. It's rewarding. The freelance thing requires personal sacrifice, but I'm free to do whatever I please and schedule my agenda however I want.
at least now I know why your 'motivating' words are so familiar
I'm not speaking from a therapist's point of view, it's fully personal. The more I move, the more opportunities show up, albeit slowly as fuck. I persevere in hopes I can open my own business once I have the cash & connections and live leisurely in the future.

TurtleCat
TurtleCat

What the fuck does it mean to be a freelance psychologist? Do you even have your own office or do you meet people in a coffee shop?

I mean, a lot of psychologists have their own independent practices, but I've never heard of one being "freelance."

Do you have any credentials? Are you licensed?

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

To be fair to him, it ain't like it used to be.

In 1970 you could get a job at a factory and have enough to buy a house, car, and save for retirement.

Now even with a "good" white collar job you can barely afford a shit home and a shitbox car. If you're lucky you'll have enough left over for a 12 pack of Natural Light.

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

You know what? Thank you! It was a really interesting post.
I'm trying to go out more and have an open mind to notice those opportunities. I'm trying to go running and exercising daily and then working on projects I'm interested in. But when you mess up, wake up at 12 and you don't know what to do with yourself... where to go... you can easily waste another day with playing games and browsing mindlessly. I'm trying though.

Poker_Star
Poker_Star

Yes I am licensed. I do have my office. Freelance in the sense that I don't work for anyone, I have no boss, and I have to look for my clients everywhere on my own. It's hard, but every little achievement feels good.

I'm glad I helped in some way. But I think you are too passive about your day to day activities. Just get a job, any crap thing will do. It provides mental stability and a sense of self-worth. Don't be at an office, try being a bartender, or a door to door salesman, or anything. You could always quit. But opportunities have to find you on the move, you can't just wait until they show up -- they never do.
What projects are you interested in?

5mileys
5mileys

You say that I'll have a sense of self-worth when I got a job as a bartender, salesman, etc... the problem is that I think the other way around. When I worked in an office I felt like the lowest of the low, my boss even said to me that I should be prouder for working there... I know it's flawed thinking but I look down on myself when I work as an average employee. I don't know why I have more respect for myself now when I'm just sitting at home avoiding people, but I do.

What projects are you interested in?
The problem is that I have too many interests and none in real depth. I love photography and I realized that I can use it to motivate myself: go out and take photos and make a blog. But there's another voice in me that says "don't kid yourself, everyone thinks they are a photographer and they have way more professional cameras, why do you even bother?"

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

Yes its normal. She may not be cooking your meals and sucking your dick but she's providing some service and a cheap home.
Saving your money may be a fine idea, but you're draining it out of her.

It's down to you, drain your mother for your own financial gain or help to support the family partially at your expense.
There's no right answer, just what's more right for you.

farquit
farquit

doing nothing almost killed me the whole year I was a NEET

you can say that again. i don't know how anyone can go on living as a NEET for more than a month or two. you have people that have been NEETs for fucking years, some decades. how do you not go crazy?

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

23 same here feels good jpeg, just gonna save money desu

Lunatick
Lunatick

protip: if she had any hope for your success she wouldnt ask for it.

she thinks ur a bad investment

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

damn this is cringe. really wish people like this didn't give others advice....

PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

Bbbbbbbbbbb but user he makes 200 a month
He rich

Emberfire
Emberfire

Jesus Christ I'm so sick of hearing this shit from snowflakes. Your life is nowhere near as bad as you think it is. You've just never had the chance to spread your wings. Whose fault? You decide. But in the US the world is your oyster.

Until you get your heads out of your entitled asses and accept that your future is what you make of it you will remain stuck in "Nigger Entitled Mode 1.0". That includes you white fuckers, too.

JunkTop
JunkTop

Bump

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

hoping this is satire of the millennial mindset.
rather make 40k/y at a job that they love vs 120k/y at one they hate

If you're not good at what you're doing you'll never like it. I fucking sucked at math and I hated it. I studied it a fuck ton back when I played blackjack professionally and got into finance and now I love it.

Used to hate sales but then I got good at it and nothing makes my dick harder.

Every person ever fired from my sales team was a Bernie or Hillary supporter. Weak people don't belong in business.

RavySnake
RavySnake

u
you shower enough...
help her out though, she's your mom, she's getting old and maybe crazy.
doesn't need you joking needs you helping otherwise she wouldn't ask.
thing is moms are usually resentful and really impatient so they can't really explain themselves
it's annoying but they're just old people... they're basically children without the cuteness,
you have to recognize that, love your mom take care of her, fuck your brother thought that twat can suck dick

TechHater
TechHater

Every person ever fired from my sales team was a Bernie or Hillary supporter. Weak people don't belong in business.
Kek

I'm in sales and Hillary/Bernie clients are the easiest ones to make sales with. Quote a high price and they'll take it with no questions asked. But get a Trump supporter and they will drive a hard bargain and get you to negotiate down to the lowest price you'll accept.

The art of the deal.

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

She shouldn't even have to ask for money. If you're earning, you should want to contribute. A third of income was what I paid. Until it's you paying the bills, you won't get how reasonable this is.

farquit
farquit

In "the old days" gas was a quarter a gallon and you could easily pay your way through college working a minimum wage job during your summer's and getting a job was a million times easier.

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

if you're working, you pay.
I paid my mum $90 a week.

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

Run, get your own place, you'll lost some money but earn mental peace, your mother seems, and pardon me for saying this, like a spoiled or crazy woman.

askme
askme

thinking the panzerfaust generation or the agrarian workers of 1920 ever had access to cars
believing your baby boomer parents weren't the first and only generation in history that got money for nothing.
Get back to school user.

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

heroically participate in war
fire missiles at tanKs
raping and plundering
maybe die in battle

Ya id take that over your life prob and definitely OPs

Sharpcharm
Sharpcharm

Exactly. So it is time for the OP to join the Peshmerga and get out of his mom's house.

Goes for you too, probably.

Illusionz
Illusionz

YEAH! He should throw away literal free money! What a grand piece of advice.

Garbage Can Lid
Garbage Can Lid

Thanks for the advice everyone, guess i just stfu and pay her my 110 EUR a month. :(