Stopped at light

>stopped at light
>family in a minivan behind me
>shift into reverse
>dad blasts his horn in a panic
>light turns green
>drive off
How much of an asshole on the road are you?

Other urls found in this thread:

>be me
>live in relatively wealthy area
>me drive shitbox
>have about a 30 minute commute, non highway, 4 lane roads with big median in the middle
>about 2 years ago start recognizing this other shitbox that takes almost my exact route
>sync my coffee schedule
>wait till some fag middle manager in some german wannabe shit gets behind me who's clearly late for work
>sync up with fellow shitbox driver
>never pull up even with other shitbox but never give more than a car length to let middle management faggot who's late for work in front
>pretend i'm ignoring them or lost in a daydream and blast tunes
>wew lads they get mad
>no i mean people get real mad on the road
>i think i got addicted to it
>started waiting in a parking lot until i saw other shitbox drive go by so i could do it every day
>i did this every day for like 3 months
>finally had to look in the mirror and think about what i was becoming
>i still smirk when i think about it sometimes

Sometimes I accidentally tailgate people because I'm looking further ahead through the corners.

I cut a guy off yesterday and I still feel bad

>second year with my license
>stopped at light with left-turn-only lane
>some fucker in a BMW pulls up in the left turn lane to get ahead of the ~3 cars behind me
>light turns
>scoot ahead of him
>he wasn't expecting such speed from a shitty old '98 Camry since the V6 badge fell off
>has to slam on the brakes to avoid driving into the cars in the left-turn lane on the other side
>watch as he tries (and fails) to edge in front of the soccermom suburban right behind me
>manages to get back into the lane behind a few other cars
>drive right at the speed limit
>stop for every turning car
>make it through the town center maybe 10 minutes later (should've taken 3 tops)
>road splits back into 2 lanes
>pulls up again, same kind of intersection
>the guy is fucking fuming
>this time he floors it as soon as the light turns
>watch as he gets pulled over by a cop seconds later

>spot an autotragic sports car behind me
>stoplight/sign ahead
>maximum engine brake
>laugh at them for purchasing the irony that is an automatic sports car

I do this too.

I drive more slowly when I'm being tailgated.

>on the interstate
>regular ~70mph speed
>two car lengths away from lady in a ford explorer
>she keeps looking at me in her rear view mirror
>"lol what is she looking at me for?"
>I decide to get closer to her bumper, for the lulz
>she notices and keeps glancing back at me in her rear view mirror with ever-increasing urgency and frequency
> for a moment she locks in her vision to me in her rear view mirror
>traffic ahead of us slows down
>she hits the car in front of her
>I change lanes and pass
>she and the other driver pull over to the side to exchange insurance

I felt bad but also I laughed when it happened and she saw me laugh

Few stories I can think of, in chronological order maybe
>first started driving
>utter sleep-deprived retard
>pull out right in front of woman dropping her kid off at high school
>wave at her as if I have somewhere important to go and she's a secondary concern, even though it was completely accidental

>School had fairly narrow parking spaces, everyone has big trucks or 'stangs, so this kind of thing happens a lot
>Lightly touch some girl's SUV while pulling in to park
>Reverse and correct
>Get out and look at her car, not a single mark anywhere
>Walked right by girl, she said not a word
>Continue in to school and go about my day
>Later people ask me if I 'rammed' someone in the parking lot
Turns out the attention whore had nothing else to talk about so she created this big dramatic story about me slamming into her, then ignoring her cries of alarm and walking away. Again, she said nothing.

Also a while after that someone lightly bumped my truck from behind in the same parking lot, significantly harder than I bumped the girl. I found out that day that it happens all the time and no one usually gives a fuck. High schools are fuckin' weird, don't get your kids anything expensive while they're in there.

#3, less me being an asshole and more OP reminding me of something else
>Later on, in college
>At the worst turn I've ever had to make on a daily basis, can't see what's coming for shit through the wall of cars on my right
>Start to pull out, suddenly see wheels rolling underneath wall of cars
>Stop and back up like two feet
>Car behind me fucking blasts horn like I'm about to murder their only son, I'm nowhere near them and have already stopped

That's my blog for the day hope you enjoyed :)

He will forget about it before you do

Oh shit, I forgot about the time a crossing guard that was universally hated at that high school wouldn't let any students out for like 5 or 10 minutes for no reason, and I called her a stupid fucking bitch as loud as I could on the way by

She definitely heard by the look on her face, and I feel bad about it now. I was a pretty quiet kid that had never lost my cool to an adult till then, makes me sad to think about that obese crossing guard woman that everyone hated

Thank you again for subscribing to my blog

Look at it this way, user. There's a good chance that she's dead now, so she can't feel the pain of your mean words anymore.

It was me. I forgive you.

This. I just downshit from 5th to 4th and watch them shit themselves once they realize what's happening.

It's way more delicious than brake checking, because at the end of the day, the majority of people are pussies who are afraid of a little ding in their car. Especially if you have a trailer hitch.

You fucking broke him..

Also, this happened yesterday:
>Driving home for work
>Take some half-rural road to avoid the worst of the traffic
>Still a lot of traffic coming in the opposite direction
>Guy in Audi A6 comes up from behind
>I was already going 15km/h over limit
>He wants to overtake, but can't get enough room, so begins to tailgate me instead
>I just keep downshifting and speed up once he starts to brake
>He just never fucking take the hint
Lasted a good 30km until we came up to a traffic light and he had to turn left
He was fucking fuming.

>How much of an asshole on the road are you?

>be livelong wussy
>hit middle age
>getting fat, balding, grey hair
>time to do something manly
>attention and awe = manliness
>not black or Meskin, so blasting ethnic music out the windows of a donk or a low rider out of the question
>decide to model myself after group of white "tough guys" notorious for drug dealing, violence and not bathing
>blow kids college fund on Harley Davidson and full set of leather clothing from local gay bdsm store
>rip every trace of a muffler off
>neighbors complain
>tell them, "Loud Pipes Save Lives, lol"
>neighbors still give me disgusted looks
>start flying giant Merkin flag off back of bike
>neighbors now just avert eyes, but young girls still don't think I'm sexy
>might think I'm gay
>put fat slag of a wife in leather, too, and ride around with her in the bitch seat
>meet other rolling fatbodies in leather, decide to form "gang"
>police now giving us the hairy eyeball
>need to "legitimize" ourselves in the eyes of the law and the public
>decide to co-opt important cause that sounds unquestionably patriotic
>MIA-POW will do
>chubby attention hounds around the nation now joining up
>now have annual meets in some middle of nowhere town in the middle of a nowhere state more famous for unhappy Injuns
>still not enough attention
>time to head to Washington DC
>we call ourselves...ROLLING THUNDER

>tailgate everyone
>pass at every opportunity, even when it's inappropriate(ie narrow streets)
>accelerate in a two way narrow street with parked cars when i see a car coming in the opposite way just to intimidate him and force him to break out of fear while i skillfully pass with just a few inches from him
>sustained honk when people don't turn signal forcing me to brake behind him instead of just swerving to the side
It's not my fault if I'm too confident and enjoy the adrenaline too much

That's fucking beautiful, user. Before the wife took over my old shitbox, I used to get me some good laughs leaving guys like that behind in roundabouts. I guess some people are just afraid of a little tire squeal and don't know how to drive their cars when it's not a straight line. Of course they would catch up from time to time, but I got pretty good at timing it so they ended up two or three cars behind me. I never understood why someone would buy a beemer or merc and then go on to not enjoy how it corners under speed.

I've always wondered if blindfolds and paper crowns was included as standard equipment when buying beamers and mercedes.

Yes, yes it is.

I would honestly be surprised if there wasn't at least a botched lasik and a stick up the ass included in the deal.

Also; witnessed!

Not bad.

>Light on steepest hill in town, think San Francisco steep
>Asian lady pulls up close to me.. really close.
>Let foot of brake a little, roll back
>Frantic honking
>Hold hill with clutch, rolling back and forth, fuck it it's worth it
>Arm waving from Asian lady and honking intensifies
>She gets out of car yelling with accent "why your old car brakes don't work, you need to get off road, you almost hit my car"

Sometimes I'll kick my rear end out into the opposite lane as there is oncoming traffic.

>chink giving other people grief about driving

This genuinely upsets me

>be me three days ago
>first time driving stick and first time driving a miata
>leaving gas station where there is a big hill to get onto the road
>soccer mom explorer right on my ass
>try to take off but roll backwards
>go WOT and let the clutch fully out
>manage to stay in my lane without spinning out

it felt pretty good 2bh

yea lack of throttle control is really fun and cool and wow your so cool please keep living

so all the 50whp almost killed you huh ?

>never tailgate
>when tailgated switch lanes immediately
>indicate early when i see someone in the mirror coming closer very fast so they dont even have to break

makes me happy to brighten up someone elses day even a tiny bit

I do this too, but I do realize it's entirely my fault and I'm a complete asshole.

Good dog

Glad to know I'm not the only one who doesn't play these games.
Just get the fuck outta the way and enjoy your commute.
Why you gotta antagonize retarded and potentially psychotic faggots that are unpredictable?

>Brake check anyone who drives too close for comfort (usually has to be "can't see their headlights in mirror" close). Then, proceed to drive at about half the speed limit. Especially satisfying if it's a taxi driver. Many times brake check with handbrake, since lol rear drum brakes and handle-type brake that allows instant actuation
>Be buddies with a greengrocer who sells me the stuff that's going bad at ridiculously low price/basically free (mostly to use as compost)
>Use said partially rotten produce, especially tomatoes, bananas, and potatoes (for fuck's sake, the smell) to throw out the sunroof/windows to the cars that are acting too aggressive/assholes. Truckers and 20-30 year old drivers are usually the victims of these
>Make rolling roadblocks to aggressive drivers. There are lots of slow trucks that move a full chassis of sand around my area, and I make extensive use of them
>Prevent the assholes in stoplights/traffic from passing on the right by accelerating like a madman and forcing them behind me because of the parked vehicles on the side of the road
>More than once used the shitty plastic overfenders, door protectors and bumpers to my advantage. I didn't budge a millimeter and the little hot shits scraped the FUCK out of their paint, usually in the metallic bits of their cars (rear doors and rear quarter panels(!) are common). The plastic just gets another almost undetectable battle scar, nothing bad after rubbing the paint transfer off with WD40 or similar
>Have sprayed 2 aggressive assholes (and their car interiors) with my trusty fire extinguisher over the course of 5 years

I'm in the process of getting a some rear-facing strobes to install for people who tailgate at night. They're tiny (pretty much undetectable under inspection by de friendly bolice :DDDD) and ridiculously bright, and since they keep turning on and off, they're MUCH worse than just a couple of rear-facing off-road lights

I ran a scion off the road once.
Good times.

When you get rear ended, yeah, they're legally at fault, but you're the one with a fucked neck and a steering wheel shaped dent on your forehead. If they're big enough and going fast enough, you won't even live. If they have a dashcam showing you stopping for no reason and throwing shit at people, they won't even get a ticket.

Remember that.

At 90mph, and with your son in the car?


You weren't driving an AE86, you're not Dagumi, but you still pretended you were doing the gutter technique, huh?

Actual adults spotted

I really hope that everyone in this thread is bullshitting.

People here don't drive fast. Think 35 MPH max outside major inter-city driving. Neither do they drive big vehicles, not much bigger than the ones I drive anyway. The largest things out there, four door Ram pickups, are extremely rare, and they're surprisingly gentle since they're so big, relatively expensive, and have to deal with lots of traffic. The greatest offenders tend to be uber-shitboxes and higher end cars, usually driven by young retards

I must be the only fucker in the country who knows about the concept of a dashcam. Another thing is, the city/street layout is so that if I were to stomp on my brakes randomly, I could probably get away with it by saying "I thought I saw something about to run out the street between the cars". I have a friend who deals in insurance (manages his father's own insurance company) and told me that I'm almost certainly in the clear with that excuse. Judges here are lenient if you go "I saw a lil chillun about to run out da street", because sadly there have been two cases in the last 4 years of children under 11 years old run over by inattentive drivers, literally in front of their school, while they were leaving for home/being picked up by their parents

A broken neck and missing teeth from smashing my steering wheel? Nigga I don't put myself in front of a runaway semi truck expecting it to stop on a dime. I don't put myself in front of things much more massive than the things I drive period, I've seen enough LiveLeak videos to know where that leads

I do all of these except switching lanes when being tailgated

> be parts delivery driver
>driving down 2 lane road
>going the speed limit bc cruisin
>melanin rich female in Hyundai behind me
>takes zero chances to pass
>decides to tailgate instead
>I can't even see her headlights
>lay on the brakes for a good half second
>she's come all the way into the other lane to avoid me
>flips me off and I return the favor
>see the flash of her camera in my rear view
>like it'll do anything

One more for now

>morning commute
>teen in a new Lexus behind me
>in the far right lane
>the left lane is wide open
>can't see his headlights
>hold an empty bottle out the window
>let go
>the wind carries it into his windshield
>he swerves around like he just found a snake in his boot
>can see his BRIGHT ORANGE IPHONE in the mirror

I drive nicely unless someone's fucking with me. I always signal, go ~7-10 over, slowly merge/change lanes, don't hang in the passing lane etc.
Unless someone starts tailgating me or some shit. Then I fuck with them, engine braking and speeding up etc.

I will never get out of anyone's way. I am doing the speed limit, there is no reason they need to pass me.

Autofags BTFO

Other than slaloming safely through traffic on expressways and multi-lane highways, going 10-20 mph faster than everybody else, I try to avoid being an asshole.

The only time I would cut somebody off is whenever there's a sudden lane change from somebody near me.

>Driving down two lane road
>Speed limit 50 mph
>Going 55 in the left lane
>Car in front of me in the left lane rapidly approaching, they have to be going 40
>Decide to flash my lights
>"This shit never works, why did I even bother doing tha-"
>He changes lanes
>The nine divines were looking down on me that day

You sound autistic and like a terrible driver.

>fastie tailgating me
>slightly touch my breaks just to turn on the lights
>fastie immediately freaks out and steps on the breaks

joke's on you, I'm fully aware of my surroundings and never use my phone while driving

Pretty sure the car would stall and turn off if you just let the clutch like a tard

Found footage of you.

We have a lot of those morons with the lifted trucks that drive with their brights and foglights on.
I drive a small hatchback, so their lights shine directly into my back window and into my rear-view mirror.

I slow down to force them to change lanes, then I down shift for that torque to get as far away as possible from them.

They're the asshole here, not me.

>Thread for stories of when we were terrible / dick-ish drivers
>"You sound like a terrible driver"

terrible in the sense of unskilled, not being a jerk

Yeah, no shit, like when you first start driving as a dumb child.

What the fuck is your point?

If you have a real job nobody gives a shit if you're hours late as long as you get it done when you're there

>be at gas station the other day in S2000
>completely done, pump is back on hook
>nigger rolls up in impala
>he isn't armed
>literally just walk away
>he just stands there
I think I just autisticed my way out of getting mugged also I don't carry cash

>soldier pic
stormfags pls go

Hey, Matty Matheson's a class A guy

>tfw either going full throttle or by the speed limit
>tfw always move out of the way just like you when doing the speed limit to let people pass without any problems
>tfw always move aside for bikers and allow them enough room to pass
>tfw always try to read the situation in advance so that I can contribute to the best traffic flow possible in any given situation
>tfw always stay away from everyone, never tailgate, never cause them to make any type of maneuver because of me

I love being a goody-two-shoes faggot when not driving like in tokyo drift and see drivers and bikers thanking me, it makes my dick diamonds

i always drive 10km/h under the limit because if driving 50km/h kinda sucks because its too low for 4th gear but a bit too high for 3rd lol

>Dont wear a seatbelt and you can master the ability to kill someone with a headbutt with no self-harm and summon ketchup


This. Lifted truck drivers are the most annoying retards on the road period.

>going 10 over on highway in left lane
>red dodge ram quickly approaches
>right lane wide open
>stomp brake so he fucks off and passes
>he gets in right lane, passes, gets in front of me, brake checks me
>i get in right lane and let the throttle wide open and speed away

nobody learned anything

more recently

>single lane country road
>presumably a dumb bitch in a white lexus rx quickly approaching
>blip brake for less than a second, just enough so my brake lights come on, before she is even close
>she practically slams on her brakes 100 ft behind me

white lexus rx is THE dumb middle aged spoiled bitch car

theres also this heinous left turn on my way home, road gets very low traffic but sometimes people are driving behind me when i take said turn, so i indicate early and go onto the oncoming lane when its clear so they can pass without slowing down

I reversed into an Amarok yesterday because I was parked right behind a guy, and this idiot in the VW parked about 40cm behind me, so I used the "braille method" to get out of the park

>look for kids with VWs, Mustangs, Chargers, and other my first cool cars™
>try get them to race at lights
>prepare for launch
>green light
>they launch at turbo tard speeds
>I let my rpms drop and roll out like a normie going to pick up the kids from soccer practice
>they get pulled over by the cops for stunt driving and probably get a ton of points or suspended
>cruise by doing 5km/h under and wave or salute

always remember where your local speed traps are, friendoos :^)

>Town gets tired of people wrecking on a road that has been 35 miles an hours since speed limits were a thing
>Drop it to 25
>everyone still drives 45 on it.
>everyone, except me.
>Drive along at 30 miles an hours because I know the cops around me love to give tickets for 6 over but 5 they let slide.
>Someone in a mustang starts to tailgate me.
>Not close for comfort tailgating mind you, bumper nearly up the ass end of my truck.
>Welp, you asked for this, speed limit it is.
>Proceeded to drive the speedlimit the rest of the way to the center of town.
>Didn't lose a second of travel time because town center has long ass line of cars at traffic light, look back, lady in the mustang is fuming mad, flipping me off despite the fact that we didn't lose any time.
>I have to turn left, she turns left as well and gets right on my ass once more.
>Bitch you didn't learn the first time, five under it is.
>She goes to make a turn to take one of the two ways back to my place, I usually take the second because it is one less stop sign.
>Say fuck it and make the turn, she doesn't.
>beat her to intersection of two paths.
>she follows me into the neighborhood but turns a street before mine
>Say fuck it and loop around.
>see her getting out of the mustang a half block up from me
>Get on the PA "Tailgaters are assholes" as I drive by smiling like a fiend.

I think she is still pissed at me for that.

I would do this too but no one has tried to race me, I only get stares and occasional people complimenting it when next to me. I wonder how awkward it would be if both people do this, I'm sure it's happened to someone before.

Doing god's work. Too bad the other shitheads on the road don't do this.

>Drive 1.5 hours each way for work everyday on a rural highway followed immediately by an urban highway
>country bumpkins like to take their time on the rural highway so I leave early to account for their shit
>on friday I get in traffic and just sit in the right lane doing 60 mph cause the left lane is being held up but a big truck carrying construction equipment
>directly on said trucks ass is a white vw jetta wagon tdi with blue LEDs on the license plate
>tdi starts moving erratically, passes truck on left shoulder, gets in front of it and slams their brakes flips them off and honks their horn
>truck instinctively brakes and swerves a bit into left lane almost hitting my beetle and 2 other cars.
>traffic continues moving slowly because country bumpkins gunna bumpkin
>jetta wagon is now on ass of another truck
>repeats above offense almost causing a pile up with all the vehicles in the left lane.
>Jetta repeats a third time but this time the asshole made the mistake of doing it in my lane
>I pull out my phone, call 911, report his plate, make, color, model
>State trooper gets him half a mile later
God Bless Nanny States

>First learning how to drive
>In my mom's minivan
>With my mom in the passenger seat
>Change lanes like an idiot and cut off some girls
>Girls rightfully honk at me
>Mom gets pissy and flips them off like it was somehow their fault
She has some issues

if you are in the left lane and someone is going faster you are legally supposed to get over in Indiana and numerous other states/countries.

Riding with mom or driving with mom riding is literally the worst for me. Been over 10 years and when my brother and I went to visit them for spring break this year I was reminded of all the childhood horrors all over again.

>Be on S-curve
>Grand Rapids
>Some guy in an all black muscle car in front of us
>Notice the license plate
>I shit you not
>Traffic jam
>Vader decides to pull off to the side and drive along the shoulder
>Or at least what constitutes a shoulder on an overpass
>Speeds around everyone
>10 minutes later we pull up along side him
>Turns out he wasn't the only maniac on the road trying to use the shoulder
I thought it was illegal for 12 year olds to drive?

GTA cars are breaking out into the real world

I can think of a few
>daily route to work
>55mph 2 lane road with a few suburbs
>soccer moms stopping to turn left
>pass them on gravel/dirt/whatever is there
>dont even slow down

sometimes they shit themselves and dont turn for another 4-5 seconds

>road widening from 1 to 2 lanes
>idiot stops to turn into dealership
>pass as close as possible without hitting car

>driving 88hp shitbox
>some boomer in a kia soul has cruise control on at 45 in a 55
>start to pass him on a hill
>he accelerates to 50
>car is floored
>oil pressure is pegged
>coolant temps rising
>boomer is disturbed by raw amount of noise emanating from my vehicle
>exchange a nice long stare as I pass him
>fucker stops to turn right at the top of the hill

>Aim windshield washer hoses so they point at the people next to me
>shoots washer fluid into their car and windows

Dammit Tyler.

>driving through town
>come up on a stop light that changed to green maybe 10 seconds ago
>doing like 25
>retard decides to walk across the road anyway
>I slow to not hit him
>get a brilliant idea
>apply handbrake fully
>get nice tire sounds as I pull up to the fuck
>just stare him down as I do it
>he literally almost falls as he trys to run out of the way

>be me riding a bicycle
>tiny-ass shoulder to ride on
>car approaching on other side of road
>they see me, turn their brights on
>now I can barely see shit, I wear glasses
>nearly die by running over tree branch because can't see

Why do drivers do this

>Driving at night
>Brights on
>Cunt coming around the corner some 1km ahead
>Turns his brights off right away
>Turn mine off a few seconds later
>Appearently that took too long, because 20m before we pass eachother, he turns his on again effectively blinding me
Some people are just fucking cunts.

Me too, and I feel like I come off as more of a cunt cause I drive a Subaru

That was my wife's son, thank you very much!

As soon as someone tailgates me, or follows less than 1s behind, I immediately drop down to 5km/h under the speed limit and eyeball them in my mirror every 5 seconds.

It may be a cunt move, since everyone in my city routinely does +5-9km/h the limit, but I've been rearended once with my old car and another with my bike.
>Oh I didn't have enough time to brake
was annoying the first time
>Oh I didn't have enough time to brake
the second time got me fucking mad.