/lozg/ - The Legend of Zelda General

1 Staminoka Bass

raw whole bird

I SAY GOOD SIR, I DESIRE TO COPULATE WITH THE SPIRIT WHICH RESIDES WITHIN MY SWORD

Don't mind older women but Fi is older than most sentient races in Zelda

Hearty Fish pie
- Tabantha Wheat, Goat Butter, Rock Salt, Hearty Blueshell Snail, Hearty Bass

...

Why does this general even exist?

It really should have just been /botw/-gen when the release got close, but it's too late for all that now that we are ded again

Because Nintendo General can never be allowed to have anything worth talking about that doesn't split off to its own thread.

FUCK the rain, god damn!

Why do you even exist?

Take link off this. Link is straight.

I bet you're the faggot who spammed "GO TO Veeky Forums" on the Zelda threads a few days ago

Fuck Apaya, marry Mipha.

No one actually thinks that this is a good design or that it or anything similar would actually fit in any Zelda game at all, r-right?

babylegs

Fuck Urbosa and Link
Adopt Riju
Marry Mipha
Friendzone Paya and Zelda

Don't forget about the Tetraforce:
▲ ▲
▲ ▲

Fuck
>Urbosa

Marry
>Riju

Friendzone
>Paya
>Zelda

Kill
>Mipha

>lightning horned Lizalfos
What the fuck? Is this a joke? How do you do anything other than drop your weapons and die in one hit?

Use arrows when he uses it or throw a bomb.

berserker armor x3
lynel bow
fuck them up

fighting them early on is tedious and takes a lot of weapons/ammo

It's awful.

>shield surf korok
>start it
>start gliding
>start surfing
>your wooden shield is badly damaged
>i can make it
>i cant make it
>breaks
>ragdoll into finish line
fuck yeah
>find another korok in the water

It isn't even when he does the AoE, they can sprint up to me, make me drop my shit, and OHKO me just by touching me.

So spam arrows is the trick? What a terrible design. Yes I'm mad.

Alright I just learned that it's only constant while it's raining. Still bullshit.

Is it a waste to get BoTW on WiiU or does it not matter? My brother has a switch and is going to let me borrow it and the zelda over the summer, but I already have a WiiU and it's not like money is an issue. I just don't want to buy a switch because I'd only play zelda on it anyway. Is WiiU zelda awful or something?

Does anyone else feel like a fucking retard once they figure out a shrine that's been baffling them has a simple solution?

From what I understand it runs about the same, but I imagine the gyro bullshit is more comfortable on Switch.

it's counteracted by the feeling you get when you make your own solution up and realise the correct way only at the end

fite me irl

poor koko

im gonna draw her in her underwear

It isn't bad on Wii U, plus it's only occasional.

yea, but in my defense I was usually overthinking what was actually really simple

eg. that constellation one

Unless you are playing on the gamepad.
I don't cheese my way through shrines often but I wasn't going to deal with the shrine with gyro fire, wind, and water puzzle.

Finley

super baby legs

Well yeah, but why?

What's the highest weapon value and how do i reach it

I assume it's savage lynel crusher, so farm silver lynels, but I haven't gotten the mythical +44 attack one yet.

The more memories I unlock the less I like Zelda.

Royal Guard's Claymore can hit 116 I believe, but Savage Lynel Crusher goes to 108 and isn't made of glass.

thanks for the status update

Get them all

She's my favorite character

yea I want to cum on them too

read her journal, the development of her feelings for Link are more honest there. She acts stuck up and bitchy and that voice acting doesn't help, but in her journal you'll see that she's vulnerable, afraid, insecure, disappointed in herself, and in love with Link.

More importantly, it reveals Link is the exact same, but he just bottles everything in instead.

>She acts stuck up and bitchy
in like one cutscene

It seems like a waste to let you access the Sanctum from above and get to the throne without starting the boss fight and not put any koroks there.

That's true too. It mentions that Link feels like he has to be stoic and quiet, but he emotionally opens up to Zelda.

Too much time on my hands plus I'm an extreme procrastinator so here's Gerudo soldiers of all ranks

Teake (Maroon) is a Captain based on that rank getting Radiant shields. Everyone besides Buliara is lower ranked than her

Her voice acting job is uneven, she's bad in some scenes and good in others

I thought she was great in the ending

>tfw you've completed most of the out-in-the-open shrines and all that are left are the shrine quest ones
>all the puzzles to open the shrines are terrible and the shrines themselves are too often just blessings or tests of strength
Dear Zelda devs: standing on a spot until bumfuck-o-clock to open a shrine is not a puzzle, or at least not a good one.

To the autist saying that anyone can use Master Sword: Not true. In TP, it specifically mentions that TP cleanses everything of evil. Thats why Link was only able to turn back into Hylian form after touching the Master Sword.

>no gerudo night raids to milk men for their semen
>no cucked wives revolt raiding a pregnant gerudo camp
worse than no npcs in a frozen wasteland

Why would someone think that after Breath of the wild, where even Link had to prove himself to use the word?

The Gerudo in BotW are monogamous and want love and marriage, they don't do the rape/cuckqueen thing anymore

Is this the sexiest Zelda has ever been?

>that lewd dress
>belt just below her tits
>firm sex arms
>"cum on me" eyebrows
>exposed neck just begging to be nibbled on

in SS ghirahim becomes unable to steal it from you after it becomes the true master sword, because it repels evil

Her matching outfit makes it a little hard for me to tell her apart from Link, they're too identical

It's my favorite Zelda design by far

The reason why the Gerudo were hated was the theft but the angry housewives protesting them coming to town looking for "boyfriends" played as significant a part

Monogamy was probably forced upon them as part of the peace agreements and it later got romanticised

Thanks, Captain Obvious

Fuck off retard

I just want to FUCK her so badly, bros

What well thought out responses.

nice headcanon, fuckface.

>lynels are the only hard enemy in botw

>Lynels are har-

*headshots you*
*mounts you*

It is written, only Link can fuck Zelda

there'd actually be some difficulty if you fought them alongside other enemies
or if you fought two darknuts at once :)

you're right

I wish you could fight all the ganon blight all 4 at the same time.

for me specifically it's the green eyes.

I'm a sucker for green eyes.

i wish the game had actual bosses

I WANT FUCK FI

People keep drawing her with blue eyes and it's annoying

Too late. You got beaten to the punch

>wanting to fuck a sword

if I go to Hyrule castle for the memories, will it fuck anything up? 3/4 beasts

Like what?

How to bully Zoras

youtube.com/watch?v=lUqv3rhAjCs

Nah, as long as you don't actually go to Ganon it'll be fine.

>no pregnant gerudo wife scowling at you giving you a harsh handjob smacking your nuts every now again complaining that you ruined her body with this penis

I'm always up for bullying Zoras

Ganon had his gaseous cock in Zelda's every hole for 100 years straight

So YOU'RE the one giving my wife trouble?

Considering her lack of aging I suspect she spent her time as a being of light whilst he was an evil gas

Rather hard for any cock in hole action to occur

Being pregnant is likely to be a source of pride for a Gerudo since it's matter of the survival of their race. Probably even more joy in having multiple kids and jubilation at twins

anything new and big, i would've loved to have seen a boss utilizing the climbing and/or limb-breaking mechanics. a sea monster would've been cool, so would a giant sheikah robot. something you have to pull metal plates off of, anything like that. there are so many missed opportunities
in terms of old bosses? gohma, koloktos, one of the big plants, and of course, manpig ganon

Ganon kept her young and tight, she was there physically the whole time

the
whole
time

She's a pure virgin for Link

PURE

NO
FUCKING
DARKNUTS
or peahats

Well if rape doesn't count then yeah sure