Hey Veeky Forums so today is the day my friend and I put an end to our disputes. I own a 2013 VW tiguan 2...

miata

More tourqe and hp and our cars weigh the same amount

The fact that you are memeing means you drive something alot worse then a miata

You have no idea how cars work huh. Thats a 325xi youre lining up against. You drive a boat.

Youre both incredibly slow and get btfo by a minivan.

The numbers tell me that I should win, people dont realize that tigs have surprisingly stiff suspension

I drive a volkswagen too but it's not a tiguan because I'm not a mother

Considering the tiguan is the only decent vw vehicle you must be a middle aged white guy making 25k a year.

Pure fucking comedy.

I would be amazed if OPs age didn't end in -teen.

So you're a hairdresser?

nope, but if that were the case at least I wouldn't be some underageb& drag racing bmws in my kiddie taxi desperately trying to hide my jealousy

and I suck dicks on the side

I actually won't be surprised if the tiguan wins. YouTube them literally pulling trucks and jeeps around in tug of war test because the torque is dank. As for your hip I do think you need a little more. Like 30

I don't know anyone that would be jealous of a BMW let alone a 15 year old one with a shit engine

I can't think of anybody who would drive a tiguan over a three series

Well yeah, turbo'd and stuff.

OP, it's pretty much up to driver mod at that point. You're likely to take him off the line because turbo, but he has the way better chassis and drivetrain layout for speed. Any moron can drive a Tiguan, they're FWD and have lots of low end torque. If your friend can't carry speed through turns, you'll have a higher exit speed almost every time just from mashing the throttle like a Neanderthal.

If you guys are in Southern California, I'll bring my e46 M3 and embarrass you both.

Didn't realize you said 4motion. Enjoy your understeer.

>m3
Lol Sorry you wasted money on a piece of shit

Say that on the togue not online
and see what happens #memes

Really though, I let someone else eat the depreciation and fear of repairs. With 75k on it, it cost about half what a bottom trim Tiguan does. Probably insulting to the car to compare it to a Tiguan even in that minor regard lol.

this. OP is a whiny bitch. heres the absolute truth OP, youd lose.

Don't listen to the idiots on here OP. They're all BMW fanboys driving 20 or 30 year old cars wasting their time and money on them so you won't get a truthful response.

hello op

tiguans are not fast nor are they made to be fast, they're made to be comfy on the cheap and haul your kids around

Still faster than a 328 cucklord

yes you should be very proud that you can keep up with a nearly ten year old car

Since your driving an automatic he has the advantage

how is that so. automatics nowadays are superior to manual shifting.

In the fastest dual-clutches, yes. In a fucking tiguan, I would not be surprised if his shifting is twice as fast.

He is able to get a better start, just by the fact what you said he is 100% going to beat you

Kill yourself you garbage brainless VW driver

>tiguan weights more
>has more power too
>but looses more of that power because of the automatic
>manual can do a proper launch and faster shifts
but in the end its really whoever fucks up the most
I would say you would win more often because you just need to floor it (dump clutch too if you can)

how much did your e46 m3 cost?

But ypu're higher off the ground and have a vehicle that has more drag due to being larger. The Tiguan also isn't remotely sporty, no matter how poor you say the ride quality is.

You keep mocking me but you fail to bring up ANY valid points.

Whoa buddy calm down

Is this the worst board on Veeky Forums? Everybody seems to be completely retarded and even the elitists are completely clueless

Wow a actually good answer without any butthurt or autism.

OP is a retard, we responded in a way he might understand I.E.

>kill your self retard, you won't win and will make yourself look stupid in front of your friend

I'll report back to you guys in 2-4 hours if anyone's interested.

Tiguans are gay

t. Jetta driver

Oh god I got called off by a Jetta driver.
Well time to kms

13k, flawless service records, stock

My jetta is faster than your tiguan

wow rude im not even op. I do drive a VW polo though. got me there.

he certainly deserved that response but in general most people on this board act like fucking idiots

my jetta is also faster than his tiguan

Are you going on Veeky Forums for intelligent discussion? Remember when that guy came in here looking for help with his NSX ITBs?

Gr8 b8 m8 i r8 8/8

of course not but out of all the retarded shitflinging that goes on here this board is the worst offender

It's the same car except smaller, lower and lighter.

No my car happens to be a lifted golf

Yeah, and a Jetta is a Golf sedan. Always has been, too.

>my tiguan is fast as fuck and all of your cars are gay lol

t. 16 year old op

my tiguan is fast as fuck and all of your cars are gay lol

I remember when I was this new and got this mad because I got called on the stupid shit I said too. I wish I was a 16 year old again.

being 17 got you feeling old huh?

No, but a tiguan definitely would make me feel old, and with a small dick too.

>implying a GLI isn't faster than a Volkswagen Escape

sorry that you own a tiguan/tiny dick

Sorry that you're 16 and still lack the reading comprehension of a first grader.

come on user a tiguan can't be that bad, sorry about the babby benis but still

The tiguan probably isn't that bad if you have a vagina.

What's a real man's car? Because the only people i ever see drive BMWs are middle aged women. So a BMW is definitely a woman's car as well.

subaru hawkeye sti with lots of mods under the hood,
also; op maybe has an advantage with car being a turbo (gti engine can be really well built, friend has an seat leon with 400 bhp with same engine and it's fast as fuck) but the height of a car means huge difference in drag and higher centre of gravity, tl;dr: if it's a drag race you might have a chance on first 150-200 m and after that you will start to lose most likely. There are lots of variables like tires and condition of cars but i still think beemer has a better chance cause i don't know how good the drivers are

Definitely not your shitty tiguan that's gonna lose to an old ass bimmer.

Lol 3k civics stock beat bimmers.

>tfw always hated seat
>friend got a turbo'd seat leon
>got to drive it
>had lots of fun
>clutch, shifting, steering, and the torque were all amazing compared to everything I've driven so far

;_;

maybe if the race is to see who can blow up their engine

BMW engine would go first also.

Remember your words while your friend is passing you with a shit eating smug grin on his face.

then you might like it even more when i tell you the mods on this one, so engine is boosted to 400 whp, has porsche cayenne brakes but he put standard body panels from standard seat leon and put a tdi badge on the back end for the lulz. Everybody is left in shock when he goes like stink past them

All I wanted to know is who could win but instead i got people talking about their insecurities and getting really mad.

Btw I am OP you are talking to some random guy. I have no idea why you are soo angry.

>you'll never be this braindead

Typical tiguan drivers.

Sounds like my kind of trolling. I want to build a stupid Passat sleeper at some point, complete with base model unpainted plastic bumpers, puny (fake) exhaust tip and 1.6 badging.

>you will never be this mad
>you actually will be
Do you actually associate peoples characters with cars? Thats pretty sad, but hey what can you expect from a 16 year old

I want to do this with my Jetta, GTIs and GLIs were too expensive so I settled for the 1.8t

god damn it's slow as hell right now

Which gen? I know the old 20v 1.8T has a ridiculous amount of aftermarket support available and can be boosted to hell and back.

Faster than 99.99% of cars on the road, supercars included.

Your friend will probably win if he can shift worth a damn.

biggest troll in this place is a guy who has a punto 1.9 jtd with 150 nitrous shot. he put unpainted bumpers from 60 hp model, and brakes and running gear from hgt model. when he uses nitrous he pisses on everything. think he changed like 5-6 engines already but they are dirt cheap so no problems there lol. If you're gonna go that way with passat get a w8 or vr6, depending on the model year. also get steelies to hide brakes. i bet it would be fun as fuck

You're still losing to the bimmer, and the only girl that you'll get to drive in your shitty tiguan is your mom.

Damn your mad, but hey venting is good for you.

With how fucking shitty and unreliable bimmers are I wouldn't be surprised if an 80,000 dollar one died before a 3k civic.

Oh I've already got the perfect plan, since the B5 Passat shares its running gear with the B5 A4 and by extension, an S4 drivetrain bolts right in.
That 2.7TT V6 can hit 500hp with relatively little effort, and if fully built 800hp is possible.

Basically imagine a 400-500AWHP Passat wagon wiping the floor with everything short of serious sports cars.

Gen 3 I think, it's a 2014

There's plenty of aftermarket support for it tho and it can easily go past 300hp with nothing but a new hpfp and rods, maybe injectors

The problem is that shits expensive and I'm still under warranty anyways so I can't even get a legit tune until it's up :^(

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>your

Typical underage tiguan driver that's so scared of the race, he's still on Veeky Forums, and probably gave his friend an excuse to why they're not racing.

True, VW stuff usually isn't cheap.

I've heard things about performance "tunes" that basically replace your stock ECU, then if you need to have any warranty work done you just plug your stock ECU back in. Maybe there's something like that available for you as well?

Some low tier bait. Not even Reddit is this retarded.

Actually we are going in 3 hours
At this point I still cant tell if you are this mad or just trolling. For your sake I hope that you are trolling.

You're gonna get smoked, kid

I've never heard of that actually, I've been looking at those burger tuning piggybacks tho

Where can I look at this ecu swap stuff?