/ss13/ - spessmen on space station

She makes the round for me.

Real life
>Body is found
>Police and medics arrive
>Scene is taped off
>Detective investigates
>Body is taken for identification

Veeky Forums
>Body is found and looted for valuables
>dragged to medbay
>dumped in the lobby
>doctor clones them without a word
>patient gets dressed. Leaves and carries on with his day
>Detective sits in her office crying because nobody tells her about crimes to investigate
Based on my detective rounds in several years

same, but isaac on the other hand is a real cunt

Felicity is a pleasant person to be around.

>She makes the round for me.
you talkin 'bout isaac?

>Felicity Rivera pops her lips.

Well in real life situation the police went and sought out the scene themselves, whilst you apparently just sat in your office and waited instead

If you've been doing it that way for several years now, you only have your autism to blame

>looted for valuables
literally happens all the time in real life

I patrol but have littlxe access. If nobody reports a murder in xenobiology I will never find out and investigate

>her
Stop self shilling

>It's another buttbot/speaker spam apocalypse
>Admins do nothing
>It's in space so it'll never be found but it's easily gotten to in order to bypass mute attempts
>Admins do nothing
>I literally can't mute it for myself because I can't chuck equipment in case telcomms goes down
>Admins do nothing
>They weren't even antag
>Admins still do nothing
Really slobbers some knobs.....

Be the Nick handler then. For the most part just sometimes something slips by when you're taking the autism so far

As soon as too many valves go up at once they get the boot. He's nothing. I even get myself and the rest of us backed up so when he y-you got me, "beefcakecreampieinmyanus" and the place explodes it's fucking nothing.

>buttbot speaker spam
>literally lagging the server
>admins do nothing

Nothing pisses me off more. But yeah buttbot spam makes me x out.

If you don't want medbay to do its job of treating people, don't let your victim reach it. :^)

do you ahelp?

Things move too fast on Veeky Forums for detective to really be valuable. Detective needs to be updated to be more in line with how our server works. Instead of having to go back to their office the Detective should have a tablet/scanner hybrid that has all of the information right there. The jaunt back, the scan, and then sifting through the information is too much time on this serb.

>she comes up with a new emote every month or so to stay relevant on the waifu polls
The biggest tryhard waifu, but it works.

fuck off, rin

I ahelp plenty of things just to help the admins out and rarely get responses, it's disheartening. They don't seem to give a flying fuck about any sort of spam though.

>doctor clones them without a word

>Be doctor
>Recieve corpse
>me cries over this loss of life
>Do this for about ten minutes
>Take the body to the chapel for a proper space burial
>Entire crew shows up
>We all me cry
>Shoot the body into space
>Only diona, borers, and cyborgs allowed back into the round

hnnnnNNnnhg

That's the delivery toll. Real people tend to have no cash in their walelt for some reason too
Unless the murder was justified or the murderer was an idiot the body is destroyed or spaced naked. Feel free to autopsy it anytime though.
There's pretty common cases that need a detective scanner every shift. Still finds nothing

You have a camera console and tools you cuck. You can also get better access or the AI/borg

>Be detective
>Find crime scene
>Scan that shit
>Before you get back to your office the perp has committed ten more crimes
>Before you can finish looking up their fingerprints to confirm their identity they're already in gay baby jail

>Harse Theef wakes up
>suddenly Felicity Rivera shitposts

>Being surprised that people who waifu for attention are attention whores

Yup, some valid hunting shitter has already dunked and killed them or they've done a hundred other fucking things and it's pointless. I've been useful as detective only ever really on low pop.

>be detective
>"CHAP DEAD, FOUND IN HYDROPONICS MAINT"
>tell sec to not touch anything in the room, seal it off, and prevent the public from hearing about it
>on my way to the crime scene the HOS says it must be a cult over public comms
>I pass the warden in the corridor dragging the body to medbay

every
fucking
time

Does anyone know Erika Woodworths ckey?

Nothing triggers me more

I made a thing for it

github.com/vgstation-coders/vgstation13/issues/14829

i dunno it's not like it's readily available information to literally anybody what can you do for me huh

Fuck off serwind
github.com/vgstation-coders/vgstation13/issues/14829

...

Mortician alt title for doctor when

If I was to play this game, would I be better playing as a male or a female?

I dunno, are you a complete colossal fuckwad failure waste of space and life? If no play a male.

gender is a feature that does nothing on its own. Your choice

reverse trap

Edgy

Play whatever you prefer.

men have a base 15% push chance over the female 10%

Not a bad idea for a little love to detective. As to what and how, that is a longer conversation.

Do you want inflation art drawn of you?

I'm not a coder but couldn't you just re-purpose some of the scanning computer code if you really wanted to be lazy about it?

ARE YOU SUGGESTING WE COPY AND PASTE CODE???

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU IMPLY SOMETHING SO HEINOUS IN 2017

You could just resprite the scanner and then paste and edit the code from the computer onto it.

pros for female:
>you are more likely to be treated better by lonely neets
>if you do average you will be talked about in the thread about being the best in your department
>you will have more/better looking customization options for your character (ie. dresses and girl hair styles)
Cons for female:
>people who hate fags pretending to be girls/ girls in general will be less likely to help you and will often or not inconvenience you in any way they can
>people will post about you in the thread, which in turn will cause people to assume you are self shilling your character and hate you or just get sick of hearing about you and make you fall into the no-go territory (warning: once you fall into this catagory you have no chance of redemption and people will actively search for any alternate ckeys or characters you play to shitpost about you and grief you ingame ala morena/bill)
>people will assume you are going to be a shitter and treat you with the same respect as an assistant
Pros for male:
>most people will assume you know what youre doing as long as youre not playing a racist characture or neon hair mess characters
>more likely to blend in when antagonist making it easier to antag
>if you do good at a job or an antag role you are more likely to be remembered fondly than someone who plays a female character (most negative shitposts about static name females are sexual or fetishistic and this meets the eye of the common demographic that is straight lonely men)
cons for males:
>less likely to be remembered
>accomplishments will be downsized and nitpicked after you have left the game for some time(ie. "shoe snatching willy wasnt that good of a clown anyways. im a better clown than he is.")
>if you fall into the no-go territory no one will attempt to speak to you or redeem you, unlike some would with female characters (ie. "avada does a very good job and i think youre too hard on her and i definatly say this despite her being the waifu of my dreams!")

This is more about names and behavior than the gender choice itself.

these are things that come with the characters you play
i am only laying them out flatly before someone else gets themselves into a whole heap of trouble

seems very accurate, good post user

choosing female isn't going to instantly make people think shit like that.
The ones who are memorable(in a bad way) tend to have awful behavior coupled with memorable names, leading to them garnering attention.

you're an idiot, they were referring to cloning criminals, it happens all the time

>hey this tator just killed 20 people
>body ends up in medbay lobby
>doctor doesn't question anything and clones them

Sometimes something will happen and your female character will get attention, no matter if you like it or not. In that case, just make a new one. My new female gets zero attention and it's all a happy time, you just gotta keep moving.

Why did the body end up in medbay? Surely whoever deposited knew they were criminals? Should doctors not heal criminals so that they can face justice?

>referring to cloning criminals
No they weren't, they were referring to a victim.

sometimes all it takes is one bad round to have a guy get off the hook mad with you and ruin your reputation with the server for months and possibly even longer
believing that something like this wont happen to you is akin to thinking you will never be in a car crash because you drive responsibly
this will never stop another guy from running a redlight and tboning you

>finally kill wizard
>some fuck clones him

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

random name then change hair and eyes and such

Real life
>99% of police detectives are male and incredibly good at their job as 99% of crimes get solved

Veeky Forums
>99% of detectives are females and incredibly bad at their job as 99% of crimes get ignored and they sit in the bar "roleplaying" instead

>99% of crimes get solved

heh

>emag a borg
>tell it to pull the shard around the station
>walks right into the shard

Post of the year3

Guess I am the 1%

>99%

github.com/vgstation-coders/vgstation13/pull/14817

>Get permabanned
>Start making pull requests hoping you get unbanned

Worked for Dragonbr-

...

Real life
>99 red balloons
>Live a happy and fulfilling career as a music artist

Veeky Forums
>1 red balloon
>killed for being valid

...

10/10 post, lovin' it

daily reminder detective waifus are the cutest and the best! :3

Wrong. Medbay waifus.

You're all faggots, you know this, right?

Literally just go to bay if you want that experience.

Bay doesn't have the people who play on Veeky Forums though

I want to pin the Rin!

Morena is I know you come here and ctrl f your name. You probably were excited to see it pop up but it is not anything

>mrpain's response to him
hahahaha he'll make hippie at this rate

Okay, I audibly chuckled at this one. You got me. (:

LOL

I only ctrl+f my name because you guys badmouth me for stuff that I didn't do and make me out to be a bad guy

>implying you're Llib

Canonically ugly waifus?

Morena
Good. You opened this message. This isn't actually asari military command. They're busy tending to what's left of their planet.

So you survived our fight on Thessia. You're not as weak as I thought. But never forget that your best wasn't good enough to stop me. Now an entire planet is dying because you lacked the strength to win. The legend of Shepard needs to be re-written. I hope I'm there for the last chapter. It ends with your death.

-KL

All of them

what about their charming and lovable personalities?

Felicity "dogfucker" Rivera

>May
>HAPPY CURRENT YEAR +1
get your shit together Veeky Forums

shawn cook jobbanned from all head roles when

>All that fucking greytiding
Kill yourselves

never

I got so close to vore furry but the medical emergency and subsequent shuttlecall interrupted my cosmetic surgeries, thanks Jo