What's the worst you ever fucked up Veeky Forums?

(Continued)

I straightaway pulled her back, had a 5 gallon tank of water in my truck (god knows for what reason it was there but it was a blessing), washed her whole under body area. We help put her dress for her. This guy was still trying to clean away the shit in the car.

And before anyone asks, no she cleaned her butthole. Not me.

We got her in her car and told her to fuck off and I will be on her tail. I told him to calm the fuck down and clean the shit off. I dropped her home 20kms away and on the way back to the place where he is, he called me saying he's leaving the car on the side of the road and will take a UBER back home and will clean the car at a carwash the next morning. "Nigga push it of a cliff!"

This happened like 6 years back and I have no idea where is this girl or he is because we pretty much left all contacts after we left college.

>TL;DR - Friend tried to have anal sex with a paralyzed girl in his car and she shit herself all over. He called me over to help him to clean the shit up. Cleaned the mess up, dropped her back home. Happened 6 years back.

>These both, IDK how, they had sex in his CR-V and they proceeded to do anal. This made the girl shit all over.
>then opened the trunk of his car and there is this girl lying there on her own shit smeared on the carpet and fuck that smelled like, well of course shit.

Top fucking kek, this is so fucked up but so hilarious.

Why was the girl in the back of the car like did your friend keep her there against her will?
I

Also the same guy here.

This may not look like a fuck up but that was the most fucked up situation I've ever been in.

>What's the worst you ever fucked up Veeky Forums?
come to Veeky Forums

>Why was the girl in the back of the car like did your friend keep her there against her will?
Same guy here. No, she was very much interested in him for very long time. So when he called her up that night, she didn't care about anything and just came to the place he called her.

Oh fuck and no, she allowed him to do anal.

That was indeed a fuck up. Worth reading it.

Pic related.

There's this "turnaround" (just a U-turn that takes you from one side of a feeder road to the other) that I like to drive through at high speed and then floor it when going up the merger ramp. Not even a week and a half ago, I went full throttle in 2nd gear like usual up the hill, but this time there was a puddle that I didn't see because it was dark. I hydroplaned the moment I hit it and promptly crashed into the concrete barrier on the right, then rebounded off and hopped the curb on the left. My front bumper, hood, right fender, and front right tire are all fucked beyond repair, and I've got a decent amount of frame damage to deal with.

Lesson learned, never drive recklessly when there's even a remote chance that the roads will be wet.

Why are there eyes on the passenger headrest?

Turned left out of a parking lot in a big SUV with huge blind spots. I went to the far right lane, not realizing another car was there. She avoided me and hopped the curb and almost hit a sign. Me being the teenage idiot, I drove away afraid of getting in trouble.

kek, roastie btfo.

The lolz

Got too much gas in a wet corner and spun the fuck out
My car's nose was 1 inch from a barricade
I drove home

Took a bunch of ambien and decided to go driving, I rear ended some guy in a Tahoe as he sitting at a traffic light. When the cops came he asked me
>Have you been doing any drugs/drinking?
No sir nothing like that
>What happened?
I was playing Pokemon go and wasn't paying attention (no idea why I said this but he fucking bought it)
>ok wait here
Turns out he was illegal and didn't press any charges so I got off Scott free and just payed for his minor bumper damage (my car was totaled)
No dui no nothing, luckiest and worst day of my life all at once

Yeah, same.

Not even reckless driving charge for "using a phone"?

That cop saved your ass bro.

Reminds me of the thread that some user started asking for advice on cleaning blood and shit out of car seats due to nearly the same thing.

Yeah he was a total bro and cut me every break because I was polite and white I guess, I still get panick attacks though since I'm totally ashamed of my recklessness so I guess that's some kind of punishment

>Replacing parking brake shoes on Volvo 240
>Get the old shoes out
>Need to order hardware kit because the old springs were all rusty and fell apart
>Tuck the end of the cable up out of the way
>Drive over the the parts store
>Cable works its way out and get caught in the wheel
>Rips the whole thing out of the car at 110km/h
>Fuck
>Park in gear and put chocks behind the wheels from then on

That happened to me once when I tried pissing while taking a shit and had an erection.

>Be me at 19
>Drove to arcade with 2 grill friend
>Drank the entire time
>Drive home very drunk
>Decide to cruise around and smoke a few bowls before I drop friends off
>Roads are wet because it was drizzling an hour prior
>I am driving like a jackass apparently
>Friend tells me to stop
>I say "STOP WHAT? YOU MEAN THIS!"
>Speed up through turn and immediatly lose control
>Slide front first into telephone at 20mph
>Airbags deployed
>Everyone gets out, all shaken but unscathed
>I go into complete panic mode
>ThisishowIlosemylicense.gif
>Try to call tow truck as fast as possible
>Too late, we see the cops coming about a quarter mile down the road
>Start crying, this is it
>Sober friend pulls me aside and says "user DECIDE RIGHT NOW. DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY I WAS DRIVING?"
>I hug her and say yes
>Cops come, they know I'm drunk
>We stick to the story
>I'm drunk and I keep fucking the story up
>Cops grill me for half an hour more but I won't budge
>They eventually leave
>Mom drives us home
>I avoid jail and keep my license

Two weeks later and I got a check for $7k. But then I got addicted to heroin and spent all of it.

This is how I might end up soon, on friday I was tripping balls driving back home.

I'm trying to remember what turns I made, at what speed, how many cars were on the road at 10:30 PM.

Absolutely no recollection, my car had a few unexplainable dings the next morning.

Put battery in and forgot to strap it down. Battery welded itself to the hood. truck didn't care. I miss my anemic shitbox.

What is it with Veeky Forums and drugs? These things shouldn`t go together at all.

>cause a minor collision
>get a ticket for following too closely
>do traffic school and it gets reduced to a parking ticket
>woman i hit sues me for $100k

pretty much this, I hit the wrong person

also, the accident was december 2, 2015 and is still in negotiations. the woman I hit is "still in treatment"

I drove on the wrong side of the road one night I should have just done a crappy u turn but I just floored it til I could get out of there this was before I knew how to use a defroster

I'd just leave country desu

how hard did you hit the vehicle?

You didn't have insurance?

GLEN LERNER IS THE LAWYER FOR YOU CALL 222-2222.

user, you're a fucking dumbass.

>ms.
tits or gtfo

rear ended her at 10-12 mph, she drove away and needed only a new rear bumper
I have insurance, which is why the immediate demand was my policy limit of $100k

>be riding through roadworks
>they redesigned the on-ramp
>last corner unexpectedly sharp
>concrete barrier blocks right on the outside line
>target fixate on blocks
>hit them at 60-80km/h
>get dragged over them
>out of shame I crashed I ran to bike and try to lift it
>hurts too much
>walk to side of road and completely collapse
>paramedics had to tranquillize me
>broken bone in hand
>bruised both wrists, ring finger a rib, hip and knee
>year later and I still can't use my right ring finger normally

>sober person not driving
you should get your brain checked

dunno what that is, i guess the lawyers are just trying to roast me
actually, its GLEN LERNER IS THE WAY TO GO CALL 877-1500, get it right

find out where this lady is and what injury she's claiming.

Guarantee shes faking it right? take pictures of her doing all sorts of normal shit

>have car with a hand-cranked sunroof
>it only closes properly when you push on a certain part of it as you crank it
>rainy season starting soon, spend a Sunday with my father taking the sunroof off its tracks with plans to re-set the cables so it can close properly
>unfortunately we're both retarded and not actually wrench-inclined at all, it proves too complicated so we decide to give up and take it to a shop on Monday
>screw tracks back on and put sunroof back into place, cables are sticking out but figure it's ok
>going to work Monday morning, hitting 60 off the entrance ramp when I hear a cracking sound and a rush of cold air enter the car
>look in rearview mirror, see the entire sunroof gracefully spinning and flipping in wind
>pull over, decide I'm going to get it
>it fell in between the shoulder and the merging lane
>a big rig runs the thing over, another crunch
>cars are constantly entering freeway
>have to carefully time it so I dart into the merging lane, pull the sunroof away, run back to car and throw it in trunk
>car now has gaping hole on top, spend next month putting the completely warped sunroof on top of said hole whenever I park
>finally, was able to find another sunroof from the forums for my car, had it shipped to me, and got it glued/welded on
>will never get to crank open the sunroof as I drive down the PCH ever again
Yes, I am retarded. Pic related, sunroof taken off

>be me
>have basic work truck (crank windows)
>have window down so i can stick my head out to back up
>reaching end of backing out, start rolling window up.
>panic as glass squeezes throat and cant pull head back in truck
>mfw when i freaked cause i was rolling myself up in the window

>be 15
>last day of driving school
>fuckyes.jpeg
>driving down busy road approaching t intersection
>have right of way
>big ass fucking van in right lane
>decide to pass
>fucking impala runs stop sign
>ohfuck.gif
>instructor reaches over and swerves car left
>almost hit median
>somehow fucking survive
>still get certification for liscence

>go downtown to see a band with my roommate
>have to work in the morning so i drove
>have some drinks while watching the band
>afterwards go next door to get some grub and drive home
>the band we just went to see is sitting in the restaurant alone
>holyshit
>chat it up with them
>roommate goes crazy buying everyone drinks
>ham it up
>i tell roommate we gotta leave, gotta work etc
>wont budge
>tells me he'll take a cab home
>get in truck
>wake up on the side of the road in a neighborhood a few hours later
>pissed myself
>"holy fuck where am i, what happend"
>flag down a brotrucker while still covered in piss
>he jumps me off and i drive home (thanks brotrucker)
>get back to the apartment
>roommate isnt home
>20 missed calls from his parents
>hes in jail

In his drunken stupor he tried to find my car at the end of the night but ended up trying to get into someone elses (wildly different vehicle), not knowing i wasnt there anymore.
I guess the vehicle owners saw him trying to get in.
He got thrown in the drunktank and his charge for attempted break and enter was dropped after the story was explained (minus my bit).
Learned my lesson for sure though, i should have been thrown in jail too.
Ive solved the problem by never leaving my house outside of going to work.

holy fuck that's hilarious

Mixed coolant colours.

Instructor probably saw it as a useful learning experience, aside from shitting their pants., if it was indeed the other car that ran the sign.
I've had two or three close calls with such idiots, you can sense it eventually so long as you actually take the time to stop at intersections and actually watch if the other cars are braking or not, or if some dumbfuck thinks it's the best time in the world to pull out into the main street when you're right about to hit them.

>Tried to drift my car in the snow
>Lost traction (who would have thought) and understeered into a parking car
>paniced and tried to hoon away
>car wont accelerate because the tires just keep slipping on the snow
>somewhat gain traction and accelerate fast
>slide into the next car

This being said I paid for my crimes

>forgot I was riding my GF's 250cc bike
>merged into a 70-mph highway
>poor little bike was completely spun-out in top gear for 3 miles until the next exit

Fucking scary shit, luckily I was behind a granny doing 65 mph most of the time. Fuck riding a sub 400-lb bike on a windy highway though, damn near impossible to hold a line.
At least now I don't need to open up the carbs to clean them. That blasted out any shit that was built up.

probably driven are the alcohol limit but not too much over.
Bout the worst i've done.

should have hit her harder, this works well for the chinks

>one year ago
>driving my mk.I Focus
>driving down a boulevard very late at night (3 AM)
>friend riding shotgun
>he tells me he wants to buy cigs
>ohshit, we just missed a store
>checkthisout.jpg
>do handbrake drofito and manage to pull a cool ass 180º turn
>go to the store, buy cigs
>feeling confident
>try to do another handbrake dorifto when approaching a tight turn
>wheels lock but the tail won't move
>almost end up inside somebody's garage

And that's how I learned how not to tempt the devil.

Hang yourself user, you're a fucking idiot.

Thanks for making me feel smart for once user.

>13 years ago
>Own a 2.3l Mustang
>Slushbox has a leak, have to watch the fluid level or it slips bad in traffic
>At college, it starts acting up bad
>Limp it home, go to my father's garage cabinets
>ATF... ATF... Hmm... Can't find it
>Oh there it is! Label is trashed but oh well
>Pull the trans dipstick
>Dry as a bone
>Get the funnel, pop the cap, dump the bottle in the funnel
>Opening the 2nd bottle, notice it looks darker than it should
>Pour a little out in my hand
>Oh fuck
>It was used gear oil and the label was torn off so nobody would use it

Amazingly the damn thing ran like a champ and the leak stopped

One more at my expense

>Wife had a major shitbox a few years ago
>Always told her to check the oil, it consumed about a quart a week
>She was usually pretty good about it
>One day, ask her how long it had been since she had an oil change
>50,000 miles ago
>She just kept the oil topped off and it didn't give a shit at 210k miles
>She had forgotten to check, ran the oil so low the oil pressure light came on
>Decide to change the filter and oil
>Amazingly it came off, probably weighed 8lbs, no joke, new one spun right on
>Only got a half quart of oil out of it
>Figure the thing is toast anyways, put 2 8cyl cans of RESTORE in it, top the rest with 10w40
>Start the car
>Stumbled, made grinding sounds, idled at 400 for a minute somehow, blew smoke
>Lifters making one fuck of a racket
>Suddenly it makes some awful noises, jerks around in the engine bay, starts to idle perfectly fine
>Wife drove it for another year, redlining the damn thing with every shift
>230k miles, still ran somehow

This is why I hate FWD's no matter how quick they are. You look like a fucking dickhead whenever you try to do something cool or fun with them.

it's not his problem, his insurance will handle it.

Except for tray sliding. Tray sliding is fucking fun.

cleaned my first car with rubbing alcohol and a rough old ass rag

You still addicted bro? If not how did you quit. I'm struggling with opiate abuse myself.

It's been about two decades since it happened. But I still laugh about it.

>be 16
>evangelion Vol 1 is being released on DVD
>take my parents car to pick it up at SunCoast
>driving back home
>keep staring at the dvd case not paying attention
>look up
>oh shit a fucking F150
>slam on brakes
>too late
>rear end the F150
>pull off into a Target parking lot
>F150 has nothing but a scratch
>parents car has front bumper completely smashed in
>apologize to the guy
>he says no need to call cops
>he doesn't even want insurance info
>drive back home
>explain to my dad that I was looking at a DVD case instead of the road
The total cost to fix my parent's car was about $1500. I basically spent my entire summer working to pay for it.

>happened like 6 years ago

>catching an uber

This.

I want to leave but I can't.

>second year of driving
>leaving school during a massive snowstorm
>spot a bunch of cars making for the exit of the lot
>think I'd probably be waiting a longass time to get out if I got stuck behind them
>hit 60MPH in the parking lot in heavy snow in my hand-me-down first gen Volvo S80
>realize at the last second that I misjudged the gap
>nearly shit my pants
>slam on the brakes and steer full left
>end up oversteering somehow
>steer full right
>end up missing the lead car by inches and pulling a hektik 180 degree skid right onto the road
>thankfully there was no traffic coming
>campus police spotted me at the last second and pulled me over
>thought I just lost control of the car because of the snow, checked if I was alright and sent me on my way
pretty sure the whole thing was caught on camera too, nobody ever gave me any trouble about it though
not exactly exciting but I thought it was kinda funny

Why didn't you go hom, put your ice cream and stuff in the freezer, and then go back to the store?

>RUNNING IN THE 90'S

>I tried pissing while taking a shit and had an erection.

I feel like this should somehow be a reaction image to freaky doujins.

Sunroofs are evil. I've never own a car with one again.

>Buy $800 Mercedes 300E POS
>Sunroof rails both break open one day while I open it
>Have to remove half the interior and part of the trunk to get it out
>Parts to fix it are worth more than the car

At least scrapping the Benz helped me buy a Miata.

Roofies?

Last week, turned up a bus only road because I was ridiculously tired and lolsatnav
waiting for the inevitable fine to arrive in the post

>navigating using google maps
>"save 5 min by turning left in 80 yards"
>in rightmost lane
>lol okay
>change lanes into an escalade
>???
>still take the 5 min-saving turn 1 hour later

>driving to final road test appointment
>if i fail it, license is reset back to a G1 (no highway, no driving without a licensed driver in the vehicle etc etc)
>already late
>doing 80 on 60 roads
>bus is stopped on the side pickin up people, starts to signal its coming into my lane
>light at intersection is yellow, cant get stuck behind this asshole bus
>SCREEEEE swerve left SCREEEEEE swerve right, no idea how I managed to overtake the bus without killing myself
>make the drive test
>get my full license

Felt really bad that day, I've never done anything that stupid again.

Also holy shit at all the fags in this thread drinking and driving. Stop it you fucking degenerate trash

>21 year old melbourne wog on a stoned run w/ his friend to hungry jacks at 2am
>love to drive my stock vz commo like a spastic, recently taken a liking to revving 5-7k thru roundabouts
>also want to kill myself kind of since i've been NEETing it for ages, recently diagnosed w/ borderline dissociative identity disorder
>coming up to 2nd roundabout, have been in car for a total of 44 seconds
>"let's see if i can do this one"
>rev up, delusions up, i'm takumi
>come in wide & recognise that i'm going to fuck up
>"shit"
>hit the gutter & bounce off, try to countersteer but the car starts spinning
>rip up handy & floor brake & hold wheel with right arm
>mount the opposite gutter, causing the wheel to spin to the right
>my arm flies off the wheel & my shoulder pops out & i can't move my arm as i'm trying to cut the engine
>hit a tree
>look at the passenger side to see if my friend is OK
>the entire passenger's footwell is pulp but the seat is OK & the window has exploded, but he is nowhere to be seen
>he opens my door as i am subconsciously punching my shoulder which puts my arm back in
>call my old man who also fucked up heaps like this in his youth
>he calls a tow truck, no cops no ambo
>can't sleep that night because i can't lie down
>go to hospo, minor fractures in ribs & shoulders

i was extremely lucky. liscence still intact, back on the road & employed, driving a vx with no intentions of being retarded again.

Uber app was launched in 2012.

Find better shit to do.
I decided to get hooked on bowling and cigarettes.

Reading stories from Australians is great. It's like the orks from 40K.

Smelly, dumb wog scum.

im half aussie half wog

>be 16
>driving with mom a few days before drivers test
>wasn't paying attention and ran up a curb and blew front passenger tire

Learned how to change a flat that day, also got yelled at

Was about to miss a turn, gf at the time screeched and I cut across a lane, car coming up on my side was speeding and in my blind spot at just the right time. I was in a suburban going about 10 mph, and they were in a camry doing about 45. Swung the nose right in behind the front tire, pretty much asploded them. RIP premiums for like 5 yrs.

hella dumped that bitch in college tho

this is exactly why i have a dashcam and put my phone on record when i talk to people some cunt doesnt try and claim quadriplegia from a 5 mph bumper kiss. plus betcha i could countersue for a good bit for pain and suffering and mental anguish of having to deal with it.

Overtorqued all spark plugs in my current car, ripping off either the tread of the plug or the head, I don't know yet, 60k km till next swap and the car is still driving

>go to hospo, minor fractures in ribs & shoulders

And I as a taxpayer have to pay for your dumb decisions and idiocy.

Can't wait until the right wing government here obliterate this system where normal people have to pay to keep mouthbreathing wastes of space like you alive.

happens to me when i try to shit the in morning with a stiffy/semi

>implying it's 2018

Is she a Jew?

>Fuck riding a sub 400-lb bike on a windy highway though, damn near impossible to hold a line.
I DD a 250 and I have no trouble keeping a line on the freeway.

It's /n/ but I feel it influenced me even in my car-driving life.

>be 14
>meet cute 13 girl from the same town online
>chat a lot
>she's immediately falls for me
>thinks I'm really cool, practically worships the ground I walk on
>meet on a couple of dates in town
>enjoy some kissing and touching
>her parents are away one weekend
>she asks me to come over and spend the weekend at her place
>gives me her address
>go there on my bike
>get lost because I've never been in that part of town before
>spend hours trying to find the place before giving up
>she calls me and asks why I didn't come
>I don't want to look like an uncool faggot who gets lost in his own hometown so I tell her I'm dumping her
>don't return any of her desperate calls or e-mails

Now I can't go anywhere (by car or otherwise) without checking out the route on a map first.

>h addict
>pothead
>fucking retard at that
end it ASAP

I made a similar mistake when I was 12.
>home alone one summer and it's lawn mowing day
>go to garage, get the mower out, put gas in and check oil
>needs a top off
>go to my dad's fluid shelf in garage
>see a bottle that looks like oil with tattered label
>start pouring
>immediately stop because the liquid is fucking green
>it was coolant
>called dad and he told me not to run it
>he came home with enough oil for like 3 changes
Basically we changed the oil 3 times just to get all the coolant out. In case anyone was wondering, mixing oil and coolant gives you a milky white liquid.

I overtook the police on a roundabout without realising who they were.