*yawn*

>*yawn*

What does Veeky Forums think of BMW's latest AWD DCT 600bhp 5000lb SUV?

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well, people always asked for an M7
now the M5 is the M7, the M3 is the M5, and the M2 is the M3

>i hope this impresses my co-workers
>i cant wait to tell them i have 600bhp

funny that despite having a heavy auto transmission, the AWD system, all the safety features and tech it only weighs around 50 lbs more than the 1998 E39 M5.

Stop making sense it's uncalled for

It's also 15 times bigger, and 15 times uglier and has a hairdryer for an engine.

Have you stood next to an F10? They are ludicrously wide, Aventador wide, this is even wider. It's ridiculous.

BMW used to make great cars, they've fallen to rock bottom and have saught the Audi market.

most cars have gotten bigger, it's unavoidable because muh safety standards and muh comfyness
but still, despite being much bigger, the new 7 series weighs the same as the m5 20 years ago, fucking kraut magic.

It's about as interesting as any AMG sedan on the market. Meaning not very

Please make the grille a little bigger, i cant tell that its a BMW.

*Saudi market.

140 hours in MS Paint.

Sorry but i still cant quite tell what brand this automobile is made by.

>we can never go back

hold me, Veeky Forums

*falls asleep*

Because the E39 was built like a fucking brick is why.

BMW-fags actually have it pretty good. Imagine being a Mitsubishi-fag or Nissan-scum.

if what is saying is true then i don't want to go back do that empty fat pos. M5s should've been AWD long time ago.

Cadillac was going to make an AWD ATS-V but they didn't because it would've meant a 100k ATS-V.

Can you tell who the manufacturer is yet?

hmmm i can see the beans but I dont see the 4 eyes clearly enough

Not enough kidneys, i need 4 total

...

>BMW used to make great cars, they've fallen to rock bottom and have saught the Audi market.

All cars are subjected to this now:

youtube.com/watch?v=i4m5orYr82Q

Wanna know what happens when you do that in an E34? Your legs gets crushed/amputated. Your neck snaps. You die.

More car around you with crumple zones = safer car, and basically the only way to get a good crash test rating.

It sucks, but it's reality. Bigger cars are safer and nothing will change the basic physics of it. It's like putting more layers of egg carton around an egg.

Also, no vehicle manufacturer in the US market will be able to exclusively sell "driving machines". 3% of cars are sold with manuals. It's expensive to have such a drastic difference between two "trims" on assembly lines. So, it goes away.

The M2 is a close to an old BMW as you're gonna get. No sport sedan will have a manual option from here on out in the US, from any manufacturer. Get used to it.

>with a mustache this big, I fucking DARE jonathan in financing to call my car a fagmobile now

Better?

>if what is saying is true

I'll stop you right there. It's not.

>E28 M5 was 3303 lbs
>E34 M5 was 3858 lbs
>E39 M5 was 4026 lbs
>E60 M5 (absolutely_disgusting.jpg) was 4090 lbs
>F10 M5 was 4288 lbs
>F90 M5 is ~4240 lbs

The F90 is over 200 lbs heavier than the E39.

can you tell what it is yet?

I really doubt the current 5 series is significantly safer than the E39, definitely not the E60.

Not sure, let me think.

give it the massive grille from the maybach vision 6 thing

Sweet shades bro.

...

>I really doubt the current 5 series is significantly safer than the E39, definitely not the E60.

Seriously? You don't think car safety has improved over 15 years?

>what is forward collision assist?
>what is lane guidance assist?
>what is rear cross traffic assist?
>what are curtain airbags?
>what is 15 years worth of crash testing and iterative improvements?

Compare the whiplash/trauma that this dummy suffered:

youtube.com/watch?v=0UUk5bu0E5E

To this (starting around 30 s):

youtube.com/watch?v=i4m5orYr82Q

Cars from just 15 years ago ARE much less safe.

Cars have had curtain airbags for decades, the E39 has them. No one who isn't retarded needs all this computer bullshit telling them not to drive into the oncoming lane or fall asleep or drive into people. Because of crash regs there is no such thing as a light car anymore. Every car is a fucking 4000lbs+ massive boat anchor these days, extra weight is not good for people you hit or whatever other car you hit, that extra force has to go somewhere. Not to mention every car now has pillars that are 15ft wide.

>Cars from just 15 years ago ARE much less safe.
I don't doubt it, but I really don't care. I'm not about to start driving an Austin Metro as my daily driver, but I sure as shit wouldn't get into an E39, X308 or C5 C6 and be like 'ooo it's going to be dangerous in a crash thooo :'''('. No amount of crash test bullshit is going to save you if you have a crash at 45mph+, crash a F10 BMW into a tree at 45mph and you're fucking dead.

Maybe instead of implementing massively OTT crash regs and ruining car design, the roads would be a bit safer if driving tests weren't so retardedly easy and drink drive penalties weren't so stupidly lenient.

>Maybe instead of implementing massively OTT crash regs and ruining car design

Why do you think car design is even on any government's/insurance conglomerate's radar when it comes to these regulations?

They literally not car. Cars are still appliances. Car "design" was, honestly, an odd turn in transportation evolution.

Also, safety isn't the ONLY reason cars are getting bigger. Pic related.

HOW ABOUT NOW

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW ALFAFAGS

>oh god this is my first track day
>I can't wait to go slowly and obnoxiously through the racing lines and ruin everyone else's day

I actually like this better than the real car.

It has the potential to be faster around the burgerking than the gtr and a higher top speed than a hellcat. I'm pretty hyped.

Spotted the 12 year old.

Damn looks like the M8 concept

No but fr I though the new Bimmers were ugly but I've grown to like that and the new 7-series and it needed the AWD to compete with Merc. It's too big, like the last gen, and the gen before it and the gen before it but what are you going to do? It's still super fast in a straight line and a comfortable cruiser.

In months people will come around to its looks.

>faster around the burgerking than the gtr
No.
>higher top speed than a hellcat
Who fucking cares about top speed when you can't even do burnouts

This thread might be why i'm done with Veeky Forums
how can you not lilke this car at least a little bit

Same people hyping up their Cobalt SS shitboxes who can't afford a real car.

It's pigfat. It really looks like one of these fucking "sports SUVS" they make for arabs and manlets.

Poor underaged, eurotrash subjects, internet posers, etc... none of whom can even get the opportunity to test drive an M class nevermind afford the toy model next to the complimentary starbucks machine. it's a shit board filled with immature children.

>uh oh the camera's on
>better check there's no one on my 6

I HAVE AN IDEA THEY SHOULD MAKE IT LIGHT UP SO EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE DRIVING AT NIGHT!

Please dont bully Nissan-fags.
we suffer enough already

Because BMW is meant to make manual, RWD, NA cars that aren't stupidly large, this is none of those things. It's just an extremely ugly 7 series with AWD, a turbo V8 and M5 written on the back.

Back to basics RWD, manual, fun-and-has-some-balls-yet-still-practical sports sedans no longer exists. The closest thing that still exists is a Subaru.

How does it feel to know that the spiritual successor to the 3-series is the WRX?

>3% sold as manuals
It's about 20% but it was like 1% for the M5 and M6.
This is what BMW M president said about manuals in a interview:
BMW M president on manual transmissions:
>"Q: Do you think BMW M will continue to offer cars with manual transmissions? How long term do you think that will remain an option?
A: Well, there are two ways of looking at manual transmissions. One is the engineering standpoint, which says it doesn’t really make sense. Even though it is lighter, it is slower, and the automated gearboxes have a better fuel consumption. So from an engineering standpoint, it does not make real sense. On the other hand, there’s this emotional thing. We still have a relevant amount of people that are wanting to drive a manual, especially on M2, M3, M4, especially in the U.S., but also worldwide. On the M2 we have a worldwide take rate for manual transmissions of about 20 percent, which is a lot. As long as the demand is there, we will stick to the manual gearboxes.
We see strong shifts in the demand for manual gearboxes. In the M3 and M4, it went down from generation to generation to where it is right now, between 15 and 20 percent. It used to be over 50. So it’s going down, but now it’s stable. In the M5 and M6 it went down to almost zero, so we had to take the manual out because there was no demand whatsoever. But the answer is that as long as there’s a strong demand for manual gearboxes, we will try and have them available in our cars."
>captcha: select images with street signs: shows motorway M5

What car is that?

wrx is a awd 4 banger, how is it a successor to the 3 series?
3 series successor is the 2 series.

you can do burnouts in the M5 though.

>On the M2 we have a worldwide take rate for manual transmissions of about 20 percent
Jesus fucking Christ, I can't believe it's that low. Who the hell is buying a slushmatich M2? You're missing the entire point of the car.

I guess the crash ratings are alot different than in Europooria, because here even the tin can A segment cars can get a 5 star rating. The vw up!, toyota aygo, hyundai i10, almost every manufacturer has one model here.

Everyone. Only america has muuh manual shitters

Seriously what the fuck

Looks like every other BMW from the last 15 years

And it works. BMW is BMW. When I buy a BMW car, I expect it looking like a BMW.
BMW's DNA: Rich heritage, yet forward-looking design

200sx I'd assume.

>No one who isn't retarded needs all this computer bullshit telling them not to drive into the oncoming lane or fall asleep or drive into people.

I'm hoping they are just beta testing the software for the flying cars we will soon get.

>Shit car for shit people

>Has the usual amount of understeer and now even more with 5000 lbs of base weight

Tfw the f80 3 series has a longer wheelbase than the e23 7 series

>Driving a superior car

>faster track times than a GTR
>faster 1/4 than hellcat
Hyped af.

A lot of people buy M cars because they are status symbols. The muppet who buys (or more realistically leases) an M2 because it's a top spec BMW to impress the gyaldem doesn't care about performance driving so he doesn't get the manual.

>shit car
Nah it's pretty great actually.
BMWs never understeer they all have 50/50 weight balance.

...

3 creases down the sides
4 creases in the hood
3 creases on the front

WTF bmw?

flame surfacing. same thing that's been going on since the E60

>BMWs never understeer they all have 50/50 weight balance.

This hilarious meme again from a Civic driver

Just buy the M2 fag.

im pretty sure he meant brz

brz is a 318i successor
3 series is not meant to be slow as shit

pretty sure it's a z31 300zx

shouldn't it be a 320i successor at least, it's got a 2 liter that makes more power than any 320i did, and it weighs less than most 3 series have

original 320i were 6cyls
only the new 320i is cucked with 4bangers

true, but they didn't make 200hp right?
not sure which would makes more sense

the difference is that 200hp was a good number like 30 years ago, nowadays anything sub 300hp is considered slow

what good is a 6 cylinder if it doesnt make good power

>german traction control
nope

daily reminder that SRT had to teach Mercedes engineers what a burnout was during an industry showcase event

god its fucking hideous

BMW is not Mercedes though.
You can fully disable T/C on any BMW, no matter if 316i or M3

>A lot of people buy M cars because they are status symbols

This.

I work at an office full of high flying businessmen.

There are M3s and M4s as far as the eye can see.

One CEO in my building is 75 years old and he has an M4 with sporty low profile tyres and an automatic gearbox.

Like why the fuck would a 75 year old man want an M4. Just get a comfy soft 5 series, I imagine you could get a decently specced 5er for the same prices as a balls to the wall fully specced out M4.

>what good is a 6 cylinder if it doesnt make good power

Smooth.

I have a 3 series cos its a comfy cruiser that sits on the motorway all day long and is quiet and refined.

If I wanted
>MUH POWER TO WEIGHT RATIO.
>MUH 0-60 TIMES.
>MUH LOUD EXHAUST.
I'd have bought a Golf GTI or something.

>why the fuck would a 75 year old man want an M4

Couple of possibilities:

1. Never could afford a car like that in earlier life, but always promised himself one when his family grew up.

2. An M4 is his version of a tamed-down car in fitting with his advancing years - maybe he was a lot wilder when he was younger?

>people stop liking sporty looking coupes as they get older

Yeah okay pham.

And like the other user said, an M4 is still fairly cushy compared to several other sport cars he could've gotten.

I dunno maybe I'm just a grumpy old man at heart, but I can't stand this noisy harsh low-profile tyre and stiff "sporty" suspension trend.

When I turn 75 I'm finding the biggest comfiest softest grand tourer I can, especially if I'm on the kinda money that lets me buy a fully specced 6 month old BMW. If gasoline isn't outlawed by then it'll be a V12 or as many cylinders as I can get my hands on, and leather seats. That's all I ask.

Let the kids have their nurburgring streetracers

same thing, really

>When I turn 75 I'm finding the biggest comfiest softest grand tourer I can, especially if I'm on the kinda money that lets me buy a fully specced 6 month old BMW. If gasoline isn't outlawed by then it'll be a V12 or as many cylinders as I can get my hands on, and leather seats. That's all I ask.
got you covered senpai

Maybe I'm a sick fuck but I kind of want to see a convertible version of this.