/eagg/ - East Asian Genocide General - Spaghetti Eastern Edition

I love Lu Lingqi, I wish she was real so I could ask her to be my girlfriend and I could be her boyfriend and we could cuddle on the couch in my apartment every night playing vidya and watching hockey. Then I would ask her to marry me and she'd say yes and we'd get married and have no kids because kids are expensive and live out our lives with me being a successful government worker and her as a police officer. Unfortunately one night as she was having her retirement party the office gets a call about shots fired, I tell her not to go but she insists and heads out with her partner of 20 years to the scene of the crime. She arrives and is immediately fired upon by a group of terrorists and she and her partner fire back. her partner however loses track of her target and gets flanked, but Lingqi sees that and dives in front of her partner of 20 years and dies protecting her. I spend the next week blowing off our life savings on alcohol and depression medication and don't have enough money to pay for the funeral. Instead of a nice grave site I can only afford the maintenance shack at a crappy unmarked graveyard. We lower her into the floorboards and I cry for the next three days. On the fourth day I decide to chug an entire case of painkillers and vodka and die crying about my lost love.

Jesus Christ, Lu Lingqi posting has evolved.

So did Hyrule Warriors. One of Link's movesets is Epona

ya guys like cats?

Do you have a cat named Lu Lingqi?

stop transmortifying these scenarios concerning my wife

I do not... no females in this house... had one but...

I don't want to talk about it...

That isn't Loki

I know it isn't... it... why did I even post that, it just makes me feel very sad just by even glancing at her...

You aren't Loki

...

She...

ad her for a long time, C.O.D. was Cancer. caused by an incompetent veterinarian from back in the Atlantic coastal town I used to live. was supposed to administer a vaccine booster shot a certain way, but put it in the wrong way, causing a cancerous tumor on her neck that kept growing, and even if I commented on it, my parents did nothing... it was only after she barely ate and lost a lot of weight that they went in to get the tumor removed... but it was too late, the cancer spread to her lungs and well...

this picture is the only thing I have left of her...

This isn't Loki

Her name was Nitnay...

She isn't Loki

...

pastebin.com/JqrA8HE9

How would you guys feel if Niu Fen got added to DW9? He sounds pretty based

Xavism

Meo Mengde! Meo Ahman! Cat Ahman! If it weren't for me, Xu You, would you have ever been able to use the litter box of Jizhou?

Ok /eagg/, You did it. You've broken me. I first came here just to troll and shit like that, secure in my shufaggotry, but now I'm turning into a fucking Wei loyalist. I'm in the middle of watching Cao Cao and I just can't refute these fucking points.

Now I don't know what to do, I just feel a soul crushing depression. I'll never be able to speak of my new thoughts anywhere but here, always have to hide my power level. What the fuck am I supposed to do? I won't be able to associate with anyone if I actually tell my friends or clansmen about my new-found values.

/eagg/ what should I do?

>tfw SB5 never
>even if it happened Capcom would find a way to fuck it up

Read the source materials again yourself and don't let people on the internet influence your thinking.

here's a cat.

...

I will never not laugh at this.

Great image OP

...

thank you corrin

Why would your friends care? Are you chinese?

>Deleted cookies and history just recently
>noticed Argroh not getting filtered anymore
Shit I forgot export my settings...

I hope you don't think it's actually him posting instead of anons funposting with it

I'm convinced either way. Namefagging is pointless in these threads.

Zhuge Liang would probably be a namefag, given the chance.

Nah, he would be a samefagging type to guy replying to his own posts. It would be part of his "plan".

what plan?

some kind of absurd plan to eventually assimilate /eagg/ into the AV collective or something like that?

This will be copypasta'd in every thread from now on, I imagine.

oh hey, more cats.

I... I'm related to the Imperial family...

...

Mitsunari isn't there to ruin the BAKAME in this one.

I'm gonna have to call bullshit on this one. I highly doubt Zhang Jiao has the power to turn boxes into waifus.

If you believe in the heavens, anything is possible.

>page 10

>Niu Fen, style Fangpi, was a man from Ezuo county

Damn, sounds like a real badass.

who was he

>"Long-haired cats can cure many illnesses," Niu Fen suggested. Thus, he brought over a dozen long-haired cats and rubbed them on Jiang Qin's face.

Your worst fucking nightmare, kiddo

>He found that Lü Meng, suffering from the same illness at Jiang Qin, was in need of medical attention as well, so he brought the cats to Lü Meng's home and tried to save his life as well, but unfortunately, he was too late

>Niu was able to convince Sun Feng to accept the throne, but on the eve of the ceremony, Feng, who had not seen a sword his entire life, became fascinated with Sun Hao's ceremonial sword. Hao offered his relative the sword to gaze upon, and Feng was so happy to receive the blade that he unsheathed it and started running around the court with it. He tripped, stabbed himself, and died.

me irl

>ywn play as Niu Fen in a Dynasty Warriors game where all his moves are just him tripping over and being clumsy as fuck, causing the deaths of thousands of Chinese peasants
Lame.

>Niu Fen feared for his life and plotted to defect to Shu during the battle of Yiling. He made contact with Liu Bei, stating that he would approach Liu's camp with a torch, and that this was his signal that the Wu army would be too weak to hold off an attack. Liu consented to the plan, and after a few initial victories against the demoralized Wu forces, he stationed himself at his camp and waited for Niu's signal.

>Fen approached the Shu camp when the Wu forces were at their weakest, carrying the lit torch as had been the agreement. Suddenly, he heard Lu Xun (陸遜) and Sun Huan's (孫桓) armies approaching in a desperate attempt to push back Liu's forces, and frightened, he threw his torch at the Shu camp to avoid suspicion. The flames spread, and Liu Bei was soundly defeated. Lu Xun credited Niu Fen with the victory, and he was placed in the position of General of the Left.

This shit is literally a Jackie Chan movie

i like cats.

Gimme a character and era to play in RoTKXIII

Maybe I should make a rollchart or something for it.

Zhou Yu after the battle of Red Cliffs. Conquer Jing if you're so great!

gee koei how come FE gets a nice HUD

youtube.com/watch?v=a8aUSAfx1Dg

You're right, it looks nice.

compare that to Stars's rainbow vomit

I looked up gameplay of that finally and I can't deal with the health bar being in top left

What would it take to make /eagg/ like Shu?

Haven't been here in quite a long time. Can someone explain to me the shack meme?

Total purge of all homos.

Look at the recommended reading in the OP.

How do I join Kongming's dance crew?

TGS is not happening till September. Let that sink in.

Oh shit, I love that guy's work.

>Page 10

that's earlier than I expected

>Check DW9 up date at Gamecity
>Twitter icon of golden boy of each kingdom is up
>Take a good look at it
>Found some truth that make you horrified
>KOEI actually make Guan Yu more handsome than Zhou Yun

I always think Zhou Yun was supposed to be the golden boy of Shu and DW...guess I'm wrong.

Did they literally just reuse his DW5 design

>Yukimura-den pretty much flopped
>No news at all
>No more events that they used to do all the time
>Capcom still a shithouse
It's really over, huh?

not with that shitty hairstyle

>guy

Zhang He is male

Where did you get this?

More like they use his DW5 design as base design...they somehow make him looks way worse than his DW5 version though.

Seriously now, What the hell is wrong with KOEI and Xiahua Dun's hair? Dun with long hair is fucking perfection.

Out of all announced Officer, I have to said that Guan Yu got the best design, Cheng Pu is good, Zhou Yun and Xiahua Dun is just Nahhh.

Dude a rollchart would be fucking amazing, please make one

>Page 10

...

I really don't see the problem with Zhao Yun and Dun's new designs

>Page 10
I guess I could bump the thread with biographical entries of ancient irrelevant old men.

1.
Old Man of Chenliu.
In 167 Zhang Sheng of Chenliu, who had been brevet magistrate in a neighbouring county, was placed under proscription. As he returned home he met a friend and they mourned the sad state of the nation, with so many worthy men being killed or removed from office.
An old man passed by and laughed at them. He remarked that dragons and phoenixes could not hide themselves, and if nets were set high enough they must be trapped. Such honourable officials as they were naturally doomed, and tears were useless. Zhang Sheng and his friend attempted to speak further with him, but he promptly disappeared and was not seen again.

I refuse to believe they'd just drop it like that. They make most of their money off of it via merch sales, thus one game intended to be a side game anyway flopping ought not be enough to can it.

But perhaps merch sales are down too. If so, maybe if they actually made merch of characters besides Masamune, Yukimura, and Mitsunari when the market's already oversaturated with their faces they wouldn't be in such a situation. Did they forget about that weirdo who shouted out for Kasuga at one of the events? You know damn well a decent Kasuga figure along with Magoichi and Maria would sell well to the waifu crowd, especially if they pumped up their "assets". I mean they already do that with the women in literally all of their other franchises.

Or hell actually put out One Coin Grande figs of the SB3 and 4 cast. I don't know. Just something other than yet another Masamune keychain or bauble when every Masamune fangirl has three already and has at least partially moved on to TouRabu.

Inevitable. Soon probably.
More importantly when's tiddy ninja?

Don't die so early because then the "/eagg/ has existed..." post that I always make would look stupid.

>Page 10
2.
Old Man of the Fu River.
The origins of this man were unknown, but in the first half of the first century he was a fisherman on the Fu River, the greater part of which flows through Guanghan. He would beg for food, but on occasion he cured a sick person by acupuncture, using a stone [flint?] needle.
He compiled a treatise on that topic, Ji jing, and a more general work, Zhenmai fa. His disciple Cheng Gao passed on his teachings to Guo Yu.

>Page 10
3.
Old Man on the Southern Bank of the Han River.
In 164 Emperor Huan made a progress to the south, and viewed the Han River near its junction with the Yangzi at present-day Wuhan.
All the local people came to see the imperial procession, except for the Old Man, who remained in his fields.
Zhang Wen, a member of the Imperial Secretariat, was surprised at this and sent someone to ask why he did not go with the others to see the show.
The Old Man smiled but made no reply.
Then Zhang Wen went himself. The Old Man asked whether the emperor was there to serve the empire, or the empire to serve the emperor?
The sage rulers of the past, he observed, had brought blessings to the world but lived plainly and simply. The ruler of the present day, however, forced the people to toil for his own whims.
He felt sorry for Zhang Wen that he was involved in such a regime; but how could he expect anyone to go and look at it? Ashamed, Zhang Wen asked the man's name, but he would not give reply.

masayuki is cute

Hm. Well, part of the problem is the fact that there are literally hundreds of choices. Maybe the roll chart should narrow things down to historical era and force or geographic area, with a bonus for goals. For examples of goals, "Crown Liu Shan as Emperor of China" or "Arrange the death of Cao Pi and marry Zhen Ji" or "Execute every character!" or something.

I'm mentally comparing it to the Total War roll charts, and it seems like a daunting task. But I can poke at it as I have a week between classes to burn.

Is RoTKXIII good and worth playing

It's flawed but fun.
Really shitty without the PUK though.

Not as good as XI but yes

Ambushing page 10