Be me

>be me
>driving home from dispensery
>see cop car in rear view mirror
>dontpanic.jpg
>no headlights on car because im autistic and dont care, only drive in daylight anyways
>trying not to drive sus, I got two joints below me and high as fuck off a dab
>see flashing lights in rear view mirror
>ffs
>pull off the main road so i don't cause a traffic jam for everyone else
>cop gets pissed at me for trying to get away
>says I got pulled over for not signalling, when I clearly fucking signalled
>other buddy cop notices I don't have any headlights... "wtf is this user?"
>tell him my headlights are being rebuilt
>it's already 5, sun is about to set soon
>cop asking me for my registration that I can't find, and insurance which is the incorrect paperwork
>after scrambling for 10 minutes finally find registration
>hereyouareofficer.jpg
>they go back in the cop car
>10 minutes go by
>20 minutes go by
>45 minutes go by
>the sun is about to set, I'm getting pissed cause they're taking forever, seems like they're trying to make me wait until the sun goes down so they can fuck over me more
>finally after 50 minutes the cuck comes out, hands me 2 tickets for wrong insurance paper and no headlights for like $200 total
>drive off with my weed like lol peace faggots
>mfw only time being pulled over

what are your cop stories Veeky Forums?

Degenerate.

...

And that has anything to do with you being a retarded stoner how?

None because cops don't bother here if your equipment is in order and you drive like a normal person. Speeding is what cameras are for.

>do 130 km/h in 90km/h zone (highway)
>biker cop faggot pulls me over
>suspends my license on the spot
>for 2 months
>proceed to drive without license during suspension period
>get license back after 2 months have passed

I learned nothing.

>Be driving through kentucky trying to get to cincinatti to go look at car
>On route 9
>Have a friend with me whos gonna drive my car back if i buy it
>His license is suspended, but i had nobody else to come help me out
>About 20 miles from the state border
>Stuck be hind this rust bucket F150 who cant keep a consistent speed
>Get annoyed and overtake
>Speed limit is 55 for some god awful reason
>Hit about 79 passing him
>See white car on the median
>OHSHIT.jpg
>Get pulled over by highway patrol
>Explain some stuff
>Asks me where im going and all that
>He runs our info
>He questions how were both gonna get back home with his suspended license
>Lie to his fucking face and say im gonna tow it or have it shipped
>He seems to buy it
>He does me a favor since i have a clean record and only does it or 5 over, so no points on license
>End up buying the car and taking the long way home along the southern border of ohio to avoid that shit
>mfw me and my mate were blasting through southeastern OH at 100mph consistently and even had an old rusted imprezza tag along with us for about 50 miles or so

>had an old rusted imprezza tag along with us for about 50 miles or so

Finding speeding buddies is the best.

Cant pull us all over

>late at night
>be driving backroads twisties in my shitbox with gf
>blasting eurobeat
>take corner pretty fast for my car
>phone flies somewhere in the back and disconnects from aux cord
>pull over onto a dirt patch to find it
>see a car with a spotlight come around
>realize I was going 20 over
>cherries and berries
>cop comes up thinking we were fucking in the car on the side of the road
>mfw I'm not getting a speeding ticket
>mfw he didn't even see how I was driving
>cop goes on a power trip
>thinks I took my own gf out here to rape her
>threatens to charge me with a bunch of shit
>mfw our seatbelts were on the whole time while we were stopped
>tells us to "get the fuck out of my town" and pulls off
>continue driving twisties and blasting eurobeat
All because I did the safe thing and pulled over to find my phone

>be me
>driving to uni that's downtown in a major Canadian city
>go from rural to suburbs, speed limit is 50kpm but I'm going 90
>see a crown vic in the distance and think there's no way it's a cop
>he flicks on his lights
>fuck
>I panic so I floor it past a school bus and see him turning around in the rear view
>fly into the left side of a fork in the road that goes into a subdivision
>still panicking
>wait 15 minutes and realize I'm gonna be late for class
>leave my car on a random side street and take the bus
>mfw the feeling of being baby driver wore off and I realized I coulda got an evading charge

>On my way back home in a 1998 mustang gt (first car)
>Jamming out to some normie music
>Not realizing my speed
>Look down
>HOLY TITS IM DOING 110
>Drive at around 100mph for 5 minutes or so
>Hit a traffic jam, slow down
>Look down 65mph
>Look in rear view
>sheriff right on my ass with lights and sirens
>got pulled and waiting for 30min for him to come back with a ticket for 63 in 45
>MFW i could have gotten my license taken away if i didnt slow down in time

>tfw I speed down every road possible, can't remember the last time I went the speed limit, but know every single road where cops are in my town and never got a speeding ticket

Forgot to mention it was in the state my mom lives in, twas driving back home from a birthday party, normally dont speed on roads i dont know but now i dont give a fuck
What do you drive?

>2017
>Using marijuana for anything other than a legit medical issue
>Driving while high
People like you are one of the many reasons liberals are considered subhuman by many. I sincerely hope you crash and burn some day soon.

Ive had the good fortune to not be pulled over for 2 years. I hope insurance will get cheaper

Street racing shitboxes in the snow
>snowed that morning
>bros get the shitboxes out that night for some drifto
>were racing down some backstreets
>Blast by cop at a whopping 50mph
>35 zone
>cars sound like they're faster than they are
>cuts in front of us at nearest intersection
>flags us to gas station
>goes to each car (4 cars) grabs licenses only
>rounds us up and gives speech about being retarded and racing
>says we should be going to jail but lets us go home instead for some reason

Each car had numerous reasons to be impounded and us ticketed heavily, beyond clueless how nobody got anything.
Just my car, had 5 different color panels on it mcdonalds receipts sticker bombing the front fender, straight pipe exhaust,shifter up to my head, back seats and interior panels torn out, zip tie door handles, smashed windshield.
Other cars were in similar condition just beaters
>Northshore Massachusetts by the way

>Get pulled over in the ghetto
>Give my license, registration, etc
>Cop said he pulled me over for tints, no front plate
>Hadn't showered in 2-3 weeks
>Cop says he smells weed
>Wants to search the car
>Says he'll let me off for everything if he can search the car
>I'm an 18 year old kid driving a new BMW with 3 gold & diamond rings on
>He probably thinks I'm a drug dealer
>Save myself the trouble of waiting an hour for the drug dog, let them search me & car
>Everyone is outside their houses watching me
>Second cop pulls up
>They go through my jacket
>Make me take off my shoes, check my socks, etc
>First cop goes through the car while I'm standing with the second cop
>We talk about cars & movies
>Find out he's never watched Scarface
>Pretty chill guy
>Nothing was found, cop kept his word and let me off for the tints & plate
>Told him I would shower when I got home
>I didn't

Pretty good experience overall.

I'm a better driver high then 95% of the cucks on the road. never killed anyone, got in an accident, or have ever even come close.

Driving is also easy and boring as fuck, what not a better way to enjoy a traffic jam other than sparking up a blunt.

jajajajjajaj

are you a gypsy btw?

>Driving in car with my mom and my gf
>Feel a fart coming on
>Let it go silently
>Uh oh. Smell is awful
>Fumble to try to find window switch to let the smell out
>As I'm fumbling for window switch, we start going down a hill and I don't ride brake enough
>End up going like 51 in 35
>Cop pulls out behind me
>"Oh shit"
>Blue and reds
>Pull over immediately and puts hazards on
>Get license and CCW permit our, hands on steering wheel
>Cop asks me if know why he pulled me
>Tell him full truth immediately
>"Yes, I probably didn't ride the brake hard enough on that hill. I had just passed gas and I was trying to find the window switch to let the smell out so these two ladies wouldn't suffocate."
>Mom and gf start dying of laughter
>Cop cracks a smile
>Goes back to run my info
>License clean, CCW clean and valid, computer undoubtedly shows sherrif's office donation that I do when I renew CCW
>Let's me off

Then we went to Home Depot

wash yo ass, faggot

>computer undoubtedly shows donation to sheriffs office
they don't
cops tend to let people go when theyre honest.
t. police

>1st time

Had my license for a whole 2 weeks, was driving to my friends house. Cop pulled me over because he thought my tags were expired. It was blocked by a bit of snow, I just brushed it away and he saw I was good for another 2 months, apologized, and let me go. stayed behind me another 1/4 mile with his lights on though. Pulled over to ask whats up and he just said "oh, I forgot to turn them off". Was probably just fucking with me since I was a kid

>2nd time
Got pulled over for a busted tail light. Knew the cop and he just told me to get it fixed.

>3rd time

This is a long one so I'll greentext

>drove from Ohio to Cali, this past summer
>was in Yosemite with a friend, driving back to the campsite after checking out the stars n shit
>lights come on behind us
>busted license plate light
>also had 2 guns on me, so that turned a 10 minute stop into a 50 minute ordeal
>talked to the other cop about their service guns and squad cars, and generally whatever else while the other officer checked the guns
>told to get it fixed and left
>less than 100 feet from the campsite

>4th time

Actually just happened last Thursday, I was on my way to camp Perry to pick me up a cheap M1 Garand, but I didn't realize you needed a birth certificate to get one if it's your first purchase through the CMP. Speeding home and got caught doing 88 in a 65. This was the only time I ever got a ticket. Needless to say, I didn't get my rifle that day.

what the absolute fuck is going on over there

clearly

>speeding 85 in a 65 on black friday on the interstate at 3 am
>jeep coming up on my ass doing like 105, fucking insane
>blows by me
>my radar detector starts going mad, so I slow down to 65 asap
>car appears behind me, it's a cop. lights start going
>I see maybe 1000 meters up ahead (or more?) another cop had pulled over that jeep
>"sir how fast were you going"
65
>"yeah I got you on the scanner going 105, but I'm not going to give you a reckless driving notation even though I could."
>"I'm going to be even nicer to you and mark it down to 85."
what the fuck dude? why lie about the scanner? I sat there and argued and wanted to see the scanner results but that fucker wouldn't show me because he's a lying cock sucking douche fucker. I have no respect for highway patrolmen. they're all scum. worse than my local small town police force.

>Be me finish up doing my nightly dagumi run on the weekend.
>cop approahing as i leave, he has full-on highbeams
>Blinded .jpg
>Keep in mind we were faceing eachother, so i flashed him.
>Not even 3 seconds go by, party lughts turn on.
>Fk this im outta here, blind sttack technique activate, shitty bmw drls stay on so i can see a little.
>Safely got away.
Seriously though cops are made up of 98% assholes 1% nice.

heading back from steak and shake around 11pm with 4 people in sedan. black wheels and 35% tint, 100% profiled as he saw it and turned around to follow me. went through yellow light, perfectly legal. pulled me over on on ramp.

handed licenses, and my passengers license as well as her police officer card. guy immediately starts to stutter, says yellow means slow down, throws cards back in lap and gets the fuck out of there.

illegal stop, and he knew the cop in my passenger seat next to it knew it too.

>I drive better when I'm impaired
you should kill yourself before.

>I SPEND MY MONEY ON WEED GUYZ AM I COOL YET

LMAO XD

>State trooper tailgating Front facing radar.
>I'm doing 75ish in 55 bc late to practice
>Don't see him until I'm right on the vehicle going the opposite way
>Sooper Trooper whips around middle of the highway and pulls me over
>Pull off like a good boy
>"Why were you doing 80"
>Mfw empty highway
>Mfw 70-75 is natural flow of traffic on this road anyways
>Officer is short shit. t.Manlet
>Makes me late for practice
>Gives me $250 ticket for speeding
>End up petitioning court to get it moved to failure to register. Don't want my insurance sky rocketing
>$500 invested about
>Mfw if I had been in my 350z that explorer would be exploring my dust

>Go to pay ticket
>Sheriff is the only good law enforcement in my town. City cops are corrupt drug agents except one or two.


Nother story
>Buddy drives stick
>Pulls up to stop sign late at night
>Rolls backwards bc hill
>Cop that was hiding whips out and gives him a ticket for not stopping
>How did he not stop when he rolled back. In order to do so he had to stop
>Mrw meeting quota.

>Explain some stuff
>Asks me where im going and all that
>He runs our info
>He questions how were both gonna get back home with his suspended license

you are a bad lyer...why would you even say that to him...you couldn't just say to visit a friend...anywho you got off and flew down the freeway gg

kek

UNO VELA
N
O
V
E
L
A

>Drive volvo wagon
>Literally has never been pulled over

>Little do they know it's an R

>Hadn't showered in 2-3 weeks
wtf
>Told him I would shower when I got home
>I didn't
lol

12 years on the road so far and ~300k miles between 3 cars and no tickets yet. 6 warnings though, each one in a different state.

Volvos are a great way to stay under the radar.

Just about any unmodified car is, unless it's a heap of shit

>no headlights on car because im autistic and dont care, only drive in daylight anyways

You shouldn't be driving you retarded stoner fuck.

One:
>fresh license
>going down hill
>cops on the side of the road signal me to pull over
>misjudge braking time, turn around and go to them
>don't even know what the car's papers look like, just give the whole folder to the cop and ask him to find it
>result: warning (drive slower, son)

Two:
>driving at night on long straight road
>pulled over
>"are you looking for women, son?"
>I'm sorry what
>"being found with a prostitute entails fines blah blah"
>yeah but why are you telling me this
>"You were driving slowly"
>didn't even ask for license

Three:
>driving to gf's place one night
>twisty countryside roads
>thick fog, can barely see the car behind me
>speed anyway because I know this place like my pockets
>other car flashes disco lights
>"what the fuck were you doing speeding like that in this fog?"
>huh I was going to my gfs place sorry officer
>"I should fine you but I see your license is clean so goodbye, next time you won't be so lucky"
>sure thanks officer
>fucking follows me down the road to the girl's house as I carefully drive under 30
>goes away when he sees me get out of the car and ring her bell

>6 warnings though, each one in a different state.
for what & where?

Four:
>hanging out with friends at local public park
>late night, summer
>I'm the last to leave, waiting for some guy to piss in the bushes
>cop car shows up with "complaints about noise"
>cop points fucking bright flashlight at me and tells me I look like a stoner
>I'm baffled since I don't even smoke tobacco, don't know how to reply
>have to get out of the car, bend over the hood of the cop car as one of them searches me, while the other has an AR rifle of some kind and keeps raising it at me and lowering it again
>my pocketsthey turn up nothing and they ask for consent to search the car in the rudest way possible
>I'm getting increasingly nervous but I'm certain of being innocent so I let them do what they want
>half an hour of rummaging through the interior results in absolutely nothing, again
>cops increasingly flustered, try to pry me into telling them where the weed is
>there never was any weed officer can I go now?
>he says yes but he's keeping an eye on me
>even makes that silly "watching you" gesture with two fingers
>after they leave, bushes piss guy comes back laughing his ass off and starts smoking a joint in my car
>rip it out of his mouth and throw it out the car window

Hey Ahmed, how are the 2 wives and 7 kids?

>Hadn't showered in 2-3 weeks
I can't stand being dirty, I have to take a shower every day or two. How do you manage it man.

>muh 'tism
>muh weed
>lol fuck da poleece
>me a good boy I dindu nuffin

>be me
>16
>had just got my licenses
>driving home from school one day
>meet cop coming from other lane
>he pulls into a driveway then pulls out behind me
>turns on his lights
>I pull over
>freaking out because I couldn't figure what I did wrong
>comes comes up to me
>"son how old are You?"
>"16"
>"are you sure?"
>hand him my license
>"oh ok. Have a good day"
mfw I got pulled over because I looked like I wasn't old enough to drive.

>pass by cop
>flash my high beams immediately when out of sight
Gotta stick together the pigs can't catch us all

I got 3 or 4 times, because the police either wanted to make sure that I'm 18 or because they wanted to check if my car is in right state to drive in

> Be me
> On way home from a 2,000 mile road trip
> 2 A.M.
> Get on straight road after I enter the city
> Floor it
> Do 60 through an intersection
> Speed limit is 35
> Notice motorcycle cop hiding in the intersection as I zoom past
> Ohfuck.jpg
> Decide to pull off in some random neighborhood
> Drive around in this dark neighborhood trying to elude this cop
> Am able to get on a main road from the neighborhood
> Look behind... No cop
> Turns out he was faced the opposite way when I went through the intersection so he couldn't see me or clock me.

>aux cord
>no bluetooth master race

You deserved it you pleb

What is a dagumi run?

>be me
>driving shitty seat ibiza
>matches description of car driven by criminal
>get pulled over
>"we're looking for a 5'7 black man"
>i'm 6'6 and whiter than paper
>"ok sir just had to make sure you aren't jamal tyrese jamalson"

didn't exactly have tinted windows, fuck me.

Why are you driving high you degenerate fuckwit

Spoken like a true degenerate.

Wow fuck American cops are fucking retarded. How are they allowed to do that? They should just protect the law and not ticket people based on how they feel.
Cops here are cooler. Yesterday we were chilling with friends and drove to the store and cops pulled up too and one of them bought a /sip/ and they came to talk to us how three of us had kids' fireman hats to see that we weren't drunk because they saw us get out of a car.

I am

>mfw i would have got my ass shot on sight

Are your police really like this? How do Americans tolerate this?

You should have told him you were carrying and reached for it.

>smoking a plant is degenerate

Humans have consumed cannabis for thousands of years. Eat a donkey dick faggot.

What's the other 1% tho

He was probably non white in which case the cop was just protecting his citizens like a good man.

Why did you take the dab user? When I go to the weed store they ask if I want one and I decline and say I'm driving and they usually give me an extra joint to enjoy in the comfort of my own home.

>degenerate humans have consumed cannabis for thousands of years

There’s nothing inherently degenerate about it though.

>live in border area so get pulled often at home
>get pulled over when traveling because my plates aren't local and cops love stopping people from elsewhere

...

>cruising a local highway, doing 55 inna 55 zone
>cop materializes behind me from seemingly nowhere
discolights.exe
>pull over
“Son, do you know why I’m stopping you?”
>did nothing wrong, but stuttered and spill spaghetti while fumbling for insurance and CCW permit
“You and your vehicle match the description of a person of interest in an active investigation”
>mfw I got out and he realized I’m too short
>criminal was 6’3”
>I’m 5’9”
>mfw glad I’m manlet for once

I just take the dab to go on the road, cause it's a long drive in traffic and helps the time go by. i am a veteran cannabis consumer, it really doesn't effect my driving in any way despite what the Mormons are saying who haven't built up a tolerance of smoking it for several years

>be me yesterday
>doing 70 in a 40
>no one is ever on this road so I don't care
>see white ford on opposite side of the road driving towards me come into veiw
>assume it's a cop so I slow down gradually
>pass him doing about 45-50 mph
>watch him in my rear view
>I'm about to lose sight of him when he puts his lights on
>doesn't turn around so I assume he doesn't care about me
>continue to drive at the speed limit
>half a mile later I see a cop parked in the middle of my side of the road
>Not sure if it's a roadblock or something else
>decide to creep around him
>as I pass I see him standing outside of his car
>sees me and shouts HEY!
>I fucked up now.nfs
>Realize first cop must have called this guy and told him to catch the lunatic in the audi tt because there was no safe way for the first guy to do it
>probably thinks I'm a hair dresser.mx5
>pull over
>cop comes up to me and asks if I know why there's a police car in the middle of the road
>say no because I'm still not entirely sure
>palms are sweaty.pasta
>tells me that there was a fire up the road and that I cant go this way
>apologize for going around him and head home
>mfw I technically got away with running through a road block
>on my way home I start wondering if the first guy put his lights on for me or if he was helping roadblock man
>start to wonder if cops can get plate number while moving
>start to wonder if you can be sent tickets
>O fuk you can.Ofuk

Should I expect a couple hundred dollar traffic ticket in the mail soon Veeky Forums or am I just a really autistic faggot?

This. Im a better driver than 99.999999% of the population when I’m drunk, when I’m high, or when I’m sober. I don’t drink and drive anymore though. It’s just not worth the risk.

I've been smoking for years myself and only recently gave up smoking and driving because I realized how it really slows my reaction time and I didn't think it was safe anymore.

>Having so week of a mind you cant sit still in traffic for an hour.

Smoke weed by all means no one cares I dont care, but just like jerking off the second you do it in public you are a fucking degenerate.

>be on way to uni
>driving on i90 doing ~70mph
>everyone suddenly slams on their brakes
>slow down to 55 in every lane
>move left and start passing
>get to front and see why everyone slowed down
>cop car cruising in the middle lane
>no one wants to pass
>wait that's not a government plate
>get back to normal speed and pass
>it's just a college cop (not even for my college)
>he switches to my lane and starts to follow me
>ignore and proceed to speed up
>they get off at the same time extra exit
Guess they were just trying to scare people

I think it comes down to awareness, never have i come across a situation driving where I felt unaware of what was happening around me, stoned or not. I also find that so many other drivers on the road are just incredibly unaware to begin with. Also, have never had a situation arise where I have not been able to react on time, even high as fuck can predict retards on the road braking for no evident reason, also makes me drive cautiously and not drive like a fukwit in a rush weaving through traffic.

although i agree that ones reaction time/awareness could of course be affected by using drugs and driving. I personally feel that cannabis does not affect those 2 aspects for me while I'm driving.

Weed does slow your reaction time but you make up for it by being extra cautious and driving slower.

Bump

>buddy taking me from Alabama to Florida panhandle to pick up a Yamaha R6 I found a good deal on
>state trooper pulls him over for going 68 in a 65 on an empty highway , gives him a warning
>take same route back after I get the bike
>trying to hit top speed
>see what is likely the same trooper in a blur on the side of the road
>look at speedo
>145 mph indicated

nah bro nothing will happen

>First time: speed trap coming home
>Ticket for 10 over
>Second time: same speed trap coming home
>check my license and registration, let me go, no clue what was going on there
>65 in a 55, ticket
>Headlight out 3 separate times, one warning
>80 in a 65, ticket
>"brake light out" on 4th of July, probably checking for alcohol
>70 in a 65, ticket
>Sister knows the god damn highway patrol by name for how many times shes been pulled over, has gotten one ticket
Fuck Oklahoma

Buy a sportbike

>be me
>be in auto class at community college
>drive a classic car
>at end of the class I pull out of parking lot not too fast
>get pulled over
>let off with warning for doing nothing
>classmates see
>become popular for the rest of the semester

>had 5 different color panels

is this a reason to impound your car

I moved to Georgia
Then i bought a sportbike.

Going fast on a motorcycle on Oklahoma roads would get your ass killed, if the shit drivers and tractors dont get you, the shit roads will

Calhoun reporting.

Ass

p-please respond

LOL

Yes

same, im only ever going the speedlimit when theres speedcameras with average speed measurement.
i drive 2 hours a day and have had my licence for 12 years. no tickets.
Unmarked cars are the biggest issue, only indicator in my country is they always have tinted windows and theyre usually black bmw/mercedes, and REAL BMW/Merc never drive the speed limit :P

Why?

lmao you pussy. I'm not that guy btw.

When i'm at sea i am constantly sweating despite it being anywhere between 30-45F (cant sea bathe because hypothermia), no showers at all. Last time i was at work i took 4 showers in 3 months, 2 of those showers were in the first 2 weeks.

Here's what's even grosser; after my season finished i was cleaning the boat, the last person to ship out, and another sailor came over to share a beer with me. She similarly hadn't showered in over a month, and we were both permacaked in jellyfish, guts, and skin pack.

Best make out session i've ever had, cuddled all night till i flew out of Alaska at 6 am. Still find myself missing Tennessee.

>tfw jewish
>refused to have sex because it's against the law
I'm glad in hindsight, her pussy would have been putrid.

>Jews are smelly and gross

Wow news at 11

tfw never flashed to warn about cops
but I try to mark them on Waze as much as I can

Nice.
Tangential question, do you happen to remember where you got that image? I've only seen it used by a specific group of Eve players around 2014.
>a variant

Found it in /dbt/