ITT: post your car and describe your cars personality as if he/she was a person

>I know I'm not as pretty as your last car but try my best
>y-you don't have to clean the rust off my skidplates and fix my exhaust, I d-don't mind really!
>-s-sorry I try to gas you when you start me in the garage
>don't forget to premix me user
>you can drive me as hard as you want user i can take it
>i think were going to be together for a long time user

do u need a psychiatrist op

jesus fucking christ OP, get some help

owo what's this

>did this thread in the format of a thread I saw a long time ago
>ppl liked it
>I post it
>get called a faggot
>tfw I don't fit in on Veeky Forums even

>I make my owner angry sometimes
>I leak oil
>I help my owner get from A to B most of the time
>Other times I bleed money from my owner's pockets

You're absurdly weeby.

>Veeky Forums and /jp/ combined

>complains about animemes on a Japanese image board
I know some faggot who cut the exhaust off his v6 mustang and wanted to race me in my na miata
>tfw I won

It was me, and my car was slow because your fat mother was riding shotgun

There's a difference between some j culture effecting your personality, and then being autisticly deep into it.

Also this is not a Japanese image board.
It says, and has always said
>There are boards dedicated to a variety of topics, from Japanese animation and culture to videogames, music, and photography.
Not
>There are boards dedicated to a variety of topics, from Japanese animation and culture to japanese videogames, japanese music, and japanese photography.

This is an American image board, created by an American, for Americans, in America, speaking American.

>you don’t drive me enough.
>why are you looking at those Corvette sluts?
>no, you can’t supercharge me.
>I guess I’ll shift now...
>I don’t feel like letting you put my top up today!
>lol interior rattles at 70k miles
>dude stop looking at LS swap kits, my engine is perfect!

...

>I'm sorry nobody understands you
>Sorry I look like your grandma's car
>You really didn't have to put a tune on me, I'm fine!
>You always drive me too fast!
>I'm reliable, I promise!
>Sorry for being so quiet all the time ;(

There's an old boomer who DD's one of those at c&c and he said he chop tuned it to like 230hp on the 2 liter
Is that possible?

>thank you letting me warm up before going fast
>I WASN`T MADE FOR 110 MPH+
>DON`T RACE THAT 924 AGAIN
>refueling again? I´m not epmty yet...
>that wire brush on my subframe tickles
>ARE YOU LOOKING AT THAT MX-5 AGAIN???
>IS THAT A RX-7 YOU ARE LOOKING AT???
>Why do you start masturbating at 100 mph?

>y...you don't need cruise control. You wouldn't be able to feel me the same way anyway
>take me to those empty highways up north again, its been so long and I can't be satisfied with 85 in the "fast" lane
>hey wouldn't it be funny if we blinded that guy with my spotlight? Just this once
>why do the other cars keep slowing down when they see me? There's nothing wrong with me, is there?
>if you try to install a CB radio I'll lock you in my trunk... It brings back bad memories...
>I don't need a paint job, or a tune-up anything. I'm fine

You sound like an absolute madman
Nice

i think this is a cute thread user

65 year old Yakuza

...

>get inside of me right now
>I don't give a shit if you have a headache, take me open throttle You little bitch!
>take the next corner faster, I can take it
>that mustang just revved at you, show it what a real muscle car sounds like!
>when are you going to buy me that supercharger you promised me? My parents think you're pathetic! You won't even go all the way!

Having a Tsundere Carfu is wonderful.

>don't you touch my dongle
>DON'T FUCKING TOUCH MY DONGLE
>I swear to god if you or anyone else I know touches me somewhere I don't like, I will SHRIEK at such a pitch you will feel your eardrums vibrating against your skull
>if you're nice I'll let you pop open my sring-loaded cupholder....

>so you want that window how far open?
>I can do it half way down.. no?
>OK you want it up?
>Well no I'm not putting it ALL the way up that's silly
>I'll just leave a crack open
>youre going 70 on the motorway in november what do you mean you dont want it all the way down?

>user why do you drive like a retard
>user why do you ignore me
>user why do you abuse me
>user plz help i need a medic
>user.........
>..............

>I think it is time to shift user
>Everyone thinks my little sister is hotter but you picked me
>I like it rough user, throw me into the corners
>I'm sorry about torque steering and wheel hop

>I wish you wouldn't push me so hard, seeing how I'm not a turbo and all
>please shift when I tell you to
>don't fall for the Miata revving at you, you know we can't win
>you didn't strip a gear today. congratulations
>you really have nothing better to do today, do you
>at least you chose me and not Eighty Three-senpai

Rx7-chan likes it rough too it's ok
>tfw literally have to shift past 4000rpms and redline regularly to keep the engine healthy

My Challenger takes advantage of me. She knows I just want to cruise, but every time I downshift in traffic the crackle of her exhaust is like she's mocking me for going slow.

After a good day of driving her hard or taking her to car meets, she settles down and starts to act more civil. It's like she's spent from all the attention I gave her and she just wants to cuddle and make the time with me pass slower.

That said, she REALLY doesn't like it when I work on her. She doesn't want me under her hood unless I'm cleaning her. When I was doing the bushings on the front sway bar a month ago, she did everything in her power to make it harder on me.

I don't even feel like doing my bushings the guy who sold me rx7-chan gave me a bunch of suspension bushings but I tried doing some of the rear ones and wanted to kill myself the whole time
My car spits fire better than your car I bet heheh.

>Buy me new parts!
>Buy me fuel!
>Check the low beams just in case!
>What, you aren't buying me stuff and trying to save money?
>You don't want to treat me like the proper lady I am? Fine, how about the rear shocks spring a leak?
>What, you're thinking about buying a daily driver?
>YOU ACTUALLY GOING TO BUY A COROLLA
>FINE, BLOWN TRANSMISSION FOR YOU
>Now you're stuck with me forever and ever

Mine is a V12 though, so 12 times the problems.

>wow user you picked me over that i30 which is just me but better in every way? you must really like me!
>ive only been with one other person user, but i wont tell you about him
>user, im tired, i think im gonna call out of work today
>user my rear end cant handle being thrown around like this (cuz beam axle)
>a-user not so hard! you have to shift gently!
>lets go fast user! fast fast fast!
>user i know i have to get you to work but im so sleepy, im gonna just take a nap on the side of the road
>oh im sorry im backfiring and popping so much user, i just cant help it

this is me more than i like to admit

Well, mine doesn't have mufflers or a cat and dumps straight out beneath the seats, so I don't know about bigger flames.

But, yeah, bushings suck. Huge pain in the ass on any sports cars because of the rigidity of the components. Gets worse as you add bigger better aftermarket parts, too.

>tfw I proudly drive my '83 pic related
>twf everything you said is scarily accurate

Also
>You hear this you poor plebeians?
>This is the roar of your V12 goddes, do not anger me
>Move aside sub 3 litre commoners, I am coming through
>100km/h? On a 100km/h zone? Do note that speed limits are approximate, give or take 100km/h
>You will be my slave forever, till death do us part

That is a advert is fuggen nice

>tfw my dorito would blow the doors off 944's in factory New condition
>still does but even worse because 944's are all heaps at this point
Suck it krauts

>I'm your first car, we've been through so much together!
>I'm kind of broken on the inside; my lights don't work, the "check x" lights are faulty, and I won't let you in from the driver door anymore....
>My other problems are kind of expensive to fix, but it's worth it, r-right?
>Vrmm vrmmmm!
>Isn't it so fun to drive fast and hear me roar?
>I just need some premium gas first...
>...
>Wh-Why are you on craigslist, user?

feels really bad to move on from your first car ;(

>>Wh-Why are you on craigslist, user?


hit me in the feels

yes, bc the stock output is 200

I like men an Miatas, too btw.
Sometimes both at the same time.

why the fuck do you have a Prowler

Lol shit. Guess I have to change it

On a turbo maybe lol the n/a is like 146
This nigger faggot isn't me

Forgot pic

I didn't come here to feel this goddamn hard,

>Hyundai Genesis Coupe
Dude just cause you're in the drivers seat it doesn't mean I have to take your shit. I'll fucking kill you when you least expect it you human trash. You're gonna need to turn off my traction control of you really wanna go fast around curves.

I like it OP, similar threads are done on /k/ about guns, machines are better friends than people anyways

>machines are better friends than people anyways
lolfag

w-what I-I have friends, you're the one who made this autistic thread anyways, I-I didn't like it it was a joke, haha, b-baka OP

He's not wrong, it's a fact.
My car has left me stranded once. My friends have left me stranded more than once. My car is therefore several times more reliable than my friends.

>lets have some drinks and party bro
>why not fuck women and get money at once
>I swear I'm not slow and inexpensive I'm just rad as fuck

BETRAYED! BY MY OWN CLONE
he copied my trip code (nigger faggot)
cars are friends not appliances

ah ok, I was thinking it might be the clone, kinda odd for you to make this thread and then call me a faggot for liking it

I would never hurt you user-kun

c-chan, and thanks

>chan

I'd be happy to chat or something if you wanted, I-I um, I do have a dick though, just to get that out of the way

Kik: rhyswolfgang

Mine isn't really a heap, it just isn't quick. I had an FC for a while and while it was much quicker than my 944, it wasn't as fun of a daily because muh dorito reliability.
>Inb4 I don't know how to take care of it because I cared for that thing better than any dorito has been taken care of.
My 944 is still a blast to drive and I daily hundreds of miles a day no problem. I'll just never win any races.

I am missing that addictive dorito 9k redline. I'm hoping to pick up another one soon.

>jiggle the throttle or i won't start
>i'm not doing anything till i warm up
>that car revved at us, push the go pedal and shut them down
>why are you doing the speed limit, go faster
>rev me, rev me REV ME

Patrician taste nig
I'm sure, I'm not saying the 13b is a 2is by any means but they're not as bad as ppl think. 944's are pretty I'd just have to have a turbo s4, id buy a 928 tho

>Do you see that badge? that means im the strongest of all my lineage!
>what do you mean cheap dd, im a sportscar!
>user that faggot just revved at you kick it!
>W...what do you mean my family is dead? theres so many of my sisters on the road...
>thanks for keeping me clean and running
>sorry you had to give up your first car... but ill take care of you dont worry!
>hey look unlike your last car i have traction control!
>sorry about spinning you out on that muddy road

Shes an overconfident baka but i she tries and i love her

That's also very true. It had problems, don't get me wrong, but it wasn't too bad. They're certainly much more of a weekend car than a DD, which is what I used mine for.

And yeah, the turbo's are really nice. Id totally have one if I had the money. And you don't want a 928. I had a buddy who owned one and while it was fun, and pretty quick, they're hard and expensive as fuck to fix.

That is seriously one of the best car related pictures I have ever seen.

10/10 would frame on wall.

Like user before, my 944 is in pretty good shape. 944s are just not fast cars and that's universally agreed.
I just love the aesthetic.

Proof I'm not the nigger faggot who stole my trip code

this is fucking gay

>you saved my life how can i ever repay you!
>you want 20 mpg? No problem
>you want to gun it past any shitbox on the road? Ill do it.
>I'm sorry about that squeak ill try and stop it.
>please don't send me to the junkyard. I know I've been in an accident but im still useful!
>ill do anything any time
>i can tow that boat!
>i can haul all that crap
>did i make you happy please say yes!

>old
>second weakest engine
>four door
>autotragic

>(((((implying you can’t take me around a hairpin at 65))))))
Come on user, quit being a chickenbitch, we can still have fun together.

And the best part is, even though you’re a retard with electronics you can still work on me!

Also.
>warm up
PUSSY.
Just slam that pedal and AW FUCK, I stalled again.
A slight bit slower this time, but not too slow.
That shit would be boring.

I may be a six cylinder but I can still roar like a motherfucker.
Music?
HAH, you can just listen to my growling.

Motherfucker, look at those pansies passing you.
I bet they’re not even naturally aspirated!

Can we go driving again?
You can afford it; I can fill up for less than a 20!

It's mine too. I wish so badly I could take credit for it, but it isn't mine. My car looked exactly the same though. That pic is from another user, I beleive.

Same here. I have a weakness for 80s hatches, hence my owning an FC before. I love my 944, like you said, it just isn't quick.

is this the new no life trip who will spam threads over and over until the community rejects him and he either becomes a degenerate shit poster or leaves forever? You own a Miata that gets bad gas mileage. Please stop spamming it

>*burns atf at warm idle*
>Hey user, i could really use some strut rod bushings
>SMOKE THIS FAGGOT IN HIS ECONOBOX
>I'm not that thirsty, user
>Don't call me fat, i'm T H I C C
>Did you feel that bump? I sure didn't
>TORK
>LETS DO A SKID CUNT
>[AUTISTIC REVVING]
>I'm bred for cruising, not high speed cornering you cheeky fuck
>I like my new shoes though

>....user? I know my past owner can't drive anymore, but you will take me on drives, right user?
>user...my..crankshaft seal is leaking...I'm sorry..
>I might not be like my bustier 2 liter sister, but we can still have fun user!

Protecc
I really want my old town car back so I can put Toyo r888's on it and go autocrossing. That thing would roll so bad lmao

Fag

kek iktf. too autistic to fit in with normies, too normie to fit in with Veeky Forums. the life of a cyborg is a lonely one.
>t-thanks for the bouncy new struts user :3

>I sound like a tractor because I get good fuel economy, baka!
>why did you straight pipe me, I just shit black coal everywhere
>why are you on craiglist?
>I know you prefer those jdm girls but I'll always be there for you

>hate watching football
>hate watching anime

I know this all too well

I never actually did mine.

>Y-you know I'm slow, but that's ok. I try to look good for you
>I don't need power steering. Without it, curves more fun. Just don't try to park in tight spots with me.
>M-my radio goes to static when the fog lights are on because I love you and I want you to pay attention to the road at night, not the music
>You're much less abusive than my last owner
>A-an engine rebuild? You're too good to me
>This is the 4th time this week you're vacuuming me. Isn't that that a bit much?

>Don't worry, I'll never fail to start thanks to a solid iron block
>Come on, change my carbs for bigger ones!
>Don't mind the backfiring, it just scares those weak modern junkers away
>I'm only a 2WD but I still got a good LSD so it's f-fine right?
>You won't find another like me, no fair giving up on me
>It's all factory paint, admit you wanna keep it on since I wear it well!
>Blow that diesel cloud-spewing idiot away at the light, just shift at the right times and I'll do the rest

I've had a weakness for flip lights since I was a kid growing up around them. Now any car I own must have flip lights

I always picture the '83 as a nice, older sister and the 85.5/86 as the younger sister with superiority complexes. Giving my cars personalities helps me drive faster.

I used to have a banged up 1998 328i

>get in the car, loser
>you think I need a few minutes to warm up? Just drive, idiot
>are you REALLY gonna let that dumb Acura rev his engine at you?
>don't bother with the convertible top, it doesn't go down
>maybe if you'd patch up the top, you wouldn't have to put a wash bin in my seat when it rains now would you?
>so what if I have faults? I'll still get you where you need to go, so shut up
>just go buy another car if you're so fed up you idiot
>wait, are you seriously looking for a new car?

What car?

what a dick, fuck u, dick.

Nigga, this is the internet, we're all weird as fuck.

>Hey user *cough* gonna tune my carbs today?
>Neat i love car shows i get a lot of attention from people half your age
>user my coilovers blew we can get NEw ones r-right?
>I'm making a lot of odd noises down the road it embarrasses me
>oh your buying a daily, nice i love friends
>IM THE WEEKEND CAR!?!
>user?
>user?
>*Cough*
>It hurts when i go over stuff >.i guess i can just sit in this garage an wait until next spring
>*cough*
>sure is dark in here
>all alone
>...

>i-it's getting cold user
>user my joints are all worn out, replace my suspension and bushings!
>i'm sliding all over the place!
>no don't let off the throttle, I like oversteering >:D

>t-thanks for saving me from being sent to the scrap heap

Sad day for the doctor...

>Alright kid get in
>Thats a clutch, you know how to use it? Eh close enough i got the rest.
>Dont bother with the CB kid, your dads dad put it in and i dont think it works anymore.
>Eh? Switch? Under the console? No idea.
>Alaska to Colorado huh. You sure youll be alright with just me along for the ride?
>Ok keep me in 4wd through the turn, right at the end of it though switch to rear wheel and gun it on a down shift. Have some fun kid.
>My radio dosent work like it used to.
>Slow down there, I never was the strongest and i sure as hell cant hit 100 now that im getting old
>Dumb kid, its alright the insurance will take care of it, looks a lot worse than it is.

>user, i'm not warm yet, need more foreplay
>okay you can hoon me now a little, but remember i have no torque down there
>3.5k here i go GRRRRRRRR ahh shift now pls
>user you're heeltoes are terrible, don't you remember about my throttle lag? have you been cheating on me with that fiesta again?
>watch the speedbump ~uguu
>oh you came already? let's go for a longer trip sometime user, promise?

>h-hey user, want to go for a drive today?
>we can go downtown if you want, I’ll try not to overheat
>it’s a little hot today. No, no, I’m fine... just let me catch my breathe
>y-you want to go faster? Ok, I’ll try
>I like my paint the way it is, please don’t change it
>don’t pay attention to them, user. N-not everyone can be a manual.
>you still like me, right?
>just let me warm up a bit. A-ah, but not too warm...
>d-don’t push me hard, I’m older than this street
>can w-we listen to Elvis again user?

>um when are you going to put a license plate on me and bring my title to the DMV?
>I'm not just some beater you're going to abuse until you get a real car right?
>I hope you don't mind if my muffler is missing
>im always wet for you user
>because my roof is rusted through internally and it rains all the time
>what do you mean I'm your first manual?
>wait what are you-
>AAAAGGGHHHHH
and that is the story of how I mis-shifted into reverse at 40mph and will never stop feeling like a fool.

>mis-shifted into reverse at 40mph
I actually recoiled in real life reading that

>I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO DRIFT
>MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND
>knock knock, motherfucker
>you remember changing your oil a month ago? Lol i dont. Time for a change. Not like youre doing anything anyways.
>yes i have a bench seat. No, you cant have a grill sit there because the middle seat is about as wide as a toothpick.
>oh, youre trying to take a nap? Well fuck you. Im going to jab you with the seat belt buckle
>no, stop trying to fix me. LET ME DIE

Me too. When I was a kid, I would always get super excited when I saw pop up headlights. I went through am edgy phase as an early teen where I thought they looked stupid, then I went right back to loving them. Out of the 5 cars I've owned, only one didn't have flip ups and it was my weekend shitbox Volvo 240.

I like looking at it that way. The '83 is so much fucking easier to work on and she gives you a good time without much hassle. The later gens are the god-awful worst to work on, parts are more expensive, and you really have to rag on them to have fun. I love muh factory de-powerd rack.

My feels.