/ss13g/ - Spacemes in a Spacestation

>taking leddit's advice on anything "redpilled"
lmao

you can bash /pol/ all you want but the thread provided me with tons of games that I would've never of found without it

well hey that's fair man
i'm just saying, /pol/'s bluepilled as fuck now and is reddit's main FOB here

saw a tread on leddit long time ago about games similar to TTT, thankfully i learned to play and roleplay before i could even validhunt

I saw it on Dean Halls twitter in 2012 or 2013
Saw it more on the Veeky Forums catalog and followed it a bit in 2015
Finally took the dive in 2016
Huge mistake

what the fuck is wrong with you?

It's many things, but bluepilled is not one of them

hey, i aint gonna argue about it, but i think thats wrong as fuck nowadays
blind loyalty towards a single neocon does not a redpill make

/agdg/ poster who was interested in games with deep mechanics. I haven't made shit except a handful of bug reports on ss13 since.

>Frank White as Head of Security
>Francine White as Warden
>Franklin White as Security Officer
>Fran White as Detective

Name a better family than the white family security squad for hire.

I wouldn't call it bluepilled, but the whole trump aspect has ruined the board

what's the problem?

What's better, a detective that patrols or one that sits in the bar until (s)he is called out?

one that is glued to his camera monitor and only leaves to scan shit

>blind loyalty
nah
that lasted like 2 weeks after inauguration
it only still exists on /ptg/ which is universally regarded on the board as reddit incarnate

>his
please keep it gender inclusive for all our female characters out there!

2hotdogs told me about it in a chatroom.
He said to say his name to unlock my magical powers in this thread.

>female detective

dumb sexist pig

you wouldn't dare say that to a good detective like mallory brooks or one of the many other good female detectives

Eli and Ellie Wood robust medbay power hour.

academic.oup.com/cercor/article/25/9/2383/380449

>implying

I don't remember where I first heard about it
All I know is that I have a bunch of neat stories about my life from before I dropped out of high school that I can tell people, but I don't have anything from after that because all those cool stories come from this game

>in youth

>tfw the HoS compliments you on being the best officer at the end of the shift

yeah you're right, I'm sure women just sprout an extra million neurons on their 19th birthday

>tfw the HoS lets you out of the brig because he caught you trespassing about to commit crimes with traitor items out in the first ten minutes of the round and he feels bad for you
>

SPESS CYOA:
You're a security officer, and there is a cult about. There's no HoS or warden, and the detective is dead already. You suspect the cult base is on the roid, and science is a cult. There is a captain but no HoP, and captain is a comdom who's trying to take on the entire cult. A doctor is screaming on comms for sec to get to medbay to stop some assistant from being a faggot, and lastly, the chaplain is in the bar, drinking.
What do you do?

Go drink with the chaplain and ask her about his god

brig the assistant because there's fuck all I can do

I knew it existed back at 2013, but this video conviced me to try it.

[embed]youtube.com/watch?v=nLAHBexJxrE[embed]

God fucking dammit, i'm used to the embed system of 8ch

Get the AI to let me into the armory. Give all Assistants, the Clown and Mime, and Medbay guns and spacesuits from EVA. Raid the cult base as a conformed mass unit because there's no chance in hell me and the Captain will get anywhere on our own.

get the chaplain, gear him up, and head to cargo with some holy water

Join captain
youtube.com/watch?v=a6BbvCC0VI0

just post the link without tags you moron

You go to the bar, there's a poutine ocean being built by the chef and the bartender. You see the chaplain, and ask for a drink. You tell the chaplain about the cult, and if their god can help stop it. They agree to help you. Where to next?
You go to medbay, and see some assistant trying to disarm spam the doctor, you go in and cuff the assistant, and they scream out for help and how you're killing them. You take them to brig and search them, they don't have any contraband on them, only thing is a pill bottle of hyperzine. How long do you brig him for?
The AI refuses to let you into the armory, the reason is that they say that guns kill people, and killing is bad.

Heard about it from Veeky Forums, was fascinated by the idea of being able to do "anything"

About ten rounds in I was playing scientist and I heard a lot of accusations of sec corruption being thrown around on the radio, so I used the xenoarch space suit and autolathe tools to rob the armory from space.

Didn't get bwoinked. Can you believe it? If I did, I probably would've been banned because c'mon that's like the shittiest reason to rob the armory ever. I wouldn't even blame them from the better perspective I have now.

That was years ago, and since then I've even made a few (small) contributions to our codebase, so it's really lucky that I wasn't caught!

Ahelp that the AI is crying about potential harm.

I searched for "space" on the catalog and got interested by the then abundant greentext. Some months later I made the same mistake and then decided to try it anyways.
The thread was actually useful back then. Saying "the thread is shit" is not an excuse to make it even worse.

take his pills, give him a warning and tell him to fuck off

...

You take the hyperzine, and tell the greytider to stop fuckign with medbay and to fuck off. They scream at you and yell shitcurity, and then scutter off into maint to ahelp you for being "shitcurity." You gain 10 hyperzine pills.
The AI over the security radio that the doctor in medbay has been taken by some scientist, and they're headed to the science outpost. What do you do next?

You ahelp the admins, but don't get a response for a while. The armory opens, only to find a couple laser guns and one EVA suit left. What do you do next?

man no one wants your make your own adventure shit do it somewhere else

Take the chap to cargo, force feed holy water and order implants, Huns, and goats

wrong

Why is it blurry as shit?

Plumphelmetpunk

You bring the chaplain to cargo, and the AI opens the doors. You order the AI to send the shuttle after you order weapon crates and loyalty implants, and goats. The chaplain starts blessing water tanks. Suddenly, 2 miners and a scientist show up and start firing at you with kinematic accelerators.
BATTLE THEME: youtube.com/watch?v=Up88zQxhKVc&t=611s
Your moves:
>Baton
>Taser
>Knife
>Disarm
>Punch
Chaplain's moves:
>Nullrod
>Disarm
>Punch

chill in the brig

You chill in the brig.
NARSIE HAS RISEN
Game over!

never forget hulk-man and owl-boy

>teleport myself into the bird roid
>get succ'd immediately
>bird calls me shit
>AI calls me shit
>tfw

Do everything as a team. It's the only way to not be meme'd. Rambo is a work of fiction.

and I wouldn't give a flying fuck, cult rounds without a functioning security is just pure cancer

>Mallory Brooks
>a good detective
Literally security officer in a coat. Even Bateman is a better detective desu.

Just carry a polysmokenade on a timer with you

DETECTIVE CYOA:
You're detective Patrick Bateman and there are nuke ops destroying the station. There are many cute girls in medbay, a complete bitch of an officer in security and the HoP is a pink haired valid hunting autist.
What do you do?

Go ERP with the Bartender. Bartender cuties are the best cuties. Medbay sluts are all trash tier WFU stock.

Waaa?

>Try to play trader again
>First round partner is traitor, don't want to do some antag lite shittery so just set up perma so they can escape if brigged
>Try to set up a trading outpost for emagged commievend stuff but station is nuked

>Second round
>Partner is a fucking vampire
>Try to sell victim's gear
>Nobody wants gear, CE trades me pizza for emitter
>Don't want to go back to outpost to figure out some more goods to sell because lingering vampire
>Shot to death by mech, revived, and spend the rest of the round reviving corpses I find around medbay and running away from vampire partner when they showed up

So what? The only way he can stop it is through decapitating and destroying the heads of 3/4 of the station while it's bathed in hellfire. And all for what? The custists want to do their shit. Nonantags want to selfantag by hanging out near frequent cult spots. It's just not worth it. Let them narnar and get the round over asap

There's a ton of ways that goes wrong and you're gonna eat a week ban for stupidity when it hits someone. It's the same reason you can't keep a deadman switch in your hand or in your bag without getting a heavy don't be a fucking retard, retard ban

Declare red alert and evacuate everyone to the asteroid, kissing your one true waifu before the station explodes with you alone on it.
t. Shiggypiggy

Are any of the nuke ops cute?

You go to the bartender and are angry to find it is a man behind the bar, the only other man on the station. He goes to pour you a drink and asks what you'll be having. Your keen eyes notices him lick his lips and look at your groin.
You try to call red alert but nobody listens to you, you're fucking patrick bateman the useless detective. You heard over comms that the nuke is armed and in the library, you have 1 shot in the revolver at your hip.
You surrender yourself to the nuke ops in hope of it being a group of cute girls. Major success, they take you on their ship to their snowy base and you are tied up in a chair as they have naked pillow fights to celebrate their successful mission.

Do not worry partner the mores of the vox metaclub forbid me from assassinating a trader partner. I was actually telling the sec channel that it was me who was bad and not you a bunch so that you wouldn't get fucked around with.

How do your prove the wizards' magic?

I motioned for killing and spacing him because of all the stuff. It's a shame nobody was listening or you would have been directly responsible for the end of his round.

You shoot him with two shotgun lethals. If he blink/jaunts, he's a wizard. If he doesn't, he was a wizard who wasn't paying attention and should be cremated to display the Flesh to Ghost magic.

Run to the library, revolver in hand. Think of cute girls as I do.

Cut off one foot so that he can't wear sandals, put on a straight jacket so that he can't escape, put on a tinfoil hat so he can't mindswap.

Space him off an airlock with a broom. If he dies it will be a noble sacrifice for the sake of the station and will always be remembered, if he flies it's a witch.

You're going to die, but you manage to take out one op, grab his gun and heavily wound another. As you shield yourself from the shots behind a wooden table your last thought is of your one true waifu, who was she?

The barman.

>Librarian dying
He has a mortar, metal, an o2 medkit, and food. He's fine.

Why does Violet Hill wear gas mask all the time?
I remember this static from like one year ago and they were doing the same

One operative is slowly approaching your table with his pulse rifle held up. You have no escape, to run is suicide and to stay is suicide. Just as he is about to lift the rifle over the table and shoot you dead as you cower afraid a bottle smacks the side of his helmet and he's knocked to the floor. From the chapel side door the Barman is there, his shotgun in hands and pointed at the two remaining opratives. "Oi lad, get that bomb disarmed, I'll handle these ones. The code is my speciality drink, the Baham-" his voice cuts out with a cough as he takes a shot to his side. He falls against the table with one arm on his wound and the other on his gun. Firing wildly into the library for supressing fire he coughs up some blood and shouts "GO LAD". You rush to the nuke and take cover behind it, they can't shoot through this thankfully. You have 15 seconds, enough time for three codes to be tried.

What do you input into the machine?
Only one attempt per post

Plasma blinding ptsd

BOOMBOX

From my brother

First person I talked to in game was an admin accusing me of metagay and I almost got banned because I had no idea what was wrong

Bahama Mama

The code is a 4 digit numerical, I'm going to let you try again

Pomf is a gay injun

2211
(2 parts Rum, 2 parts Orange Juice, 1 part Lime Juice, 1 part Ice)

Rail

Y-You actually did it. Your hands tremble as you input the code 2-2-1-1 and hit enter, it worked and you disable the nuke and pull out the authentication disk. You look over at the bartender and he's barely holding on, one operative remains and has him pinned down. You have no bullets and no guns within arm's reach. A crackle from the operative's helmet radio occurs and you hear a familiar voice, the voice of mallory brooks, your ex-waifu. She is demanding you reactivate the nuke, she promises you another chance if you do, a happy loving relationship.

What do you do?

Fukken reactivate dat nuke

what does a riot shield actually do?

re activate the nuke

Eat the nuke disk and chew it apart.
In my final moments, crawl over to the barman, my true love, and die in his arms.

It kinda protects the user from brute damage, but only from where the spessman is looking