>get in any new Ford
>DOODLYDOO DOODLYDOO
>push button to accessory power
>DOODLYDOO DOODLYDOO
>start car
>DOODLYDOO DOODLYDOO
>DOODLYDOO [ENGINE ON]
>put car in reverse in a clear area
>a fucking pebble in my vicinity
>DING DING DING DING DING DING VEHICLE ON THE LEFT
holy FUCK why
They cost too much, other than that new cars are great.
>car won't start
oh you have to push this button
>still won't start
oh it has to be in park
>still won't start
oh did you push the brake? you have to push the brake
>handbrake has been replaced by a tiny little button marked "P" on the center console
How am I supposed to rip hektik skids with this?
>beltline is so high I have to lift my arm near my earlevel to put my arm out, and I'm 6'2
>bright a as led screen with greasy fingerprints all over it and not a single actual button
>all interior lights are so bright I get a headache when I get out, them being blue doesn't help
>37475inch wheels to match the shoulder height belt line
>ugly
>electric power steering
>lame departure detection
>meme features like fucking night vision in Mercedes (seriously wtf),
>everything is a shitty ass cvt or a hybrid of a autotragic that couldn't think it's way out of its own pants
>BRIGHT FUCKING LED HEADLIGHTS HOLY SHUT THIS MAKES ME MAD
>angery econoboxes
>aero bits on a 128hp cvt Corolla """" s" """
FUCK modern cars the only ones I've liked are fords and Mazdas.
>these requirements confuse the average amerifat
I can't afford them with Tendies money
You mean, because people from your country are too stupid to use a key?
Really makes you thing
what do you expect, people today want their hands held.
they can't start a car without a button, they can't start it in drive because they haven't checked their phone yet, and they can't start it w/o the brake, because they might crash
They're also designed to make a bunch of money off of dealership repairs. Changing out a headlight in a 1972 was 1 minute unscrewing a bulb job. Changing a headlight on a new F150 is like a 5 hour job.
Yeah and in 1972 you could have a whole 1 headlight style (in the US). I will gladly take 5 hours over ugly cars.
youtube.com
Is this what you're talking about? Jesus, that's fucking awful. What was wrong with the old ding?
youtube.com
The dinger in my Mercury sounds similar to that but not quite, it's nice if loud and annoying until you put your damn belt on.
Things I don’t like about modern cars:
>despite massively large windshields, forward visibility is not good
>side and rear visibility is barely there at best, nonexistent at worst
>mirrors have gigantamungus blind spots
>new autos have so many gears that the car never stops shifting under acceleration, yet take eons to downshift when needed
>overly boosted steering with no feel at all
>overly boosted brakes that make every stop feel like panic braking
>unresponsive electronic throttles
>tiny 3-spoke pistol-grip steering wheels on everything
>interior ergos (seat height and armrest and cupholder placement) are uncomfortable
>all seats try to be uncomfortable racing buckets (no mo’ bench seats)
>even “””””””premium””””””” audio systems have no bass and sound super thin
>required safety features mean less interior room at a given vehicle size
>everything is heavy
>xboxhuge infotainment screens that are too bright at night
>heaters don’t seem to work as well as in some older cars (probably due to everything having 1.4l engines now)
>no more analogue gauges
>exterior design is utter shit, every car is fat and ugly now
>user maintainance is no longer easy (or even possible in some cases)
>high centers of gravity mean handling is utter shite
>color options are limited and mostly ugly
>giant wheels and low-profile tires are ugly and aren’t good for ride quality
>everything is expensive
>manuals are getting more rare
>cvts a shit
>marketing has gone to absolute shit
>modern Ford interiors are still cheap shitty shit and rattle
On the upside:
>heated steering wheels are nice to have and are becoming common
>ditto for heated/ventilated seats
>phone connectivity is pretty much standard now
>NHV has improved vastly in most cars
>most cars now have lots of handy storage cubbies for phones, sunglasses, etc.
>most cars have USB and wall-style power points, handy for charging shit
>factory roof racks are more common
>>unresponsive electronic throttles
FUCK this.
Fuck off the new Ford chime is so pleasing. I googled it just to listen to it in my spare time
I have never having driven one and not being able to afford them
Oh boy where to start?
>climate controls are either a clusterfuck of a dozen buttons or frustrating touchscreens
Gimme three dials and ac and recirculate so I can access them without taking my eyes off the road.
>console mounted automatic gear selectors
Put that shit on the column where it belongs and out of the way.
>high beltlines/diving body panels
Can't see the road and can't see where my car is at spacially. Give me some reference points when parking or tight maneuvers.
>fat a, b and c pillars
Can't see dick, and no I don't want to rely on blindspot indicators.
>hugeass dashboards reach way the fuck out there
Pain in the ass to clean, pain in the ass to mount gps to windshield, reduces visibility.
Don't get me started on styling.
>e46, from a brand known for having difficult repairs
>1 tab and 3-5 screws depending on model
>taking the lens off is just undoing clips around it
>uses a sensible gasket method
>any modern car
>headlight takes a car-specific tool, 3 men, a supervisor, and a power drill to remove
>half the car is taken apart in the process
>lens literally glued to the headlight for no reason
>have to stick the entire headlight in an oven to remove
>have to re-glue after
Really gets the noggin' joggin'
that first link started giving me anxiety by the end
you have to remember the reason for hundreds of "idiot lights" and idiot chimes is the current market.
>16-30 year old millennials know nothing but iPads and video games
>cannot possibly figure out anything analog
>anything simplistic is dumb, must be as complicated as possible
>have to put all this shit in to please them
>50-99 boomers
>retarded old fucks with dementia and Alzheimer's disease
>can't figure anything out without spoon feeding
>need loud sirens and bright lights because blind/deaf
Haha my family almost all drives fords I feel your pain
The Corolla "S" shit is sad, I mean for fuck sake my base model golf has 170 HP and even more torque and it doesn't pretend it's a GTI
Explorers with 4-banger eco-boost engine. Scream all the way to the red line and never move. Want to echo as well the annoyance of beeps and lights that new vehicles now do since visibility is shit and people can't bother to pay attention. Only good thing on new cars is auto lights on, since there are retards that can't figure out to turn their lights on and not drive with just the parking lights.
Also, fuck all digital dashboards.
Rentals are great since it continues to convince me that my 99 Exploder Limited is better.
i was watching a couple trying to setup a picnic and everytime they returned to their car to grab something they had to wait ~20 seconds for the rear hatch to open and stop chiming, apparently there is no provision to open the door manually, you have to wait for it to fully complete its cycle. Also tripping the proximity sensors too early halts the process. Ludicrously slow
The new cars that shut off integrated DRLs while using turn signals really gets to me, I understand why they do it but it just looks like their shit is broken
brand new car winking at you with a lazy eye
Chevy Malibus require you to remove the entire front fascia/bumper
There is no way around it.
It's not that difficult, but it's frustrating the first time.
Our manager tried every other way to get in there for over an hour before he just said fuck it and let us take the bumper off.
Changing the headlights on my 13' F150 takes no time at all, what the fuck are you doing?
Lights that are like laser beams cutting into my retina.
You forgot
>dont put seatbelt on for 5 seconds
>DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING
Why the fuck do cars have windows
Don't buy a camaro
Everything you mentioned as an upside could be done as a fairly easy aftermarket mod for less than 250$ and an afternoon (except for the seats).
>open hood
>its just this large hunk of plastic with a hole and a cap that says OIL
>electronic throttle
>electronic brake
>electronic steering
>every single hvac control is electronic, even the simplest of devices a fucking fan switch
>steering wheel has 50 buttons on it
>keyless entry shit
>dual mass clutch shit (this is aimed at retards who refuse to learn clutch control)
>window controls where the switch shits itself before the motor
>stupid ass plastic engine covers that exist solely to avoid scaring normies when they pop the hood
>LED headlights in general
>DRLs in general
>every new car has tons of ground clearance so obese retards can get in easily
>new seats are made from what feels like woven plastic
>pop hood
>all i see is a hunk of metal with wires everywhere
everything
>e46, from a brand known for having difficult repairs
But that's wrong, repairs on the e46 are actually pretty simple and straightforward.
Post e46 BMW's start getting overly complicated
>car with non-adaptive LED lights coming the other way
>can't see anymore
>blind spot detectors
>giant fucking screens in the middle of the dash
>automatic gearboxes that make you select the gear by turning a dial or pressing a button instead of using a shifter
>engines that are impossible to work on
>HID lights
that being said, modern cars do have some nice features
>reversing camera
really good for backing up straight and seeing how much further back you can go
>adaptive cruise control
being stuck behind some fucker that can't maintain a constant speed is a pain in the ass
>engines that can adjust their timing and shit for different octane fuels
okay, not that new, but still a good feature
whats the point of having a hood user
>all my fluid reservoirs should just be on the outside like the fuel door
>hood welded shut
one of these days I'm gonna end up roadrage killing one of these faggots
K E Y L E S S
E
Y
L
E
S
S
This
My brother got a 2017 accord the other day and that car is pretty neat. Thinking of getting a sport one myself
Name a disadvantage to keyless that a key doesn't also have.
It's like the drowning music in the old Sonic games.
your car is a disgrace but does remind me that the crown vic is the last car that's just a car
rip in peas
>stupid ass plastic engine covers that exist solely to avoid scaring normies when they pop the hood
Some cars it serves a purpose, I guess, or at least used to. On Panther bodies it helps stop condensation from dripping from the underside of the hood onto the engine, namely the coil packs which are notorious for letting shit into the spark plug cylinders (normally coolant when the intake explodes).
Manually unlocking my doors (real shit no key fob) and putting the key in the ignition and turning it gives me a boner.
Keys don't have to be reprogrammed. They can be replaced cheaply instead of forcing you to take an ass pounding from a stealership.
...
The ugly ass looks of all of the new cars. God I fucking hate jellybeans and their angry variants.
>battery runs out
Oh shit what now
every stupid ass car that isn't cool and isn't fast has to have aggressive ass angry headlights to try to make it look cool because the rest of the styling is so awful
Steering wheels that look like a fat and black diaper.
Huge fuccboi rims and wheels.
slam your fist on it with the power of odin himself.
>implying round sealed beams are ugly.
All in the name of """safety"""
Dont vape on me you homo.
You just use the fucking key retard... Do you actually think that keyless entry means that there is no manual lock on the car incase the battery dies? Same goes for push button start, there's still a way to start the car with your key.
>31-49: faggots who think they know everything but are actually retarded
That shit is the worst. If you drop someone off you get to listen to a minute of DING DING DING DING DING DING
>Car names
What happened to regular names?
HRV, CHR, CHR, Q50, MKZ, MKX, SS, ES, IS, GS, LS, TL, ILX
>Push button start
Why. Is a regular key + immobilizer not enough? Is it really that big of a hassle to use?
>grills and badge
Why do cars have huge grills and badges? The F150 grill is ridiculous. And compare the lincoln Town Car vs the MKZ. Giant grill
>Rear visibility
You cant see anything anymore. I blame the rear rooflines. They slope downward giving you less visibility from the top and the passengers in the back get less headroom too
>Push pedal to the floor
>count one Mississippi two Mississippi three
Car finally starts accelerating
Bigest pet peve of modern cars atm
You gotta mash the brake and accelerator at the same time to build revs, then let go of the brake pedal.
As one of those youngfags I dont understand my peers. Analog stuff is cool as shit. I literally stare at gifs of engine function for hours because it's so complicated and all pulled off without computers
>Push pedal to the floor
>count one Mississippi two Mississippi three
Holy shit this. Is this an autotragic-only thing?
I almost caused an accident by pulling out 2 seconds later because of this when I was being designated driver in a friend's car
>nightvision
wat? I'm interested
A lot of Veeky Forums says this, but I hated the melted bars of soap that dominated the late 90's- 2010. Hated.
Literally anything that isn't those fugly pieces of shit is an improvement in my book, even that abortion of an SUV that Veeky Forums predicted.
Security
>express.co.uk
Keyless entry is the answer to a question that nobody asked. Same goes for loads of shit on new cars - electronic handbrakes, massive screens, huge pillars creating blind spots etc.
The shitty electronic automagic shifters. Chrysler's specifically.
>all these touchscreens and doorknob auto
80s and 90s digital dashboards were cool, new ones are awful though.
>electronic parking brakes
>bush button start
>fuckhuge infotainment systems
>literally every car has a 2 liter tarbo 4 banger option
>fake exhaust tips holy shit it's not cute or witty please fuck off car manufacturers, like fuck if you're paying 6 figures for an AMG why are your exhaust ports poorly fitted plastic holes in the bumper
>electronic throttle/brakes
>cvt "transmissions"
>rain detecting auto wipers
>bright led headlights
>soulless crossover abortions
>dial or button gear selectors
My 911 Turbo S is just like that. REEEEEE I wanted to see the engine God fuck.
>rain detecting auto wipers.
That's actually a good thing
>Your car connected to your house connected to your phone connected to your music connected to your video games connected to your TV connected to your toaster connected to your bed connected to your dick connected to your Facebook™ to your car
What happened to simplicity
Nissans still dont do this
>you want crash?
Thank you based nissan
>What happened to simplicity
it got phased out, along with testicles
>clutch and brakes doesn't have a linear response, goes from not engaged to engaged within 0.5°
>engines keep getting smaller, cars keep getting fatter
>optional are too expensive for what they really serve
>clutch and brakes doesn't have a linear response, goes from not engaged to engaged within 0.5°
Boolean yo
throttle next, either WOT or idle
Infotainment systems.
>>dial or button gear selectors
For the love of god make it stop.
Isn't that how to use a throttle? Guess I've been driving wrong, then.
>Buy the """"sports"""" variant
>FWD
>automatic only
>big ugly tablet in the dash
>car is first created
>next gen is much bigger
>next gen goes up a class
>tfw if I want the latest version of my car it would be a full size huge sedan whereas mine is tiny
>reducing NHV costs $250 and takes an afternoon
Okay sure, sign me the fuck up.
>new diesel trucks nationwide have all kinds of restrictions like DEF and EGR shit
>its ILLEGAL to remove or modify emission systems on diesels
>"CERTIFIED CALIFORNIA CLEAN IDLE"
>dont even live in cali
thanks california
I agree hundo P
Agreed
Yes, yes, yes...that is the problem
>itt post things you HATE about new vehicles
That they're all ugly.
The only good looking new cars are lexus and lambo
Yes, yes, yes...that is the problem
This....=bad
Who decided this and got all automakers to go along?
I live in Canada so battery changes are necessary atleast every 3-5 years sometimes sooner if you kill the battery a few times. They put them in impossible to reach places now , literally having to remove the front bumper or the fusebox and a whole bunch of other shit, it is fucking ridiculous to have to take your vehicle to the shop to get a battery changed
Same, everyone around my age needs everything to be digital for them to understand it
>Be me
>Dropping off a friend at class
>Open trunk so he can get his stuff out of it
>Expect him close it
>He inspects the trunk throughly, looking confused asf
>"Is something wrong?"
>"Sooo is this thing gonna close itself or something?"
>"No you have to close it"
>"Ohh ok"
>Somehow he had forgotten how to close a trunk
And then there was this one time a girl wanted to drive my car but couldn't stay in her lane because her car had some lane departure shit that always kept her from drifting over. And thats after I spent hours trying to get her to drive manual without tearing my clutch to shreds
Yeah, I have and automatic and manual version of the same car, at first I thought it was turbo lag in the automatic but the problem is non-existent in the manual.
Hopefully when them and those Florida faggots sink into the ocean they'll take their bullshit emission laws with them.
>keyless entry shit
what kind of faggot are you? my old shitbox didn't have keyless entry and I hated that
I'm a Florida alligator fight me bitch
Had to take the floor panel of mine out. Then I had to do the battery swap with my torso under the glove box and my legs sticking out into the garage. About halfway through I realized it was the wrong size and didn't fit at all.