ITT: your mortal enemies

ITT: your mortal enemies

Only if you're incapable of parking

holy shit fag learn to drive

...

My enemies are cagers. I usually keep brake fluid inside of a water bottle on my bike to throw on cars who try to get in my lane.

step your freshness up m8

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Here in Straya our kerbs are twice as high, sometimes even three times as high. Even thicc rubber is not enough sometimes.
I just let my first set of wheels get scratched the fuck up until I’m used to the car then swap in wheels I would prefer. Usually smaller and lighter

*blocks your lane

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Early 2000s panther?

leak leak leak leak leak leak

Then stay out of my blindspot faggot

you got it, although the 2003+s still have problems leaking everywhere else that isn't the front crossover anyway

*explodes*
*sprays coolant all over everything from the alternator bracket mounts and strands u*
pshhh nothing personnel

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Note: Every liquid thrown is brake fluid
Good to know. Now every liquid thrown at any car will be handled with excessive violence.
Consider yourself a road bump from now on.

the only route to work i have available that cuts out tourists & dumb locals crossing everywhere but the crosswalk adds 30 minutes to my commute so i gotta put up with this shit most days

/thread

potholes nigggaaaaa

Eff Juan fiddy?
We've had 3 of em come in because the manifold cracked in the last 4 weeks

Lame.
Heaps of vehicles come with plastic intake manifolds now. No others seem to have any problems. Including my old German Fiesta

>Straight pipes

miamifag spotted

Why the fuck are we still using 1970s speed limits? This is unbearably slow for a modern day car.

i don't live there, just googled "fat pedestrians" and it was the first picture lol

BECAUSE YOU INSIST ON DRIVING SHITBOX NA/B/C/D MIATAS THAT WEIGHT ALL OF TWO TEENAGE GIRLS THAT ARE ASSURED DEATH IN ANY CRASH ABOVE 35 MILES PER HOUR

do winter tires help agaisnt ice? what the fuck do you even do? Keep a perfect straight angle and let inertia do the rest for straight roads?

I've never actually encountered ice before because usually the roads get salted before snow even hits the ground. I've encountered slushy roads but not the early-morning aftermath of freezing rain

>what the fuck do you even do?
Slide and hope your death is quick and painless

If you know it's below freezing, and you know there's been any kind of precipitation or humidity recently, then assume black ice and take your fucking time.

Don't be that fag that thinks doing the speed limit is safe during wet/icy conditions. Driver slower so that you have more time to react to loss of traction.

ya, thanks for not letting me stop very well for the next 50 km....faggot

good thing that bikes are required to have plates here and I have a dash camera. I'm gonna get me a new paint job out of the deal and fags like you will lose your license

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN SEE ANYTHING WHEN IT'S DARK AND RAINY AND THE LIGHT REFLECTS OFF OF ALL THE PUDDLES ON THE GROUND HOLY FUCK

sorry, I think that was me

>Having a dashcam
>Not just nudging the cunt

Winter tires make a massive difference. Night and day, really.

Oh hello, fren, you seem to have trouble with your vision, here, let me blast some more lumens in your retinas.

Oh wow they're so blue! You must have a 2019 Lexus because there's no way an old shitbox would have such cool nightvision lights.

>the light reflects off of all the puddles

that's how you see them.

>bmw drivers worst nightmare

Pedestrians.
The road is for cars. The road is not for people on foot.
Major roads are even more not for pedestrians.

I wish it were legal to mow down pedestrians, and viable to do so without fucking my car up.
One day, I will buy a tank and refuse to give way as I trundle along at 25MPH taking up both lanes and creating a smokescreen as I go just from exhaust smoke.
And that's without flipping the button that creates a screen of thick black oily smoke.

>be yankee
>move to tejas cause oil money
>everyone drives trucks
>one morning it actually snows and actually sticks
>drive to work in my unkillable f-body
>witness two spinouts, 3 in the ditch stranded cars, and two rear end collisions
>mfw going straight down the feeder roads doin 60 sideways.

Winter is here inbreds.

>The road is not for people on foot
I have to constantly travel a road that the city put a path alongside, but there are several dumbfucks who insist on running in the road anyway.
If they're coming towards me, I swerve at them.
If they're going away from me, I lean on the horn right as I pass them by inches.

Lol i’m in the same boat. I swear to god no one down here knows how to drive in anything less that sunny weather.

Also my shitbox has probably been off-road more than half of the lifted pick ups around here

>meanwhile in Iowa
>they've only put a little salt fluid on a few bridges
>it's 50F
>it's fucking gorgeous outside
I am OK with this.

Bruh.. this meme was made in Texas, for Texans. Refinery daddies love to spoil their little boys.

No hate, flaunt it if you got it. But its hilarious to watch a 16year old cuss his parents out infront of god any everyone in an Academy parking lot.

>tfw you hit a pothole at night and it ruins the whole drive as you have to turn the radio down and wind all the windows down to listen to any little noise that wasn't there before

>smash pothole
>steering wheel begins to make a 2-3 thunks if fully turnt left
>get under it, wtf am i looking at
>take it to mechanic who tells me its nothing to worry about
its something to worry about

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a nightmare would require at least a passing acknowledgment of its existence first

With our two eyes. Apparently your four need to be checked.

t. Mid 90s Opel

fuck

reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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>live in NY
>bought a florida car a couple of months ago
>2003 maxima, perfect paint, no rust anywhere, tip top everything
>fucking salt cunts dumping their gay shit everywhere because it snowed
>underside of car went from being spotless to having the faintest traces of surface rust forming

Im going to lose my fucking mind

are you a woman?

...

top kek

...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

parallel parking is easy as fuck once your used to it I started driving daily about a year about and im a pro already. Mind you I have had my license since like 2009 but almost never drove because my job was like 3 blocks away from my house.

Dorito is kill

Christ this.

We have the salt brine trucks here, and sometimes it'll be a snowplow throwing rock salt, towing a fucking brine tank that sprays the road as well.

JUST RUST MY SHIT UP.

apparently some of them spray beet juice now,,,

The fact that they actually stopped engineering this engine when they reached the point of apex seals is a true testament to how fucking stupid, lazy, and niggerish the engineers were.

It's such an obvious shortcoming, but they were like "fuck it, I'm sick of this shit already, it's never going to work properly".

>but lets put it in cars and force it on society for decades to come

Yeah, they switched to that in Ontario.

It's 10x worse because it's fucking gooey/sticky so it adheres to the road better.

Which means it adheres to your car better, too.

That will be a new steering box goy

Damn, what happened to the diff carrier?

I live in Virginia near the shipyard, tons of young douches around here with decent wages and no families, so there's lots of lifted trucks. Its always funny to see the aftermath of an inch of snow, roads absolutely filled with bro mobiles doing the splits.

>16year old cuss his parents out infront of god any everyone in an Academy parking lot.
If that was my dad that 16 year old would be facing hospital time. What a spoiled shit and what poor excuses for parents.

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Here in Portland they are actively lowering speed limits. Half my commute just went from 30 to 25mph fml

>Which means it adheres to your car better, too.

here in B.C. it does not matter, every fucking tree has sap that sticks to paint like epoxy -.-

but you guys don't salt your roads

at least that's what I've heard

I heard you just use sand

I had an uber that was a whore driver and her pimp frontseat passenger who was drinking a 4loko. Needless to say it was a fun ride.

...

we use salt when it actively snows or the danger of ice sheets becomes real but because it never snows/gets all that cold here, we either run out of salt and have to use sand, or we cut the salt with sand right off the bat.

Every time she drivers, new damage occurs.
>curb rash on all four wheels now
>nicks and tears on all the tires
>someone slammed their door into the side
>damaged the splash plate, probably by parking too far forward, so I got to experience that failure at 80 mph on the freeway
>broke a splitter on the front bumper getting groceries
>parks under pine trees
>parks in front of sprinklers after I spend three hours washing and waxing the car
RIP in peace nigga. You're only gonna last 100k miles, wifecar.

so did you have to fugg in front of the pimp?

>tfw Onterrible
>tfw -19 the other day
>tfw only getting worse

Fuck this gay province.

>so did you have to fugg in front of the pimp?
I don't kiss and tell. [spoiler]I declined the pimp's kindly offer to "take this hot lady home later tonight"[/spoiler]

I parked under a poplar tree once, i still got spots on the roof

>Fuck this gay province.
at least your province stays cold and does not just blindside you with a dump of snow or 2 a year. Its like shit or get off the pot man.

why my wife is not allowed to drive: the post.

I remember my dad tried to hit me when I was 16 and I put him in the hospital. Fuck that drunk pos.

huge difference between dropping your drunk of a father and being a spoiled little shit.

>[spoiler] but you accepted his offer to suck his dick [spoiler]

you're the weedman, not us

Drunks are miserable pitiful shells of people. They are like a science fair volcano that fizzles out. So much potential and so little result.

>drives like a maniac whilst being poor driving a poormobile for poorfags

what, do you daily a box truck?
because I used to have to parallel those fuckers and still find room to drop the ramp

you're as bad as Texans in snow

>Yeah, they switched to that in Ontario.
i was gonna say that was good news since beet juice isn't going to corrode stuff until i read ...
>sugar beet by-product mixed with traditional rock salt
what the fuck is the point then

>sugar beet by-product mixed with traditional rock salt

canada: never accuse us of having a good idea.

seriously, this country is famous for taking something that works, spending millions of dollars to augment it because "lol its been a few days since we spent millions on useless shit" and then ending up with a product that is worse than the original that we still have to use because we ordered it in bulk from china to save 10 bucks.

oh and they will pass it off as environmentally friendly because Canadians are a bunch of environmentalist sheep

found all over socal. usually blocking the passing lanes and just going miles before actually turning left.

>literally all the miatas

Kek

The problem is there is really no easy fix. No matter what you put there it's gonna have to take a shit ton of impacts which will break down basically anything. LMAO APEX SEALS will continue to be a meme until we get some advances in material design.

Keep buying shitbox corollas as a junkyard intermediary. Get her a "new" car every few years for a grand.

*blocks your path*

I don't think you boys understand, I keep her off the street and out of a car as much for your sake as it is for mine.

Some cows are friendly, fuzzy bastards. Damn do they stink up a place though. Also fun when you're innamountains and SUDDENLY! a whole goddamn herd is on and around the 2-lane. The cheeky bastards escaped their ranch; took almost two full days for the ranchers to get them all. I was more amused than worried since, thankfully, I had a good sightline into the glade where they were hanging out.

I have no idea where you are, friend, but I genuinely thank you for that.