/ss13g/ - spessmen on a spess station

Mentioning it makes it worse.

...

fuck you
made me try

Just completely rip off Harry the Handsome Executive and it will be perfect.

>can scuttle around slowly with your feet forwards, can propel yourself backwards quickly, and can kick off of objects at mach speed
>different surfaces have different surface resistances
>rolling over items on the ground hurts your feet and/or chair
>take too much chair damage and it explodes violently

youtube.com/watch?v=6EwSCNymjg4

Has Riekland changed static ? Haven't seem them in a while

I have no idea how to make kicking stuff propel you, so rip
use a fire extinguisher for now

>Be Warden
>Besides some early shift yakketi-saxxing, shift start slow, officer patrol and make holsters
>Assistant getting fruity on me
>Report of lings
>Tidy up the brig and keep things clear
>Suddenly fucking russian behind me
>Got a few stuns on them but they get up instantly
>Try to get my buddy atmotech out of here by drawing fire and pushing him out
>For some reasons he run back in
>Set the alarm on radio, buddy get shot
>Drag him out of the brig
>Get shot in turn after we storm the brig with another Officer
>Spend some wild ride after getting shot by Moist Nuggit in the chest
>Turns out the fruity assistant saved me
>Give him the engineering hardsuit I asked him to return earlier in thanks
>Clean up the brig after getting out of medbay
>Shuttle called
>Go fortify escape
>Some fucks spawn a shitload of horrors with slimes
>Decide fuck it, take some shit out with my batons but he just spawn some more
>Get ZASS'd
>Eventually die as something explode on me

What the fuck was that all about

I never knew the slimes were that ridiculous. thats like a portal to hell or something.

>warden
>saxophone
They don't pay you enough for that.

Reminder that slimes do cloneloss.

Holy fuck I cloned a ling.

You offered to scan a backup for it, right?

it happens

They don't usually spawn that much, but then again my game knowledge is years old.
Shit might have changed/get added since then

Posts like these make me really appreciate this game

someone said slime steroid or something

They can sometimes achieve sentience and help players though

If a ling gets cloned from backup, do they lose genomes they succed after the backup was taken?

>join late
>see this
what do?

>observe

Sign on as Captain

Well slimes altered with phazon can have basically no weaknesses.

Sign on as an officer and hope the security officer: 1 gives enough hope for another sec officer to join.

If not:suffer from my choices

Ignore my last post, wrong pic

I was gonna ask for you to get fixed once medbay was at least semi running but then I got caught up in what I was doing I forgot all about

(im not the det)

Are you for real

For real for real

...

Fuck I've tried every single thing I can think of, it's strange as hell because last time I played, months ago, from this same computer everything worked fine.

Yes. ChocolateMoose confirmed before the round ended but I didn't screencap it.

>forget moist nuggets are deadly as fuck
>decide to just go and try disarm one of them so the warden can escape
>promptly get blasted in the face and almost die
mistakes were made, shame you didn't survive

>commit suicide
>they revive me using the defib
>need heart surgery because apparently heart is fucked up
>doc can't fix it fast enough and I die from lack of oxygen
>defibs me again
>"yaknow what I'm just going to clone you"
>"no don't it won-"
>black out
>doc tries to clone me
>doesn't work because lmao I committed suicide

>heart is fucked up
Using *suicide makes you take constant oxy damage as long as you're alive in that body, might've been changed to do a bunch of heart damage as well or something or it may have always been like that, but it's not fixable.
Dumbass should've tried to head transplant then clone you if he wanted to bring you back proper.

Yeah, Kavlax plays the game too

Don't think it's fair to call him a dumbass for not knowing how to get around suicide var when defibs aren't even supposed to revive suicided people anyways

>bash my head in a table repeatedly to commit suicide
>tell the chef he can have my body once I'm dead
>faggot doctor who passes by sees me bashing my head in a table
>decide I need to be healed
>tell him to fuck off and walk away to keep bashing my head
>he keeps coming back to drag me
>get to the point where I can't stand up anymore
>doctor finally drags me to medbay because I can't walk away
>proceed to check what's wrong with me with an health analyzer and the body scanner
>I go in crit
>he puts me in the tube
>succumb before tube can heal me
>he removes me from the tube and try to clone me
>then puts me in the morgue when I refuse to re-enter my corpse

doctors need to fuck off

are you feeling antagonized?
:^)

not really, just sad the chef didn't get his man meat but other than that I'm fine

Good thing the chef has access to the morgue!

>Vlad the Vamp
>Become RD
>Grab his jacket like one of my objectives
>Have no idea how to steal people without being caught
>Grow some Slippery Cyanide chili
>Wait a bit
>Grab a corpse from the morgue to succ
>Space it when I am done
>Find some brain dead drying guy
>Succ
>Feel pretty safe
>Walk back to the station
>SEC attacks me since apprently they were lookin for those valids
>Glare the HoS
>Run
>Doorcrushed
>Pelt him with a chili
>he goes down
>He follows me to the shuttle
>Pelt him with another after I get door crushed more
>he finally dies after I beat him with a baton
>No way to succ because they know I am a vampire and the valid patrol is coming
>Run onto the meteor
>Cant succ through mask which is shitty
>Get gangbanged by SEC and die

How boring, I can never play Vamp well like some people

Subject Epsilon is the slowest surgeon in SS13.

>be CE
>librarian is constantly talking on command comms
>tell him to stop
>he tries to flush me down disposals
>security guy arrests me for flashing him
why

My strategy with vamp:
>apply for roboticist
>Build ody with sleepers, syringe, jetpack
>Synth sleep tox
>Dart a bitch
>Sleeper them
>Run around and clank for a while while continuing to pump them with sleeper
>Stop by a vacant area like dorms on bagel station
>SUCC
>Become 666 edgelord incarnate after five people

>taking out the HoS with fucking chili
robust/10

Tfw you are in the era where people ironically think this games combat system lends itself towards being "robust"

>accidentally instacrit an officer with a pressure cannon

>Cant succ through mask which is shitty
Should've rolled a vox/plasamaman. You *already* weren't human.

Can someone code something to automatically open and bolt open the external airlocks in the escape hall for the duration the escape shuttle is docked?

One would think that the entry into the escape shuttle should be the fastest and easiest possible. Why do we have two airlocks that close quickly after they're opened?

Also the sound of them opening and closing repeatedly is annoying as hell.

>be HoP
>Host an open Mic Night on the holodeck
>get pushed down during my standup set
>the clown steals my headset
>I capture the clown
>bring him to my office, buckle him to a chair
>Tell him that for stealing my headset, an interrupting my set, he has to let me finish it
>spend the next ten minutes telling him terrible jokes

That's how you punish the clown.

Don't samefag yourself too hard, vlad

The best part

>Be warden
>Have a brain tumor
>When I get out of surgery, a plasmaman's been perma'd and is in the process of burning to death as an officer strips him naked

Pressure.

If there were just one door, any time someone felt like being a dick, or even accidentally did it, they would get sucked into space, along with everyone in that hallway being succ'd

It was a slippery cyanide chili I pelted him with like three>
>188620070
Not me. Sorry youre upset HoS

Those fucking slippery chilis were worth getting robusted by, when I finally realized what was happening I got a good chuckle.

>wanna try some robotocist stuff out.
>no one on R&D cept me I guess
>whole round gone before I'm done

no miners, 1 scientist, final destination.

Because security is not omniscient, they do not know the full story, they do not have access to your mind.

If you had told sec before that the librarian was listening into the command radio without permission, and if you had warned security that you are going to flush him down disposals for it, maybe, just maybe you wouldn't be arrested.

Grow up.

I should have lost by all means, those things had like 8 cyanide in them

lmao not even
sorry for being amused, didn't know you were incapable :^)

This isn't AD&D Greyhawk, cowboy. No frontier justice here.
That was a Space Crime as per Space Law, but so is vigilantism.

Ask the HoS AND the HoP is you can pull double duty as a Sec Officer, or else leave Sec's work to Sec.

I know that, which is precisely why we shouldn't use regular external accesses for shuttle docking.

Must just be two identical retards typing in the exact same way, sorry for confusing your braindamage with samefagging.

>Telepads are not constructable objects

Stop complaining.

Code it.

You seem furious over nothing

tell me your process for analyzing typing patterns from a two-line post
compare them to the original greentext
show your work, i'll wait

Law2 a borg to take up engineering, then law2 it to synthesize materials for you.

>did this once and he ahelped
>admin was passive aggressive over it
Fuck silicons

youtube.com/watch?v=jVMc2f3sOcE

Somewhat related to the game

>Passive aggressive madmin
There's nothing worse when dealing with them

luckily we had a slimeomancer who came through later on in the round. xenobiology is pretty neat so much phazon didnt know what to do with it. just need a way to make bananium now.

>stills aren't constructable objects

>be mime
>don't have any ideas for fun stuff to do
>decide to just chill and help people with their gimmicks
>eat spice with the chaplain
>get called out for being suspicious by a random assistant
>get assistant brigged through vague gestures and beespky
>help an assistant brave the lava floor
>inject myself with a SE syringe labelled HALK, which turned out to actually be hulk, and seizures
>watched the HoP attempt stand-up and fail
>spectate the most onesided rage cage match ever, in which a botanist attempted to push a plasmaman over, then gave up and beat it to death with a police baton
>helped teach a geneticist cloning and proper plasmaman resuscitation protocol
>tried to cure seizures in genetics, ended up giving myself eat superpower and coughing instead
>helped reconstruct the CMO who had been death touched and had three necrotic limbs
>fixed a miner's broken arm
>became a slimeperson, handed out slimeperson pills
>rescued the captain from the brink of death with the power of dexalin
not once did I see any antags, but that was anything but a dull shift.

The clownroid is on the derelict's zlevel, and there is a specific tile on the station zlevel that always goes to the derelict.
Bringing the clown (or whoever) back is super easy, because you and telesci are both in science.

The same slime can make bananium too

Post useless protips
If you get a headless corpse, you can know who it was by taking a blood sample, analyzing it in the chemmaster, and cross-referencing with the medical records
I think this is the only time the analyze button in the chemmaster is useful

You can repair the circuit board of an emagged airlock with a soldering iron.

Posibrains can re-enter their posibrain after ghosting.

How do I close a curtain?

Disassemble it and then assemble it.

click on it while adjacent

nope

Auth as admin and edit some variables?

>spawn as borer
>can't make host fountain blood everywhere by filling them with blood

>when your combat borgs don't pick bladewolf
>or atleast mister gutsy

Whats with all the fucking shitter Mommis recently?

I cant go a round without one scurrying into my workplace, pinging at me for 5 minutes, stealing something, then building fucking glass walls in the hallways.

>be exploring space
>find clown outpost
>has magivend
>put coin in magivend
>get pic related
Magic lvls everyone?
also making the AI fail was cool too I guess

People have been shitting on MoMMIs recently for no reason.

I guess some MoMMI mains have decided to show the station what truly shitty MoMMIs can do.

>mommi literally blocks the hallway starting to build some kind of plasmaman waiting room
>tell him to fuck off
>he buzzes at me and deconstructs it but leaves the doors bolted in place in the hallway

I didnt even bother telling the admins because every time I complain about mommi's they side with them

Oh boy, another exciting round of blob.

Crabtide, station wide.