ITT

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

ITT: we come up with the next most stupid thing in the automobile world

An AWD system which can only be used once, then it has to be serviced.
A button in the infotainment touchscreen that gives you a 25HP power up for $5.
Nissan makes the R36 Skyline GT-R a crossover
FWD electric cars
CVT muscle car

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theverge.com/2017/9/10/16283330/tesla-hurricane-irma-update-florida-extend-range-model-s-x-60-60d

GoogleCat
GoogleCat

sounds like you're taking about the Ferrari FF AWD system
the leaf is FWD

Evilember
Evilember

CVT muscle car

I mean, theoretically if you could build one to handle that kind of power it would be GOAT at the 1/4 mile, I mean the CVT could act as a traction control on launch just stepping into taller ratios to get traction

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

Every car is going to have suicide/butterfly doors

Bidwell
Bidwell

god that would be awful

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lostmypassword
lostmypassword

A button in the infotainment touchscreen that gives you a 25HP power up for $5.

I have a strong suspicion this will actually be a thing in Teslas and BMWs soon.

Emberburn
Emberburn

You might have to pay annual subscription fees to have access to the more advanced features too. That's how car manufacturers can continue to make money from used cars - subscription fees to keep the software licenses activated. If the software licenses deactivate, then the radio's physical buttons still work, but all the advanced features such as steering wheel buttons and touch screen could be disabled for everything but the required minimum baseline package required by law.

That's the danger about highly electronic cars. They're full of software for which subscription licenses are charged for farmers already. It's only another few steps to charge the common consumer.

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

A button in the infotainment touchscreen that gives you a 25HP power up for $5.
Tesla already sells a battery capacity powerup for $2000. Customers already paid for the batteries though, so the fee is just to unlock the software that allows the capacity to be used. It kind of sucks when customers pay for the goods, and pay for the development cost of the software to prevent use of the goods, and then have to pay a third time to have the license monitoring software unlock the feature for $2000.

Here, I'll sell you a hammer, but you don't have the rights to use it on nails bigger than 8penny or on high impact usage. But if you pay a subscription fee of $1 per month or $8/year, you will be allowed to use the hammer on 16 penny nails which require high impact force. The handle of the hammer has a breakage feature which snaps if the license fee is not paid and verified by plugging in the USB port of the hammer to a PC. Once the license fee is paid, an internal squib is enabled which allows epoxy to mix and fill in the breakage gap. That strengthens the hammer handle enough to now be able to hit with greater force. The criminal irony consumer already paid for all that extra stuff inside the hammer to restrict usage if the license fee is not paid. That's how a Tesla car operates.

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Bidwell
Bidwell

I guarantee you that in 20-30 years after all the big auto makers are doing this, the next huge thing will be an "open-source" auto manufacturer that allows full access to vehicle features and software from the factory and a major draw will be that it allows you to drive the vehicle fully under your control without driver aids (on closed private roadways only of course).

It'll be considered edgy and suicidal to drive a vehicle with no computer control and these dangerous free willed rebels will be seen as extremely problematic by the now aging ruling millennial, many of whom never owned a car or even learned how to drive. The same way punks were viewed in the 80s or hippies in the 60s.

pic unrelated.

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SniperWish
SniperWish

Sort of related.

I saw the adverts for Amazon Alexa things. One line was “dad loves it because it plugs right into the wall so it doesn’t need charging!”

Shit that used to be the norm. When we could charge devices with an internal battery that because the hot shit. Why is the fact that it plugs into a wall a fucking feature? We have gone full circle.

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

sounds like you're taking about the Ferrari FF AWD system
he was referring to the Nissan GTR's launch control voiding the warranty.

WebTool
WebTool

A button in the infotainment touchscreen that gives you a 25HP power up for $5.

Jesus Christ I didn't need this thought in my head

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CodeBuns
CodeBuns

Why not? It seems like a good idea. Push the button and you get a week of having your engine unlocked for 5HP more. You can press another button if you wanted 15HP but that would cost $20. Or you can subscribe monthly or annually for $500 to unlock your 2.5L engine to have over 200HP instead of the default 120HP.

In order to do this, the companies will have to first make sure all the cars have a captive software app system that is NOT android or iOS based. It will have to be one that is put out by a consortium of car makers so that they control all the patents and copyrights. That will legally prevent hacking and also make the car owner liable for any hacking that does occur unlike the current method with Android.

Once that is done, then software apps specific for that car model can be uploaded and updated at will by the car manufacturer. There won't be any "ucita style" legal backlash because it is a software UPDATE and not a new software load.

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

Steering wheel is now a touch screen

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Garbage Can Lid
Garbage Can Lid

oh you niggers think I'm playing?

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cum2soon
cum2soon

Hey Siri, drive me to McDonalds.

Flameblow
Flameblow

Hey Siri, drive me to McD
Your infotainment system immediately starts to play Burger King advertisements. Those are the same ones for the radio stations, but BK also paid a fee to your car maker to accept those TASTEFUL ads. Since you didn't pay the annual subscription fee for your infotainment software app ($500 per year), you get to hear the advertisements.

You press the off button for you audio system and the Burger King ads cease. But suddenly, ads for Viagra begin playing. It seems that Siri has observed that your PC's web browsing has a lot of viagra ad viewing. On top of that, you didn't pay the annual subscription fee for your infotainment software app to not play ads when turned off ($700 per year).

TechHater
TechHater

Tesla already sells a battery capacity powerup
I googled "tesla extra battery capacity" and found articles about that feature. Tesla released its cheaper Model X 60D and Model S 60 / 60D vehicles. The vehicles are equipped with a 75 KWH battery, but they are software locked to use only 80 percent of that available power. Drivers could unlock that extra capacity with an update for an additional $3,000.

theverge.com/2017/9/10/16283330/tesla-hurricane-irma-update-florida-extend-range-model-s-x-60-60d

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AwesomeTucker
AwesomeTucker

And this is entirely justifiable. When you add more power, more parts break before the warranty is over, and then manufacturers need to pay for it. To cover these expenses, they just add some margin to the sales of more powerful engine models. Besides, a more powerful engine is objectively worth more, so market working dictates that you should pay more for it.

Or you could just have it tuned without a warranty for a small price, but run the risk of blowing up without a warranty. A car manufacturer can put that same tune on your car, and still maintain your warranty, but it'll cost you simply because they have to cover the small percentage of cars that break sooner than they would have without that better tune.

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

its like it the early 70s when you need to buy a seperate power supply for most electronics if you didn't want to use batteries

self driving feature you can't turn off

w8t4u
w8t4u

I think luxury SUVs are going to start getting central tyre inflation in next few years. It'll be completely fucking pointless, but it'll probably sell some cars.

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

I'd make sense for stuff like a Range Rover, which still claims to be an off road vehicle despite having a low ground clearance and highway tires.

AwesomeTucker
AwesomeTucker

Yup. I remember wall power adaptors for game boy colours. When the SP came out with a built in battery everybody lost their shit.

You mean the battery CHARGES AGAIN!?

No more AAs and bad home rechargable batteries. Internal batteries were the future.

So why the fuck is plugging it into the wall a fucking feature?

I’m expecting cars to soon not allow you to drive with something in the passenger seat and the belt not connected. I know some make noises at the moment.

Won’t be long until they refuse to move after certain times or as a response to a weather report.

Lunatick
Lunatick

A button in the infotainment touchscreen that gives you a 25HP power up for $5

DON'T GIVE THEM IDEAS YOU FUCKING BACKSTABBING SHITCUNT

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Booteefool
Booteefool

This

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Methnerd
Methnerd

so market working dictates that you should pay more for it.
Except for Tesla, the car owner already paid for the battery capacity and the software but doesn't get to use it unless a fee is paid to set a flag that allows the capacity to be used.

eGremlin
eGremlin

is there something in the user agreement that prevents the buyer from setting that flag themselves? Assuming it can be done without Tesla's help

w8t4u
w8t4u

no glove compartment
more screens slapped in there than a pimp my ride beater
engine bay locked down and only a dealership with the key can open it
extra ev motor in the trunk or cargo space

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

is there something in the user agreement
Hacking violates the Tesla Warranty.
Various parts in the Tesla car have security seals or security paint. If the seals are broken, warranty coverage might not be possible for those parts. It's clear that Tesla doesn't want end users working on the cars like with regular automobiles.

It is unknown what types of punishment can occur if the software phones home and the server or the car-side software detects that it was hacked. It could set limp-home mode for the car. If the software disabled itself into limp-home mode, then you'd be up shit creek because the warranty was cancelled. Because there is firmware involved, Tesla is probably able to demand that for safety reasons, hacked systems must be completely replaced. So you'd have to put it in a factory authorized service center and purchase new motherboards, new controllers, new software programs with new valid warranty, etc. Tesla repair rates are already atrocious, so having to buy new Tesla guts would probably make you sick. And after all the costs, you still have a battery pack that no longer has a warranty because you modded the usage and charging of the batteries in that pack with your power capacity hack.

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

thought so, thanks for the clarifcation. it's hard to imagine a world where we buy cars like we buy electronics (every couple years, no user serviceable parts, if it breaks just get a new one)

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