/ss13/ - Space Station 13 General: Eli Wood Edition

>vote for deff

It looks like a male

I paid $0

You play mining borg to deliver every material 8 min into the round, get swapped to secborg and then run around lasering people with your vtec, cooler, and illegal weapons module.
Engi borgs cant duplicate unless some of it is delivered to begin with.

Penis and boypussy is superior, though

Head and eyes are both ungodly massive. This is, in fact, my fetish. There this is my waifu

Security borg is a lame boring doo doo head

>Xenobio time
>Reach black and adamantine slimes relatively quickly
>"I don't know what to do now."
>Lay down a bunch of golem runes
>1 golem total
>Slime-man him and give him a raincoat and heart
>"I don't know what we can do now."
>Make a beaker full of phazon and get a perfect combination on the first roll
>The entire round goes so smoothly I'm aimless for the majority of it

I don't understand this.

The eyes are kinda big but is the head really that large?
Looks normal to my eye, the legs look large and thicc

The human body is 7 and one half heads tall on average. From the head to the pelvis it is 4 heads, the the legs are 3.5 heads for most people, but especially tall people sometimes differ. Her head is about 33% larger than it should be. However, given she has massive breasts, she is still perfection.

>massive breasts
they're not animeHUEG

>bar

Is it better to maintain secrecy or announce it when there’s a cult

Maintain secrecy: easier to do raids

Announce it: shitters will deliberately get converted, people know not to go in maint

youtu.be/y2MRjsYCOhc

Embrace it and encourage the entire crew join the cult. Then everyone gets greentext and nobody has to die. - T CMO

I can't do that or I'll get banned (Security)
I would if I could though
Cult is shit and I'd rather join them and end the round

Just accidentally suffocate somewhere and get cloned

Security has way more scrutiny during Cult than Acting Cap RD/CMO/CE
You think people wouldn't notice?

Have the chaplain die quietly or wait for cult to kill him. Wait until cult is obvious enough then put E1M1.midi on and gettem valids until they manage to do the twister nar'sie summon, finally suicide succumb.

>implying you need to wait for that to happen

When you find out there's a cult call the shuttle immediately so nobody gets to have fun and then hide near the comms console with a shotgun.

Every time I try a different server I gain newfound respect for our coders and coderbase. At least our server fucking runs correctly with a solid frame rate

We had a few godlike coders who managed to get us smoother and faster than any other codebase

Floors wet

Our code runs well because it so goddamn old and literally nobody knows how to fully read it.
Every time I join a new server, I get depressed at how our server can never have their better gameplay mechanics because it's simply impossible to implement with how shitty out code is.

>runs well because it is old

t. someone who wasn't here before 2015

You don't know what you're talking about, punk.

>wonder why other servers have more features but lag to hell
Most of the shit other servers have is unoptimised garbage that wouldn't pass a port PR

The server used to freeze everytime the singularity moved one space, it used to freeze everytime someone printed something from the R&D console. Your memory is fucking shit mate.

Yeah, have to get those silky smooth FPS otherwise you might not be able to get pushed on the first try.

>mechanic makes a general fabricator just for medbay, preloaded with the blueprints for advanced trauma kits

If only upgrading machines mattered.

It's actually a gamechanger for Genetics, but Genetics is almost never staffed and nobody fucking cares about Geneticists for good reason.

Defending poor performance as a positive gameplay feature, nice.

on that note what should i be scanning as mechanic. no one ever finds anything cool like dice when i play it and everything else either wont let me scan it like jukebox, does let me but doesnt let me print them like health scanners and pill bags, is something antags never aim for so never gets broken or is so important people just instantly call the shuttle even when i tell them i have spare everything ready to go

>2561
>walk into bar
>Professor Layton: Calm Afternoon starts playing

Handtele, chemdispenser, uhhhhh
...uuhhhh

>publically announce you are cult and accepting converts
>make weird RP religeon so no on knows for sure if youre seriously antag
>have people volunteer to be sacrifices and get them cloned for even more smoke screen
>original cultists for performing any specific sacrifices needed
might b cool

This post is dedicated to the souls that endured the great Labor Camp imprisonment of Ork Trade Post Pi.

James Crow, Scientist. Prisoner #1. Deceased.
Richard Dix, Janitor. Prisoner #2. Survived.
Katalina E. Iosefika, Surgeon. Prisoner #3. Deceased.
Bones Jones, Quartermaster. Prisoner #4. Deceased.
Ewek Apps, Bartender. Prisoner #5. Survived.
Old Bee, Mime. Prisoner #6. Deceased.
Braylon Haynes, Librarian. Prisoner #7. Deceased.
Michael Lowstetter, Paramedic. Prisoner #8. Survived
Prospero Wang, Internal Affairs Agent. Prisoner #9. Survived.
Frank Bickerson, Security Officer. Prisoner #10. Deceased.
Elizabeth Blackwell, Shaft Miner. Prisoner #11. Survived.

>Upgrade genetics machine
>Geneticist uses the other machine
>Die inside

Honestly I would love it if you scanned the pill collector while you're scanning the chemdispenser. Pill collectors often go missing, and it's extremely crippling when they do if you don't have a plastic bag, and it's a PITA to get another one.
On top of that, it's pretty useful to have more pill collectors, you can use them as a huge pill bottle, which is really useful too.
Unfortunately I don't really have anything to give to you in return because you just scanned the chemdispenser, but still, that would be really helpful.

Telescopic Baton and Riot shields are fun to leave laying in the hallway.

Don't medical crates come with pill collectors?

yes

Let me answer your question:
>>>>cargo

Which version of Byond is the most stable in terms of graphics and lag

Latest version both stable and beta lags out randomly and becomes unplayable as you cant see any characters move only the chat, relogging doesnt work to fix the issue you need to wait till round ends

510.1347 is a little better but the same thing happens

510.1320 doesnt lag out at all but the graphichs are glitched so you cant see what any character is wearing or holding wich is a major disadvantage in any round as you cant tell the difference between a botanist running down the halway and a nuke ops wielding an e sword

>latejoin a few minutes late janitor
>all my cleaner grenades are gone
>order 2 janitorial crates along with other stuff
>the other stuff arrives but the janitorial crates never do
>"hey are my janitorial crates in?"
>order 2 more later
>they never arrive
>cargo was staffed the entire time

when was this? I'm trying to remember which round this was.

so yeah at the moment my plan is to go down the list from 510.1320 to 510.1347 and find a version that works

if anyone else has had this issue please tell me what you did to fix it

Last Wednesday, last round of the night. On bagel cuz the gimmick wouldn’t have worked otherwise

was this when the captain locked a bunch of people in perma? I was afk like the entire round because i was fixing my pc

It's been a while.
Has harmdragging been a good addition or not?

I've actually tried to do that but both pill collectors and health scanners appear to be bugged. It will scan them. You can make the paper. You can put the paper in the machine.... but then nothing. They never appear as a selectable object. Trying to put more paper in will say they're scanned but you can't actually make them. Unless there's like a seperate machine for tiny objects the wiki never mentioned.

Vox are for bullying.

Personal opinion: no, because it’s not “complete”. Harmdragging someone with 0% blood spewing blood everywhere really irritates me (not for cult reasons, but for janitorial reasons)

That aside people just ignore it for crit bodies and corpses and just throw the mutilated body in cloning

So I’d say it’s bad as is

>vox shows up at chemistry asking for ryetalyn
>YEAH YEAH I KNOW WHAT YOUR KIND WANTS
>give them 1 pill of hyperzine
>every time they say they wanted ryetalyn instead of hyperzine I say YEAH I HEARD YA HERE'S YOUR HYPERZINE and put another hyperzine pill down
>repeat until they go away or I get tired and pretend to be working

>Play security borg
>Doing rounds
>Get told by the Captain to kill a vox on asimov
>It begs me not to
>Beat it to death in the corridor and no one even tries to stop me
I actually like the vox too

Is it worth it as a new player to wander around as an assistant and 'spectate'?

No, every new players who does that says the same thing. They don't find anything interesting because they don't know how to seek out the interesting things that are happening on the station.
Play Janitor, trust me.

>CLONING IS OP WOW LOOK AT PEOPLE CLONING ME INSTEAD OF DOING SURGERY AND GIVING ME A WHOLE BLOODPACK WTF NERF CLONING
>make it so that anyone who goes into crit ends up in medbay with 300 brute and 0% blood
>make is so that anyone who is caught in a radstorm needs a fucking brain transplant
hmmmmmm...

Janitor was fun but I spend my time just wandering the main halls doing the same thing but occasionally slipping up people, then getting my bike or w/e stolen.
Someone mentioned ordering crates, I didn't/don't even know how to do that, so there's a bunch of stuff that you probably could do with janitor, but if you don't know enough about the game, it's hard to know what you're even missing out on.

Plus, having a job is added responsibility, don't wanna be bad at my job.

Try Cargo tech! You’ll learn how to hack and stuff. You can even visit the mining outpost to learn about internals, space suits, and mag boots.

If you deliver just 1 crate you will be doing better than a good portion of Cargo techs (it’s not that bad, heh)

Cargo tech is definitely the comfiest job too. I'd highly recommend it, just due to how cozy it is.

every time I don't make the OP it's utter shit
what's wrong with you people

chef is best beginner job it has no responsibility really but you can do anything that botany can do or even bartender you have a shittone of stuff you can try out + some advanced xeno biology stuff if you are feeling brave

>late join
>blood everywhere
>clone and fix a few people
>smash a shuttle window
Nothing changes.

>security borg
>doing rounds
>not just dancing in the bar while waiting for the AI to see harm
Stop trying to be sec.

>not looking for human harm in maint where the AI can’t see

I'm really getting sick of this meme I got to be honest

Objective new player job tier list:
GOD TIER:
Spending the entire round as security running around shooting slow or stationary targets in the practice room or playing laser tag, ignoring all duties

High tier:
Janitor
Cargo
Engi IF someone else is on Engi to show you how to do stuff
Mechanic

Okay tier:
Chef
Assistant
Priest
Shaft Miner if someone else is on it to show pick you up when you die to a goliath or traitor

Bad tier:
Shaft if alone
Enginear if alone
All meme roleplay jobs that do not work on VG because we are very low RP like Bartender (AKA he's braindead) and IAA

Don't pick them tier: The rest

As long as you make an attempt to be competent you're better than half the station.

Only when there's a janitor
I wish it didn't have to make such a huge fucking mess

>Play diona
>Every round has like 4 radstorms
>Just keep working during them
comfy as fuck

>order some monkey cubes for kitchen
>crates arrive via disposals
>no paper but no cubes in them
>PDA cargo about it
>"Sorry bud dunno what to tell you"

Fucking niggers

>admitting to valid hunting

Usually I get ordered to do rounds on sec bot. Its why I rarely pick it.

>Mechanic for a beginner
Please do not, I'd rather be botany and teaching people how to grow stuff and make sick GMOs

But security borgs are allowed to be sec they just have to make sure they follow their laws as well, so if someone tells you to let them go you do it.

Earlier a guy yelled at me in med for killing a guy as a borg by dragging him and it made me wonder what I'm supposed to do. It was an alien attack and he was essentially already dead as was I from fighting it off. Am I supposed to leave him to bleed out while people with beds/medbot grabs him? Since dragging is technically harm

>Chef orders a crate
>Mail him 10 basic supplies 5 meats 5 garnishes and 10 fruits
>He suicided when they spewed out of the disposal and made a mess of his kitchen
Quartermaster.
No sense of right or wrong.

>sarahjohnson and een in the same picture
Nuke it
Nuke it from outer space

It has multiple advantages
- Lets you have a reason to visit everywhere
- Lets you understand what everything does
- Lets you understand station repair is a meme and anything more than a single tile of damage is a shuttle call

I usually join as chef to relax and just make some interesting meals eventually. When my kitchen is full of a bunch of crates I didn't order with a bunch of shit I don't need at the moment it stresses me out, honestly.

>Caring about human harm is valid hunting

>Play chef
>Order about 30 crates of my own at round start
>Cargo asks me to help, or throws a big fit about having so much ordered in the first 10 minutes
>Grab a welder and mask while out, can quickly chop up the crates when mailed

Chef is a nice job

>implying valid hunting greyscum is a bad thing

>vox
>birb
pick one

Reminder that vox are disgusting looking turkey mutants and not your "cute birbs :3"

Harm doesn't exist if you don't know about it.

DELET THIS