Yo Christians, how do you imagine heaven? Will it be a place and you have a body of some sort...

And half a a liter water a day...

back to topic, so heaven or the Christian afterlife is according to scripture a place on earth where good people 'rematerialize' in physical human form and get rewarded with a perfect life in a perfect kingdom without sin?

This. I'm legit curious where the idea of heaven as a place outside Earth came from when all the Bible says about the afterlife is that the dead will be resurrected on Earth where God will create his new kingdom.

Ok, heaven does exist in the Bible and some people did go there after dying (Isaiah and Jesus). But it's little more than God's office, it's not the place made for people to get their reward in the afterlife.

You are a soul which has the unique perspective of awareness.

You can travel in any form you chose. Be it the infinitesmall soul, the human form of your selection, an angelic form or even a strange beastly form.

You can ask for anything you want and you will have it, within reason. You can ask for sex with a bunch of women, but they will probably want you to look like an alpha male before they agree to that... so you just ask God to look like an alpha male and get your jimmies on.

Oh yeah, and you get to finally see God if you just ask.

What puzzles me is that the afterlife is a strong motive in the Christian religion, yet I find few descriptions of it or at least at what it is imagined. So yeah, are there different views among different branches of Christendom, like catholic, protestant or orthodox?

How do you know that, is that something your church teaches you or is this something you deduct yourself from the Bible?

>why would God let you have promiscuous sex with tons of women?
Esp when "God" highly thinks of marriage? Why would he let petty human lust exist?

I don't think you understand. If heaven could be imaginable, then it wouldn't be worthwhile. If it were imaginable, then that means our finite human minds could comprehend it and that we could get bored with it, given eternity.

When I search for hell, there is tons of descriptions how people imagine it etc. Can't find anything on heaven. Isn't that odd?
Seriously, I still have no idea what Christian afterlife is supposed to be like.

In depicting heaven almost everyone has their own ideal world whereas depictions of a hell are more agreeable. Not to say there aren't different views on what hell would be like.

So albeit the afterlife is the ultimate goal for a Christian there are no codified views on how exactly this afterlife looks like?

>. Keep in mind that the entire current population of the planet could fit in the state of Texas.

I mean, the entire population of the planet could fit in a 1 km diameter sphere if you just packed them in. But it wouldn't be nice.

Like some sort of purgatory where you live your happiest moments of your life and of others'. Or a state of meditation filled with inner peace after a life of turmoil,like a smooth sail after a storm.

That sounds more like the Buddhist Nirvana.

Huh, never knew that since I'm not that interested in buddhism

Interjection. Christians don't get to go to heaven so all they can do is imagine.

ok then, but is this your personal imagination or is this based on something your church or community teach you?

Heaven is basically a lie as we know it. The Bible says there will be a new heavens (sky) and a new earth after a resurrection of all people which occurs on judgement day. During which our bodies will change and we will be like the angels of Heaven (I assume this means we can fly and have powers). Some will go to the new earth, others to hell. The city on this new Earth will be called the new Jerusalem and will be an enormous cube with 12 gates made out of enormous pearls, this is where God will reside and his presence will provide all the light necessary for the entire new planet, there will no longer be a sun or moon for light. The city will be made out of various precious metals and stones and rare items.

It is my assumption that only the best of humanity will be able to live close to God because the light emitted by God is what brings happiness and joy. Apparently there will be a place for sinners outside of the city and they won't get to enjoy God's perfection.

heaven is a place where you can get two blowjobs simultaneously

And Hell is where you give two blowjobs simultaneously?

I suppose you never had a happy threesome with a nice rimjob/blowjob combo then?

You don't understand, TWO blowjobs at ONCE. No mortal can get two blowjobs at once, even if two people are sucking on your dick it's still just one blowjob because you only have one dick.

In heaven it's like having two dicks simultaneously. Double the penile stimulation.

I heard in heaven every board is as dope as 2011 /sp/.

iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/man-born-two-penises/

So heaven is the place where you can make good on your repressed sexual desires? No offense, but I think it is a safer bet to fuck my share while I'm still young and potent.

It's conclusions ive made on my own based on what I read from the bible.

"In the next age they are not given to marriage but are free like the angels."
"It pleases your Father to give good gifts to his children. Ask and you will receive."

Marriage is for earthly times. Promiscuous sex can be a good gift when it's not tied to our current system of things.

Ye, I feel like it's the only logic option

Lmao

It really seems like Christian theology has no real heaven.

So it is a cat in the bag? Why does have Islam a well describe image of heave, but Christianity hasn't?

heaven is gods throne room we will only be judged there

the earth will be remade for us because its the place god gave man to rule over

Basically the Bible describes paradise as a place very similar to earth. Cities, agriculture, work, play, hobbies, animals, plants, wine, food, fine clothes, golden jewelry, royal authority, basically all the good things in life, with the added feature of holiness, righteousness, and virtue. Basically all weakness and depravity will be purged so the saints can enjoy all things as they were meant to be enjoyed. Joy and love triumph over all and Hope reigns supreme.

Some theologians, influenced by Plato decided that they were more spiritual then God, and that paradise is actually an abstract existence without time or space where everyone will experience a mystical orgasm for eternity.

No one but permavirgin NEET monks get off to that idea however, so eventually the idea in the public imagination became simply a realm without space or time, blinded in white light, with clouds as the floor and an everlasting worship service as the only feature of reality. Basically they turned Heaven to Hell by their blindness and the hope of resurrection was lost.

What is actually promise?

A city of gold and jewels
A new earth and sky
Immortality and supernatural powers
The right to rule as god-kings over angels and lesser men.

Its so disgusting to me, that the promises of God are reduced to boring platitude trash. We're told we'll become demigods and believe we'll become song-birds.

It's the conclusion I drew from studying each religious interpretation of heaven and hell and comparing them to biological studies of the brain.
>tl;dr read some wiki pages and came up with conclusions

Honestly, this is my hope. I've been having countless dreams for years involving me being back in high school with all my friends, so an eternal version of that would be literal heaven for me.

Do you have anothing to back up those claims? Islam promises a temporal afterlife, while Christianity does not, per Christ.

Every mention of the afterlife in the Christian religion is the promise of physical resurrection. To deny this is to deny the Incarnation itself.

The notion of a purely immaterial afterlife is heretical and contrary to Scripture. Fools decided after the fact that all references to matter in the Age to Come must be symbolic, but this is an error in reasoning.

Christ is called "The firstfruits of the resurrection"

God promises to "create a new heavens and a new earth"

Nowhere does he promise mystical orgasm. This is a delusion of contemplatives, not the promise of God.

they better have videogames and anime

what denomination are you, if I can be so bold?

I don't know that I really fit into one. I live around southern baptist churches, but I don't know that they represent my views.

autism

Big fluffy marshmallow clouds on which you can hear Satan assraping everyone down below.

I don't want to be rude but wasn't Islam literally made up, depending on prophet's mood?

As an advocatus diaboli I could say the same about pretty much every religion.

So there is kingdom come, for which people are waiting for 2k years, but didn't have come yet? Does this mean the Christian afterlife is so far a failed prophecy?

which one isn't? then, their paradise is better than the christian one. If I ever feel the need to hedge my bets, I go for muslim.