Tell me about conservative versus reform Judaism, Veeky Forums

Tell me about conservative versus reform Judaism, Veeky Forums.

When did they diverge and which is the legitimate sect?

Conservatives all the way. They are the only ones who are ready to do radical stuff like rebuilding the Temple. Reformists are too pussy and too guilt-ridden.

Well, Reform Judaism is certainly older than Conservative Judaism. It was a reaction to the Enlightenment, and essentially an attempt to assimilate into European society while still retaining some degree of Jewishness, often not a very large one.

Conservative Judaism was itself a reaction to Reform Judaism, a sense that too much had been given up in an attempt to merge into society. It's primarily an American phenomenon, I'm not really sure why, but in places like North Africa and most of Europe, you pretty much only have Reform and Orthodox Judaism, Conservative is a tiny, tiny thing.

> which is the legitimate sect?

Neither of them. Orthodox all the way.

Orthodox Jews hate Zionists. They believe Israel is not ready for the Jews and the interlopers have take it over.

No, that's Haredi Jews. Haredi != Orthodox; they're there own thing and more aligned with Hasidic than something like Litvak Orthodoxy.

Can someone further explain 'orthodox', 'ultra-orthodox', 'haredi', and 'hasidi'?

The vast majority of Orthodox Jews are Zionists. You're thinking of a particularly small sect of American Ultra Orthodox Jews who get media attention only because they're so unusual and kooky.

VERY briefly and roughly

Orthodox:

>Believes that the Chumash is dictated by God, the rest of the Tanach is inspired word of God, and that it is the obligation of every Jew to live by said divine law, forever.

Ultra-Orthodox:

>A somewhat casual term for Haredi. Mostly used in America

Haredi:

> A kind of primitivist and separatist group of Hasidim; at least post WW2, mostly merged from shattered Jewish communities from Europe. Believe that they are the only people following Judaism properly (hence the original use of ultra-orthodox). Firmly anti-zionist, reject most advances from post 1750 or so.

Hasidic:

>A populist Jewish movement that is usually considered to have started in the 18th century by Rabbi Yisrael ben Eliezer, AKA the Baal Shem Tov, in Eastern Europe. Most adherents are descended from Russian, Ukrainian, Polish, or Hungarian Jews. Extremely insular, even towards other Hasidic groups. Have less of an emphasis on scholarship than other Orthodox movements, and more of an emphasis on feeling divine presence emotionally. Tend to form pseudo-aristocracies around rabbinical families, who lead the communities in secular aspects as well as religious.

Essentially, it's one of those all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares things: Orthodox includes Hasidim and Haredi, which do not comprise the whole of Orthodox Judaism.

the state of israel is the third temple

Fun fact: Most Israeli Haredi men are on welfare because they go to religious school, refuse to work, and have huge families.

>believes in metaphoric faggotry
It has to be a literal temple.

The poorest town in America is almost entirely Jewish

The poorest town in America is some shithole in eastern Kentucky that's 99% white, forgot its name.

And then they vote for Shas whose main campaign promise is to keep the welfare for the Haredi going indefinitely, who can afford to stay in power because of the aforementioned huge families the Haredi go for which gives them electoral presence.


.t American Orthodox Jew who hears Israeli friends complain about it endlessly.

That's because it doesn't exist. The poorest town in america is a jewish settlement in new york state

At least according to Wiki, you're both wrong: The poorest town in America is apparently Blackwater, Arizona, whose population is principally Native American, (about 72%) and the largest minority is Latino (about 22%)

A little over two years ago, I visited Six Flags Great Adventure theme park somewhere in the middle of October.
Perhaps because of some Hebrew Holiday, the park was filled with Jewish families. I could tell by the yarmulkes and squiggly sideburns. The men wore nice black suits.
What horrified me was that at least half the family groups contained at least one severely handicapped child. They were hideous to behold. They had huge, protruding teeth, demented facial expressions, curved, hunched bodies. Each of these mutant children was pushed around in a large black wagon that looked like a cross between a shopping cart and a 19th-century baby buggy.
Was it Jewish cripple discount day at Six Flags?
Are all Jewish children inbred to the point of wanton deformity?
Was this just some strain of Judaism? If so, which?
The mere memory of that day nauseates me.
Thousands of them....

It's inbreeding. Ashkenazim are thought to descend from a base population of only a few hundred Jewish males.

Explain the famous ashkenazi IQ

Charedim

Intelligence is a short term adaptation rather a racial trait

How can Haredi call themselves ultra-orthodox and also reject Zionism? Isn't Zionism the belief that Israel as a nation must and should exist?

>Isn't Zionism the belief that Israel as a nation must and should exist?

Zionism is the belief that there should be a Jewish state in the land of Israel right now, or at least as soon as can be arranged if you want to go back to 19th century Zionism.

Haredi call themselves Ultra-Orthodox because they view themselves as practicing the best form of Judaism; which doesn't require a Jewish political entity in Israel, and according to their arguments is something that shouldn't be done until the messianic era.

Man that's autistic.

Yes yes jews HOWEVER...

how do I get a jew fu?

Shekels DUH

They're both different consistencies and colours of the same shit.

The most observant Jewish sects are very insular and don't trust outside groups, even other Jews. Thus there's a fair amount of inbreeding.