Hello, everyone! I'm sorry I'm late, I just wanted to show up to wish you all a happy thread number two hundred! I wanted to do something special for you guys, so I'm gonna critique the poems in the thread! It's been awhile since I've done this, and it's still poetry content so move your hand away from the silent alarm! I see you!
youtube.com/watch?v=JwAPFgZvM7s&t
This is really interesting in both structure and meaning, it sounds manic and disjointed at first and slowly coalesces into complete verses, but the ending contradiction shows the point of view is still just as manic, just more elucidated. Very intriguing indeed!
This one wears its intended story on its sleeve, but that doesn't make it bad! In fact, with us knowing what's happening going in you devote the entire poem to building from the beginning and explaining what happened. It almost sounds like someone who wants to join them but can't.
Blood of the bond is stronger than the water of the womb, my friend. I can feel how much you care for them through the words on the screen!
It sounds like someone who wants to be alone being hounded until they come out and become another hound. But is it what they want, or is it just a loss of self? For some reason, "Somewhere I feel safe" sticks out to me, and it makes the last line feel very... Non consensual.
Unlike those cowards who died in the war, I went back home and had a family, like a brave hero! Jokes aside, the feelings of survivors guilt and self loathing are very detailed and evident here, but the use of "left" makes it ambiguous as to if he really ran away, or just got lucky.
A reprieve from a tiring, challenging event. Permanent or temporary?
I can feel the emotional exhaustion and the surprise and hatred at being awake, this is pretty well made! I feel bad for not having more to say about it...