/twg/ - Total War General

The Day After Christmas Edition

>Warhammer
Tomb Kings revealed
youtube.com/watch?v=IpWqKme-g_4
store.steampowered.com/app/617870
totalwar.com/blog/tomb-kings-announcement
tl;dr Tomb Kings on the 23rd of January, 4 LL's
Laboratory Mode
youtube.com/watch?v=qLSezK6_N5w
store.steampowered.com/app/594570/
totalwar.com/blog/reprisal-update-final-patch-notes
tl;dr: Laboratory and Reprisal updates now live, more balances & updates in January alongside campaign DLC and FLC

>History
youtube.com/watch?v=PhFP75EGPsI
store.steampowered.com/app/694880/Total_War_ROME_II__Empire_Divided/
youtube.com/watch?v=-Fu0UPnk4kc
store.steampowered.com/app/712100/Total_War_Saga_Thrones_of_Britannia/
totalwar.com/blog/thrones-campaign-map-reveal
tl;dr New Britain map is fuck huge so you can never escape the rain

>FAQs and General Info
pastebin.com/uGj4AUHR
pastebin.com/gZ1T9VCN
pastebin.com/hPkPujTB
twcenter.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?2191-Total-War-WARHAMMER-Modifications
twcenter.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?1553-Total-War-Warhammer-II-Modifications

Campaign posting and screenshot sharing encouraged!

Previous:

D A W I

>Brettonia campaign
>have taken Marienburg
>have confederated Artois and have Chilefroy on "quest" trawling the ocean for free gimmedats islands
>Lyonesse got conquered by Mousillion, so I went over there and "liberated" them by conquering it and wiping out the vampcunts (I didn't bother actually liberating them even though I have a mod to do so as well as a mod that makes duke Lyonesse a LL, because seriously fuck you Lyonesse all you ever do is sit in your capital and jack off and hurt my relations with the elves)

So i've got 3 full provinces that are decently developed (though buildings are still inhaling all my GPT, I got about 5k income though so if I needed to raise a 2nd army I could)

Leon has a fullstack and the sword of couronne. The other Dukedoms all have the defensive trait, so for right now they're resisting confederation. Since I cannot annex the lower half of Brettonia, should I:

>A
Crusade south and conquer Estalia, which surprisingly has not been wiped out by beast men.
Pros: Very valuable province, more land = more power = hopefully better chances at confederation. As far as I can tell they aren't allied with anyone either, just at war with the Skaven
Cons: Because of how expensive Bretonnian infrastructure is it'll take a long ass time to build up, will almost certainly drag me into a war with Hellpit immediately after in order to protect my gains
>B
Crusade north and raze Norsca to the ground?
Pros: Free loot and EXP, remove snow kebab
Cons: No new territory because like fuck am I colonizing that hell hole
>C
Pick a random fight with Franz even though he's been a bro and staying on his side of the mountains all this time
Pros: I don't think he's allied with anyone? Reikland is a good province. Plus maybe i'll get to kill Gelt and get that sweet +armor to whole army trait
Cons: Dishonoraburr, get dragged into eternal war with the Empire

The answer is always remove snow kebab.

does anybody else find it really hard to actually finish a ME campaign?

Remove snow kebab obviously. Like fuck what are you doing attacking fellow men

>Current disposition of forces

1 Army
Loeun
Damosel (Heavens)
5x Men at Arms (Spear+Shield)
4x Peasant Bowmen
1x Grail Reliquae
4x Knights of the Realm
2x Pegasus Knights
2x Trebuchets

(and also Chilefroy fucking around on the ocean picking up goodie huts)

>Current Provincial disposition

>Couronne
Tier 4 recruitment province. Haven't teched any of my buildings past 3 though. L'Anguille is a bar, a docks, and a garrison
>Marienburg
Tier 4 Money Province. Walls and economic buildings exclusively. Wasteland is a saltworks, a garrison, and a bar
>Artois
Mixed. Going to be my primary recruitment center for trebuchets and archers once I finish teching it up and get the slots to build farms in the capital, otherwise it's also a money province centered around it's trade goods.

Stunning Bretonnian Women Are Waiting To Chat Online Right Now!

The one problem is I don't have the northmen/chaos techs yet that eliminate/reduce attrition. It'll take ~10ish turns to research both. I'm wary of spending that amount of time just sitting around because the game loves to spring negative traits on idle Brettonian lords

WARNING: Sally Forth Only If You Are 18 Years Old!

Look like an Elf to me

>I'm wary of spending that amount of time just sitting around
If you don't want to do anything violent or movingly during those ten turns you could always just move them into the water and wait it out there. Or even begin creeping close to Norscan shores to spook them with your chivalric banners from afar until the time comes to do so up close.

>just drive by menacingly with banners
I might do that. There may also be a few goodie huts up there in the sea of claws Louen can ransack that I haven't been able to send Chilefoy after because the Norsemen would instantly launch and rape him at sea

...

Guys quick, I had a shit christmas because I pretty much no longer have a family anymore.

Post Screenshots. Whoever this one belongs too, its one of my favorites.

end of an era

>this kills the rat

>CROXD.com

have webm

...

When Mortal Empires says it doesn't have Norsca, does that mean they're not playable or that they're the old "ten billion chariots and maybe a marauder unit if you're lucky" armies from TW1?

D E L E T E T H I S

Both
Full Norsca's not happening until May

What do you think it means?

Hint: the answer is BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION

...

This is the ideal Bretonnian Knight. You may not like it, but this is what peak chivalry looks like.

...

W-Why are the other witch elves just staring...

Is that the average or the ideal? Make up your mind.

...

>This is the ideal Bretonnian Knight
Non. Zhat is neither Landuin nor Giles

...

i don't get it. what's the meme?

YOU JUST KNOW

Pretty much every general after med2 is able to be nuked by a single volly of fire. Especially in Empire and Napoleon
>start battle
>Napoleon alone eats a cannonball right as the battle starts

...

Why is the balance of power so, well, balanced?

...

Good old Free Space Marines

>stinky poopy goats
>proud handsome men of the empire
Seems a fair estimation of chances to me.

I'm posting until we get our promised regimental gangbang

this is gonna be hilarious.

>tfw you will never firebomb Castle Drakenhof

>Eyes layered over hair

>he isn't using the fancy pack city models

>KAZU

>Grail Damsels are completely outside the laws of Bretonnia and equally outside its social customs. No one would dare to criticise one, even behind her back. They are all beautiful, appearing young for many years before suddenly withdrawing to the Forest of Loren, where most assume that they die. Many go about with their hair uncovered, and not a few are notorious for their promiscuity, though no tales of a Grail Damsel giving birth are known. It also seems to be socially acceptable for the Damsels to have Grail Knights as their companions and lovers. Few claim to understand their behavior, but the arcane support they give to Bretonnia’s armies is much appreciated

Bueno

Tod's a tough ol' bastard, didn't expect him to do half of One-eye's health.

The true grail the questing knights search for is a waifu.

...

Now that the enemy is nice and softened up lets send in the foot.

Maybe they're just into that?

I don't care if its cheating, the formation mod is the best. It makes basic bitch-made infantry interesting and also makes Empire not boring as hell.

Any version with Skarsnik and Belegar?

What's the most fun Bretonnia campaign. I've only done Alberic twice and gotten bored around turn 70.

Loeun.

Fay's closeness to angry Mel Gibson has given me some interesting early game fights and Louie Luis is in a good spot to go fuck with Norsca early on. Alberic suffers from being quite surrounded by Bretonnians, who you're dissuaded from waging war on.

What faction do I play in ME that isn't for shitters

Brettonia

>Dawi already fucked

That's a first.

Loeun for a standard campaign. He's a strong hero and you start with a good province, Marienburg is in striking distance and represents a good financial boon. Your early game will be consumed with Whackamole between Marienburg, Grung Zint, Orc Incursions. Then after that, dealing with Mousillion and the snownogs.

Bordeleaux is what you play if you want to be an asshole and a kingslayer and conquer all of Brettonia by force.

Feet Enchantress/Carsaconne is hard mode. you start with 2-3 aggressive enemies nearby, including the wood elves who are going to be a perminent thorn in your dick. Your starting province sucks and your LL kind of blows at first

my door just creaked and it sounded like one of the shogun 2 soundtracks

your door creaked and it sounded like YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *DONK*?

>and your LL kind of blows

She sure does! Heeeey-yo, ha ha.

Well I mean, just look at dem lips

My challenge mode as Carscasonne is always to see how long I can prevent Estalia from being destroyed by either beastmen or skaven.
Taking over Bordeleaux seems like a necessary evil if you want a safer position.

>You will never be a Knight of the Empire
>You will never have a female squire
>You will never travel the old world countryside together stopping vile greenskin incursions
>You will never have adrenaline-filled, passionate sex after battle

>your LL kind of blows at first

To be honest, that's pretty much all female LLs since theyre all castor lords who dont even have unique spell kits like say Gelt or Teclis. At least it looks like Khalida will be the first female LL who doesnt require you to grind her to Lv 10 to be useful

Crooked Moon

>tfw she's gonna give army wide buffs to her archers AND army wide poison

Oh yes.

not that one but definitely one of the loading tracks. i couldn't find it on youtube though.

I like to imagine the Bow Ushabti are gonna like similar to reaper bolt throwers, only that there are more of them chucking those giant arrows at the enemy.

>It ain't dawi
>It ain't dawi
>I ain't no longbeard's son

after midgame literally every single ME game turns out exactly the same and it's boring as shit

The other thread died... I can't believe it...

I wish I could ever get much use out of Kroxigars. They feel so squishy and they aren't really that deadly.

G O B L I N S

D A W I

Lads what are some ahistorical bs that pisses you off about total war games?
Mine would have to be the fact that archery units outrange matchlocks in shogun 2 and that they're more accurate.
Certainly this isn't true and there's primary sources who actually claim the opposite. Both sources from the Japs and later Koreans tell us that archers were getting BTFO by matchlocks in both range and accuracy.
In Europe the same was being said and when Henry VIII landed in France he had to turn to expensive mercs and offer higher wages to his men who took up firearms because longbowmen were getting their shit knocked out by French handgunners. The French also wrote that longbowmen opened fire at a close range, allowing their handgunners to pretty much just blast them to bits. Trial of arms done in this period also seem to paint the opposite, that the matchlock was more accurate, had more punch, and could fire effectively further than bows and crossbows.

>People in this thread actually auto resolve sieges

Does AI Belegor ever get Eight Peaks back?

Nice Toaster.

The best screenshot for now.

Vamp areas just look like shit.

>he enjoys playing the same exact shallow siege battle over and over and over and over and over and over

...

Its fun to do with a 20 stack arty train army behind me.

I wish witch elves didn't die a stiff breeze. I would love to roll armies with nothing but mostly naked psycho girls.

Slayers are better and more insane.

Wait for Hellebron to arrive as a Delf legendary laird. Probably will buff Witch elves like crazy

This is all more or less true. All the Longbow had going for it was massed arc fire.

>yfw Delves get Malus Darkblade
>yfw cold one units in his army don't get enraged
>yfw Delf Cav is suddenly worth a damn

heh... nothing personelle, asurshits

Somewhere
Lindybeige is screaming in his sleep

After midgame every single strategy game plays the same.

big problem with them is that they really don't serve a role in the delf roster outside of mp, where you use them to taunt important units like cav/lords

Someone pls make a khemri tv meme with this text

>Didn't Morathi, that whore
>admit that she had given birth to Malekith from her filthy womb?

Which one of us lost tenure at his university for being a Cunt, Lindy? OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

They're just for enraging shit. It's crazy useful in multiplayer. Not so much in single player, but I've still found them pretty useful at stopping cav getting away.

But she literally did. That doesn't really make sense. Would make sense if you follow the person×faction idea in the original. Like Neferata created vampire counts or something.

This goofy monkey-rat could very well be the next Skaven LL. I hope his in-game model doesn't look like a chimp with buck teeth.

Also, why is there a braid of red hair attached to his skull?