/twg/ Total War General

This is it.I forgot how on VH the AI magically unites against you from the 4 corners of the world for no apparent reason.After the horsefuckers sued for peace I lost the other 3 villages to fresh stacks of enemies that came out of the fucking fog.Then the only faction that didn't hate me got wiped in one turn.This is how i die

Kill the dark whore, otherwise she'll murder you
Marry a wood qt
Fuck asoy whore while her cuckold bf watches and strokes his two incher

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Kangz

>End Turn sieging a Orc settlement with walls
>Fight a massive as fuck 3v1 battle against Greenskins as another horde pops out of the woodwork
>Just barely scrape out a win
>Game crashes as the final faction takes it's last turn

FUCKIN EPIC, this game needs some kind of after battle autosave during AI turns. This has happened so many times.

God speed, Daci-cuck

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which means just as retarded

Grave guard and Tomb Guard in one army.

Fucking broken.

this is the right answer

kill high elf
fuck wood
marry dark elf qt

It begins.First wave should be doable.

Fuck and marry them all
Then fuck them more when they are carrying my babies

Can I just kill them all and void other options?

Kill and Eat Dark Elf
Fuck Wood Elf
Marry Into High Elf Princess Riches

Kill all three, marry a hard working reikland farm girl

>Kill and Eat Dark Elf
>Marry Into High Elf Princess Riches
the eternal asur

>marry reikland farm girl
>go through years of happy-ness
>Chaos comes
>Burn down your farm and ties you up against a post
>Norscan Warriors take turns with your wife
>Force her to copulate with a minotaur
>Chaos is defeated and ran off
>Your wife is pregnant
>You have to take care of your wife's son

EMPIRE YES!

Is there any point to releasing captives unless you want to RP as a merciful guy? The ransom money is tiny and the replenishment debuff is significant, especially after a battle.

>taking care of mutants
>not throwing them in the woods and letting beastcucks raise them

It's for diplomatic reasons, if you go to war with a faction you don't want to fight you give back their captives and they slowly regain diplomacy points.

Kill dark elf, bitch be insane even if kinda cute.
Fuck high elf, she's probably repressed and freaky, but living in an eat or be eaten court where everyone wants you fired and humiliated sounds stressful as fuck.
Marry wood elf, wake up every day to the smell of fresh leaves and wet soil, be carefree and travel around occasionally.

Big battles net me like 1k gold which is nothing to sniff at.

funny how crows are amongst the smartest birds

Fuck dark elf as a sex slave chained up
Marry Wood Elf
Kill High elf because they fuck like starfishes

>literal cheats

→
→
I have a few hours in Attila and can you really expand "up" rather than "out" as opposed to other Total War games?

Could someone explain what mechanics make this the case?

That bird's argument was probably gay af, look at the cursive its written in.

>carefree
>forest full of beastmemes and other freaky fay things that want to kill you
>not being under constant stress of worrying about stepping on the wrong leaf, being pranked by some dickish spirit for no reason or meeting some wood spirit with PMS issues

>fishes

I was actually thinking more of living in Laurelorn forest, near Middenland or something.

All of the WE habitats are just extensions of Athel Loren, user.

They live longer, some live for over 200 years

who are the mutts of warhammer

But I wouldn't be in Athel Loren, with all the bad stuff you mentioned. Wasn't that the point?

Can someone explain to me the appeal of playing Dwarfs.

the fuck, where did you read that?

The oldest living hits about 20 - 25 years.

well fuck me and my ability to command

Beastmen

Being the manlet you are in real-life, in a video game.

All of that bad stuff is in Laurelorn, too. Because once again, all of the WE habitats are extensions of Athel Loren.

that one buzzfeed article

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Artillery

56% elves

1) Winning shoot-outs with Elgi
2) Watching napalm stick to grobi
3) Hearing their drums sound for you in the deep
4) Holding the line at all costs

the soy. the soy makes it work

What difficulty?

lets talk about total war: arena

VH

>abandoning them in the woods where they will grow into vicious monsters who loathe mankind
>not accepting this ordeal as a test of your faith in the gods
>not raising the babies as your own children
>not teaching them to overcome their evil propensities with the help of the Holy Word of Sigmar

Still no invite

>sigmarcucks actually believe this

>Witch Hunters catch a wind of it
>raid your house and kill your parents
>you manage to escape into the forest and swear revenge on the mankind

if i had a chance before i am fucked now

Hi there Archaon’s “dad”

Why does /twg/ have such a high ratio of soy posts per thread? I don't even see it referenced as frequently on /pol/ and /v/ for fucks sake.

That is LITERALLY how Archaon was born.

you're gonna fight to the last man aren't you?

Thanks for raising the quality of the general, user.

soyyourself

>He says, posting his 6th pink wojak of the morning.

Ok you said if i corner mannlet into a minor settlement he will accept confederation but he doesn't, what else do i need to do to the fucker?

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newfags from /v/
They also think that high elves are basically warcraft elves and are incompetent instead of being noldor - darth noldor and Sindar elves.

/twg/ become feeding grounds for shitposters. Local residents get baited very easily and offer a good amount of lulz.

take your shitty memes back to Veeky Forums

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No, he will accept vassalization if you leave him no other choice. The minor settlement is simply to keep him from being eliminated when you take Drakenhof. The whole point of it is to keep him under your thumb until he spawns Kemmler and Ghorst so you can get all of the LLs possible later in the game.

Soyjacks are posted on /v/ the most out of anywhere.

So i need to have significantly more military might than him?

> SOY POSTS
> POSTING WOJAK

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This is universally true for confederation, yes. With vassalization you can usually get this by surrounding the faction's last settlement and army in a siege they don't think they can win.

Or you can win siege in their last settlement and pick vassal option

>powergaming

soy off

Does this count as a soy post?

>hate playing wood elves in the campaign
>love playing wood elves in battles
Anyone else like this?

Soon.

the good thing about warhammer was their takes on the fantasy races.
all elves including high elves are degenerates that would easily succumb to pleasures and excess in warhammer

Their campaign is fine

It feels weird to expand out of Athel Loren.

i love playing wood
:DDDD

>degenerates
as opposed to humans
Or dwarfs
Only the orcs are pure.

>Wanting to use the necromancer LLs for flavor is powergaming.
>When both varieties of generic vampire lords are better.

Another thought ocurred to me, how is poor bastard supposed to hire LL's if he's stuck in waldenhof?

The Vaults are rightful Asrai clay, though. And Tilea. And Skavenblight. And Estalia. And Bretonnia.

High Elves just have soy LLs with serious Gandalf and anime protagonist. Eltharion and Alith Anar when

>as opposed to other TW games
why does /twg/ have so many babbies that started with shogun 2 or rome 2?
building limits is a nuTW thing

The same way the Red Duke does, static income + AI cheats.

At least i got the enemy general.This is the end of the Dacian Dream.