So how do I go about becoming a Christian? Do I just go to the nearest church and say "I want to be a Christian now?"

So how do I go about becoming a Christian? Do I just go to the nearest church and say "I want to be a Christian now?"

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oriental_Orthodoxy
twitter.com/AnonBabble

"hello father. I was born and raised and such and such, and after some searching, I've thought long and hard, I've decided I want to convert to xxxxx Christianity. Could you offer any guidance or information?"

That would prob work.

I know alot of 3-8 out of ten chicks that hang out with 1/10 beta nerds once a week at bible study so find one and have fun.

What kind? Catholic, Orthodox, or heretic?

>or heretic

Why would you want to?

qt christian chicks

do they even put out tho? Unless you're trying to play the long game.

Say a prayer and ask Jesus into your heart and poof - you're done!

yeah, they do. Big time. Unless you're a mormon or baptist or some shit

user, catholic school girls aren't different than any other girls, they're sexually repressed but if you can get them to open up you get a prime teenage virgin pussy all for yourself


I'm not just talking shit, I'm serious

ah, I genuinely have like no experience with Christians since I grew up under a different religion. I did hear about some mormons who do anal to "preserve" their virginity but I thought that mighta just been exaggerated. Good to know.

I don't think all the effort is worth the pussy.

What's her name?

They're not supposed to put out but girls are gonna fuck when they want to fuck

females have generally not changed in 4000 years, if they're told they'll go to hell for vaginal sex, they'll do anal

>Her

No. Read the New Testament. Read it with an open mind, for reading it with any presuppositions will only blur and dilute its message, and you won't understand it. Spend time thinking about the more important verses. Cross-reference them in other translations to make sure that you got them right. Look up commentaries, but take them with a grain of salt. Think about concepts and entities christianity invokes (reading about Greek philosophy might help, because it illuminates some christian terminology, like agape and filia, the concept of God as the Absolute etc.). Think about theological problems and solve them - they mostly come from misunderstanding the nature of God. Reading Dostoevsky and Hugo might or might not help you understand the spirit of christianity, which you must understand to become christian. And finally, have faith.

Good job, you failed before you even tried.

Even better.

B-but that's heresy.

pretty much, Saul then Paul.

Read the New Testament first and preferably don't read the Old Testament at all. reading the Old Testament without heavy doses of apologetics and an emotional investment in the gospel story is dangerous

If you will be my disciple, then deny yourself take up your cross and follow me

>father
OP said Christian not papist

Catholics aren't Christian

Yes and you fear your priest and your dog and demons and devils. And give only a little bit of what you have extra. And worry about providing for. Yourself first then others and love God as much as you love. Yourself or your neighbor. Christianity is a meme religion now. Like harambe before he died to what he is now. Tldr, don't be a Christian just read Your Bible and believe in Jesus Christ and do what he has said to do. It is mythology with meaning.

>priest
Christianity doesn't have priests

churches are houses of the devil. give all you have to the poor. Read the book. Believe and obey Jesus and you will be saved. Be your neighbors servant and love your neighbor.

Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.
Hebrews 13:17

You just have to be a massive beta and a literal cuckold, as it is the true Christcuck way.

nearly cut myself on that fedora

That's what I did OP, and now I'm on the road to getting baptised into the Orthodox Church. It's really easy, and everybody will be helpful. Godspeed OP.

Can I ask me mom as well?

what branch? are you one of their ethnic groups e.g greek or russian extraction?
are they welcoming to outsiders?

euphoric

Not even a meme

I'm ethnically Macedonian but born and raised in the UK, I don't speak the language and short of my surname I don't think anybody would be able to tell that I'm not English.

The Church is Greek Orthodox in the Russian Tradition, which means that it is under the control of the Patriarch of Constantinople in Turkey, but has the Russian traditions and liturgy.

I would say about 50% of the Parish are English converts to Orthodoxy, and then the other 50% are cradle Orthodox. Everybody is really welcoming and friendly, there doesn't seem to be any ethnicism.

I have friends in America who converted to Orthodoxy, and they joined OCA (Syrian Exarchate) and found that it was welcoming and not very ethnic at all.

Why would you want hell?

look at this faggot taking this shit seriously

tips fedora

Myaphisites are kawaii you bastard.

>Hebrews 13:17
>paul
lol

Miaphasyites are Orthodox.

You can't be serious.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oriental_Orthodoxy

You just have to believe in the Divinity of Jesus.

I think the biggest problem people have with christianity is that God is not benevolent. He let's people suffer!

Religion is nowhere near as simple as that m80.

The sufferings of the material world are as irrelevant as the material world itself.

Suffering is part of life and human beings learn from it.

Define 'Christian'

If you just want to generally believe in Christ's message and Christian theology in general, you're quite free to do so, no sign-up necessary.

If you want to join a specific denomination, however, you'll need to be more specific. If it's one of the older churches (Catholic, Orthodox etc) you'll probably need some kind of formal signup, then to go through the relevant rites. For smaller traditions like Quakerism or 'Non-denominational' stuff you just need to show up and you're in

Hebrews is anynomous

christianity is a way of life based on love
>inb4: torture and pedophile
well thats the church but you dont need to be part of a church to be christian/jew/muslim or whatever
read a bible, principally the new testament and the book of proverbs, you have to be critic but its a very simple way of life

Minor threadjacking for a short story I'm working on.

How would one become a Catholic priest in the late 5th-early 6th centuries? In what's now France, if it matters.

>Catholic
>5th century
you should probably just give up

Ok fine, whatever you call the pre-schismatic church in western Europe. Since the term was used to describe the church in Rome as early as the mid 2nd century, I figured it was apropos.


If it satisfies your bizarre autism, just read it as under the auspicies of the Roman Church.

That might lead to the proper result, but it's always been about starting a personal relationship with the living God, your creator.

The way to be saved is the way God said to be saved, and that way is found in Paul's gospel to the Romans, Romans 10:9-13.

If you confess with your mouth, that is to say out loud, that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart God raised him from the dead, you will be saved; you will become a born again Christian.

Because God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, Jesus, so that whoever believes in Jesus does not perish but gains eternal life. (John 3:16 paraphrased).

Go to one in authority in that church, swear vows, execute rites and rituals, be a priest. All you have to do is give up your life; they'll readily take it.